BHTs, beware! Switchboard's on the rampage intent on starting the ultimate jihad (holy war), Beverly Hills style. Will she get the upper hand? Not if Tara can help it...
-a440
Chapter 4: Belle P.I.
Like Aladdin on his flying carpet, Switchboard rode her flying camera probe high in the sky above the Beverly Hills skyline, with one planned destination in mind, ready to drive the nail in the upcoming coffin of life for Chester. But like all troublemakers, the gossip freak was so hell bent on her unholy crusade that she didn't know someone else was below her. Below her and tailing her.
Tara Belle.
Since noticing Switchboard's handwriting on the card that came with the flowers she got, the belle had been suspicious of some strange connection, a strange happening-why would Switchboard send her flowers in Chester's name, let alone forge a card along with his signigture? And right now, she was driving her purple car on Rodeo Drive and while waiting at a red light, examined the card, her eyes narrowing.
"I do declare," she muttered, "I believe that is pert near absolute forgery that Switchboard did, Why'd she do such a criminal thing, just to give me flowers? And why in Chester's name? It's weaving a tangled web, make no mistake."
Just as the light changed to green, the Southerner chanced to glance up-and saw Switchboard on her probe, skyward and streaking across the said sky, to who knows where.
"Heavens to Appomattox," said Tara, "Switchboard, for some reason, is a-fixin' to take off with that probe like a bat out from you know where-and I believe the time's come to track her to wherever she's a-fixin' to do."
As soon as she could, the Southerner discreetly followed the gossip freak and her probe at a safe distance, up and down streets, until the trail led to the Belle Mansion, where Tara and her family lived.
"My word," said the belle, "whyever would Switchboard be doing at my house? Strange indeed."
Jumping from her car and heading for the trees near the mansion, Tara whipped out two items-her cell phone which had a camera eye with video recording capabliity and her most treasured heirloom possession-a brass spyglass that her uncle had at the time of The War Between The States. Now given the fact the belle was good at climbing trees, she had the advantage when it came to mounting the neareast tree close to the mansion. Once upon the strongest branch, well hidden by the other branches and leaves, the Southerner had a fine view of the mansion-along with Switchboard, and her probe, which had stopped and was hovering near one of the front windows; aiming her spyglass along with her cell phone, its vidcam recording now, and what came into her sights caused Tara to gasp, her face turning to a deep pomegranite color.
And no wonder. For there was the gossip freak, using a skeleton key (a universal key that could open any lock) on a control box mounted in the wall near one of the windows, then upon opening the box, used a bobby pin to bypass the alarm before opening the window, and jumped into what was no doubt Tara's bedroom; there, Switchboard went for a frilly dressing table, selected one of the ornate crystalline perfume bottles, pulled out from her pocket a long, fancy satin shawl, sprayed the said shawl with the perfume (at which point, Tara got more livid), set down the bottle, wrapped the shawl in a package, climbed out and resealed the window, then reset the alarm before taking off for the skies again, in the direction the belle knew was in the direction of The Teenclub.
Right after Switchboard's departure, the Southerner switched off the vid cam and placed that and the spyglass back in her pockets, jumped down from the tree, and ran back to her car, and resumed the tailing of the gossip freak, again, at a discreet distance; along the way however, the belle was enraged, fuming with a look on her face that could peel paint, bunching up her fist while she blurted out, "Well I do declare! I've seen many scandalous and disgraceful transgressions, but...what I just saw is THE most, insensitive, inexcusable, lowdown, nowhere bound narrow minded thing I saw, since I was born! Forging and weaving a tangled web is bad enough, but tresspassing, breaking, entering and stealing, not to mention wasting my $70,000 perfume, I mean using THAT on a shawl-it's-it's-it's-it's UNFORGIVABLE! Only why in the name of Rhett Butler would Switchboard do such a despicable thing?! First the flowers, the forged card and the tangled web weaving, now THAT-what in the dickens is Switchboard trying to do?!"
Nonetheless, Tara trailed the gossip freak, and as expected, the quarry was heading for The Teenclub-in fact, right down to The Teenclub ski slopes; realizing it would take time for Switchboard to change for the cold climate there, the belle headed there ahead of Switchboard where she would change as well.
As luck would have it, the Southerner reached the slopes ahead of the goosip freak, in her cold winter wear, and as before, climbed up a tree, where concealed by the snow covered branches, readied her spyglass and cell phone vid cam-just before Switchboard, also in cold climate wear, came in her sights, again, riding her probe, before coming to a stop, then hovered behind a bank of trees near the ski path and waited.
