"We'll be back some time after midnight, okay, honey?"
Elsa offered a short grunt of acknowledgement, eyes focussed on the television, but otherwise didn't do anything. She knew her parents were sending her furtive glances, but she couldn't bring herself to face them.
"Sure you don't want to come? There'll be plenty of kids there, too..."
"I'm sure, Mom," came the disinterested reply. And truthfully, she was. What better way to spend New Years by herself, waiting for the ball to drop, than home alone? She had no interest in going out and trying to act happy why she was still sobbing inside. "Go have fun. I'll order a pizza or something..." And ruin some other soul's night because who the fuck wants to work on New Years?
She heard her mother give a quiet hum, but then her father was shepherding the woman out the door.
"Have fun, kiddo," he called. Elsa gave a half-hearted wave before she returned her attention to the TV.
She almost expected him to tell her to invite a friend over—it's what they usually did—and it took her several moments to realise that they had actually left.
Good. That was good. Wasn't it? She wanted to be alone. She wanted to break out her giant block of chocolate and not have to share it. It would be so much easier to eat without Anna stealing it. She could put Love Actually on and actually immerse herself in the film because Anna wouldn't be chirping the lines next to her.
It wasn't like the red-head even wanted to do those things anymore. Not after that lunch. And it still hurt because hadn't Anna said she loved Elsa anyway? That they'd be friends no matter what? Anna hadn't tried to contact her once. Elsa had watched from her window earlier as Hans, with his douchey hair and douchey car, rocked up to Anna's, taking her away even further from Elsa. She hadn't even been able to pretend she wasn't watching when Anna glanced up and their eyes met.
There was so much guilt and regret and confusion behind those eyes. It made Elsa sick. She couldn't do anything with those emotions. They only made everything worse because it just proved that Anna didn't feel the same way.
That they were going to let this come between them, just as Elsa always knew it would.
Shaking her head, she forced those thoughts away. If everything was going to remind her of Anna, she was going to do her best not to dwell on them. Address and move on.
And, for the next few hours, it worked. Every single sad moment—or the mere thought of one—set Elsa off again, but at least she could pretend it was the film and not the fact that she was facing the new year alone. That she was starting the new year alone.
She had moved onto He's Just Not That Into You when the first film was done and spent most of it distracting herself by musing the lack of lesbian rom-coms. How could angsty-hetero movies even compare when there was a possibility of moving out of the friendzone?
And maybe that was the problem. Because while rejection hurt, Anna's complete failure to address her feelings was what really stung—was what truly hurt.
Elsa felt herself tearing up, the events of Christmas coming back to her. Pausing the movie and flicking it over to the TV, ready to watch the ball drop, she wiped at her eyes. It was almost midnight, and she hadn't even thought of any resolutions.
She wasn't sure she wanted to.
Standing up, she picked up the half-block of chocolate remaining, deciding to save it (and her pristine teeth) from further damage that night. She was halfway to the kitchen when a light tapping came from the front door.
"Elsa?"
Elsa's hands came to cover her mouth and she bit back a noise. The last—and yet the only—person she wanted to see was standing at her front door.
Opening the door, Elsa had to fight with herself not to slam it in Anna's face, rejecting the girl who had so thoroughly rejected her.
But she couldn't do that. Not when Anna looked so surprised to see her there or when she looked so beautiful. Elsa didn't even try to stop herself as her eyes raked up and down Anna's figure.
It had been a very long, lonely week.
After all, she had nothing more to lose.
Anna was wearing a pretty pink dress; Elsa had been with her when she bought it. The left sleeve was dangling off her shoulder a little, and Elsa watched in silence as Anna attempted to straighten it.
"Hi, Els..." the red-head said softly. Elsa swallowed.
"What do you want, Anna?" she ask, voice equally subdued.
Anna bit her lip, looking at Elsa with penitent eyes before looking away again. "Can I come in? Please?"
As loath as she was to let Anna in, Elsa still stepped back, allowing the girl entrance. Anna stood awkwardly in the foyer as Elsa closed the door. It was probably obvious that she had been crying but Elsa didn't care. She's been laid bare before Anna once already. Nothing could change it, make it any worse now.
"Where's Hans?" she asked, unable to keep the bitterness from her voice. Anna bit her lip when she heard it, looking at the floor.
"Probably messing around with Vanessa at the party," she said to the carpet. When Elsa didn't say anything, she continued, even softer than before, with, "I'm sorry, Elsa... I shouldn't have come here..."
Elsa shook her head, and had Anna been looking at her, she would have noticed the blonde swallow thickly. "You broke up with Hans?"
When Anna gave a small nod, it felt like a volcano erupted in Elsa's stomach. She had no idea how to take it, wasn't even sure if it was a good thing or not. Why was this so hard? Here they were, sharing stilted conversation on New Year's eve, minutes\ before Elsa planned to promise herself to be happy. And now here was Anna, confusing her all over again.
"Why?"
At that, Anna gave a shrug, before clearing her throat. "Elsa," she said, and didn't that just sting? Elsa could have cried at the tenderness with which Anna breathed her name. Anna beat her too it, though, and Elsa watched, unsure how to feel, as the red-head wiped at her eyes. "Elsa, I'm sor-"
"Stop."
The single word, interrupting Anna, managed to do just that. Anna sniffled and opened her mouth, but before she could say a word, Elsa was talking again.
"Don't- don't tell me you're sorry. It doesn't mean anything. Anna your words mean nothing—" Elsa cut herself off before she too began crying, but it made no difference. Her emotions had already been running high since Christmas. Coming face-to-face with Anna, she had no hope of holding them back. "Just go away," she whimpered, wiping her eyes and nose on her sleeve. "Ignore how I feel once again, like always, Anna. Go away."
