You Only Live Once

Chapter 4

Throughout dinner Allie could feel the eyes of several people on her and it unnerved her a bit. Why did they all feel the need to stare at her whilst she was eating? Sure, she was from England, but that didn't mean she ate any differently to anyone else here. The other thing that unnerved her slightly was the fact that they were not only staring at her, but at her and Sam. Their eyes drifted from one to the other and Allie felt slightly uncomfortable with the thought of what they were thinking. Kath was doing her best to keep Allie in the conversation but Allie really wanted was to drift into the background. Questions were thrown at her from all corners. 'Where are you from in England?' 'Why did you come to America?' 'What will you study after school?' 'Have you got a boyfriend?' That last one came from a girl about her age that sat near her. After dinner, Allie found out her name was Kim and she was extremely nice, but this question made Allie a little sad.

"No I broke up with Evan just before I came here, there was no point in us staying together with us being so far apart. We'd only been together for a few weeks though so it wasn't too bad for either of us," Allie said looking down at the table, blushing slightly.

"Oh, I'm so sorry I didn't realise!" Answered Kim seeming embarrassed and looking wearily at Sam. Curiously, Allie turned to her right to look at Sam, wondering what Kim was looking at. Sam had his hands clenched into fists and was staring moodily straight in front of him.

"Hey are you ok Sam?" Allie asked worriedly.

"I'm fine" answered Sam through gritted teeth.

"Are you sure? You look a little tense." That was an understatement. Sam seemed to be shaking with anger, but at what Allie wasn't sure. Looking around the table, she saw that most people were looking at him with sympathy but others like her were looking confused.

"It's ok Sam, you heard, they broke up, she hasn't got a boyfriend. Isn't that a good thing?" Allie could here Kim whispering to Sam. She obviously wasn't meant to hear anything though as they were clearly talking about her. But why? Why would Sam care if she had a boyfriend or not? He had just met her an hour before, there was no reason that Allie could think of to make him so angry. This thought made Allie freeze a little. Sam obviously had slight anger issues and that was not something she was ok with. Having witnessed one of her bests friends in primary school having to move into a foster home because her father had killed her mother; Allie knew what abusive relationships could lead to. Unconsciously she leaned away from Sam slightly. There was no way she would get involved with something like that. Sure, she would try and help him and be his friend, but any romantic feelings she may have had would have to be nipped in the bud. She couldn't let herself get hurt.

From the corner of her eye she saw the affect her actions had had on Sam. Almost immediately his face changed from rage to complete and utter sadness. The look on his face nearly broke her heart, confusing Allie. Her feelings for him should not be this intense after just meeting him!

Shortly after this little episode, the food on the table had all been eaten and slowly people were drifting home. Allie herself was starting to feel tired and decided she wanted to walk the long way home, along the beach. So after thanking Kath and saying Goodbye to everyone that were still there, Allie left and started walking towards the beach. The beach at this time was beautiful, with the sun setting and the waves crashing against the sand. She found herself to be the only person on the beach and for that she was grateful because she had a lot to think about and didn't want to be interrupted.

To say Allie was annoyed with herself would be an understatement. She was furious with herself for the feelings she was having towards this Sam man but she was also furious with herself for the way she had reacted when he got angry. She knew not everyman would be like Danielle's Dad, but still she was overly cautious. Also, the look on his face, like he knew what she was thinking and was heartbroken by it, made her feel extremely guilty. Allie knew her Auntie would never invite someone to her home if she thought they were dangerous, and Allie could tell from the way they chatted during dinner that her aunt trusted the man a lot. It seemed to her that her aunt admired him, but she wasn't sure about that.

Pausing for a second, Allie heard someone approaching behind. Turning around, Allie was surprised to see Kath walking towards her motioning for them to have a seat on the logs that were place in a circle around a burnt out fire.

"I wondered why you left so quickly. Is it about Sam?" Started Kath.

"What? Why in the world would it be about Sam? I don't even know him!"

"Oh come on, Hun. I saw the looks you were giving each other; it's obvious you like each other. Don't try and tell me any different because I'll know it's a lie!"

Knowing she was facing a losing battle, Allie decided not to reply and instead turned her head to stare into the woods. Thoughts raced through her mind. If Kath had saw the looks she had been sneaking at Sam, does that mean he had too? God, he was probably laughing at her. Little Allie, thinking she was good enough for a man like him. The thoughts made her depressed though and she tried her hardest to tune them out and think of something else.

"Come on, Allie. You can't just shut me out, and you can't just deny the feelings you're having for Sam. I know it didn't seem like it at the end of dinner, but Sam is a good man, he has helped me out many times. I know he would be good for you."

After chatting with Kath a little while longer, Allie decided it was time to get home and go to bed. Getting into bed, she reflected on the whole day and she made a pact with herself that she wouldn't judge Sam on his behaviour today. If Kath said he was a good man, then Allie believed him and would give him a chance. Thinking this, Allie laughed to herself. As if Sam would want anything to do with her as anything more than a friend. Even Evan, who Allie had been with for only two weeks couldn't wait to get rid of her in the end. Something about her being 'prudish' and 'not good enough for someone like him'. Tears welled up in her eyes thinking about that day. She had been holding her emotions in since then but now she couldn't seem to stop them. She hadn't told anyone what Evan had said to her because she didn't want to sound stupid and childish. Her and Evan had not went any further than kissing and she knew she didn't want anything more to happen with him. Maybe Evan was right, maybe she was just a prude, alright to tease but not willing to put out when it came down to it. Evan had made it quite clear that that was all he thought she was. Thinking back on the two weeks they had been 'together', Allie couldn't help but be angry with herself once again. Why did she even agree to go out with him in the first place? She certainly didn't fancy him and didn't find him all that attractive. She knew the answer though. It was because he was the only boy that had ever asked her out and she was so excited thinking that someone liked her. Crying silently, Allie soon drifted to sleep, only to wake up the next morning with red, puffy eyes.