'You see, you want to kick a baby seal because if you kick an adult it will bite you and then you get gangrene, which isn't really a gang as it turns out which is confusing since the Purple Gang was rather big once, but anyways, once gangrene sets in it freezes, which then breaks and falls off leaving these meat chunks all across the tundra, and then a polar bear follows the meat chunks and the next thing you know your leg is being eaten while you sleep and you have to stab a bear with a spork and of course the animal rights groups start screaming at you for hurting the 'poor animal' despite him having eaten part of you, so you have to thrash them with your crutch and then the police are called and the K-9 unit growls 'cause he smells the bear, but you think he's growling at you, so you bite him and that's assaulting an officer and they take you to the station, but someone comments about weapons and then there's a cavity…'
Lwaxana rubbed her head tiredly as she finally envied her daughter's lesser telepathic abilities, it seemed to save her from the incessant mental babbling of the young human she had been introduced to earlier.
'And of course you're not going to marry Bubba, so you escape using a toothbrush a mop and a deck of girly playing cards, but the guards see you so you have to run, which is really hard to do with just one leg and crutches…'
With a strangled scream the elder Troi finally fled the lounge aboard the Enterprise, much to the amazement of the crew and its captain.
Watching the woman run, Xander smirked before turning back to the other guests at his table and blinked at their stares "Do I have something on my face?"
-
"Sooooo…. He's you," Xander asked as Picard nodded "And he's bald," another nod "And he's evil."
"Indeed, it seems the Romulan clone was unable to withstand the artificial aging process they put it through, the body is breaking down and his mental state is not at its best." Picard said as he sat across from the young man that had both complicated his life and saved him from the elder Miss Troi.
"Okay, first has he asked for any Sharks with fricken Lasers on their head?" Xander asked with a smirk as the captain simply stared at him for a minute. Finally caving Xander leaned back in the chair, "The problem seems to be the advanced cloaking field," Xander mused as the captain nodded tiredly.
"Yes, the cloaking field aboard the Scimitar is far superior to anything we have as yet seen." The long winded captain explained.
"Well, we seem to have a Land of the blind deal here," Xander said as the captain looked at him in confusion. "In the land of the blind, the one eyed man is king." Xander explained before rubbing the prosthetic eye he had received when he had first arrived. "if that's the case why don't you blind him?" he asked as the captain leaned forward.
"But how? To destroy his sensors we would need a pinpoint shot and we can't do that as long as they remain cloaked." Jean-luc said as the young man smiled.
"Well I was just considering seeding the area around us with stealth nukes and waiting for him to come to us but…" Xander trailed off at the horrified look on the captain's face "What? While I doubt they would actually hurt the big bad ship the Radiation would disperse in a uniform pattern until something cloaked ran through it, of course both of your sensors would be blind due to the radiation but you would expect it and could compensate…" Xander trailed off again as the captain hurriedly said good bye and rushed from the room, watching him go Xander simply shrugged and leaned back in his chair.
Hidden from the material world Q watched the exchange with interest. /Hmmm…. Sharks with lasers/ he thought as he let himself be pulled away by the galactic currents.