Chapter 4

DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of the characters used in this story that honour belongs to J K Rowling and the Warner Brothers.

Note: From now on there will be graphic self-harm scenes and are not for the light hearted.

Harry was surrounded by the people dearest to him looking livid "What have you done Harry?" whispered his mother's voice.

"You have shamed our family" said his fathers. "I would have thought you were better than this"

"He killed me because you let him do it. Why didn't you stop him? Why didn't you save me?" Snarled an angry Cedric.

"No, Cedric No, I couldn't stop him. CECRIC PLEASE" Harry shouted in return so he could hear him. The ghostly figures turned their backs and walked away leaving him to the mercy of the dark lord. "No, NO!" Harry yelled.

…

Harry woke up and sat upright. It was the second night in a row he had woken in a cold sweat shivering, his clothes that he was wearing drenched, his scar once again throbbing. Harry sat and thought for a few minutes before he picked up a spare change of clothes knowing that he wouldn't go back to sleep and stood up before making his way to the door and trying the handle. It was open, so he made his way to the bathroom and sat down on the stool in front of the mirror.

Putting his crutches to one side, Harry looked at his pale face in the mirror which sat in front of him. It's my fault Cedric is dead Harry thought, it is my fault he's returned, no one else is to blame. I was the one who was there on that graveyard that night, I had the power to stop him but I didn't, I stood there and watched it all happen. I deserve to be punished.

Harry looked for the scissors in the bathroom cabinet and opened them wide so that the sharp point was dominant. He looked at his pale, already scared forearm, pressed the sharp edge gently onto the delicate skin before adding force to the scissors and slitting the skin across his wrist. Light red blood rose to the cut like red raindrops and spilled out over his hand and onto the floor.

Every drop of blood splashing on the white floor was a person he had let down; the guilt was draining away. The pain was satisfying as if he deserved it, as if it was the pain of lost loved ones. For a few moments he was relieved of his pain for everything. And as the blood dried and the scar started to form Harry felt his guilt lifted, he didn't know how long it would last but it was something.

A particularly loud snore brought Harry back to reality, he didn't know how long he had been sitting there so he quickly cleaned up the pool of blood with a hand towel and got changed into his clothes, slipping the scissors in his pocket. He washed out the hand towel and put it in the wash basket, before leaving the bathroom and making his way back to his room.

When he opened the door he had a big shock, Hedwig was waiting patiently with a letter. At once Harry recognised who it was from by the handwriting on the front. He went over and sat down on his bed before untying the letter from Hedwig. Hedwig then flew up onto his shoulder and nibbled his ear. Harry ripped the envelope open and took out the thick parchment along with an article from the daily prophet. He looked at the letter first it read:

"Harry,

I have some wonderful news, you may have seen the article from the prophet a few days ago, if not I have enclosed a copy. Anyway, to the point, I have been cleared of all my charges and I am a free man. Pettigrew was captured by none other than my fellow marauder Remus. I won't go into details as I should hope to see you very soon.

I would like for you to stay with Remus and I for the remainder of the summer, I have heard what happened to you today and I don't want to hold this off any longer (though Dumbledore still protests you will be 'safer' with the muggles)

Remus and I will pick you up midday on the 31st July (your birthday – we will have a proper celebration). Try to get your things together before then, I am going to explain to the muggles what is happening when I arrive. We are going to a secret location so I can't tell you where we are going.

I will see you shortly

Padfoot"

Harry was overwhelmed with mixed feelings, for the first time in days he felt happy and free but on the other hand he couldn't let Sirius see him the mental state he was in. What was he going to do? He thought for a few moments, Harry would have to lie to him, cover up how he was feeling with a fake smile. Harry hated lying, he thought it was unnatural.

Harry glanced at his clock 5:34, he had a few hours to get ready. Hedwig flew into her cage as if she knew what was happening as Harry started to gather his things together and putting his things in a pile on the floor ready to put into his trunk which was under his bed. The process was slow as he could only carry one thing at a time.

Soon enough he had collected everything together and he sat down on the floor packing his things back in his trunk which he hadn't touched since he returned from Hogwarts. By the time Harry heard the first signs of movement from the next room he only had to put away his damp clothes which he'd sort out at Sirius' place.

Harry made sure his scissors were undetectable at the bottom of his trunk before sitting back onto is bed and waiting. He refused to go down to breakfast, Mr Dursley was surely still livid with him, he wasn't hungry anyway. Harry kept looking at his clock every few minutes. Every minute that passed seemed like an hour and every time an hour went seemed like a day.

Harry was nearly dropping to sleep when he heard a knock at the door.

NOTE: I hope you have enjoyed, I am going to start uploading every Friday and/or Saturday from now on. Let me know what you think by leaving a review. Thank you for reading!