Without another word, Elsa turned and moved toward the steps, taking them two at a time in her bid to escape the soft eyes of her best friend and ready to lock herself away from the world once again. Away from Anna.
She didn't expect the red-head to follow her.
"Elsa!"
Anna forced the blonde's door open only seconds after it had been shut, and Elsa found herself unable to stem the angry torrent of words that spilled from her mouth like poison.
"Go away, Anna! Go back to your douchey boyfriend and laugh about what a stupid lesbian I am. Stupid Elsa Arendelle has a stupid fucking crush on her best friend! Who could ever like her when her "best friend" doesn't even- doesn't even notice?!"
He voice had gotten louder and louder until the final three words. Elsa's face was an unrecognisable swath of mottled red and white, tear-streaks staining her cheeks and hands as she desperately tried to wipe it away. Anna remained wide-eyed and silent as Elsa collapsed on the edge of her bed, gazing into the red-head's eyes as her voice broke.
"You kissed me, Anna. Didn't that- doesn't that mean anything?"
At any other time, it might have been funny; Elsa talking (loudly) about whatever was on her mind and Anna being the quiet, stoic one. Neither girl saw the humour in the situation at that moment.
"I—" And of course Anna didn't know what to say. Elsa tore her eyes away, crawling up to the head of her bed and sitting with her knees tucked under her chin.
"Don't hurt me anymore, Anna," she pleaded. "I'm tired of hurting."
"Elsa, I never wanted to hurt you, I- I was stupid. I didn't realise..." she let out a sigh. "I didn't realise it was me." Anna moved closer, emboldened by Elsa's lack of response. She sat next to the blonde but made sure not to touch her. There was no telling what it would do.
"Nothing ever changed between us. I just thought you were confused. Like- like me. And I used to tell you everything but now I don't know what to do because you kept this from me and I don't even know why." Anna sniffled a few times, and Elsa willed her own tears to stop. She wanted to tell Anna to go away again, but at the same time, she knew she would regret it later. Her mind was at war with itself, and the only one who could call a ceasefire didn't understand.
Next to her, Anna continued talking. Elsa wasn't too sure what she was saying anymore; the mere fact of Anna's voice was enough. The smell of lavender from her shampoo. Elsa breathed it in and allowed herself to pay attention to what Anna was talking about again.
"I thought Hans was a nice guy. He was always so polite and formal and he liked me and- and I liked him. But then he laughed at you, Elsa, and something changed. And tonight, with our friends from school... he's not a nice person. But you are. You- you've always been there for me. You punched a guy for laughing at my freckles and no one believed him because you're always so quiet!" Anna let out a pathetic laugh at the memory. "Els," she said, turning her head to look at the blonde. She waited until Elsa had met her gaze, even half-heartedly, to continue. "Els, you've always been there for me when I was hurt or confused. Now it's my turn."
And before Elsa had a chance to even begin to comprehend Anna's words, the red-head had rolled onto her hands and knees, moving forward as her lips pressed softly against Elsa's, a hand swiftly coming up to cup her cheek. This time, unlike that night in the snow, Elsa did have time to react, and yet she didn't do anything but sit there as Anna moved slightly so she was facing Elsa more directly, pressure deepening for a moment before she pulled away.
"Anna?"
Anna's lips quirked in an almost-smile and she leaned forward again, ignoring the soft almost-question. Elsa's eyes remained open, staring into Anna's for as long as she could. When she increased the pressure, pushing Elsa's head back into the headboard, the blonde finally succumbed, closing her eyes and trying to enjoy the sensation of soft lips and warm breath against her.
Elsa tasted like chocolate, and Anna opened her mouth to draw in her friend's bottom lip, only for a moment before she backed away. Within seconds, her lips were back, teasing and coaxing Elsa to unwrap herself, to reciprocate.
"Elsa," Anna murmured just millimetres from the blonde's lips. She swallowed thickly, a heavy blush settling on her features as, when her tongue darted out to wet her lips, Elsa's eyes couldn't help but follow the action. Swallowing again, she closed her eyes and moved forward, resting her forehead against Elsa's and rubbing their noses together. "Elsa... kiss me."
Elsa couldn't breath. Not when Anna had asked for the very thing she wanted. Not with the other girl pressing so close, so warm. Her thoughts were flying a mile a minute as Anna pressed a chaste kiss at the corner of her mouth, urging her into doing exactly what she'd dreamed of for so long.
She didn't know how to feel. All she had wanted, for longer than she dared to remember, was Anna. But the newer memories—the recollection of Anna and Hans, of Christmas. Of outing herself and realising her dreams would never come to fruition because, after everything, Anna had never dreamed herself. Not this. Not with Elsa.
And yet here she was, kneeling in front of Elsa, lips hovering just out of reach. She wanted Elsa to move. The words—the plea—was accompanied by actions that only proved them true.
There was still that nagging doubt in Elsa's mind, though. Anna was asking for exactly what she wanted, but how could she be sure it wasn't a ruse? How could she be sure that Anna wasn't playing her, didn't have Hans waiting for her return, ready to laugh and gossip about Elsa and what she had done.
Elsa heard Anna murmur her name again, caught on the breath that hovered between them, and she decided.
She didn't care. She didn't care how much it hurt because being with Anna, having the red-head want her just as much as she was wanted, was enough for Elsa.
