A/N: Any readers who have read Denial Is My Friend, before reading this fic. Will know that Hugo comes out and kisses Jack at their graduation. They are currently about to start fifth year, so we have 5th, 6th and 7th year to get through. I won't drag out all three years. So there will be some big time skips. Okay – cool. Most action will happen in 7th Year.
Chapter Four
Hugo was more confused than ever. It was now the summer holidays and he'd been home for a couple of weeks. By now either Jack would come stay at his, or he would go stay at Jack's – no such arrangement has been made.
He wrote to Jack this morning apologising and requesting he come stay, that he missed him and wanted his best friend back.
Later that evening he was pleased to receive a reply, stating he had been busy, but he wasn't purposely ignoring Hugo and that he would love to come stay for a week.
His mum had asked him if he wanted a bed for Jack set up in the guest room or in his room and he froze. He had no idea what he wanted – he didn't think he could have Jack sleeping in his room, not until he sorted his feeling out. But then to have him in another room felt weird – besides he shared a dorm with him, he'd have to get used to Jack sleeping next to him. No not next to him – Merlin that conjured some images. No not next to him, in the same room as him.
His mum shook her head and said she'd do what she normally does and set the bed up in Hugo's room.
Jack arrived just before lunch the next day and Hugo was so happy to see him. He pulled him into a hug, "Glad you're here" he mumbled.
Jack laughed, he was happy to be getting a hug, but he knew that Hugo was confused and it was unfair of Hugo to keep touching him and hugging him.
Jack wiggled out of Hugo's arms, "It's good to see you too. So what do you want to do?" he asked.
Hugo smiled, "I managed to convince mum and dad to try bowling. Rose is at Al and Scorpius', probably snogging Scorpius' brains out. So it's just the four of us. Think it will be funny seeing dad bowling"
Jack laughed and they took his stuff up to Hugo's room and waited to be called.
Hugo's mum was adamant that they were going to drive to the bowling complex. Ron, Hugo's dad complained but his mum said that if they were having a muggle day – then they were to do it all the muggle way.
Thankfully Hermione drove, Jack had witnessed Ron's driving and it wasn't good – he shouldn't have passed his test.
Then whilst stuck in traffic Jack and Hugo's family had the most awkward conversation ever.
Hermione turned off the radio and said that they should all talk and get to know each other better. All three men groaned and Ron got a slap to the arm and a 'behave' – for his troubles.
"So Jack how's school? Looking forward to OWL's?" Hermione asked.
Ron snorted and mumbled, "Who in their right mind likes OWLs, freak" she glared at him.
Hugo didn't seem fazed and to be honest nor was Jack, he had gotten used to Hugo's parents and their bickering. They clearly loved each other, but they couldn't go a day without bickering.
"Um School's great I guess. OWL's are important, so I will try my best – but I'm not really looking forward to the gruelling schedule" he answered.
Hugo added, "Yeah they suck. Eating into my free time – all that extra homework" Ron agreed and Hermione lectured the boys on being prepared for exams well in advance.
Then it turned even more awkward when Ron asked, "So any lovely ladies caught your eye Jack?"
And before he could answer Hugo answered for him, not even thinking,
"Dad! Blimey you're embarrassing. Besides didn't I tell you Jack is gay" and Ron spluttered and Jack sunk lower in his seat.
Hermione furrowed her brows, "No honey you didn't tell us that"
Hugo shrugged, "isn't a problem is it?" he asked
Both answered "No of course not"
And Hermione elaborated, "Why would it be? Just thought you'd mention it, that was all"
Then Jack really wanted to disappear when Ron re-worded his question to, "So any lovely men caught your eye?"
"Dad! Fucking hell" Hugo shouted.
Hugo got a telling off for swearing and Ron got a telling off for winding up the boys. Jack didn't answer and looked out the window, all the way to the bowling complex.
They paid and put on their awful bowing shoes – Hermione was trying to explain to Ron what he needed to do.
Hugo moved closer to Jack on the bench, "Hey sorry about my dad. He's a nosy git. Sorry if he made you feel uncomfortable" and he gave Jack the sweetest smile.
How he wanted to trace Hugo's lips with his tongue. He had hoped the two weeks without contact with Hugo, would allow him some breathing space from his suffocating crush – but nope, seeing him again- his feeling hit him with extra force.
"It's okay, I'm sure my parents would ask you the same, given the chance. It was a little uncomfortable, but only because they weren't aware I was gay. Do you think you mum wants to move me into the guest room now?"
