So I have heard talk of a Beta, something that I need desperately. Haha, I am currently in search, and I really do not know how this works, but I did find the beta section, but I also wanted to just throw this out there…

Anyone want to be my beta? Go ahead and just let me know, and you will make me a happy camper. Until then I continue to apologize for my spelling, grammar, est.

Oh boy, I have a lot of thanks that I want to send out there. I think I have just figured out the whole E-mail thing, so I hope to write to everyone who has reviewed so far, and tell them that they are awesome.

I had a lot of good guesses on why Edward is upset. Go ahead and read to see if you got it right!

I do not own Twilight, but I do own a pair of fluffy white slippers.

Chapter 4- Blow Out

I froze. My eyes widened, my limbs stiffen and although I had stopped breathing, my heart started to race out of control. I hoped beyond all hope that if I just did not move, if I stood really still…

"Why are you guys in my room?" I heard Edward say, crushing my unrealistic hope.

Slowly I turned around, glancing at Alice as I did so. She looked just as alarmed as I did. Good, it was her fault we were in here. Why did I listen to her? I should have just given her those damn shoes and kicked her out. Finally as I finished my very hesitant turn, I gulped when I saw Edward.

He did not look full out angry, more of a quiet anger; like a menacing threat within the shadow. However it made me all the more panicked. He wore the same dark green hoddie that he had worn on his first arrival. Underneath the hoodie he wore a fitted dark maroon colored shirt, which rested right above his black jeans. In his right hand he held another six pack of beer, and in his left hand he help a McDonald's bag; the grease stains already marking the bag.

When my eyes reached his face I had to let out a sad little sigh. I knew how beautiful he could be, and it pained me to see him be turned into such a tattered beauty. The dark circles which I had seen on his first day were now even more pronounced. Although he may have been spending all his time in his bedroom, he was clearly not getting any sleep. It looked like he had given up on shaving all together, and the light stubble that I had seen a week earlier was growing more defined.

At least he seemed to be taking showers, or that is what I could tell by his clean hair. However it looked like he had given up all together on even attempting to tame his hair, leaving it completely at a disarray. The only thing left that held Edward's true splendor were his green eyes. Though at this particular moment they held anger in them, they were still absolutely beautiful.

"What are you doing in my room?" he asked again, speaking slowly to make sure we had heard him.

"We were checking your water pressure." I said too quickly.

"Yeah!" piped in Alice, "You need the right amount of water pressure in order to relax properly, or something like that." Alice looked at me, "Isn't that what we heard Bella."

"That is correct." I tried to clam down my breath. I was a horrible liar, I knew it, Alice knew it, and by the look on Edward's face, he knew it too.

"Water pressure?" he asked, raising one eye brow. Did he look slightly entertained? Or was that just the lighting?

"Yep." I squeaked.

A full agonizing minuet went by, and yet no one said a word. The air in the room seemed to have grown stale, even if there was a window open.

"Well," said Alice, looking over at me, a cowardly smile on her face. "I think I'm going to head home. I'm expecting a phone call from Jasper tonight; I would not want to miss it." She walked over to Edward and patted him on the shoulder; she had to reach up to do so. "I'll see you another time Edward, goodbye."

Edward gave her a nod, and then went back to starting at me. However I was too busy glaring at Alice to pay any attention to him. 'Don't do it.' I said in my mind. 'Don't you leave me here to face him!'

Alice mouthed me an "I'm sorry".

'Traitor!' I yelled in my mind, 'you get back here, you damn little pixy traitor'. With one last apologetic smile she bolted out the door. I could hear the front door closing a few seconds later. Shit.

"So how is my water pressure then?" I heard Edward say, there was definitely some amusement in his voice.

Shit, shit, shit. "Umm, good?" Gah! Why did that have to come out like a question? Couldn't I just lie properly like a normal human bean?

"Good," his voice went flat, "then if you are finished checking that everything is working properly, you can leave."

I did not move, "Edward,"

"Don't." he cut me off. All amusement had disappeared from him.

"Edward we need to talk about this." I looked around the room and at the six-pack in his hand.

"We don't need to talk about anything." He said, making his way past me to the small night stand, kicking at the trash on the floor.

"This is not healthy." I my voice set; I was ready to argue if I needed to.

Edward ripped a beer away from the carrier. "I don't really give a damn about my health right now." With a loud snap, he opened the beer can and stared to drink.

I marched over to him and snatched the can away from him. I grabbed the other beers and walked out of the room, heading to the kitchen.

"What the hell?" I heard Edward say in disbelief behind me, too stunned to realize what I had just done. By the time realization had donned on him, and had followed me, I had already begun emptying out the beer cans.

"What are you doing?" he yelled from behind me.

"Sorry, but I would prefer to talk to you while you are sober." I said simply, while I trashed the now empty cans.

"I am not talking to you." He said through gritted teeth.

I turned around, and was a little surprised by how close he was to me. I took a step back only to be trapped by the counter. I took a deep breath and said, "Yes you are. We can talk either here or in the living room, I would rather we sit in the living room, make myself comfortable, because I have a feeling this is going to be a while."

Edward narrowed his eyes at me. "What if I don't talk?"

"Fine" I said loudly. "Then I'll talk, but you sure as hell are going to listen to me." I glared right back at him.

We had a staring match for a few second, then Edward let out an irritated sigh and mumbled, "Man, you are stubborn."

"Yeah," I said as I headed over the large couch, "It is only one of my many charming qualities."

I sat on the couch and looked up at Edward. He just looked down at me, unsure as to what to do. I patted the seat next to me, trying to encourage him. After a hesitant instant, he sat down.