"Anna..." This time, when she said those two syllables, they weren't the soft, hesitant ones of earlier. This time, it was low and thick, coming not from Elsa's head but her heart. Bringing her hands up, Elsa clasped Anna's cheeks, pressing her lips solidly against Anna's. The other girl let out a muffled cry, surprised and unprepared for the vigour in which Elsa moved her lips, drawing Anna's bottom one into her mouth and sucking lightly before releasing it.
Elsa's eyes fell shut as she drank in the flavour and texture and essence that was Anna. Slowly, she uncurled herself, bringing her legs down and her hands up, tugging at the ties that held Anna's braids together. Anna's hands came up to meet hers, and soon her hair was free, Elsa's slender fingers running through it.
Slowing down, Elsa tried to pull Anna onto her lap, aware of the awkward angle in which the girl was leaning towards her. Anna broke the kiss with a slight shake of her head, eyes flickering up to meet Elsa's before moving down; whether in embarrassment or something else, Elsa couldn't tell.
Anna seemed about to say something, but nothing came out. Her mouth opened and shut for a moment, and the only thought that went through Elsa's head was why is she trying to talk when we could be kissing?
The brief respite gave Elsa a chance to catch her breath, though, and she became aware of the familiar sensation sitting just below her stomach. Anna's eyes were wide and open, her mouth slightly ajar and cheeks flushed, and the sight did nothing to tame the embers that had begun to burn. Elsa knew what she wanted—her mind and body were crying out,screaming, for the same thing—and yet none of it would mean a thing if Anna didn't want to, either.
Biting the corner of her mouth, the taste of Anna flickering at the edges of her memory, she beckoned the girl forward. Anna visibly swallowed, and Elsa gave her the softest smile she could muster.
It grew when she realised just how easy it was to smile in front of Anna, and she bit her lip bashfully.
Anna returned the expression. It was nice, kissing Elsa. It was comfortable. She was soft and delicate but so wanting. Elsa wanted Anna. All of her.
Swallowing thickly, Anna moved forward. She pressed her nose into Elsa's cheek before kissing the spot she just nuzzled. Elsa's eyes fluttered shut at the sensation. All too soon, it was gone, but when Elsa opened her eyes, the new view was just as tantalising.
Anna was lying next to Elsa, propped up on one arm, a half-cocked grin revealing the tips of pearlescent teeth. She grasped her top lip between them and her gaze seemed to flicker from Elsa's mouth to her eyes.
Elsa could barely breath when Anna's hand found her cheek, guiding her forward and rolling slightly until Elsa was all but lying on top of her. She inhaled sharply as Elsa gained some sort of courage and, moving of her own accord, slipped her leg in between Anna's.
"Is this okay?" Elsa murmured, face flushed. Her breath puffed against Anna's face in warm little bursts, and she found herself unable to hold Anna's gaze. Her eyes flickered from Anna's cheeks to her chin, wanting to reach out and continue kissing the red-head senseless.
She held back, though. She didn't want to do anything without Anna's permission. As though the girl sensed her plight, Anna lifted herself up slightly, grazing her lips over Elsa's. As she moved away, the blonde followed her, settling deeper into the embrace of the younger girl.
"This is okay, Elsa," Anna responded into Elsa's lips. "Anything you want is okay."
Elsa honestly didn't need anything more than that. She was done waiting.
All but slamming her lips to Anna's, she grasped Anna's cheeks with her hands, pulling her as close as possible. Eyes squeezed shut, Elsa lost herself in the sensation of the girl beneath her; Anna's lips and teeth, her hands roaming lightly across the expanse of Elsa's back. The way Anna's body felt like fire, smouldering through the layers of cloth.
The warmth of Anna, a never-ending, raging inferno that Elsa couldn't get enough of. Her scent was as good as any oxygen, and Elsa breathed it in greedily. Having Anna beneath her was better than anything her deepest fantasies could conjure. Anna was real; they weren't.
That thought awoke something else in the blonde, and without thinking, she let one hand snake down to press against Anna's chest. The red-head gasped at the sudden sensation, and Elsa took that opportunity to deepen the kiss even further, letting her tongue play along the edges of Anna's lips before dipping lower, only for a moment.
Her own desire was obvious, in the flush of her face and she could feel her nipples pressing against her shirt, the material rough against her sensitive flesh.
It wasn't enough. She was torn between leaving Anna's lips to trail further down and keeping them there forever, basking in the taste of her best friend.
The very thought sent a delicious chill up her spine and, as though her body had a mind of its own, Elsa rolled her hips against Anna's thigh. The pressure could have made her sob. As it was, she broke the contact between their lips, hand pressing down as her face was buried into Anna's neck. She didn't want to make a sound and ruin whatever precarious moment was hanging between them.
She never realised how much she needed this, how perfect the moment was. A low moan built in her throat, though it was instantly quashed as she pressed her body closer, and yet it still wasn't enough. She was barely aware of the way Anna's hands clenched in her hair, pulling at her braid, and Elsa dragged her mouth down to the top of Anna's dress, kissing the revealed flesh. Her thought about kissing each and every one of her friend's freckles came back to her, and in no time at all, she was lathering Anna's collar and throat with soft kisses.
"Oh God, Elsa." The three words were whispered into the night. Anna's fingers suddenly pressed deep into her scalp as she tensed for a moment; the way her head was forced to remain where it was, lips unable to part from the soft flesh, convinced Elsa that she was doing something right.
Proud of herself, even as Anna began to relax again, Elsa increased the pressure of her hand on Anna's breast, her own body alight. Anna's arms were still resting on her shoulders, and her fingers playing with the wispy strands of hair that had fallen from Elsa's braid. The air between them was charged, and Elsa wondered if Anna could feel it.
