AN: There's like, some sexy times and stuff in this chapter. just so you know. Not quite and M rating, I don't think, but yeah...
After over month of carefully avoiding the paparazzi, and meeting for lunch or dinner in secluded places, Irene was completely convinced that Teresa really was interested in her as a real relationship and not a publicity stunt. They talked every day, usually for at least an hour, if not longer when time permitted. Irene knew that she was falling for this woman, and she was terrified and exhilarated at the same time. Each night when she was lying in bed, looking at the ceiling, she could not help but wonder what it would be like to have Teresa there in be next to her. They had moved slowly in their sexual relationship. Irene knew that Teresa was well aware of her reservations about jumping into bed so early in their relationship. She had given herself to her first girlfriend and had regretted it ever since. The woman had ended up cheating on her with a man, and it had almost ruined Irene for any future relationships. But Teresa was so incredibly understanding, had been such a gentleman about the whole thing and had not pushed Irene farther than she was comfortable. Which was why she was so nervous about their next date and what she planned to do.
It was a Saturday night, and Clare, whom Irene had yet to meet, was spending the weekend at her father's. Earlier that week, Teresa had called Irene and asked if she would like to come over for a home-cooked dinner and maybe just a night on the couch with a good movie. They would be alone. In Teresa's home. Irene had come to the decision that it was time to take a chance on Teresa. It was time to put her trust in the other woman.
She arrived at Teresa's building, which overlooked Central Park, at ten till six, and the doorman let her in, expecting her. Teresa was unsurprised to see Irene ten minutes early. She was used to it by now.
"Hey." She smiled and leaned in to kiss Irene softly as she pulled them both inside and shut the door behind them. Irene let her eyes flutter shut as Teresa wrapped her arms around her waist. Kissing Teresa was like jumping off a cliff and trusting that her parachute would open. She got a rush in her stomach and her heart thudded in her chest, and this feeling had not diminished as time went on. When they pulled apart for breath, Irene returned the smile.
"Hey yourself." She looked around her, having never actually been to Teresa's home. It was cozy, but modern. Evidence of Clare's presence was all over the place. There was a schoolbag near the door, and a pair of child's sneakers in the hall. "You're place is beautiful," she said, turning around to take in more. "Do I get a tour?"
"Of course," Teresa said. "This is the front hall. Obviously. Or Clare's closet." She waved her hand at the coat and shoes left in the floor. "I suppose I should have cleaned up a bit."
"It's fine." Irene felt that having those little reminders of Teresa's child would help her keep a level head about all this. Teresa put her hands on Irene's hips and spun her around, pushing her down the hall. She showed Irene the kitchen, living room, home office, her bedroom, the guest bedroom (the door to Clare's room was closed), the dining room, the bathrooms, her exercise room, and a den. It was a modest apartment for how much money Irene knew Teresa had, even in New York where the cost of living was so high.
"So when do I get to see your place?" Teresa asked as they walked back to the kitchen.
"You've seen it."
"Only from the outside!" Teresa motioned for Irene to take a seat at the kitchen table, while she turned to check the food on the stove. "I want to see how you decorate."
"It's not that interesting, I assure you." Her style was crisp and clean. She did not feel much need to put many embellishments in her home.
"Are you trying to say that you don't want me to see it?" Teresa's tone was light as she stirred one of the pots, but Irene heard the apprehension behind it.
"That's not what I meant at all," Irene assured her. "I would very much like you to come over. But we'll have to either eat out or order in." Teresa relaxed and turned back to smile at Irene as she poured rice on two plates, followed by asparagus.
"I think I can handle that." She pulled two chicken breasts out of the oven. One for each of them. She placed one of the plates in front of Irene and then sat down across the table from her.
"This looks very good." She cut into the chicken and was pleasantly surprised by its tenderness and favor. "And it tastes even better.
"It's nothing special, but...I thought that cooking for you would be a nice change of pace."
"It is." Irene looked across at Teresa before taking a sip of her wine. "I'm very impressed."
"See," Teresa smiled triumphantly. "I have many talents." There was a very strong suggestion in her words and Irene blushed as she put down her glass.
"Apparently so. Do you do windows, too?" She raised a brow and Teresa laughed.