"Now why would she be pert near coming to the ski slopes for after all that?" wondered Tara, before she started her vid cam.
Thankfully for the belle, that question was answered when a second later, Chester came down the slope in his skis, and at that point, the Southerner remembered that he had a date with Jillian; no doubt he was referring to a ski date-only what was the connection with that and Switchboard's doings? Again, that question was answered when the gossip freak tossed out to Chester on the sly, the package with the shawl in it, which landed near his feet.
"Now where'd that come from?" mused the genius. "Must've been a well wisher." Carefully unwrapping the package, Chester found the shawl and puzzled he muttered, "Looks good on Jillian-I'll give to her as a gift."
No sooner had he said that, Jillian arrived on the scene and said, "I tell you what, you know the best ski routes on the slopes." Then seeing the shawl, she added, "Where'd you get that? Is that for me?"
Stammering, the genius replied, "Why...sure, it's a gift exclusively for you."
Taking the shawl and wrapping it 'round her neck, the Thorndyke sibling gushed, "It's great! It fits me to a tee!" Then after she kissed her genius beau, she added, "Thank you, Chester."
From there, the duo pressed on, but when they were 15 yards to the next downhill slope, Jillian sniffed something, frowned and then glowered before coming to a stop ahead of Chester who also stopped; after that, the Thorndyke sibling unwrapped the shawl and thrust it back to the surprised genius, saying hotly, "Here, take it back, you just wrapped it around the wrong girl!"
"I don't follow you," said a surpised Chester, who after getting kudos and a kiss would suddenly get a lot of flak.
"Don't play coy with me, Chester Neil McTech," charged the Thorndyke sibling, "I recognize the perfume-it's Tara's!"
"Tara's?!" said the surprised genius, who now sniffed the shawl and then added, "I wondered what that was coming from that shawl...listen, Jillian, it's not what you think! I swear I got the shawl form a package some well wisher tossed out to me! How was I to know it was Tara?! For that matter, why would she give me such a gift?"
"Why would she, indeed?" shot back Jillian.
"All I know is that what we've got here," stated Chester, "Jillian Hyacinth Thorndyke III, is a case of circumstancial evidence and I say, I didn't have anything to do with that shawl and no doubt, neither did Tara!"
"Oh, so you're trying to come up with a lame alibi, huh?" charged the Thorndyke sibling, "Well, it won't work! Not in my book anyhoo, so after today, THAT is the last time I EVER date you! Put simply, to quote The Hollies, WE'RE THROUGH!"
And after making a moist raspberry, Jillian turned on her skis and skied fast an far from a jilted Chester who called out, "Stop! Jillian, come back! You're making a big mistake, mark my words!" Then finally, he yelled out in frustration, "ALL RIGHT! I MADE YOU, AND I CAN BREAK YOU!"
From there, the now dejected genius could only stand with the shawl in one hand. First the roses, and now a shawl with Tara's perfume on it. Was it yet another prank by Switchboard, or one of Tara's doings? But then Tara would never do such a thing-or would she? Right now, however, poor Chester was shattered over losing Jillian to ponder on the mystery now...all he could do was ski down slow to the nearest lodge, troubled and all alone...
From her vantage point, Switchboard, who had been recording the whole thing, hit the stop button and muttered, "Mission accomplished," then activated controls and manned her joystick, taking off on her probe for who knows where...
Little did Switchboard, Chester and Jillian know was that all that had also been seen in Tara's sights as well; upon putting away her spyglass, switching off her cell phone vid cam and jumping down from the tree she had hid in, her eyes blazing with flame, her face, and was burning up before she sank in the snow. But then, she climbed out from the hole and went berserk, shaking her fists, stomping in the snow and shouting, "SO THAT'S IT! NO WONDER SWITCHBOARD WAS A-FIXIN' TO DO ALL THOSE HORRID CRIMES-FORGING CHESTER'S HANDWRITING AND SIGNITURE, SENDING FLOWERS TO ME IN HIS NAME, BREAKING AND ENTERING, STEALING AND WASTING MY $70,000 PERFUME ON A SHAWL! AND ALL FOR WHAT?! JUST TO BREAK UP POOR CHESTER AND JILLIAN! AND WHAT FOR?! GRRRRRR! I'LL PERT NEAR WRAP MY DELICATE SOUTHERN FINGERS 'ROUND THAT YANKEE CARPETBAGGER SWITCHBOARD'S NECK AND LYNCH HER, THEN TAR AND FEATHER HER BEFORE I COOK HER GOOSE-SOUTHERN STYLE, NO LESS!" Then suddenly calming down, she added, "But no...first, I've GOT to pert near reconcile Chester and Jillian post haste and explain to them the truth! THEN , time for Southern justice!"