But how could she not, when she was staring into her eyes? How could she not when the kiss they had just shared was more passionate, more volatile, than even Elsa had ever dreamed?
Running the tops of her fingertips over the swell of Anna's chest, Elsa was rewarded with a soft noise. Her eyes didn't leave Anna's, even as the other girl's shut and she shivered a little at the sensation of Elsa's fingers massaging her tender flesh.
Anna moved slightly, and it took a few moments for Elsa to realise she was trying to reach the zip that ran down the left side of the dress. Her libido skyrocketed at the thought and her mouth dried up. If she had any coherent thoughts before, they were replaced by one single, burning desire.
"L-let me," she stuttered, suddenly shy. Never would she stop Anna, but this was going beyond what she had ever, everdreamed possible. Anna gave a small nod, biting her bottom lip and looking away, and Elsa could have whined at the display. As it was, she felt barely-functioning.
Peeling away Anna's dress was a surreal experience. Though Elsa had to separate further than she wanted in order to rid Anna of the offending material, it was worth it as the smooth expanse of freckled skin was revealed. A sigh escaped Elsa's lips at the sight, and she clenched her legs together.
Anna's face heated up in a thick red blush as more skin was revealed. Elsa sat back, soaking in the sight of her best friend, just as Anna seemed to gain some courage and move up so she was sitting against the headboard.
The dress was tossed over the side of the bed, completely forgotten as Elsa's eyes roved over the constellation of Anna's body, drinking in each and every freckle.
She had wanted to kiss all of them, and she knew that if she had the chance, she'd never grow tired of it. There would be no place her lips didn't touch, and the thought sent a delightful tingle shooting into her stomach.
Sitting on her knees, Anna reached forward, grabbing Elsa's hips and trying to pull the blonde girl towards her. Elsa remained stuck in place, eyes still roaming over Anna's arms and stomach, flat and muscled, to the swell of her breasts hidden behind a pink bra.
Anna's chest heaved with heavy breaths, and Elsa's eyes were drawn to the movement. Her fingers reached out without her permission and trailed random patterns on Anna's stomach, feeling the muscles twitch below the skin.
Anna gave another tug, and Elsa became aware of what her friend was doing. She realised with a short start that Anna was almost bare in front of her and yet she still had most of herself covered.
Swallowing, she followed Anna's lead, shuffling closer. Of all the nights not to wear a bra... Elsa leaned forward, aware of how her camisole moved against her breasts.
She wanted Anna to touch her, undress her, press her against the bed and just take her, but the thought of vocalising such a thing sent her stomach clenching, and she bit back a low, pitiful moan, almost entirely unsuccessful as it echoed in the small space between the two of them.
Anna's hands, which were still, resting where they had fallen on Elsa's hips when the blonde first sat up, clenched at the sound. Surprised, Elsa jolted at the action, center grazing Anna's leg again.
"Guck," she choked out, clenching her eyes shut for a second to attempt to regain her composure before realising the noise she made and opening them again in horror. Anna looked just as startled as she felt, and Elsa's stomach felt all twisted up at the sight.
She opened her mouth to- what? Apologise? Elsa didn't know. It didn't end up mattering, though, when she caught sight of the expression on Anna's face, because she barely had time to take note of the grin pushing through a soft blush before Anna squeezed her hands again, this time forcing Elsa's hips to move.
"Ugh." The sound she made this time was less strangled, but by no means less involuntary. Elsa's arms flew up to try to cover her face in embarrassment, but Anna beat her to it, gently grasping her hands. Even the slight pressure of Anna's thumb on the inside of her wrists had the blonde shivering, enjoying it far more than she thought she would. Anna's head cocked to the side slightly as Elsa shivered a little, feeling the pressure increase a little more.
"...Hi..." she said softly, more breathy than she intended it to be. Anna angled her head away, almost bashfully, as she answered.
"Hi me?"
The simple exchange sat in such dark contrast to the similar, only a few weeks before. That time, their first kiss (and wasn't that thought just one of the most exciting?), Elsa hadn't been in control. Not of Anna, not of herself. How quickly had the red-head turned the tables on her, able to steer Elsa in the direction they both wanted?
Wetting her lips, Elsa watched, fascinated, as Anna's eyes followed the movement of her tongue. She had to close her eyes just so she could clear her head enough to speak. "A-Anna—" and oh simply saying her name made Elsa never want to stop, murmuring it to the heavens forever "—I don't want to- you need to- I don't—" and dammit, she couldn't speak anyway.
Anna seemed to understand, though, and Elsa found her lips pressed against Anna's own. This kiss was so different to the others they had shared. Closed and chaste, barely a peck, it still managed to convey such a sense of security, and undercurrents of something unnameable, as hadn't been shared by the two before.
When Anna pulled away, a soft smile accompanying her words, Elsa couldn't help but wonder how her friend managed to remain in charge of her mind; how could she stop it from falling victim to the same hazy mush that had replaced all of her own higher functions.
"I want this, Elsa," Anna said. "Right now, I want whatever this is..."
It would be so easy to let the desire at her center take control, let it lead and direct her actions, but Elsa had enough wits about her to realise that it wouldn't be for the best. She pushed down several different thoughts on how to proceed, each one becoming less and less forward, less bold, until there was a plan in mind that she was actually happy with.
One step at a time, Elsa.
Leaning forward, she pressed her lips deeply into Anna's as her arms came to wrap around speckled shoulders. She felt Anna's warm hands snake around her middle, and as their knees bumped, she realised just how much she wanted to touch Anna; hold her close, their skin brushing against each other in whatever moment they shared.