"Not anymore. I have people for that now. I'm just doing my part keeping New York employed."
"I'm sure." Irene rolled her eyes as she continued to eat. "Well, this is so much more than what I could have done."
"I'm sure you're just exaggerating," Teresa said, eyes twinkling.
"When I was sixteen, I almost got expelled from my fancy boarding school because I set the kitchen on fire," Irene informed her. "I was making pasta." Teresa laughed appreciatively while Irene smiled tightly, not liking to bring up anything from that time.
"In that case, leave the cooking to me." She regarded Irene a moment longer, her smile falling slightly. "Irene..."
"Not yet, Teresa." Irene looked down at her plate. Teresa had been getting closer and closer to the reason why Irene hated her time a boarding school, but Irene had not yet felt ready for full disclosure. "Tonight it supposed to be fun and romantic. I don't want to ruin it."
"Okay. But you have to promise that you won't just keep putting this off in hopes that I'll forget." Teresa eyed her pointedly. "I have a memory like an elephant." She tapped her temple.
"I'll keep that in mind."
After dinner, Teresa served her a simple bowl of ice-cream with strawberries on top, and then they moved to the den, where Irene curled up on the couch next to Teresa. The lights were low, and Irene was hyper aware of Teresa's breasts against her back, and the fact that she was nestled between Teresa's legs. The actress had draped an arm loosely around Irene's waist, resting her head on her shoulder as they watched the movie. Irene did not really pay attention to the screen, instead concentrating on trying to appear relaxed and in control. That control wavered when Teresa's fingers began dancing along her ribs. They had made it halfway through the movie before those hands started to fully caress her sides. She closed her eyes and sighed, leaning her head back onto Teresa's shoulder.
"That's nice," she murmured. The actress's hands travelled higher to graze the underside of Irene's breasts. She was slightly embarrassed when a moan escaped her lips, her back arching just slightly into Teresa's touch.
"Is this too much?" Teresa asked quietly. "Should I stop?"
"No. Don't stop." Irene knew that this was the moment where she had to make a decision. Either she let Teresa continue, let the situation escalate, or she stopped it. She found that, as scared as she was, she did not want to stop. Irene was an all or nothing type of woman. If she was ready to let Teresa touch her in that way, then she was ready to let Teresa take her all the way.
"Good. Because I might have cried if you made me stop."
"I would never want that," Irene managed. She wanted so much to please Teresa. Teresa's lips came to rest against her neck, brushing the skin, causing Irene's breath to hitch and shudder. "If you leave a hickey, I'll kill you," she murmured, very distracted.
"I'll be careful, I promise." Her lips travelled up, and Teresa kissed the corner of Irene's jaw, nipping ever so lightly at her pulse point. She brought her hands higher, fully cupping Irene's breasts now, pulling Irene's back tighter against her chest. Irene moaned again low and deep in her throat, her hips rolling subconsciously. Teresa let one of her hands drop to Irene's hip then down to caress her thigh before dipping briefly between her legs.
"Oh, God," Irene gasped, closing her eyes tightly. Heart rate skyrocketing, she turned her head to capture Teresa's lips, the kiss desperate and hungry. She fisted her hand in Teresa's dark hair, letting her lips fall open to allow Teresa's tongue access. She had never felt safer with a partner. Of course, she only had two others with whom to compare, but this was different. She wanted so badly to give herself to Teresa, in a way that she had never experienced before. Teresa pulled her up so that Irene was straddling her lap, arms encircling her waist, their bodies flush against each other as they continued to kiss. Irene let her hands rest on Teresa's shoulders, steadying herself as she got lost in Teresa's lips.
After several minutes, Teresa leaned back and carefully, reverently removed Irene's shirt. Irene was left in her simple cotton bra wishing that she had worn a different one, a sexier one. She looked down, unable to help herself as she compared her bust size to Teresa's. She was so much smaller, and she almost apologized for that before she realized that Teresa had paused, eyes devouring her. "You're so beautiful," she whispered. Irene blushed and looked away, trying to ignore how exposed she felt under Teresa's intense gaze. .
"No I'm not." How could Teresa think so when she herself was so incredibly stunning? Irene knew that she was not ugly by any means, and she was sure that her body, at least, was attractive. But she was always self-conscience about her slightly hooked nose and her angular features.