And on that note, the Southerner hightailed it as fast as she could, in the direction of The Teenclub. Now that she had known the worst, she was inspired by a new motivation...
Deep within the dance club section of The Teenclub, everyone was geting dow and getting with it when it came to the rocking sounds of Thomas "Gig" Josephson and Therese "Jett" Lyman; right after they finished, and the BHTs assembled cheered, did Chester run up to the mike and announce, "Sorry for the interruption, but I've got an important annoucement to make."
"Hey, it's the soon to be birthday boy," said Jett. "Well, lay it on us."
Approaching the mike, in a mood that suggested that he had been one of the mice chosen to bell the cat, the genius spoke with, "All of you, listen to me...it's a rather tender subject to relate to you, but I'll make it quick-due to the fact that me and Jillian broke up over some misunderstanding, there'll be no birthday party for me next week so please understand. Don't try to talk me out from it, but to quote Bruce Hornsby & The Range, it's just the way it is. Thanks for your kindness, but..."
With the rest of his voice lost in a sob, the genius ran offstage as the bewildered crowd protested, Lark saying, "Oh, Chester, you can't mean that!"
"You and Jillian broke up?!" said Troy. "What a bummer!"
"Does that mean you and Jillian won't be hang tenning on the pipeline of love?" asked Brad Coleman, aka Radley.
"What happened between you and Jillian?" asked Nikki.
"Wait, Ches!" called Gig. "Can't you confide in your friends?"
"Like, wow, you and Jillian broke up?" said Jett. "Like, no way!"
"How did that happen?" asked Bianca.
"That sucks," said Wilshire.
"Why'd you break up?" asked Blaze.
"Now that is the best news I heard all day," said Pierce.
In the midst of all the confusion, Chester ran and ran and didn't stop running till he reached the fringe of The Teenclub's polo grounds where he collapsed among the tall grass and was crying for the first time. Indeed, the genius remebered the last time he did cry; it was when he learned from his uncle Angus McTech who had raised the genius since his parents died, that had told him the truth of the deaths of Chester's said parents, who on a trip to Ireland, chanced through bad fate had a run in with IRA who mistook them as members of another group and shot them.
Now, among the grasses, luckless hopeless and now Jillianless, the genius, never having felt so lost, was weeping away, pondering his fate, and almost wishing he were dead-
-that is, until Tara, back in her everyday dress, pearls, pearldrop earrings, et al, ran up and said, "There, there, Chester; I saw the whole thing-don't fret, I'll fix all up for you and Jillian."
Looking up, Chester glowered at the belle and charged hotly, "Go away, Tara! You've caused your share of trouble with me and Jillian by giving me your perfumed shawl!"
Unmarred by the genius' sudden vehemence, the Southerner stated, "Fiddle-de-de-Switchboard's the one that should be earmarked for trial; I saw her break into my mansion bedroom and steal and waste my $70,000 perfume on that shawl, wrapped it up and rode on her surveillance probe to the ski slopes before tossing it out to you as the so called 'well wisher', and no doubt used her probe camera to record the breakup between you and Jillian-and I've got proof."
Like a bolt from the black, it sudenly occurred to Chester that a lot of the facts were coming together, even now as he said, "Now I get it...the flowers, the card, and now what you just told me...if you're right...Switchboard was doing all that just to break me and Jillian up and record all that as well!" Getting up, he added, "So that's it!"
At the same moment, trudging through The Teenclub forest, weeping just like Chester, Jillian was staring at a photo of her and the genius when she wept, "That relationship's GOT to go..." Tearing the photo in half and jamming the halves in her pockets, she added, "I never want to see that genius womanizer as long as I live-nor hear his voice again-OR ELSE!"
Suddenly, the Thorndyke did hear someone, only it wasn't Chester-it was Switchboard. And she was giggling, in a way that triggered Jillian's suspicions; anything that had to do with the gossip freak usually meant some kind of tomfoolery, gossip or worse.
"I recognize that giggle," mutered the Thorndyke sibling, who heard the giggle come from some forested bushes; heading to a nearby tree (like Tara, Jillian was also good at climbing trees), and climbed it to one of the strong branches, hidden within the foilage in a Y shaped branch-and that was when Jillian saw something startling.