And that she wanted to see and feel even more of Anna.
It was Anna who surprised her next, though, and not her own actions; in the few moments she had drifted off, the pleasant sensation of Anna tickling at her lips, the red-head had managed to bring Elsa in even closer. Her lips began trailing down Elsa's neck, and the mere thought of Anna's lips sucking on her skin, marking her, sent another wave of pure heat pulsing through her body.
So slowly—she barely even realised it—Anna increased the pressure, all the while tugging Elsa's hips closer. Within a matter of minutes, Elsa found herself lying on her back, the delightful pressure of Anna against her front.
Their lips only broke after the need for oxygen became too great, Anna resting her head in the crook of Elsa's neck, kissing it softly. The sensation was pleasant enough, but nowhere near where Elsa wanted—or needed—her to be. She couldn't bring herself to voice such a thing, though, and instead murmured a soft, "Wait," into the still air.
Anna paused for a moment, moving back far enough for Elsa to adjust herself—and pull her pyjama pants off, leaving her in only slightly more material than Anna.
When Anna's hands reached up and behind her back to the clasp on her bra, Elsa could have whimpered. Her own hands sought out the hem of her camisole, but they didn't move further, waiting for Anna.
The last thing she wanted to do was scare her best friend away. Especially not in this moment.
But, Anna didn't seem scared. Her chest heaving, still trying to catch up on the breath she missed out on while kissing Elsa, she smiled, face bright red, the blush spreading down her neck and to the tops of her breasts. Her bra still hid her modesty, and obvious signs of her arousal, but Elsa had a feeling that obstruction wouldn't be there for too much longer.
She was right.
With practised movements, Anna unclasped her bra. Looking away, she slowly let the material fall to her lap, baring herself.
Honestly, Elsa wasn't sure how momentous an occasion this was. It wasn't like she had never seen Anna naked before, but now, in this setting, it had entirely different connotations. Never before had she been allowed to gaze, unhindered, at the sight of her best friend; the fact that she was sitting on Elsa's bed in only her underwear only made the situation worse (or was it better?) in Elsa's opinion.
Anna's breasts were... perfect. There was no other way to describe them. From their slight swell, larger than Elsa's (only a little, though. Anna had always been slightly stockier, and Elsa had always loved it), coated in warm freckles and peaked with perfect nipples.
She reached out to touch, before catching herself. Just because Anna had shown her didn't mean that she wanted anything else to happen.
But then Anna was covering them with her arms, embarrassed and awkward, as she looked away. Her eyes flickered over to the blonde for a second before moving back, and Elsa had no idea what Anna was trying to communicate. But it was embarrassing to talk about this stuff! People didn't actually talk to each other during... intimate moments, did they?
So, she would just have to show Anna with actions, not words. Wasn't that more romantic anyway?
...was this night even supposed to be romantic? Elsa didn't know. Didn't want to know, in all honesty. That wasn't the point. The point was that Anna was here anyway, with her—for her.
If she hadn't already known it was impossible to love this girl even more, Elsa was sure her heart would swell at the thought. She would make this the best experience she could.
Leaning forward, Elsa held Anna's hips, pressing their lips firmly together. She let her hands wander up Anna's ribcage; gliding across the heated flesh, over the fabric of her underwear and onto Anna's thighs. Each movement was accompanied by a small shiver—if this was what Elsa could do without even touching Anna's breasts or between her legs, she could barely wait to truly touch Anna. They sat there for a moment, lips intertwined as Elsa moved closer and closer, bit by bit, until she was close enough to fully wrap Anna in a hug if she wanted.
She did want to, but there were other things to be done first—like removing her own top. No wonder Anna felt awkward.
But Elsa would be lying if she told herself that she was scared of what was happening. Nervous and excited, slightly apprehensive, incredibly turned on... but not scared.
Manoeuvring as best she could in the small space, unwilling to move too far away, Elsa slipped the camisole from her shoulders, letting it pool around her waist. Anna's eyes raked over Elsa's body, causing the blonde to blush. It was... nice... having Anna be just as interested in her body as she was of the red-head's.
Their lips met again, and within a matter of seconds, Elsa was lying down on top of Anna, her hands gripping her friend's hips as she shifted her weight, trying not to squash the girl prone beneath her. Their breasts brushed against each other, and almost simultaneously, they let out short gasps at the sensation. Elsa's was far more breathy, though Anna's was laced with surprise. Looking into the teal eyes of her best friend, Elsa saw the same desire swimming there that had to be in her own eyes.
She hadn't expected the whole situation to be so... comfortable. It was a little embarrassing, she reaily admitted, to be so obvious—to be so easy to read—but the ever-present grin at the corner of Anna's mouth; the sparkle in her eyes, it was all more than enough to belay any and all fears.
For that reason, the embarrassment at being so receptive vanished as Anna's hand came up to her breasts, hands running over sensitive nipples. Elsa was torn between moving up to touch Anna, or just cradling the other girl. They were no longer kissing; Elsa's mouth was open a little bit, a silent gasp. Even her breath was shallow.
And then Anna's thumb ran over her left nipple, abandoning the tentative touches for something more substantial. It was painfully obvious that neither really knew what they were doing, but that was okay because they were together.
And as much as Elsa loved having Anna beneath her, gloriously uncovered and so wanting, she wanted to touch her, hold her, have her.