Hugo frowned, "No. Why would she? Just because you're gay Jack doesn't mean we're going to get up to anything. Parents may think that, but they are stupid" and he turned to add his name on the screen.
Hugo sighed, Right. A nice not so subtle reminder from Hugo. They are not going to be getting up to anything.
The truth was he had spent the last two weeks talking and meeting up with Aaron from the year above, just as friends. Aaron offered advice, as he was also gay and could help Jack with any questions he had.
Then at the end of the two weeks Aaron asked him out and he said no, he wasn't ready for a gay relationship. But Aaron told him to think about it some more. Well now he was. Hugo clearly wasn't interested, even if he was, he hadn't even admitted it to himself – let alone to Jack.
Then if by some miracle Hugo declares he's gay – doesn't mean he will be interested in Jack. He couldn't put his love life on hold forever, hoping that Hugo would fall for him. Hugo had hurt him sleeping with Michelle and he wasn't prepared for more hurt – so maybe he would give Aaron a chance.
Hugo frowned at Jack – he seemed distracted. Hugo watched his face intently, he had missed those darn adorable dimples. Maybe I like boys and girls? I dunno. Just Jack is such an attractive person – but I'm not attracted to any other boys. Hugo sighed and decided he might talk to his Uncle Harry or Draco.
They played a couple of games, Ron lost both games. Hermione even put up the barriers along the side, but he was still rubbish. Then they ate a late lunch at the complex and drove home.
The next few days were spent laughing, joking and enjoying each other's company as best friends do. It was the sixth night and Jack was going home tomorrow. Hermione had cooked a special meal and invited Uncle Harry, Draco and the boys.
Hugo was going to try and speak with Uncle Harry or Draco tonight, if he could find a convenient time.
The kids were in the garden and the adults in the house.
Ron looked at Harry and Draco, "So Hugo confessed something today"
Harry smiled, but waited just in case Ron was referring to something else. He was sure Ron would be a bit more shocked if Hugo had actually confessed he was gay.
"He told us that Jack was gay. Well we didn't see that coming" he told them.
Draco laughed and said he did.
"You're just saying that, we can't prove that you thought that" Harry teased him.
Draco shrugged, "I just know, only for about a year. Just the way he acts around H-. Um around his house mates" Draco finished lamely at a quizzical look from Ron and an elbow in the ribs from Harry.
Ron frowned, "How do you know how he acts around his house mates? Not like you camp out in Gryffindor Draco" Ron retorted. Completely oblivious to Draco's obvious cover up.
Hermione smiled at Harry and Draco, she had a sneaky suspicion about her son's preference. She wanted Hugo to figure it out for himself, but poor Jack. It was clear to anyone who actually evaluated the way Hugo and Jack acted – it was more than best friends for Jack.
Just then Al came in, "Can't stick it out there. Dad can I call Natalie see if she wants to come over?"
Harry laughed, "It's not my house Al, and you're asking the wrong person"
Al huffed, "Uncle Ron…" he said in a sickly sweet voice, "...Can I invite Natalie over. It's awful out there. Bloody Scorpius and Rose making me want to hurl, being all loved up and shit."
Draco laughed, Al had such a great way with words – prat.
"Then Jack sulking about something and Hugo seems distracted too. Those two need to sort it out." Al was obviously referring to their 'relationship' but Ron assumed he meant both boys being distracted.
"Sure, but make sure you invite Natalie's parents too, might as well make a night of it. BBQs are better with more people" he told Al.
"Ah what – no way am I inviting Neville. How am I meant to kiss Nat with him lurking around" he whined.
"Well its invite them all, or none of them" Ron told the sulking teenager.
He grumbled, "Fine. Bloody parents" and Harry swore he heard Al say "Cock blocks" but wasn't sure, but from Draco's smile, he was sure that was what Al had said.
Later that night everyone was split into groups and Harry and Draco were sat alone, at a picnic bench laughing and messing around.
Hugo excused himself from watching Jack and his dad play chess, he wondered over to Harry and Draco. He cleared his throat, "Um can I speak with you two?"
Harry said of course he could and Hugo sat opposite them on the picnic bench. Hugo was glad that the picnic bench was sat away from the rest of the family and that he had managed to get them alone.
"So what do you want to talk about?" Harry asked kindly, even though he could probably guess. Hugo had asked to speak with him and Draco after all.
