Chapter three ~ I'm not a monster
Edwards P.O.V
I could see what was happening around me but I couldn't hear anything, it was as if someone had muted the whole scene. Emmett was trying to hold me back and Rosalie was waving her hand around in my face, her mouth moving quickly. I turned in Emmett's arms and saw Jasper looking shocked and whiter than usual. It was hard trying to break free from Emmett's strong grasp, but I managed it eventually and after that no one could stop me from killing the girl. The first actual sound hit my ear drums like a deafening crash of thunder. It was a mixture of a girl's scream and the howl of a distressed wolf. Now that I was thinking about wolfs, I started to smell wolfs as well. The smell of wet dog was coming from behind me somewhere. I turned to see a wide-eyed group of men, along with a girl, who was comforting someone on the floor. That person was similar looking to Jacob Black.
I saw Carlisle and Esme now too. And Alice was standing in front of a beautiful birthday cake. The scene was far too familiar. I remembered it now. However I don't recall any of the pack being there. It wasn't so long ago really. What was it now? Was it a year or two maybe? When we had gathered at our house in Forks to celebrate the birthday of the love of my life, Bella Swan. I looked down at the floor. And there below me was a small girl. It wasn't Bella, it was another girl. She lay cold on the ground. She had a small bleeding wound on her finger, a paper cut. I remembered Jasper almost attacking Bella that night because she had given herself a paper cut. Had Jasper….. No. I knew the Truth. Emmett had been holding me back, trying to stop me from drinking this girl's blood. And he hadn't succeeded. She was dead.
Suddenly I understood how my brother had felt that night. I was so thirsty, more so than I ever had been. But there was a pain, an ache deep inside me as I looked at the girl's stony face. I couldn't quite understand it but I had felt something for the child when she had been living. I didn't remember meeting her, or even her name but I could feel the emptiness inside of me and I with that I cried my first real tear.
It was no ordinary tear, for a vampire's tear never is. It had been said that immortals cannot cry at all but that is just a myth. We can cry but only when we really need to. Things that would make a human cry would not affect us in that way. I had cried that night when Bella lay on the bed cold. And now I cried for another body, a body colder than my own. This dead weight was someone's daughter, was someone's friend, a sibling, an owner to a pet, a student belonging to a school. And I had taken her breathe; I had taken her life away.
I woke up, not remembering how I even fell asleep.