So, swooping down, Elsa kissed her passionately, making small noises of pleasure into her mouth. Tongue running along Anna's bottom lip, Elsa almost distracted herself, getting lost in Anna; the feel of her against Elsa's bare skin, breasts pressed together with her knees on either side of Anna's hips, squeezing softly. Elsa hadn't known she could get any more turned on, and yet here she was.
The heat in her core pushed its way to the forefront of her mind, and it was al she could do not to reach down and tend to it herself. But why do that while Anna was here? Wasn't... wasn't that where this was going?
Swallowing, Elsa pulled back a little. Even as their lips separated, Anna kept close, nuzzling her nose into Elsa's. Such softness had the blonde's heart swelling, and she ran a hand through Anna's hair, stroking gently before bringing her other hand up to cup Anna's cheeks.
Placing a solid kiss on Anna's cheek, just below her right eye, Elsa sought out her friend's gaze, swallowing as she opened her mouth to speak.
"Anna," she murmured. "I want to touch you."
As if either of them were actually surprised at the soft admission.
Taking hold of one of Elsa's hands, Anna brought it up to her chest, pressing it to the smooth skin between her breasts before letting go. Elsa needed no prompting to move, hand gliding over the freckles to Anna's left breast. She could feel the red-head's eyes on her as her hand came to cover the soft flesh, but Elsa couldn't take her eyes from Anna's chest.
Her hands moved from one to the other, continue their exploration of Anna's skin. Elsa set about memorising the dips and curves of her best friend's body. With the barest of pauses, Elsa leaned up, nuzzling into Anna's chest. The red-head's hands, which had fallen to Elsa's ribs, came up to tangle in blonde hair as Elsa captured one pink nipple in her mouth.
Oh. So this was happening. An embarrassed blush overtook the aroused on on her face as Elsa moaned lowly, the vibrations traveling through her freckled chest.
When Elsa's hand moved back to her other breast, she couldn't hold back the squeak that erupted from her mouth at the force with which Elsa's fingers rolled her nipple.
If the sound that came from the blonde was evidence enough, it was obvious that she liked the sounds Anna was making.
Snaking her hand down, Elsa ran her fingertips over the waistband of Anna's underwear, revelling in the way the girl rolled her hips softly. Elsa moved her mouth from Anna's heaving chest, moving up to nip at her jaw.
"This okay?" Each syllable was uttered almost reluctantly, as though any noise would destroy the precarious position they had found themselves in. She needn't have worried as Anna nodded, hips becoming ever-more insistent as Elsa's fingers slowly dipped under the material.
God Anna was so warm and wet and wanting. Her middle finger glided over Anna's clit, and the red-head jolted back with a sharp intake. Her hips squirmed as Elsa did it again, and she clenched her eyes shut, looking away. Elsa had no way of predicting what the sight of Anna moving beneath her—because of her—would do, but in the moment all she could dwell on was just how arousing it was.
Dipping a finger lower, Elsa met Anna's lips in a searing kiss, swallowing the short cry that came from her sliding a finger into her friend, thumb pressing insistently on Anna's clit.
"Mmph!" Elsa felt Anna's jaw lock as she began to move her finger, not quite sure if she should (or even could) add a second one. The angle was different from her own ventures, and she focussed her efforts on the sensitive bundle of nerves, thumb rubbing haphazardly over it. Elsa's own hips began to roll, desperate for friction of her own to bring similar pleasure.
Elsa felt Anna's legs attempt to close around her hand, and the red-head's entire body tensed with an, "Ah!" as her thumb swiped up. Elsa looked on, equal parts confusion and want present on her face as Anna sucked her lips into her mouth..
Elsa had revelled in the earlier feel of Anna's hands running through her hair, so it came to her as a surprise when she realised that those same hands now held her wrists, no longer entangled in her platinum locks. Unable to continue, she looked at Anna, whose open eyes shone softly with ...relief?
... Had she come already?
"Let me touch you, Elsa," Anna said softly, voice slightly breathless. "You've been wanting this so much longer than me..." Swallowing, Elsa moved her hand from Anna's underwear, nodding softly. She couldn't deny how much she wanted Anna to touch her now that the other girl had mentioned it.
Repositioning themselves, Anna atop her blonde friend, Elsa couldn't help but sigh at the pleasant pressure all around her. Almost immediately, her hips began moving, and she could finally allow herself to think of her own need, a slickness in her underwear that begged attention.
Anna didn't give it.
Starting at the top of Elsa's forehead, she began kissing every inch of the flushed skin, letting her hands drift lightly over her flesh. She avoided Elsa's lips, though, instead moving straight on to the girl's neck and sucking heavily, nipping and licking the tender flesh that would only come up as a thick bruise. The idea of Anna leaving a mark on her sent such a wave of arousal coursing through Elsa that she couldn't bite back the needy moan that rolled from her tongue, carrying Anna's name into the space between them. Her chest arched upward, and all too soon, Anna was moving on, lingering at her collar before arriving at her breasts.
Elsa had never been one to focus on them, but God having Anna take one nipple into her mouth, rolling and sucking, Elsa had developed a new-found appreciation for that aspect of her body.
She hadn't believed it was possible to be this turned on, but maybe that was just the effect Anna had on her. The relentless teasing was something she'd never had enough control to attempt herself, and as Anna's hand slowly began its descent to where she needed it most, she knew she wouldn't last long anyway.
She didn't even attempt to silence the moan that sounded from her throat as Anna finally, finally, began to touch her. God she was so ready for this.
Anna's middle finger moved up and down slowly, from one end of her slit to the other. She wasn't kissing Elsa's breasts anymore; her face was turned upward, watching the blonde with an almost frightful intensity.