Hugo looked around and Draco sighed and cast a privacy spell, which muffled their voices.
"There, you can talk freely no one will hear" Draco told him and Hugo seemed to relax somewhat.
He fidgeted and Harry thought he looked a lot like Ron when he was nervous, Hugo blushed and then blurted.
"How do you know you're gay?" and he looked at the rough wood of the table.
Harry looked at Draco, and Draco smirked. Harry stomped on his foot, warning him not to be bloody graphic.
Harry started, "Well I didn't know not really. I wasn't really interested in girls at school and didn't have my first kiss or lose my virginity until quite late. I guess I just assumed it was because I was kinda busy, but looking back, it was probably because I wasn't really attracted to women"
Hugo blushed but carried on, he might as well make the most of the opportunity, "But you married Ginny and um, um …"
"Slept with her" Harry finished for him.
"Yeah – you must have slept with her at least three times, as she was pregnant three times and well you must have been attracted to her" He felt bad for mentioning Ginny, even though she had been dead for some time.
"Hugo, it's not as simple as, your gay and your straight that's it. Yes I was attracted to Ginny, but I think that was a more romantic sense – not like Draco can't be romantic – but I liked the idea of marriage, kids, house – you know, being normal. I was attracted to her of course. But until I was with Draco, I never realised how different it could be"
Draco squeezed Harry's hand at his words.
Hugo frowned, "I still don't get it, how so? I mean you were happy with Ginny."
Harry nodded, "Yes I was very happy with Ginny. But I didn't know any different. Being in a relationship with Draco, is hundred times more explosive, in the good way. More love, more passion and more intense happy moments. Like Ginny was enough and I thought that was what love was. But Draco opened my eyes to true love – true emotion and feelings. Ginny was like a sparkler and Draco was the full on firework. You understand what I'm trying to say? Don't settle just because it's normal."
Harry felt Draco's breath against his ear and a low seductive voice, "My Potter you are talking your way into a good seeing to later" and he pulled back, kissed Harry's cheek and returned his attention to Hugo.
Draco leaned in and whispered something to Harry and Harry smiled. Hugo didn't know what was said, but they looked so happy.
Harry tried not to blush at Draco's words.
Draco smiled kindly at Hugo, "Not knowing where we fit in can be a really difficult thing to handle. It knocks your confidence, can make you question your own self-worth and at worst make you see yourselves as something abnormal. The truth is, all of us, at some point question where we belong, and the answer to this can be difficult if you don't know where to start. For you, you have made a great decision to take a step forward and ask, and for this you should commend yourself." Draco told the blushing boy.
Hugo smiled, "Thanks Draco. I'm not saying I'm gay – I just don't know, it's all very confusing. I don't know who else to talk to. I know Jack's gay and I can talk to him, but he seems to be annoyed at me for something and well I don't want to talk with him about it. Not yet anyway."
Harry looked at Hugo, "So how did you feel when you found out Jack was gay? Because you know you're not the first person to question their sexuality."
Hugo played with his hands, "I dunno. I felt so many confusing things. I was angry he didn't tell me and then I felt a strange wave of. . …. Jealousy."
He paused and traced patterns with his fingers over the wood.
"I was scared that he would find someone and that I would lose him. I mean lose him as a best friend and I spend all my time with him and I don't like the idea of sharing him"
Draco turned his head away and buried it against Harry shoulder, laughing slightly. He waited and then turned back around.
"Sorry Hugo. But you do realise how you sound?" Draco offered as an explanation to his outburst.
Hugo sat up straighter, "He's my best friend, and I've spent all my time with him. Uncle Harry probably felt the same when mum and dad got together, it doesn't mean Uncle Harry fancied dad. So why does it mean I fancy Jack?" he snapped.
Draco held up his hands, "Whoa, Okay. Calm down. This isn't about you and Jack and your friendship or whatever. It's about you discovering who you are and coming to terms with it" he calmly told him.
Harry frowned at Draco, "Look Hugo, this will be embarrassing but you can talk to us. Have you ever thought about another boy? Or had confusing thoughts?"
Hugo slumped again and mumbled, "Yeah I have" and looked away.
Harry reached out and touched his hand, "It's oaky to have these thoughts Hugo. There is nothing wrong with you. Don't force yourself to be what society expects you to be – you will end up unhappy. Do what you want. What about girls do you think about girls and boys equally? Maybe you like both?" he asked, trying to take the subject away from Jack.
