A few years before... (?)
Sly dropped into the police station from the roof and cautiously walked down the halls. He found the office of Inspector Carmelita Montoya Fox; a vibrant red door in the bland hallway.
The opened window right beside the door that lead to a fire escape just said "break in, Sly".
Literally, there was a sign that said that right next to the window. Right next to the blue trail that Sly was pretty certain was just a figment of his imagination and that maybe he was losing his mind.
He slipped out the window and shimmeyed across to the other open window. He then carefully stepped into Carmelita's office.
The safe was there, right in front of him! He crouched down next to it.
"Bentley, do you read? What's the combo?"
"The combo is I wanna bang you."
"... Bentley, please."
"Fine fine." Bentley told Sly the combo, and Sly opened the safe. He pulled out the case file that was marked "Sly Cooper" and grinned.
"Freeze, Cooper!"
Sly sighed and stood, turning slowly to face Carmelita Fox, who stood in the window aiming at him her shock pistol WHICH EVEN BACK THEN PACKED A PARALYZING PUNCH.
"Hello, Carmelita. How nice to see you again."
"Don't flatter me, the pleasure's all mine."
Sly raised a brow.
"... Erm, I mean, all yours. I hate you, ringtail, now put these damn cuffs on so I can trap you against that lamp and feel your fit, raccoon body- I mean, arrest you."
"... Eh heh heh heh no."
"Aww..." Carmelita pouted, but shook it off. Suddenly she noticed Sly was gone.
"What the.."
She saw the door was open. "MALDITO SEAS, COOPER!"
Sly dived into the truck. Bentley prepared to start driving, but suddenly Sly gasped and looked horrified.
"What? What's wrong, my handsome raccoon l- I mean friend!?"
"I-I..."
"You what?"
Sly looked at Bentley with the most crushed expression ever; his brown-orange eyes glistening from tears as he put his fingers up to his mouth nervously. "I forgot to leave Carmelita a calling card... Do you think she'll mind?"
"Oh Sly. You're really sexy, but sometimes I just don't understand you."
"So where are we going first, Bentley?" Sly asked, an innocent smile on his face.
Bentley blushed a little. Sly was so... *cute* to him. Always had been.
Alas, unfortunately for poor Bentley, Sly was like a walking love potion for guys.
Tough guys. Smart guys. Stupid guys. Fat guys. You name it; if it's male, the second it lays eyes on Sly; BAM, it's madly in love with the Cooper descendant.
Not that Sly approved of this. Oh no, there were times when the poor raccoon cried himself to sleep over it.
"Bentley?"
Bentley looked at Sly. The raccoon's smile had faded and in its place was a concerned frown.
Sly didn't know Bentley *really* had feelings for him. If he did, he'd probably ditch, and Bentley didn't want that, so he just pretended to not have feelings for him. Luckily though when he did slip up and say something implying otherwise, Sly took it as a joke.
"Uh, oh yeah. Sorry, just thinking about things so the reader(s) will understand more about why everyone's gay for you."
"Ah, okay. But where are we going?"
"Oh. We're, uh, going to this swamp-like place so you can steal some pages of the Thievius Raccoonus back from Raleigh."
"There isn't any chance this Raleigh is a transvestite female."
"Unfortunately not."
"Darn."