"Oh- ohh..." The soft noises, coupled with the scrutiny in which she was being observed, should have embarrassed Elsa. Instead, they only made her more desperate for Anna's touch, and she began grinding her hips upward, seeking out as much friction as she could. Anna slipped her finger into Elsa's warmth, moving in time to the gyrations of her hips.
"Anna..." she moaned, letting her eyes fall shut. She had no idea what Anna was doing—thrusting, circling, rubbing, pressing?—only that it felt a thousand times better than her own hand ever had. Her body knew what it wanted as she pulled Anna in for a searing kiss, but she couldn't identify the feeling that was consuming her save for the warmth that was quickly spiralling out of control. It was more than just Anna's hand that was bringing her ever-closer to release; her own moans in her ears, Anna's naked chest pressing up against her and the thought of her friend, a fantasy that wasn't even such anymore because it was real. Anna was here, with her.
The buildup of her impending release was nothing next to the swelling in her chest. Her movements grew ever-more fervent, hands knotting themselves in Anna's hair and holding their lips together as Anna's finger slipped into her, deeper than before. Elsa's chest heaved as Anna did something; suddenly, the rising waves finally peaked and crashed, pressure releasing all at once as an indescribable heat smothering her. She shuddered and shook in Anna's arms, hips rolling forcefully even as Anna kept her hand moving, slowly bringing her down.
Elsa's hands slipped from Anna's head, the strength sapped from her. She was acutely aware of the stickiness between her legs as Anna removed her hand, placing tender kisses on Elsa's face. Her hands came to wrap around the blonde's shoulders, and Anna rolled them slightly so she was lying on her side, facing Elsa.
With a shock, Elsa realised that somewhere between the mind-blowing orgasm and Anna hugging her, she'd begun crying. Salty tears slowly dripped down her cheeks, and she hastily wiped them away. Who cried at such a moment? She was happy, dammit.
But Anna didn't seem to mind. She just pulled Elsa close, letting the blonde curl into her while she nuzzled her head, eventually lifting Elsa's face in order to kiss her again.
They barely managed to slide under the covers as sleep began to take them. Anna kept her grip on Elsa, and the blonde knew happiness for the first time in months.
She kissed Anna until she couldn't anymore, and even then, she dreamed of it.
The first sensation Elsa became aware of was a warmth at her front that was so at odds with the chill that had settled on her back. Her fingers flexed, meeting softness that she hadn't expected.
Using a finger to dig at the sleep in the corners of her eyes, she slowly opened them, greeting the world.
She was in turn greeted with the sight of Anna, still asleep next to her. A gentle smile worked its way onto Elsa's lips, and she used a hand to brush untamed red hair from Anna's face.
The action seemed to wake her normally-unwakeable friend, and Anna blinked blearily at her.
"Hi…" she murmured after a few moments, her own lips quirking in a small grin. "How are you feeling?"
Elsa bit her lip, eyes darting over Anna's face. She couldn't remember the last time she had felt such peace. Her fingers trailed lightly around Anna's face, brushing over her lips as Elsa contemplated an answer.
"I feel..." she began, "I feel really... happy." And she did. "You make me happy, Anna."
Anna grinned at her then, leaning forward. Her lips connected solidly against Elsa's for a moment, and the blonde sighed softly. How could she truly explain the gravity of her feelings? It wasn't, as she had always known, about Anna's body. Her feelings were in Anna's spirit; her laugh and her smile and how desperately she fought for anything she believed in.
How much she had done for Elsa only a few hours beforehand.
Flickers of the night passed through Elsa's mind, and she was pleased when she didn't even blush. They were still in their underwear, and despite her want to take a shower, it was nowhere near as powerful as wanting to stay with Anna.
"Do…" she started, worrying a lip between her teeth, "What do we do now?"
Elsa couldn't explain it, but she was suddenly self-conscious. Perhaps it was the daylight, or the fact that the lust and desire had vanished, but she moved back a little, hugging her chest for a moment until she realised her shirt was still pooled at her waist—how did I miss that?
Anna watched in mild confusion as Elsa covered herself up. "Elsa-?"
"-What happens now?" Elsa asked. She thought back to the previous night, the memories half-formed and probably inaccurate. Had anything actually been decided? What actually- "What does this mean?"
Anna struggled with the question for a second. She was still lying beneath the sheets, and didn't seem nervous or scared at all. About anything. "It means I lost my virginity to my best friend."
But wasn't that a lie? What had Elsa done when she… pleasured… her friend? It didn't seem to ruin their friendship, but how could it not have?
Mind untainted with the haze of desire, Elsa was able to think back objectively and realise that her actions had been nowhere near as good as Anna's. The way the red-head stopped her, turned the attention onto her own body...
The way her groans sounded so good in the moment but now, with her mind untainted, Elsa could see them as less of the lust-filled cries that she had so wanted them to be. The way Anna had... she'd moved away. She'd taken Elsa's hand and stopped her, and not for the reason Elsa had assumed the previous night.
Who stops someone in the middle of that unless they didn't like it?
Swallowing thickly, Elsa found that she couldn't look at Anna. She felt so vulnerable.
And maybe she'd said last night that she didn't care, because having that moment with Anna was all worth it, but now, she couldn't help but think she'd taken something that Anna hadn't been ready to give. And just because she wanted to give it to Anna didn't mean that the red-head wanted to receive it.
Sure, she had started it, but did that matter? Before, during, and after the fact, Elsa had known that Anna didn't feel quite as powerfully as Elsa felt for her. But she'd still held onto that small hope that maybe those feelings were dormant—that's she had them, bubbling just below the surface. After all, it had taken months for Elsa to be able to admit to herself what she felt for Anna.
