It is time for our favorite (Our least favorite, if you will) Death Eaters to finally arrive at their destination. What awaits them...Will it amuse, enrage, or just terrify the crap out of them? Let's find out!

Parseltongue is in italics.

Thoughts are in italics.

I don't own Harry Potter, Pokemon, Charlie the Unicorn, Batman, Disney, Disney World or any of its rides or characters, Facebook, any of songs in this story, or Twilight.

Chapter Four: Welcome to Your Doom, Voldy

The rest of the plane ride did not include another death. It did, however, result in Draco annoying the man in front of him so much that they both had to be moved and Draco's mouth was covered in duct tape, Snape almost snatching up the butter knife to kill himself with it (But then he remember Lily wouldn't like that very much, so he restrained himself), and Voldemort being scarred for life.

But no one really cared about Voldemort. Except for Bellatrix, who was the one who mentally mauled him in the first place. Poor ugly, bald, creepy, disgusting Dark Lord.

"Lord Voldemort is none of those things!" said Voldemort to no one in particular. Yes, Voldemort could read the narration. Dang. Oh well, it's not like he can curse me, right?

"YOU KNOW I WOULD SO DO THAT IF I HAD THE ABILITY!"

"Face it, massster," Nagini hissed. "You don't have the ability to do much of anything. You were defeated by a one-year-old."

"I am all-powerful!"

Says the Man Who Let the Boy Live. Anyways...

"I HATE YOU, STUPID NARRATOR!"

That's Miss Stu--I mean Brilliant Narrator to you, Frenchie. Who chooses a French name, anyways?

"URRGGGHHH!"

"What is it, My Lord?" Bellatrix/Stalkertrix asked eagerly. "Shall I kill something for you?"

"No, no, I'm fine! No need to be anywhere near you, thank you very much!" He shook his head and muttered to himself. "In times like these I would prefer Quirrel. Sure, I had to watch him take a dump daily, but at least he was cool!"

"What was that, My Lord?"

"Nothing!"

They were driving in a capacious bus that managed to fit every Death Eater who had come along (They had promptly killed the driver upon boarding. Poor bloke. Gotta hate those Death Eaters). Snape, at the wheel, had the mien of a tortured man, wondering just how the bloody fudge had Dumbledore managed to talk him into this. Bellatrix was hanging on Voldemort, Voldemort was pushing her away, Wormtail was eating something that looked suspiciously like kibble, Yaxley was arguing with Mulciber and Dolohov about ninjas, and Draco was leafing through a copy of Breaking Dawn and Lucius was lecturing him about manliness or masculinity or whatever the heck you want to call it.

"It's all about three things," said Lucius to his wayward, creepy son. "First off, it takes a real man to wear tights--"

"Actually," Draco broke in. "it takes a real man to sparkle."

"Where in the name of Grindelwald did you get that absurd notion?" Draco held up the novel in his hand. Lucius looked unconvinced. "You will get no ideas from that piece of Mudblood garbage!"

"I disagree with both of you," said Yaxley. "Real men play Pokemon. No doubt about it."

"I love Pokemon!" Goyle exclaimed. "Even though Bulbasaur sounds a lot like Dumbledore."

'WHO DARES TO SAY THAT NAME ON OUR VACATION?!" Voldemort bellowed furiously. He jabbed his wand at Goyle. "Was it you?!"

"It'll never happen again!" Goyle swore.

"IT BETTER NOT!" For good measure, Bellatrix unnecessarily started chanting about burning Goyle. Goyle backed away, looking fearful of the psycho , Goyle, Mulciber, and Dolohov continued a conversation about the coolest and most powerful starter Pokemon in the video games. Snape, still behind the wheel and driving through a highway surrounded by orange groves, he plotted what and how to inform Dumbledore about the current predicament.

I could send a Patronus, of course, Snape thought. But that'll be hard to hide from these dunderheads. Owls will have difficulties flying over the vast ocean...I could just send him updates via Facebook. And then I must remember to delete my activities from He-Who-Has-A-Hyphenated-Name. Yes, and I also must become a fan of hexes and...dolphins and...pastries...