For there in a clearing hidden by the trees and bushes, was Switchboard and her surveillance probe, her back to the tree with the Thorndyke sibling hidden in it, and looking over her shoulder, Jillian could see that the gossip freak was staring at the built in LED screen of her probe remote controller, and at that point, the Thorndyke sibling pulled a Tara by whipping out a pair of binoculars and her cell phone which also had a vid cam, which was now recording the scene...and what she saw next would be a shock. For on the screen, was a video shot of Chester kissing Tara in the pool room; at first, Jillian flared with hate at that, but then the flare suddenly faded when the next scene showed Chester saying, "Like I said, Tara's the girl for me." And Jillian who had been with the genius knew that wasn't what he had said that, but, "Like I said, Tara's OK as a friend, but I can see you're the girl for me." Which meant that Switchboard had edited his sentence during recording so it would sound like he had said, "Like I said, Tara's the girl for me." Suddenly, it became apparent to the Thorndyke sibling was that the gossip freak was setting the genius up on false fabricated evidence!
The real clincher came in the next scene when Jillian suspected the shawl had Tara's perfume on it, gave it back to Chester, did her tirade and took off before Switchboard giggled at all that, then stopped the tape and rewound it before ejecting it from the side slot in the controller and sliding it in a black case that was emblazoned in white: PROPERTY OF BRENDA ANDES.
"FInished at last," said the gossip freak. "Now to wait till his birthday comes and I'll display the goods for all the other Teenclub members to see. After that, Chester will wish he had taken a research grant in Toronto, once he's disgraced and broke up over losing Jillian-he'll definitely wish he had never uninvited me to his birthday now, because when anyone messes with a gossip queen like me, they mess with the bull-and then they get the horns! I knew Jillian would fall for it when I dropped that shawl package and think it was from Tara, especially since I sprayed her perfume on it. Now I can truly say gossip justice is done!"
After a few more giggles, Switchboard put the tape in her pocket, mounted the probe and jetted off in the sky en route to home-before Jillian switched off her cell vid cam, fuming at her latest discovery.
"That fink!" she hissed. "That Switchboard WAS there with her probe and taping me and Chester, but mostly Chester, collecting up false yet incriminating evidence to frame him! Editing stuff to make it look like he said something which he didn't and then trying to make it look like he was dropping me for Tara and worse still, trying to break me and Chester apart! Then he WAS telling me the truth, saying Tara didn'tgive him that shawl, nor spray perfume on it! It was SWITCHBOARD! I'll rip off that gossip diva's pony tail!" Then she calmed down, crying a little and added, "So help me, Chester, I could kick myself for jumping to conclusions, doubting you, and...!"
Suddenly, Jillian pulled out from her pockets, the halves of the ripped photo of her and the genius, saying "I've got to tape that back together," before taping them back with scotch tape, then jumped from the tree, and ran, calling out, "Chester...!"
"Anyhow," said Tara, who produced her cell phone, "here's the evidence, Exhibit A."
At that moment, Jillian ran up, and grabbed Chester in a big hug and smooching the surprised genius, and saying, "Chester, I am so sorry for doubing you! Forgive me, please! I found out it was Switchboard behind all the crazy shenanigans in an effort to break us up!"
"Suddenly," said Chester, "I feel like my heart was just patched up."
Jumping and clapping, the Southerner chirped, "Yay! That means you two're back together again like a pair of Louisiana lovebirds!"
"Yup," replied the Thorndyke sibling, who from there let go of the genius and composed herself, then produced her cell phone adding, "And I've got the proof right on my cell, Exhibit B."
"So have I," said the belle.
Holding up a hand, Chester said cautiously, "Wait-I know a hiding place that not even Switchboard knows of." Then getting in a huddle with the girls, he added, "We'll meet there to hold a meeting as what to do next...rendezvous time will be at 7:00 P.M..." After that, the genius whispered to Tara and Jillian the directions and more...
So Switchboard succeeded with her dastardly deed in breaking up Chester and Jillian-but thankfully not for long; now that the genius and the Thorndyke sibling patched it all up and got reunited (or is that reswoonited?), they and Tara now got to make plans to turn the tide against Switchboard, bring her to justice and make things right again in the name of Teenclub law and order, or words to that effect.
-a440.
Next time, check out Chapter 5: Chester & Co. Strike Back