Chapter 4 - No Matter what They may Face, Life Continues on
"Do we seriously have to do this…?" I stopped in front of the classroom door that stood in my way, then turned around to face Isshiki. "Isn't this basically digging our own grave?"
"Senpai, your forehead is dripping with sweat." Isshiki threw back a disappointed look. "You of all people should understand, right? We'll be laughed at and despised for a while, but they'll eventually get bored." Isshiki raised a finger in a matter of factly manner, as if to impart her knowledge. "It's simple tactics, you know? If we hit them fast we'll surprise them so much they won't know what to do."
What is this, a blitzkrieg? In reality, all we were doing outside Isshiki's classroom was preparing to unveil our newfound mutual affection to the world. Well, it's not like I don't understand your logic, Isshiki, but understanding and having the desire to go through with it are two completely separate things. "Yeah, but still. I would REALLY rather not. Spare me please, at least let me have time to mentally prepare."
"That's disgusting, senpai. I can practically picture you grovelling on the floor." Well, yes. That's the image I was trying to convey. This way, I can have the same impact as actually grovelling without the humiliation, the best of both worlds. A supremely useful skill, if I do say so myself, although going by Isshiki's piercing glare, it seems she's not having any of it. "It's better than the whole school slowly finding out through rumours, right? If that happened, we'd be fresh topics of ridicule for months."
"Wait, did you just call me disgusting? Why do I get the feeling I was treated better before the confession…?"
"Come on, stop wasting time-" Isshiki grabbed my sleeve and started dragging me with her into the classroom. "Let's get this over with."
In the end, we acted out a warped and distorted version of a happy couple eating lunch together. What kind of irony is this, that we need to act to be seen as a couple even though we're actually dating now? I could feel around 25 stares burning into my back, some with disgust and some with shock, but most of them had some mixture of the two. The worst was yet to come, however. Isshiki was right, due to the shock of seeing us together so casually, there wasn't anyone who directly confronted us about it today. But, eventually the shock will turn into whispers of distress and that will turn into outright harassment. But, sitting here, awkwardly taking bites of the food Isshiki was feeding me with a spoon just makes me want to put that thought out of my mind for now.
We'll take it as it comes, I suppose.
"So, I've been thinking, senpai." The girl sitting opposite of me stirred her coffee with a spoon while resting her cheek in her other hand.
"What is it, Isshiki?" I reply while sipping my own cup of cappuccino. Yikes, still not sweet enough. And I purposefully ordered this instead of regular coffee, too. As expected, MAX coffee is the only one for me. I don't care what you coffee lovers and connoisseurs think of me, loving only a sweet canned variety! This is how my tongue is, damn it! I'll never abandon you, MAX coffee!
Ahem. What was happening before that tangent again? Ah, that's right, Isshiki had something to say to me.
"Don't you think it's weird for us to still be calling each other 'senpai' and 'Isshiki' now that we're, like, a thing?" Isshiki tilted her head to the side, making her navy blouse rustle along with her hair that was resting on top of it.
"That may be, but I'm still not comfortable calling you by first name yet." In fact, I'm not comfortable calling any girl by their first name, since I haven't had any experience with it since elementary school.
"That's just because you haven't gotten used to it, Hachiman." Isshiki enthusiastically urged me to follow along with her. "Come on; just say it a few times and it'll be like second nature to you. I could do it just like that, see?" Wait, I didn't give you permission to call me by my first name. Seriously, this girl doesn't care about what I think at all, sitting there giving me a smug look as if daring me to stop her.
"Th-then- Iroha."
"Yessssss?" Isshi- Iroha beamed a wide smile at me, but no amount of shimmering brilliance from her smile can hide the glint of sadistic pleasure in her eyes from seeing me squirm. Why isn't she receiving any divine punishment for tormenting me like this? I want to have a long talk with whoever's in charge of karmic retribution in this universe.
"Well- that's it. You wanted me to call you by first name, so I simply complied." I responded sheepishly.
"That's it? Hachiman, you're so boring." Iroha shot me a look of disdain from across the table.
"Um, Iroha? What exactly am I to you?"
"What's that question supposed to be? My boyfriend, obviously."
"Is that so? I'm not really feeling like one."
"I'm not going to stop teasing you just because we're in a relationship now, you know? The fact that I can mess with you is part of what I like about you, you know?" Iroha took a drink from her cup as she spoke, savouring the taste before opening her mouth again. "Coffee tastes the best when it's a mix of bitter and sweet, you know?"
"I'm back." I state absentmindedly while fiddling with my shoes, stumbling and almost falling over in an attempt to store them in the entrance of my abode. "Ah, you can come in, you know. No need to be reserved."
"T…then, sorry for the intrusion." Isshiki Iroha crossed into the entrance hesitantly.
"What's up? You're usually not this nervous anything." I turn my head awkwardly to look Iroha in the eye as I speak. Her eyes dart left and right, seemingly searching for some unfavourable phenomenon.
