So I bumped up the rating on my story to M. It doesn't get to that point in this chapter, but it may in the future... Everyone seems to enjoy themselves a little steamy Puckleberry action, so I might have to give it a go. :) And to anyone who said something about the names that I've come up with so far, you're right. Cookies for everyone!
CHAPTER FOUR:
Always Keep Your Thumb Out
"Sweet baby Jesus, Broadway," Coach Sylvester said, the tiniest of grins turning up the corners of her mouth, "you punched him right in the throat."
"I couldn't reach his hideous face." Rachel replied imperiously.
Kurt, Mercedes, Brittany and Santana were looking at Rachel with smiles on their faces. Mike and Matt were laughing and cheering her on, much to the distress of Coach Tanaka- who was telling them vehemently to shut the hell up. Finn and Mr. Shue were looking at her like they'd never seen her before in their entire lives. And Puck was just staring.
Rachel took in Noah's injuries as she walked towards him. He was cradling his left arm against his side, it didn't appear to be broken, but one never could tell… From the way he was hunched over it looked like he'd at the very least cracked a few ribs, not to mention the busted lip, the black eye and the scrapes and bruises all over his face.
"Rachel that was the hottest fucking thing I have ever seen."
"Puck!" Mr. Shue reprimanded the football player.
Rachel smiled as she reached her injured- her injured what? He wasn't really her boyfriend at this point, although he had called her 'baby' in his attempt to placate her, surely that meant something… She smiled as she reached her injured Noah. That's right, hers, back off Cheerios. Then she punched him in the stomach.
"Dammit Rach! I think my ribs are broken!"
"Serves you right, you idiot!" Rachel ranted "What were you thinking? This is the most barbaric, brutish, stupid thing I have ever seen!"
Then she kissed him. Not the sweet, innocent, 'thank you, you're my hero' kind of kiss most of them were expecting of Rachel Berry either. It was a 'that was the hottest thing I've ever seen, if you don't let me rip off your clothes and take you right here I might die' kind of kiss that almost made Mercedes want to cover the camera lens. Almost. Rachel and Puck were plastered together so close you couldn't tell where one stopped and the other started. Her hands were tangled in his mohawk while he, mindless of his injuries, was trying to pull her up his body with the hand he had planted on her ass and was inching her shirt up with the other hand.
Mr. Shue and Coach Tanaka were yelling at the two to stop, still weary of wading into the sea of injured jocks. While Coach Sylvester had planted her foot on Karofsky's back, pinning him to the ground. "If you think you're getting away from this, worm, think again. Now quit squirming like a slutty cheerleader on prom night and take that throat punch like a man." She nodded to Santana and Brittany who turned away from their respective boyfriends to look at her after the 'slutty cheerleader' comment. "Girls."
Rachel and Puck only sprang apart when Finn let out a strangled gasp. "Rachel, do you have a tattoo?"
All the kids stood on the 50 yard line as Coach Sylvester explained the story to Principal Figgins, except Puck, who was busy trying to lift the back of Rachel's shirt to catch a glimpse of her tattoo. "Noah!" she whispered, batting his hand away, again. "Stop it!"
"But everyone else got to see." He whined. She glared at him. "Fine," he sighed "but I expect a long, exploratory viewing later." She glared at him again. God, she was hot. "Hey where'd you get those clothes?"
"Shh!" She shushed him.
"They're Santana's." Brittany smiled, from Rachel's other side.
"They're Rocky's now." Santana corrected and tightened her grip on Matt's hand. "I'd never be able to get the Puck out of them." Brittany giggled as Santana curled her lip in distaste.
Puck just rolled his eyes and hauled Rachel up against his uninjured side.
"And then," Coach Sylvester concluded her condensed version of the tale "after Broadway throat punched Nutsack, here, she attached herself to Mohawk and tried to suck his lungs out."
Principal Figgins pinched the bridge of his nose, as he often did when speaking to Sue Sylvester. "Thank you, Sue."
"No problemo, Figgy."
"What are you going to do?" Mr. Shue asked quietly.
"I'm not entirely sure." Figgins answered honestly, rubbing his temples. "I can't expel all of them…"
"Mr. Figgins," Rachel said stepping forward, "if I might suggest-" She yelped as she was jerked backwards. "Noah! What the hell?"