"Yes. You are." Teresa took Irene's face between her hands and kissed her soundly before nibbling on her bottom lip. "You're perfect." With surprising strength, she stood up, hitching Irene's legs around her waist, and carried her to the bedroom where she gently laid her down on the bed. Irene looked up at her, chest heaving in anticipation. Teresa held eye contact as she pulled of her own shirt and shimmied out of her jeans. Irene swallowed hard, staring at the vision of perfection before her. She knew without a doubt that she had never seen a more beautiful person in all her life than Teresa Blackwell. She sat up and removed her own pants, leaving her in just her underwear on Teresa's bed.
Carefully and slowly, Teresa pushed Irene back down, leaning in to kiss her, the black waves of her hair falling around them. One hand kept her braced above Irene while the other ran down between her breasts and across her stomach. Irene's breath caught, and her brain finally caught up with her body.
"Stop," she squeaked against Teresa's lips. "Please." Disappointed, but not surprised, Teresa pulled back, closing her eyes and sighing. Irene stood and walked over to the curtained window, wrapping her arms around herself. "I'm sorry."
"It's alright." She heard the bed creak as Teresa stood to come up behind her, not too close to invade her personal space. "I shouldn't have let myself get carried away."
"I...I want this, Teresa," Irene began, not quite sure how to explain her feelings, not quite sure what they even were. "But I just...I want you to know that I don't...I don't do this."
"Do what?"
"Sleep with people I barely know." She was sure of her decision, sure that she wanted this, but that did not make her any less terrified. She had never let herself become so infatuated with someone so early in a relationship. She had never felt more exposed and vulnerable, but she had also never been more willing to jump off the precipice. Teresa was worth the risk. She just had to make sure that they were both on the same page.
"And you think I do?" The hurt was clear in Teresa's voice. Irene grimaced and turned to face Teresa, heart fluttering at the sight of her almost naked body.
"That's not what I meant." How had she gone from feeling so excited and happy just moments before to being scared and insecure. "I just meant...this is faster than I expected...It normally takes much longer for me...for me to be...comfortable enough..." She took a deep breath to gather herself. "I've never let it happen this quickly, if at all. I just...I want you to know how big of a deal this is for me." Teresa's eyes softened and she stepped closer, returning her hands to Irene's hips.
"I know." She leaned their foreheads against each other. "And I understand. I'm...I understand how special this is." Irene tilted her head so that they could kiss again, wrapping her arms around Teresa's neck, pulling their bodies close so that their breasts were presses together. She thought she could feel Teresa's heartbeat.
"I want to do this with you," she said as she pulled back, away from Teresa's lips. "I just needed you to know." Teresa pushed Irene's hair back behind an ear, tilting her head to the side.
"I've never wanted someone as much as I want you right now." Teresa's words sent an intense wave of desire through Irene's body and she pulled Teresa back to her, capturing her lips again, her kisses desperate and needy. "Are you sure about this?" Teresa managed to gasp between kisses.
"I am." Teresa maneuvered them back to the bed, laying Irene down and stretching her body over Irene's, kissing down her neck and chest. For the first time in years, Irene let herself go, gave herself over to her desires and let Teresa make love to her. And tentatively, hesitant even though she was the one with more experience with women, she explored Teresa's body, delighting every time she found a spot that made the other woman moan lowly until she reached completion. They spent several hours in that bed, learning each other's bodies, and when they were done, both covered in a light sheen of sweat, Teresa pulled Irene close and let the slim woman rest her head against Teresa's chest.
"Thank you for trusting me enough to do that with me," Teresa whispered into her hair. Irene closed her eyes contentedly, breathing in Teresa's scent. "I know how big of a step that was."
"And thank you for being patient with me. It's been a long time." Irene had not been with a woman romantically in several years, and had been unsure at first if she would be able to properly take care of Teresa. She need not have worried, though because Teresa had responded rather well to her attentions. Reluctantly, she looked at the clock and sighed when she saw that it was nearly midnight. "I should go. It's late." But when she tried to move, Teresa tightened her arms.
"No. Stay here." Irene twisted around to look into Teresa's face, and saw that her eyes were pleading. "Stay the night. Please."