"Well, you said your sister was here, right, I'm not sur-"
"Oniichan, welcome back!" In the middle of Iroha's sentence, my beloved little sister Komachi popped around the corner, eager to greet the return of the best brother in the world (I have the coffee mug to prove it, too).
"Ah." The two young ladies on either side of me both froze in their tracks, with their mouth agape and eyes staring into each other.
"H-hello." Iroha makes the first move, wearing a fake smile that did not live up to her usual standards of deception and trickery in the slightest in an attempt to maintain a good first impression.
"Oniichan, who is that!?" Komachi's scream reverberated around the Hikigaya household, and after bouncing around the halls for a while, entered my ears and bounced around in my brain some more. Crap, I didn't think her reaction would be this bad. And I didn't even tell her that we're dating yet… On second thought, I really don't want to deal with this. If only there was a way to instantly teleport away from this situation. Unfortunately, that technology just isn't there yet, and I would have to accept the responsibility of awkwardly introducing my girlfriend to my family members.
"Um, you see… let me introduce you two. Iroha, this is my sister Komachi." I take a deep breath before continuing on. "And Komachi, this is Isshiki Iroha. We're in a relationship."
"WHAAAAAT!?"
Well, if you think about it, this situation would've occurred sooner or later. Even if I told Komachi beforehand that I had a girlfriend, she would just be filled with worry and get the wrong idea about Iroha. In that situation, their meeting might've been even harsher than it was minutes ago. Yes, in a way this was the best solution, you might even say I'm being proactive by getting this out of the way right now. I'm absolutely convinced now that bringing my girlfriend home without telling my family I had one was the right decision.
And so, I find myself seated beside Iroha on the living room sofa, with Komachi directly facing us, legs and arms crossed, and a discontent look on her face. I feel like we're being interrogated.
"And so, how long have you been seeing each other?"
"About two weeks." Iroha responded with a bright grin, laying on the sweetness in her voice thicker than usual.
"And? Why didn't you tell me about this?"
"That, well… it just never seemed to be the right time…" I mutter sheepishly while glancing down at the floor beside my feet. Hmm, what a nice pattern the carpet has in this area, and is that a loose strand of hair down there?
"Your sister is kind of scary…" Iroha grabs my arm and leans in to whisper into my ear.
"A-ah. Yeah, kind of…" I respond vaguely, trying not to give anything away to Komachi, who's glaring at us suspiciously from across the table.
"She gives off kind of a clever and vicious vibe, it sends a chill down my spine."
"Well that's ironic."
"What are you whispering about?!" Komachi jumps up from her seat and grabs my other free arm, dragging me off of the sofa, away from the living room and into the kitchen. "Come here, Oniichan, I need to speak to you."
"S-so? What's up?"
"Shouldn't you apologize first?"
"Um, s-sorry." I'm not sure why exactly I'm apologizing, but in order to preserve my life, let's go with it for now.
"Hmph. Well that's a start, I guess. I'm glad you finally found someone willing to put up with you, but I don't know how to feel about it being someone I didn't even know about. She seems sly and untrustworthy. I just can't shake this bad feeling about her." Well isn't that rich, they both think the other is similar to themselves. "Are you sure she's not just using you?"
"Actually, I'm quite certain that I AM being used."
"Guh." Komachi's face turned pale, and a look of disgust immediately took hold of her visage. "You're not THAT desperate, are you? This isn't like you."
"No, that's not I mean. When I say I'm being used, I mean being used as entertainment. Mostly."
Komachi turned her head towards the ground and began stroking her chin, deep in thought. Deciding on some course of action, she turned towards me once again and addressed me.
"Oniichan, you stay here and make some tea. I'm going to test that fox and see what kind of person she REALLY is." With that, Komachi departed in a hurry and seated herself next to Iroha with a serious look on her face.
As I return with three cups of tea in hand, I find myself relegated to the other sofa, as Komachi had claimed my original seat for herself. The two girls were now chatting happily, their earlier tension and animosity seemingly disappearing into thin air.
"What happened? You two look like the best of friends now, even though it looked like you had decades of grudges to settle a minute ago."
"Well, we've kind of come to a mutual understanding." Iroha responded cheerfully.
"What kind of mutual understanding…?" I have a bad feeling about this…
"I asked her two questions." This time Komachi spoke up.
"Two questions?"
"The first one was 'What do you dislike about my Oniichan?' and the second one was 'No really, what do you hate about him?'"
"And so, we came to the mutual conclusion that we hate the same things about you." Iroha explained matter of factly.
"What kind of conclusion is that? What is this abuse? I demand to treated with respect."
"Now now, Oniichan. That's a good thing if you think about it. If we take out what we hate about you, then what's left is what we love about you. So if we hate the same things about you, we have to love the same things about you too."
"No, it feels like there's something wrong with your logic there."
"And so, by the same line of thinking insulting you can be viewed as a compliment, because it's like saying I like everything about you other than what I'm insulting you for, you no good twisted brother of mine."
"No no no, there's definitely something wrong with that logic there!"