Voldemort decided to protect himself for Bellatrix and chat with Wormtail instead. For surely Bellatrix would be warded off by Wormtail's revolting stench? And she was. Catching a whiff of the rat Animagus, she backed away swiftly. Voldemort hissed in triumph.

But he had hissed too soon. On their right, a blue and white castle sat, cheerily and outlandishly, in the center of a massive theme park. Everything was brightly colored and full of joy...and joyness! And that was the exact opposite of what any true Death Eater would want. Almost everyone was astonished by what they saw.

"What...What in the name of my twelve Horcruxes is this?!" said Voldemort. Yes, you heard right. Twelve Horcruxes, not six or seven. What a creep. I wonder what the other Horcruxes are?

Anyways.

Voldemort and his Death Eaters (Changed my mind. That's not a cool band name, it's just wrong) clambered off the battered old bus and strode through the park gates, holding the tickets Snape had bought for them. These guys would be nowhere without their bat-like Potions Master. Maybe he's Batman, saving the world from psychotic dunderheads! Even though Batman has no powers and is mega rich. Of course, Severus Snape was cooler than Batman but--Dang it, I'm getting off-topic!

So Voldemort and pals all scanned their tickets and entered the park. The security guards hardly glanced at them. After all, this was Disney World. Only Quirrel and his topsy-turvy turban would've been barred from that place. Voldemort and the other dunderheads plus Snape all trotted down Main Street, U.S.A. with looks of distaste on their faces.

"Why is everyone so...happy?" Crabbe asked, fidgeting subconsciously with his black cloak. They had all worn long-sleeved, black, unisex robes in the middle of Florida. These guys were totally a few tacos short of a combination plate.

"No idea," Dolohov responded.

"Can we go shop?" Narcissa asked, speaking for the first time that day.

"No!" Voldemort shouted. "Lord Voldemort says we shall all go on Splash Mountain!"

Everyone cheered, but not everyone was happy.

"I don't get this," Wormtail said once they were submersed in darkness on the log ride. "Why is everything all dark?"

"I don't know," said Snape, sarcasm dripping off his silky voice. "Maybe those two fat Americans that were in the line behind us are about to impale us with plastic forks from that hot dog stand, or perhaps something as absurd as that notion?"

"Dude, you're right! That's a scary thought! ...Aww great, Severus, you made me wet my pants!"

"Idiot."

Right behind them, Bellatrix embraced Voldemort chokingly. "Lord Sexymort, hold on the me!"

"And just why should I do that?" Voldemort question was answered as Bellatrix severed his restraints, leaving him no way to hold on as they plunged down the very deep, gigantic drop. "HOLY CANNOLIS!" Voldemort shrieked as he hung on to Bellatrix for dear life.

Down at the bottom, Bellatrix wrung out her hair with a animalistic grin as Voldemort brushed the water off of his bald head, glowering at his best lieutenant, who was incredibly infuriating.

In the background, two little boys were whining their tiny mouths off as their parents still refused to but them ice cream. A young couple was sitting on a bench, making out for all to see. Two blond teenage girls were shooting paintballs at the man in a Donald Duck suit as they sang that "I've Got a Lovely Bunch of Coconuts." Security was nowhere to be seen.

Lucius glanced at the other group's pictures. Wormtail's urine stain was quite apparent as his mouth formed a screaming O, Snape looked bored out of his mind, and Voldemort, looking rather bullied, was clutching to Bellatrix for dear undead life.

Sighing beside him, Snape yanked out his cell phone and texted a short "What's up" to Dumbledore. He decided to look on the very bleak bright side: It couldn't get worse, right?

Nickel for every time I've heard someone say that...

Wolf: Cameos by the two main OC characters in the story! What will happen next? Will Draco find a girlfriend that detests him? Will Voldemort shake off Bellatrix? Will Wormtail realize he's an idiot? Will Snape go insane?

Only time will tell!

...That sounds kind of cliché.