Sayrah was miserable. Today would have been her 18th birthday on Midgard. She would have been an official adult. Idunn and Bragi, of course, made a big deal about it, but they were supposed to. They were her parents. Sort-of.

She wondered what sort of celebration she would have had if she still lived there. Probably something amazing. She sighed, staring out over the stables from Bragi and Idunn's roof. It was a quiet, a good place to think about her forgotten life. Usually she loved living on Asgard, but lately memories of her old home poisoned her thoughts. She didn't know how much she missed it until then.

"Happy Birthday Say." A familiar voice murmured from behind her.

She smiled to herself. At least there were somebenefits to living here. "You remembered."

"Of course I remembered. What kind of friend would I be if I didn't?"

"Like all of my other friends. Besides, it not that special. Talk to me when I hit a thousand."

"It's special to you." Loki shifted to sit next to her. She rested her head on his shoulder, a gesture she had been doing since their youth. Her heart still skipped a beat when she did so, though.

"I got this for you." He handed her a small box.

"Are you kidding? You didn't have to."

"I did."

She opened it to reveal a bronze circlet with small horns on the front.

"Now you don't have to steal my helmet." he teased.

"It's amazing. I love it." She placed it gently over her hair. "Thank you." she said warmly, admiring her reflection in her gauntlet.

"What are you doing to celebrate?" he asked.

She shook her head. "I wouldn't even know what to do."

"Don't Midgardians usually have a celebratory feast?"

"I can't see Odin throwing me of all people a feast."

"Well you have to do something. No other Aesir has the opportunity to celebrate two birthdays. "

"I guess." She let the conversation die, falling into a contented silence.

"So, how was your day so far?" she ventured after awhile.

"Not bad. Thor hasn't utterly humiliated me by being alive today."

"Yet."

He smiled. "Yes, yet. And she talked to me today. Just before I got here."

Sayrah tensed. "Oh?"

"Yeah, I couldn't believe it either." he sighed. "Sigyn is just too perfect. You don't know how it feels to love someone so much without them noticing."

And with those fourteen words, her mood crashed into misery once again. "I think I can guess." She moved to stand. "I have to go. See you."

Loki looked at her, confused at her abruptness. "Um, okay then. I hope you have a good birthday."

"Me too."

"Heimdall, I need to visit Midgard." Sayrah stood determinedly before him, confident in her decision.

"Need?" his gaze was piercing, almost making her want to cower and forget the whole thing. He knew perfectly well why she wanted to go to Midgard.

"Wish. Please? For my birthday?" she pleaded.

"I hardly think that your intentions are focused on birthday wishes. Do you want to talk about this?"

"No! I just want to go to Midgard. Don't tell Idunn and Bragi where I've been though. Or Loki." she added after a second's hesitation.

Heimdall shook his head. "Sayrah…"

"Heimdall, I need to do this. For myself. No one else." She made a pleading face. "Please."

"Alright. Don't do anything you'll regret." He lifted his sword and opened a portal to Earth. "And be careful."

She hugged him gratefully and walked into the portal with as much dignity as she could muster.

"Everything looks the same." she thought, meandering through crowded villages and noisy merchants. Her heart swelled with longing. This particular village bore a close resemblance to her own. If she hadn't known better, she couldn't have seen the difference.

Sayrah scanned the crowd. It struck her as odd that she was so calm about her decision. Perhaps years of rejection and being ignored had finally worn down on her. She was ready to explore, find other options. "My life has been consumed by Loki ever since I came to Asgard. A mortal partner is just what I need now." she told herself, forcing down a nagging feeling in her gut. Lots of other Aesir did it. Some still do.

"Miss! You dropped this!" someone tapped her on the shoulder, startling her. She whirled around to face a boy her age with curly strawberry blondish hair.

"Oh, thank you." She reached for the thing he held out to her. It was the circlet. She frowned at it and stuffed it in her bag.

"I didn't think you'd want to lose it. It's very pretty. And expensive-looking. Whoever got it for you must care for you an awful lot."

"No. No, he doesn't care for me at all." she said bitterly. The boy blinked.

"Oh, so you have a betrothed?"

"Oh, no. No, never. I- no. No, I don't." she sputtered. He looked at her skeptically. "What about you?" she asked, desperate to turn the conversation away from herself.

"I am but a lowly stable boy, ma'am. I will never be betrothed." He hung his head sadly.

Sayrah's heart melted. "Do you want to… go somewhere with me?"

"You? But, aren't you a daughter of a chief official? Your dress is too fine to belong to a commoner."

Sayrah glanced down at her armor, magically adjusting it to something plainer. "Whatever do you mean?"

He shook his head slightly. "I could have sworn- ah, well. I would like to accompany you, fair one."

Her lips curled into a smile."He called me fair." "What is your name?"

"Ragnar."

"I am Sayrah."

"A blessing to meet you, Sayrah." He offered her his hand, which she gladly took in her own.

"It grows late. Would you like to stay the night at my home?"

She flushed. This was it. "Yes, I would, Ragnar."