"I don't have any clothes." It was the only response that came to mind. Irene had not expected Teresa to ask her to stay. She was unprepared.
"Well, I was planning on sleeping naked, but if you want, I have plenty of t-shirts you can wear, and no one is going to notice if you wear the same clothes tomorrow," Teresa insisted. "Clare's at her father's until tomorrow evening, and I...I wanted to cook you breakfast." Irene knew in that moment, as Teresa tried to convince her to stay, bribing her with food, that she loved Teresa more than she had loved any of her previous girlfriends. She was beautiful and smart and funny and humble and talented. She was everything that Irene had wanted and many things she had not known she wanted until they were presented to her. "Please stay."
"Okay, fine. I'll stay. But only because you promised breakfast." Teresa smiled and pulled Irene back down next to her, positioning them so that she was spooning Irene, and arm thrown over her waist.
"Thank you."
"I expect breakfast to be phenomenal."
Teresa chuckled. "Good night, Irene."
"Night, Teresa." She settled into the sheets, snuggling against Teresa, and soon she was fast asleep.
When Irene awoke, it took her a moment to recognize her surroundings. She was not in her room, and the clock on the night stand was not her clock. Confused, she pushed herself up on her elbows, and realized that she was naked. Her eyes widened as the night before came crashing back to her. She glanced over to her left to see Teresa's equally naked form sleeping soundly next to her, black hair fanned across the pillow. Relaxing, Irene smiled. Teresa looked so lovely and peaceful in her sleep. Irene glanced over at the clock to see that it was only seven. Early enough that she should go back to sleep, but Irene had always been an early riser, and once she was up, she was up. So carefully, mindful that Teresa would not yet want to be up, she swung her legs out of the sheets and off the bed and stumbled into Teresa's bathroom to take care of business and look for a robe.
There was only one robe, and Irene decided that between the two of them, she would much rather have Teresa be the naked one. So she shrugged on the robe and ran a hand through her tangled hair. She scrounged around in the drawers for a hair tie. Even though she had only spent a day in Teresa's home, she felt comfortable enough to go through Teresa's things. After a few moments, she found a few ties and quickly pulled her hair back, wishing she could take a shower, but not wanting the noise to wake Teresa.
Irene realized that she had not brought any of her work with her, and she was not much of a fan of TV, so she made her way to Teresa's office and rounded up a few pencils and some computer paper. The view from the living room was very inspiring, so she curled up in one of the comfy chairs and began sketching, losing herself in the drawings.
"Can I see?" Irene's pencil skittered across the page as Teresa's voice startled her. She looked up to see the other woman leaning against the wall, hair tousled, with her head cocked to the side wearing only a t-shirt that barely covered her.
"Oh, um..." Irene looked down at her paper, at the numerous sketches she had laid down in the two hours that had passed. They were mostly of Teresa. "Well...I...it might seem weird..." Teresa raised a brow and sauntered over to Irene, coming to stand behind her and looking over her shoulder.
"It's me."
"Um...yeah." Irene resisted the urge to hide the drawings, letting Teresa take them from her hands to inspect them.
"These are fantastic, Irene," she said, holding them up to the morning light streaming through the window. "I didn't know you were so talented." Irene blushed.
"They're not that great," she muttered.
"Yes they are," Teresa insisted. "And I have to say I'm a little flattered." She held up one, one that was a particular favorite of Irene's, that was a profile of Teresa. Her eyes were half closed, looking down with a small smile tugging at her lips and her hair falling in front of her face. It did not look exactly like Teresa, but it embodied the way Teresa made her feel. "Is this how you see me? It looks so soft and …..soft."
"You were soft with me last night," Irene said quietly. "You were so gentle and...and patient." She looked up at Teresa's kind eyes.
"I just wanted you to feel safe," Teresa said. "I know how nervous you were."
"You were incredible." Irene blushed. "It was all incredible."
"You were pretty incredible yourself," Teresa smirked, glancing back at Irene before studying the sketch further. "And this is incredible, too. I...the emotion is so moving. It's...Do I really make you feel this way?" She sounded so surprised, so pleased. Irene nodded, gathering her courage.
"Yes, it is. You make me feel...well, I've never felt this way before." She looked up into Teresa's dark eyes. "I...this might be too soon for me to say," she began, heart thudding loudly in her chest. "But...I ...I love you." The words hung in the air for a short, terrifying moment.