"But we're just following the twisted way of thinking you usually use, Hachiman. You rotten, awkward loser." Iroha and Komachi shared a look of triumph, and then had the audacity to high five while beaming smiles at me.
This was a mistake, but not in the way I anticipated it. A grave, grave mistake.
The chime of a bell heralds our arrival, and a rush of warm air escapes the entranceway into the city outside, bringing with it the comforting and ever so appetizing aroma of cheap ramen. The freshly cooked warm noodles warms cold hearts and the deliciously salty soups serve perfectly to replenish sodium lost to the tears of a long and lonely night. Yes, there is no doubt, ramen has been scientifically proven to be the greatest comfort food for loners, like a clear spring that heals our soul. Why then, I wonder, am I walking in here so casually with my girlfriend in tow?
"Wow, smells good!" Iroha's cheerful proclamation seemed to me to be all too loud.
"Ah, yeah…" I silently apologized to all the pairs of eyes that seemed to be glaring our way as I took a seat at a pair of empty spots. I, I'm not a traitor! I haven't changed my loner ways, I swear! There just happened to be someone that actually accepted me for who I am.
"But I'd never have imagined you of all people recommending me ramen places." I shot a comment in Iroha's direction, who was now sitting down next to me. Her slender, smooth legs now rested on the stool, covered only partially by a pair of tight beige shorts. I want to be that stool.
"Well, the first time I came to a restaurant like this with you, the taste was a little too strong for me, but I got kind of curious about this sort of thing, so I went to a couple by myself afterwards." Iroha gave out a response before placing her order. "Ah, Shio please."
"Shoyu for me, gita gita." Now we just wait for our food to be made.
"Just shio still, huh?" I question Iroha while sipping a glass of water.
"Through my many training sessions, I've come to like the subtle flavour of the salt broth in shio ramen, but I apologize as the enjoyment of the profoundly strong flavour of shoyu and high concentrations of super high calorie count fat are still, perhaps forever, beyond my comprehension."
"Well, I really shouldn't be complaining. For a girl to share my understanding of the wonders of ramen is already a remarkable sight. Women like Shiratsuka sensei are the exception and not the rule after all."
Soon both of our orders arrived and two new faces of bliss were born as we slurped our noodles. Not only was the soup rich and thick, but the texture and flavour of the chashu perfectly blended with the broth. Not bad, Iroha, I'll have to remember this place's name, Santouka, was it? Seriously, forget little sisters, if game consoles included chashu as extras I'm sure you could guarantee even more sales!
"Actually, Hachiman, I have something to talk to you about." Iroha addressed me in between bites of her ramen.
"Sure. What about?"
"Well… I don't know how to say this but don't you have any complaints about how our relationship is?"
"Hah? Not particularly, what are you talking about…?"
"W, what I'm trying to say is—" I turned my head to see Iroha wearing a flustered and worried expression. Did I do something wrong again…? "What I'm trying to say is, I've been pretty harsh lately. I've teased you ever since we've known each other but recently it's been nothing but that and insults coming from me. You don't banter back as much as you did before, I was worried about what you thought of me…" Iroha turned her head to avoid my gaze as I was searching for the right words. Seriously, what's going on in this girl's head?
"Um… thanks for the concern, but I'm fine. I'll regret saying this later, but I actually like how you tease me, you know."
"Don't try to hide it, Hachiman. I kind of went overboard that time I came to your house, Komachi was there and we fed off of each other and got meaner and meaner. You looked kind of down for the rest of that day even though you were supposed to be enjoying spending time with your girlfriend." Iroha averted her gaze again and fidgeted with her hands for a while before continuing. "So, sorry… I've been a bad girlfriend. I'm still going to tease you, but I'm going to do more couple-ish things from now on too."
"That's wrong. You're not a bad girlfriend. You came to me to resolve an issue I didn't even consciously realize existed. Plus it was partially my fault for just letting it happen. You're a great girlfriend. The best, even."
"M— mhm."
Neither of us could look each other in the eye afterwards, and the date ended with just the sound of slurping noodles and two blushing faces. Well, this isn't bad either…
Author's Note: Obviously not complete, this'll be lots of separate short stories instead of one big connected chapter. There's still a sense of chronology there, though. I'm not writing about the pair's first time telling the service club about their relationship, at least for now. Sorry. I know a lot of you were looking forward to that but that's a whole 'nother can of drama and I really don't feel like writing it right now. Maybe in the future I'll go back and put a chapter in between, but no guarantees.
Update Sept.16: Phew, haven't updated in a while, university means I'll update way less often. Also I'd like to potentially pursue other avenues of writing, no promises. Having Iroha go and learn the arts of ramen on her own is a stretch, but hey what can I say I went to a few ramen places and had the urge to write things about ramen. Also if you don't eat ramen regularly you will have no idea about the terminology used, I recommend wikipedia if you're concerned about that. Also an attempt at soft resetting the relationship was made, since I realize it'll be slightly difficult to progress with normal writing after going slightly too far with my masochist tendencies in the previous update.