I do not own Twilight because if I did the concept of Imprinting would be banished and the idea of language and lemons would be introduced. Ahhh... *sighs happily* FanFiction just about sums it up!
Rock on Blackwater babes!
~Hate Me~
The Waterfall
"Just over there Jake" I said, searching the road for the large fallen oak tree to indicate our arrival. "Near the fallen tree" I pointed, pressing my index finger on the cloudy glass, our warmth making the rabbit's cabin fog, considering the dropping temperature outside.
Winter was coming soon and the whole of Forks and LaPush would be riddled with the depressing look of the winter weather. It had never been my favourite season, often finding it a lonely and sad time of the year, being stuck in a small god damn house with my pain in the ass brother and a mother whose chirpy attitude over her sheriff boyfriend made me want to puke. It was totally sad on my part that my mother was dating and I wasn't. We'd both lost the love of our lives, yet she was able to pick up the pieces and sew herself back together. She trusted Charlie, she may even love the guy. I mean sure, Charlie was cool and when he wasn't looking I was able to steal his cuffs and chain Seth to the sink one time, but overall the guy was pretty darn nice.
I always did have a soft spot for the bumbling idiot. Truth be told he was a klutz, something which no one could deny his daughter had inherited when she was human, he couldn't keep a house if his life depended on it and the guy was even able to manage screwing up cooking the simplest of things. I guess you could say he needed my mum. She was literally an Indian version of Martha Stewart, the perfect house keeper, the perfect mother and wife. She would definitely be in the running for an impending saint hood.
"Leah? Why the hell are we here?" Jacob asked, searching his eyes through the woods before looking back at me with a curious look on his face.
"I want to show you something. It may answer some of your questions." I smiled sadly as I reached for the door handle to let myself out.
"Questions about what? You never answer my questions so it could be anything" He chuckled nervously as he too hoped out of the small car.
"You'll see" I mused, holding out my hand for his. "Come on Alpha, take my hand, I promise I wont let anything get you" Lowering my voice I teased him a little "I'll protect you Jake"
"Ha ha! Very funny Clearwater" He glared all the while taking my hand and letting me lead him down off the road and through the trees.
The forest was silent around us bar the soft blowing of an Autumn draft and the low hum of the nocturnal animals around us. It was nice having the silence between us, due to Jake's disciples often following him around where ever he went, like magnets. He moves, they move.
God I thought Bella and Stalk-ward much?
A few times I tugged Jacob's hand, as he seemed to be drifting off and trying to walk in a different direction, him and his two second attention span probably the cause to blame.
"I'm not some puppy you know Leah. Can't you just tell me where we are going?" He said staring at our joined hands, squeezing my hand softly in his. I too was drifting in and out of thoughts, taking in the calloused yet soft texture of his hands, the warmth he exuded and even his presence. Maybe it was an Alpha thing or maybe it was just a Jacob thing.
"Oh come on Jake, is the big bad Alpha scared?" I smirked, tugging him further into the woods.
"I just don't want to be surprised when something jumps out at me. I like being prepared" He frowned, stopping on the trampled path and pulling me back to him. "Where are you taking me Leah?"
"I-" I stuttered out like a complete idiot, feeling the closeness of our bodies. I could literally taste Jacob's scent on the tip of my tongue, his breath fanning over my face and making me dizzy. Not the sick kind of dizzy I had been feeling before but the dizzy I felt when I used to be with Sam. The sensation raced through my whole body, making a ripple rise in my spine, and my eyes flutter.
"Jake – I"
"Leah" He breathed, cupping my face with the free hand that wasn't holding mine. "Look me in the eye and tell me you don't like me. Tell me you don't want to see how this could be, how we could be?"