Puck, who couldn't manage to stop touching the brunette, had hooked his fingers into the belt loops of Rachel's new jeans and pulled her back into him. He hissed in pain as she jarred his ribs. "I think you've done enough today, killer."
"But I just wanted to-"
"Leave this one to the teachers Rach." Finn said, smiling at her. He placed a hand on her shoulder and winced in pain. "Ow, dammit! I think I broke my thumb."
Puck couldn't hold in his laughter as Rachel patted the tall boy's cheek condescendingly. "You always have to keep your thumb on the outside of your fist, Finn." She curled her tiny hand into a tiny fist and punched him hard in the arm. "Like that."
"Geez Rach, what the hell?"
"That was for fighting. You know better."
"But Puck-"
Rachel crossed her arms over her chest and stared down the quarterback. "And if Noah jumped off a bridge I suppose you would too?"
"Why would he jump off a bridge?" Finn asked, confused and completely missing the point of the question.
The diva quirked an eyebrow before turning her head to look at Noah.
Puck shrugged- he didn't say it, but an 'I told you so' was dancing on his tongue. Their silent conversation was cut off by three irate teachers.
"You can't do this!" Mr. Shue cried.
"What's going on?" Rachel asked Brittany and Mike, who had been watching the proceedings with interest.
"Figgins is trying to punish us by taking all of us out of our extracurricular activities." Mike answered, watching with fascination as Coach Sylvester got up in the principal's face.
"I didn't know someone's face could turn that colour." Finn observed. They all watched as the coach's face turned a violent shade of reddish-purple.
"Principal Figgins!" Rachel cried shrilly, interrupting the coach's threats, "Surely we can all come to some kind of agreement."
"Ms. Berry-" the Indian man sighed pinching the bridge of his nose.
Rachel nimbly escaped Puck's reaching hand, she never could think straight when he was touching her. And right now she needed to be on top of her game. "It's clear that everyone here needs to be reprimanded as the display put on today was both juvenile and shameful, I think though, that there must be a way around this current course of action. Because while we all know the football team is horrible,"
"Hey!" Mr. Shue cut Coach Tanaka off with a swift elbow to the side.
"Thank you Mr. Shue."
"Not a problem, Rachel, please continue."
She returned her gaze to Principal Figgins. "As I was saying the football team is dreadful and the hockey and baseball teams are even worse, but the Cheerios and glee both have a shot at winning prestigious awards for the school. And as Coach Sylvester so delicately pointed out the Cheerios are responsible for most of the extra funding that comes to McKinley, isn't that right?"
"Damn skippy." Coach Sylvester responded.
"I don't see what that has to do with anything." Principal Figgins commented.
"Well," Rachel said quietly, advancing on the man, "If you were to punish everyone who was responsible for this debacle today fairly you should look right at the root of the problem, shouldn't you? The truth of the matter is if you're going to punish the sports teams for throwing slushies, you'll have to punish the Cheerios as well, because I've got eyewitness accounts of every one of those girls perpetrating the same crime. And if you're going to pull them out of extracurriculars that would leave you with no Cheerios and no money. That would be quite unfortunate."
"Are you trying to blackmail me Ms. Berry?"
Rachel gasped dramatically. "Of course not, Principal Figgins, I'm merely laying out the facts. If I were trying to threaten you I would simply remind you that my dad is a lawyer and he would be appalled at the lack of concern about the bullying that goes on at McKinley."
"I-"
"Perhaps the students involved in today's incident should be put to work doing something beneficial for the school. Community volunteer work or some such thing, which could result in some wonderful press for the school."
"Fine." Figgins snapped after a few minutes of tense silence. "50 hours of volunteer work per student by the end of the term. Mandatory."
"What a wonderful idea, Mr. Figgins." Rachel smirked slightly. The principal glared at the brunette before turning on his heel and heading back into the school.
"What just happened?" Finn asked, cradling his right hand.
"Rachel just talked everyone out of trouble." Mr. Shue grinned.
"Oh. Thanks Rach."
The brunette shrugged "I'd like to go home now."
"I'll take you!" Brittany offered cheerfully.
"I got this, Brit." Puck interjected throwing his uninjured arm over her shoulders. "See you all tomorrow."
"Huh." Mr. Shue said quietly to himself as he watched the two leave. "I thought they'd broken up."
"Oh Mr. Shue," Kurt shook his head haughtily. "Poor, naive Mr. Shue. Always one step behind."