Another lost fantasy for the hopeless dreamer in her.
"Elsa," Anna said, taking the blonde's hand, eyes never leaving Elsa's. "I would do it again. You're my best friend. Nothing we do can take that away."
Elsa ripped her hand from Anna's, standing up from the bed. Grabbing her pants from where they had been tossed, she shoved her legs into them.
"You don't-" Elsa began. She became aware of a warmth in her chest, and pressure behind her eyes. God she was so sick of crying, She dug the heel of her hand into her eyes, relishing the roughness. "You don't get it, Anna. You- you made me feel so good last night but I couldn't do that for you. And it wasn't because we- because of what we did-" God she couldn't even say the word.
Removing her hands from her eyes, she noticed Anna's own gaze focussed somewhere on the floor.
"Anna?" she asked, arms coming to wrap around her waist in a self-hug. "Anna?" she questioned again when the red-head didn't look at her.
It took a few seconds before Anna lifted her gaze, looking at Elsa. There was an emotion in her eyes that Elsa had seen before, could name and address but didn't want to.
"Do you-" she began, swallowing the emotion that was building in her chest as best she could. "Do you regret it?"
And of course she didn't have to elaborate because there was only one thing she could be talking about, but the mere fact that Anna didn't answer straight away gave Elsa all she needed.
"I-" Anna began, eyes still averted. "I was confused-" and oh god wasn't that the worse thing she could possibly say? "-and I just-" She paused and gave a sniffle before finally looking up at Elsa, eyes red and swimming in tears she hadn't allowed to fall. "I didn't want to lose you. I wan- wanted to make you happy..."
And Elsa knew that maybe that was always the case, and that it would always end like this, but was it so wrong for her to hope? To maybe dream of that happy ending because if you couldn't share that dream of your future with your best friend, who could you share it with? And it wasn't like it was Anna's fault that such a thing could never come to pass, but neither was it Elsa's, and she needed someone to blame.
"I can't- I can't do this," she murmured to herself. Her hands clenched on her hips and her vision blurred. She didn't notice Anna get up and cover herself, stepping closer to the blonde with every second that passed.
"You'll always be my best friend, Elsa. If you don't want this to change anything, it won't." She moved to wipe away the tears that had begun to drip down Elsa's face, but the blonde pushed her away.
"No. I can't do this, Anna," she repeated, louder. There was no way the red-head couldn't hear her. "Any of it." She took a breath, running her arm over her eyes. What she would give to not have to do this... "It hurts, Anna, can't you see? I… Ilove you. I can't… I can't be friends with you when I feel like this because it's always going to hurt. I'm so tired of hurting. I can't bare the thought of you never being mine. Of you finding someone else and leaving me for them. I'm so selfish and you made me better but it's never- it's never going to be enough."
There was complete silence between them as Elsa finished, and though she knew she should try, she couldn't bring herself to look at Anna.
Suddenly, a choked sob sounded from Anna as the full gravity of the statement hit her. And maybe it had been building for a while but Elsa hadn't made eye-contact for several minutes, adding one more step of distance that she never thought would be between them.
"But- Elsa, you're m-my best friend," Anna said, voice trembling and barely above a whisper. "I don't- I can't lose you. If- if you give me a chance, I'm sure I can fall in love with you-"
Elsa let out a little laugh that was more like a hiccup-turned-sob because it was all just so messed up. She could barely see Anna for the tears in her eyes. "Anna, I've felt like this for years and you never noticed. You never- never thought or believed in this until you found out. I can't- it hurts me being like this, and me being here will hurt you-" Anna made a small noise, but Elsa held up her hand to stop her. "No, it will because- because you're always going to feel bad that you don't reciprocate. And that's… that's okay. It's neither of our faults. But Anna, I can't be happy with you because it's not really with you…"
There was a choke from in front of her, and Elsa knew Anna was crying. She was breaking both their hearts. She didn't move out of the way fast enough to avoid the hug Anna forced on her, but it was different to all the others they had shared in the past. This one was full of the unspoken promises and potential that both girls knew they'd never have a chance to say.
"I'm so sorry, Elsa," she murmured, placing a small kiss on her best friend's cheek before slowly releasing her. Elsa didn't say anything as Anna gathered her clothes, tears still streaming silently down her face.
"You'll still always be my best friend." Elsa gave a shaky nod, wiping her face as she attempted a pathetic smile.
"Goodbye, Anna."
You'll still always be mine, too.
A/N: Thank you to everyone who supported me during this journey (and Elsa The Ice Biotic, who beta read part of it). I hope that you enjoyed it (but probably not). I just wanted to write a story that reflects life. Life doesn't always end happy. You don't always get that fairytale ending Elsa was dreaming of.
This was inspired, a little, by my own experiences. The first girl I liked ended up moving schools /because of that and I was ostracised by my remaining 'friends'. Sometimes bad things happen. And in this story, it happened to Elsa, unfortunately.
The ending is rather different to the first one I thought up however I felt it was necessary for Elsa to initiate the split. She had to be strong and pull away first (something I regret not doing). So, for me, there's an element of fantasy in here, too.
Another moral is that good people make mistakes, too. Both Anna and Elsa are at fault here. Doesn't make it any better, but I felt it was important to clarify.
Once again, thank you all. I'm actually doing an AMA on Reddit on the 23rd, so if you have any questions, you can ask me there or on my Tumbkr. This part was a long time coming (but it's almost as long as chapters 1-3 together, so I hope that makes it worth it).
Thank you xx