He grinned and took her hand. "Come with me then."

She followed him to a small cottage on the outskirts of the village, near the stables. "I love horses." she commented as they passed by.

"Me too. They are my favorite animal. I love to watch them play." Ragnar agreed.

Her stomach twisted itself into a knot. Of course he did. And of course she chose someone similar to Loki. But she shrugged it off.

"Sit. Make yourself comfortable." Ragnar waved her to a bench covered in furs as he tended the fireplace.

Soon, a roaring blaze warmed them. Ragnar placed an arm around her shoulders and she snuggled closer, seeking comfort. "Sayrah, where do you hail from? I have been trying to figure it out all evening."

"Ah, far away. No where you've been." she lied.

"I see. What of your family? Will they miss you?"

"They don't know I've gone."

"Before you mentioned a "he". Who is he?"

"Someone I want to forget right now." She turned her face to his. "I don't want to talk about him."

"I understand." He placed a kiss on her forehead. "I enjoy your company Sayrah."

"And I yours." She reached to kiss him back, arms wrapped around his neck. His hands moved to her waist, gently massaging the small of her back. Anticipation and nervousness rose within her. He pressed harder into the kiss. Her fingers tangled in his hair, filled with longing. She pulled back for a moment. "Ragnar?"

"Mmm?"

"You seem pretty experienced for a stable boy."

He chuckled. "Do you want to see how experienced I truly am?"

"Oh yes."

"Sayrah. Wake now."

She shifted under the mound of blankets and furs, grumbling. Ragnar was still asleep, a content smile stretched across his face. Sayrah blinked the sleep from her eyes, drawing the blankets closer and looking around the room for the source of her alarm.

Heimdall stood quietly in the corner. "You must return to Asgard."

"I don't want to go back. I want to stay here." She looked softly at Ragnar. "With him."

"No, you don't. Not really. Is this really how you wanted your birthday to go? Is this really what your heart desires?" Heimdall asked, a sympathetic look on his face.

She paused. Did she? Did she really love this random mortal she spent the night with? No. Not really. She loved Loki. She shook her head and gasped, burying her face in her hands. "What have I done?" she cried. "This was a mistake."

Ragnar stirred next to her.

"I must go. But come back to Asgard. Some have started to worry." Heimdall vanished as Ragnar sat up.

He rubbed his eyes with his fists. "Up so soon?" he asked sleepily.

She looked away, ashamed and full of self-loathing for using him. "Yes. I must leave. My… family will miss me if I stay too long."

"Stay here. With me." he begged, watching her as she dressed.

"I'm sorry, Ragnar. I cannot stay. I shouldn't have stayed at all. I- I love someone else."

"He?"

"Yes."

"But you said that he did not care for you."

"Yes, but I care for him too much to be with anyone else." She pressed a lingering kiss to his lips. "Remember me."

His eyes closed slowly as she sent him back to sleep. She stood in the center of the room; head high, but heart heavy. "Heimdall, I'm ready." The air shimmered around her, whisking her away to Asgard.

"Sayrah! Where have you been!?" Idunn hugged her tightly as soon as she walked in the door. "I have been worried sick! And what in Valhalla are you wearing?"

"I'm fine. I was… visiting Midgard. I missed it." She shifted her clothing back to its normal state.

"Oh, darling." She pat Sayrah's shoulder, trying to decide what to say next. If… if you ever want to go there, you can just tell us. We'll understand."

"Yes, Idunn." she replied tautly.

Once in total privacy, she drew her knees to her chest and cried. Memories from last night fragmented her thoughts. Nostalgia and regret fought their way into her heart. "Why did I do it? I am so stupid. What will he think of me now? I can never go back. Stupid stupid stupid."

"You're back." A hand rested on her shoulder. "Where did you go?"

She looked up at Loki's worried face, scrambling for an excuse.

"Why are you crying?"

"No reason." she sniffed.

"Did something happen?"

"I went to Midgard last night. I slept with a mortal boy." she blurted before she could stop herself.

Loki's eyes widened. "What?" he whispered.

"I- I missed my old life. I missed being mortal."

"Why would you do something like that?"

Anger and hurt welled up inside her. Shouldn't he be more understanding? "Why not? Freya does it all the time. Why can't I?" she snapped.

"Because… because…" he struggled to find words, blushing furiously. Sayrah stared at him. Was he… jealous?

"You're not Freya, you're Sayrah."

"So?"

"So you can't, you shouldn't-you wouldn't go around like that. You're better than that."

"How would you know?" she stung. "It's not like you act any different around me." she added to herself.

He ran his fingers through his hair, frustrated. "I'm sorry. I know it's none of my business. I hope you got what you wanted." he said, his voice tight.

"But I didn't. I wanted you."

"See you around." He left her on the roof by herself.

Sayrah shut her eyes, mental kicking herself. She pulled the circlet from her bag and examined it intently. Slowly, carefully, she lifted it to her head, an unspoken promise to both Loki and herself that she would wait for him, no matter how long it took.