My eyes flicked from his eyes down to his mouth, noticing his tongue poke out and rub against his bottom lip. "Tell me I don't make you feel anything"
His voice was was smooth and calming and I couldn't help but sigh and lean my face into his palm, rubbing my cheek up and down his large hand. "Let me show you something first, were almost there" I whispered before pulling away from his hand and began walking again. Truth be told there were only two men who had seen it before with me. Dad and Sam. Both men who had disappeared out of my life in the blink of an eye, both who seemed to leave me when I needed them most.
I looked over my shoulder at Jake who had stopped only millimetres behind me.
"What is this place?" He questioned, the wonder and awe in his eyes was evident.
"This is the place I come when my head is clouded and I want some peace in my life. This is my sanctuary Jake, my kingdom. The only place left for the memories I try and hold on to" I answered feeling his arms wrap around my waist. Letting him hold me felt right, so I allowed myself to lean back into his chest and placed my hands over his.
"It's beautiful" He breathed near my ear, making my skin crawl with goosebumps. His voice deep and husky. "But why did you bring me here?" He asked, nuzzling his nose into the crook of my neck.
"Every man I have loved I have brought here, and then fate took them away. I was hoping it would work for you too." I sighed feeling his arms tense around me, before his fingers wrapped themselves around the material of my dress, fisting it tightly.
"I'm not going anywhere Leah" He whispered against my neck making me whimper. "And if I do, your coming with me." Taking a deep breath, I allowed him to turn me in his embrace. "I know you don't want to hear it Leah, but I really do like you. I want us to be more than just friends, but most of all I want you to be happy. I may only be a boy in your eyes, but I am man enough to admit I've been a fool. I spent a whole year of my life chasing a girl that could never be mine. I chased someone who didn't understand me, not like you do. Instead of looking for love so far away, I could have been right here, in my home, with my people, loving a girl who I have known all my life.
I know it's not going to be easy Leah. I know what you had with Sam was real and then it was taken away with one fucking look, one moment. But trust me when I tell you; I'm not going to hurt you, and I'm not going to give up. I can live for a long as it takes for you to give me a chance.
Ultimately though, I want you to be happy, so if you think Andy can give you that, I will back off, until the day you realise the inevitable..."
I hadn't noticed the tears running down my cheeks until Jacob started to wipe them away with his thumbs. "And what is that?" I ebbed trying to hold back the underlying sobs my body was so desperately holding on to.
Taking a deep breath Jacob kissed me. This time is was soft and sweet, not like his earlier attempts filled with desperation and force. This kiss just about knocked me on to my ass, as the seem of my lips parted and his tongue slipped into my mouth. It was slow and controlled, and while both his hands cupped my face, I couldn't help but to do the same.
Pulling away he rested his forehead against mine and looked into my watery eyes, his big brown orbs making me feel like a teenage girl again, ready for the big wide world and ready to fall in love again.
"That your in love with me" He smiled inching forward so the tips of our noses were touching. "That I am right and that we could be great together."
Closing my eyes I thought a moment. In some sense Jacob was right. We did make a whole lot of sense together. We had both been through a whole lot in our measly years of life. We'd both lost a parent, we'd both felt the pain of heartbreak, both protectors of our tribe, both wolves who could one day-
My realisation had hit me like a tonne of bricks and it made me sick to my stomach. "The imprint" I whispered backing away from him slowly, my eyes quivering with hurt remembering why I had brought him out here. I was supposed to show him the carving in the nearby tree, the one Sam had carved into the bark, promised me his love and proposed on one knee. I was supposed to show him the small flowers my dad had planted with me as a little girl, show him that they were now dead just like he was. It was all gone and soon he could be too.
"Give me a chance Lee. I know I can fight an imprint. You could give me that reason" He tried to explain, stepping closer as I stepped away.
"Your not going to mean it Jake, you wont be able to deny the pull. You wont be able to stop it, you can't fight fate no matter how hard you try, no matter how hard I try. I'm not that strong Jacob. I know you can make me happy, but I also know that you can kill me. It wont matter how much I love you, how much I give you, how much I care, you'll leave me and I'll have to watch you live the perfect life with a girl that isn't me. I'll phase, read you mind and want to disappear." My tears where now running freely, destroying the make up Alice had taken the time to do.