Hugo looked up and blushed, "If I tell you something you must promise not to tell mum and dad" he said voice serious.
Harry shifted, he didn't like keeping secrets from his friends, but Hugo needed someone to talk to and it would help Hugo in the long run. "Sure. I promise I won't tell"
And Draco added, "Nope me neither".
Hugo was relieved, he was getting some of his issues out in the open.
"I did something stupid, just before end of term. Jack accused me of being gay and I'm not. I wanted to prove a point to myself and to him. So I…um…I sleptwithagirl." He rushed the last part.
Both Harry and Draco said at the same time:
"What" (Harry)
"Pardon" (Draco)
Hugo sighed, "I slept with a girl. I thought maybe I would know once and for all if I was straight" he hung his head in his hands.
"Ugh it was awful. So fucking awful"
Draco laughed. "You mean that it was awful as in awkward first time, or awful as in not attracted to the girl?"
Hugo shrugged, "Both I think. But the girl I slept with isn't very attractive anyway, just um, just Merlin why am I telling you this – just easy I guess"
Harry shook his head, Hugo was fourteen, well fifteen now, and blimey he was young.
"What happened?" Draco prompted
"We just slept together. It was awful, cringe worthy and I'm confused as ever as to my sexuality. I know it was wrong to sleep with her to prove Jack wrong and never in a million years will I admit to Jack that I hated it. But I was hoping maybe if I found the right girl, had a relationship and that, that the sex would be different" he sounded hopeful, desperate even.
Harry spoke next, "Hugo you can't fake attraction, desire and need. If you're not attracted to someone then the sex will be rubbish – you need to figure out what attracts you and maybe experiment. You shouldn't discount boys just because it isn't normal"
Hugo nodded, "I know. I think I'm too much of a coward to do anything with a boy – because I'm afraid if I do, then I will realise I'm gay." He put his head in his arms and arms on the table.
"What is so wrong with being gay Hugo?" Draco asked.
He lifted his head, "Nothing I guess. I just don't want to be different, to not fit in and I always thought I'd get married and have what mum and dad has."
Draco squared his shoulders, "Your mum and dad have a happy, loving marriage and are totally and utterly devoted to each other and very much in love. That is what Harry and I have, no different Hugo."
Hugo looked apologetic, "I know Draco. No one can deny how much you and Harry love each other. I didn't mean that. I just meant the whole, man meets women, get married, have kids etc. etc. that people expect from everyone. If you didn't have Scorpius and Harry didn't have, Al and James, would you question your relationship? I mean if you figured it out at school – basically I'm denying myself a chance at a family"
Harry smiled sadly, "Well I can't answer that as that never happened for us. Besides Draco was a right fuckwit at school, I wouldn't have gotten with him, even if we were both gay" Harry tried to lighten the mood.
"Oi Potter shut up. You know you wouldn't have resisted my advances if I was inclined to set my sights on you. Anyway you were the fuckwit boy wonder – not me. I was retaliating"
Harry laughed, "Well I guess we will never know. I expect if either of us tried it on with each other at school, we would have punched each other and hexes would have been thrown. Hugo you need to stop denying your feelings. You don't need to admit them to anyone else. Just to yourself, that's a start"
Hugo smiled, "I will. I will think about it and maybe just experiment like you said, boys and girls – get a fair idea of what I prefer"
There was a small silence, "Um in the future if I have any more questions, can I um, can I ask you? I mean about um gay... um never mind" he mumbled.
Harry patted his arm, "yes Hugo you can ask us about sex. It will be just as embarrassing for us as it will be for you, don't worry. But we will always answer your questions okay."
Hugo nodded and thanked them, then he got up and re-joined his dad and Jack.
Draco swung his leg over the bench, so he was straddling the bench, leg either side. Harry copied him and Draco put his legs over the top of Harry's. So his legs rested on Harry's thighs, but still hung down either side of the bench.
Harry pulled Draco close, "I'm so glad we figured it out pretty quickly. Blimey Hugo makes it harder than what it actually is. All soap opera like. He is bi or gay and he fancies Jack – simple"
Draco chuckled and shifted closer. It was relatively dark in the garden now and no one was looking, but Harry knew that they couldn't do anything risky. So he settled for kissing his man with such passion and love that Draco would know exactly what Harry wanted when they got home.