"I know." Teresa's face was utterly serious.
"What?" Irene blinked in surprise.
"I know that you would not have done anything with me last night if you didn't love me," Teresa explained gently. "I know you." She placed the sketches down on the coffee table and knelt in front of Irene. "Yes, it hasn't been very long, and I know that you're scared by how fast we've gone. And I'm sorry...I'm sorry if I ever made you feel pushed."
"No, never," Irene assured her. "I made the decision on my own. You've never made me feel pressured." Teresa nodded, never losing eye contact.
"I want you to know that...even if..." She took a deep breath. "I do sometimes sleep with people I don't love." Feeling very vulnerable, Irene looked away from Teresa's eyes. "But it's so different with you." Teresa placed a hand on Irene's knee. "I...I'm not ready to say it back yet, and I'm so sorry for that." she bit her lip. "The last person I loved was Clare's father, and I haven't said it to anyone else since. This is just as new for me as it is for you. It's a little scary." She had not said the words, but she had heavily implied it, and that was almost enough for Irene.
"It's okay," she said, turning back to look at Teresa. "I don't want to push you either. I didn't say it so that I could hear it back. I just...wanted you to know."
"Irene, I'm never going to lead you on, okay?" Teresa stood back up so that she could lean over and kiss Irene gently on her forehead. "I never want to hurt you or make you feel like you're giving more to this than I am."
"I know. I trust you." She was slightly disappointed that Teresa had not said she loved her, but it was not unexpected. She knew Teresa was committed to this relationship, knew that Teresa cared deeply for her. Perhaps ten years earlier, Irene would have felt terribly insecure about all this, but she knew that she had already thrown herself all in. Now, she just had to wait and see where it went. She could not let her insecurities get the best of her.
"That means a great deal to me." Teresa pulled Irene up and into a tight embrace, and Irene could feel her breasts through the thin material of her shirt. "Do you still want me to cook you breakfast?" Teresa asked, lips close to Irene's pointed ear. "Or...we could do ...something else instead?" Irene shivered as Teresa's breath ghosted over her skin.
"W-what did you have in mind?" She hated that she was unable to keep her voice steady. Teresa's teeth nipped her earlobe, and one hand pressed into the small of her back as the other slid down to rest on her rear, pulling her closer. Irene bit her lip as she moaned, eyes closing, remembering that she was completely naked under Teresa's robe. Her hands clenched, bunching up the fabric of Teresa's shirt.
"Maybe we could move back to the bedroom?" Teresa took a step backwards, pulling Irene along with her. She moved her lips down to Irene's neck, nipping lightly.
"Teresa-"
"No hickies," she said against Irene's skin. "I remember." It was just practical. Irene did not have that many shirts that covered her neck and she did not like wearing scarves inside. She did not need anyone besides Melissa knowing that she was involved with someone. She especially did not want word getting back to her father. He...would not be pleased.
"We don't need that kind of attention right now." Irene was proud of how coherent and intelligent that sentence sounded. It was quite impressive considering that Teresa's lips were now moving lower, over her collarbone and across her sternum.
"Hmm, I suppose you're right." Teresa nipped at the skin between Irene's breasts. "But no one will see them here." Irene arched her back, pressing herself into Teresa's lips, hands taking hold of her hair.
"God, Teresa."
"I have a rule against having sex in the same room where Clare watches TV, so let's move this to the bedroom now." Teresa spun them around and pushed Irene down the hall and back into the bedroom.
Eventually, they did get around to making breakfast, with Teresa attempting to teach Irene how to make pancakes while she scrambled eggs and fried some bacon. The pancakes ended up being edible, if not pretty, and Irene felt oddly proud that she had been able to pull it off. Then it really had been time for Irene to go home. She had work she needed to get done before Monday, and Teresa had several interviews to prepare for in the coming week. So she went home after making plans with Teresa to meet at least twice for lunch during the week, and for dinner that Thursday when Clare was supposed to be staying with a friend. They were still working around the girl's schedule. Teresa was not ready for Irene to meet her yet, and Irene respected her wishes. There was no need to rush things. It would happen when it was supposed to.