"Lee – I won't. I already know that" He pleaded, his hands reaching out to hold me.
"No you don't" I all but screamed, snatching my body away so he couldn't touch me. Being in his arms felt like heaven and letting him touch me I knew I'd fall straight back into him. "You don't know anything Black" I hissed feeling the anger of the words he spoke bubble inside me. "With Andy I wouldn't be afraid. With Andy I could have a normal life. I could learn to love him. I know you can make me happy Jake, so happy it fuckings hurts just even thinking about it. But the risks Jacob, the risks are too high, there is too much on the line."
"Like what?" Jacob snapped getting frustrated with my answers, hurt lacing his voice from my rejection of all the things he'd just confessed.
"Like the pack. It wouldn't work, it would be too much for them. Your father who is depending on you to give him mini Alpha's, something I can't." I pleaded trying to make him see reason.
"I don't give a shit about the pack or my Dad. I don't care that you haven't had a period since you phased. I want to be with you Leah" He cried out in frustration, pulling a rough hand through his hair. "I fucking love you!" He yelled making me bite down on my lips to stop a sob.
Love. Love? I didn't know the feeling any more. Not since I was a young naive little girl, full of hopes and dreams for a bright future, dreams of a husband who kissed me when I woke and children whose laughter filtered through the back window of the house while I made a Sunday brunch in my perfect little house. I was beyond fucking broken. I was a mess.
"As soon as you see her Jake, I'll be nothing more than a memory! I won't mean shit to you! I'll just be the lonely, bitchy she-wolf that can't get over the fact that another man left her for a fucking stranger. I may be a cunt most of the time but I don't deserve to be treated like I am invisible. You've seen how Sam treats me, how he says he loves me, just not like a woman anymore, he tells me he'll always care, even though he is itching to get back to-"
"It's always about fucking Sam isn't it Leah?" He roared cutting off my own mini rant. "I am so sick you hearing you use Sam as an excuse not to move on. He's not coming back to you Lee. He's not in love with you anymore. He left you. He didn't have to goddamn balls to stand up and fight for you, fight against the magic. He's not coming back!"
My breath hitched in my throat and I felt like I was going to collapse. "I – I – know that" I cried, trying to look everywhere but his eyes. "I know he's not coming back" I screamed, balling my fists and trying to fight through the excruciating pain and truths Jacob's words had hit me with. "I know that I am not worth fighting for, that Emily is so much fucking better than I am, at so much more things."
Finally I felt the dam break and all the shitty emotions Sam had left me with exploded. I felt my head spin before I closed my eyes and stumbled back, anticipating the full hurt of the ground below me. I slowly opened my eyes, not feeling the cold hardness of the ground, but rather the warm arms of Jacob Black.
"Your worth it Leah. Your worth everything and so much more. I am not Sam, and I need you to trust me. I'll be here to catch you, just like now. I'll be here when you leave, when you come back. I'll always be here Leah. Always." He whispered, holding me close and stroking the fallen hair out of my face.
"What do you say Lee? Will you give me that chance?"
AN: She should give him a chance right? Or should she take her chance with Andy?
Also *coos happily* I love all of your fucking awesome reviews. If you all know me by now I am a lazy whore that often doesn't reply. I know you all put in the effort to review so I should too! Trust me - I am working on it! By hell and high water I am currently cursing the delicious taste of Jim Beam and Coke coupled with a night of dancing and laughing, followed closely by Vodka, Lime and Soda's. Damn those drinks to hell! I am still hung over and it is almost 5am on Sunday morning! Bare in mind I went out Friday night! *frowns* Stupid sleeping all day and being awake all night!
So now I am off to bed to sleep all day Sunday before I bare the thought of another Monday morning at work rolling around.
Love all you ladies hard! xoxox