Hugo returned to his friend and dad. Just in time, his dad won and stood to leave. Jack smiled at him, "Was never going to win against your dad, but it was good practice for when I play a game against you".
Hugo allowed the happy feeling at seeing Jack smile, sink in. He wouldn't fight how he feels around Jack – if he was going to figure himself out, he needed to accept his feelings, whatever they were.
Jack looked towards Harry and Draco, and stared. He couldn't take his eyes off of them. It was dark, but light enough to see that they were having a rather steamy make out session. He knew he shouldn't watch, but he hadn't really ever seen two men kissing like that before.
Merlin it looked like so hot. Jack was never bothered when he saw fellow boy students kissing girls, but two men kissing. It was further confirmation that, yes he was definitely gay.
Hugo was talking to Jack, but he wasn't listening. Hugo followed Jack's gaze and realised with a blush, that Harry and Draco were practically eating each other's faces off. Hugo watched, he had seen them kiss many times, mainly gentle loving kisses, never full on kisses – more suited to the bedroom. It was weird because, well they were family.
So he switched his gaze to Jack and his mind wandered. Jack looked hypnotised by them kissing. His eyes shone, he had tinged pink cheeks and he licked his lips. The sight of Jack caused an unexpected reaction in Hugo. He was so shocked he jumped up and declared he needed the toilet. He ignored the downstairs toilet and ran to the one upstairs. He locked the door and groaned, Fucking hell. He had gotten hard watching Jack – he looked so alluring and Hugo wanted to reach out and kiss Jack like Harry was kissing Draco.
Jack's trance was broken by Hugo's hasty exit. He frowned after him, when he returned his attention back to Draco and Harry, they had broken apart and were hugging. Jack liked the hugging just as much as the kissing. It would be nice to be openly gay and to have someone to be with, to hug and love.
Harry had to break away from Draco, if they didn't then the y wold end up in a very awkward situation, most likely letting their desire run away with them.
Draco was hugging Harry, but slyly started massaging Harry's erection through his trousers. But it was dark and their bodies blocked out the movement, so no one would know. It looked as if they were cuddling, nothing more.
Harry leaned forwards, "Draco. I'd apparate home right now if I were you" and Harry stood and apparated, knowing Draco would follow.
Jack was joined by Ron and Hermione, "Oh where did Harry and Draco go?" Hermione asked Jack as she gave him a slice of cake.
Jack blushed, "Um they looked um…. They seemed to ….um they needed privacy I think" he mumbled
Ron laughed, "Bastards have left the kids to us so they can go fuck" Ron blurted.
Hermione scolded him and said not to be so crude in front of Jack. They walked away arguing and Jack could feel his cock was now erect – think of those two going at it. It wasn't because he found Harry or Draco attractive, because he didn't not really. It was more the fact he had never seen two gay men so passionate before and the thought that they would be fucking. Just the idea of fucking another man with such passion and desire as they showed each other – that was what got him hard.
He was very glad that Hugo and his family left him be. After he ate his dessert, he thanked Hugo's parents and said he was going to Hugo's room to see where he got to.
He walked to Hugo's room and it was empty. He heard the shower on down the hall. Weird time to decide to shower. He thought, but realised he could do with a shower, a cold shower.
Hugo was so hard, he wasn't this hard when he was with Michelle. He knew the only way to get rid of his raging boner was to wank. So he made sure the door was locked, striped, turned the shower on. Climbed in and gripped his erection, handling it roughly, he was desperate for a release. For the first time he openly wanked to the thought of Jack and the way he looked so turned on by two men kissing.
When he finally came and cleaned up, he changed into his pyjamas and went to his room. Jack was already in bed, asleep by the looks of it. It was late, the family BBQ had run to well into the night. Hugo wished Jack goodnight and climbed into bed and fell asleep.
Jack waited until Hugo was asleep before he took hold of himself and started wanking. He was still fully erect and he couldn't get the idea of two men have rough passionate sex out of his head. So he had to wank, just to get rid of his problem. Hugo was asleep so if he was careful he could wank and no one would know.
Jack was moaning softly, but kept his moans in check. He didn't want to wake Hugo.
Hugo was asleep when he heard rustling of a blanket and moans, he was still half asleep and assumed Jack was having a dream. He turned on his side and went back to a deep sleep.
Jack froze, Hugo had just stirred and turned to face him. Luckily he was still sound asleep and he was back to sleep in seconds. Jack continued his wanking, with a new found determination – he came as he watched Hugo's face.