"Loren." I said, wanting to see his reaction to the name. Just as I expected his brows furrowed and a dark feeling over took his demeanor. "Is a bitch." I finished.

He looked up at me with a questioning look on his face. "Jasper already told us." I told him, "How she cheated on you with your friends, and how you left everything behind." Edward looked at the floor and began to glare. "And I am sorry, I truly am." I said in a very soft voice. "No one deserves to go through that, to louse and be betrayed by everyone that you had loved. I understand that it takes time heal, but what you are doing is not the way."

"How would you know?" asked Edward, his voice coarse. "Have you even been cheated on by the one you thought you were going to spend the rest of your life with?"

"No," I said quietly. "But I have been hurt, and I have been betrayed." I saw shame over take his face as he looked up at me. I shook my head. "That is for another time. But what I'm trying to say is that I know what it is like to heal. Trust me, it seems a lot harder then it really is."

"But I loved her; I thought we were going to get married." he said, although if it was direct towards me or to himself, I didn't know.

""If all else perished, and he remained, I should still continue to be; and if all else remained, and he were annihilated, the universe would turn to a mighty stranger"" I said. "It's from Wuthering Heights."

"I know where it is from," he said, looking up at me. "Why are you quoting it?"

"Well, is the universe a might stranger to you?" I asked, cautious as to how I worded what I was trying to say.

"But I've lost everything," he said quietly.

"Yeah, but have you lost the purpose of what makes your world go on? Do you continue to be?" I held my breath, hoping that he was taking me seriously.

"I do continue." I said firmly, with a hint of surprise in his voice. "Loren is not my other half."

I leaned back into the couch a smile on my face. "Good, I believe we call that an epiphany."

"No," Edward said slowly, "I think I've always kind of know. My parents were old fashioned; get married and start a family as soon as possible kind of a thing." Edward started to shake his head, and let out a dry laugh, "I always told them that they messed me up by raising me as if we were from the early 1900's."

"There are some good values to learn from the early 1900's, like you always held the door open for any girl back in high school." I reasoned.

Edward took a deep breath, and leaned back into the couch. "I probably would have realized this sooner if Loren wouldn't keep call me."

"What?" I said, shocked by this new revelation. "How long has she been calling you?"

"Everyday." I saw Edward's face darken. I knew something was wrong.

"Why douse she keep calling you?" I asked.

"At first it was to apologize, telling me she loved me, and how we were meant to be together." He laughed. "She said she just wanted to talk to me, face to face." Edward went back to glaring at the floor. "But then she started saying that she was going to burn everything I had left. I told her to go ahead, that I had brought everything that I wanted." I saw Edward's face start to contort in pain. "But then she reminded me that I forgot to bring one thing with me."

I waited for him to continue as he stopped and took a deep breath. "My parents died about five years back."

"Oh Edward," I gasped; I leaned over and grabbed his hand, "I'm so sorry."

He gave me a feeble smile, "It's alright, I have dealt with it." He took another sturdy breath, "My house back in Forks caught on fire; it took them and almost everything with it. Only a few things remained; some pictures, my old baby blanket, my mom's engagement ring. She must have taken it off for some reason, because it was not by where they were."

My heart broke as I saw Edward try to regain control. "Everything that I have left, I keep in a box. I forgot that box back in Portland, and now Loren is threatening to trash what's in there if I don't go down to see her."

"What?" I yelled. And I thought I was just dealing with a broken heart here. "She can't do that! Would she do that?"

"I have seen Loren upset before," he looked over cautiously at me, and I knew he was referring to the party. "And she douses not always play fair."

"But if she is trying to prove to you that she," I put my hands up and made quotation marks, "Loves you" I folded my arms, "then how douse she think that this will help her case?"

"I don't know, Loren was never… stable." Edward looked off, probably thinking back to all the times Loren had gone crazy on him.

"Why did you stay with this chick?" I asked, not really expecting an answer.

"I thought that was what you were supposed to do, marry your high school sweet heart." He shrugged.

"I always knew she was a bitch," I mumbled as Edward rolled his eyes. "So what are you going to do? You have to go back and get your box." Whether Loren was going to destroy it or not, the fact was that inside that box were the last mementoes that Edward had of his family, he needed to get it.

"That is what I have been debating." Edward sighed, "She has been threatening me for about two weeks, and I don't know how much longer I can push my luck with her. I already tried reasoning with her to just send it to me, but she said that she wants to speak to me face to face." Edward looked at me, a slight desperate look on his face. "I can't see her; at least I can't go on my own. I was going to tell Jasper about this, and see if he could come with me, but now he is out of town…"

"I'll go with you." I said.

"What?" said both Edward and that little voice inside my head.

"I'll go with you and give you moral support." I feel my cheeks start to blush, what if he said he didn't need me, or want me there.

"Would you do that?" I heard Edward whisper, a stunned look on his face.

"Yeah," I waved my hand as if is was literally brushing away his question, "I just have to double check with Rose to make sure that I don't have any meetings for the next couple days, and we could drive down, it is only a couple hour dive. We could actually leave first thing in the morning as long as we pack tonight."

I made sure to keep my voice light, trying to make it sound more hopeful, instead of the panic from rejection that I truly felt. I waited for Edward to respond, but instead he just stared at me.

"I mean, if you do not want me to go with you, if you want to wait for Jasper that's cool. I don't have to go…" I let my voice trail off. What was I thinking? I could not just invite myself to go on what was sure to be a very emotional trip.

"No, no," Edward said quickly, "That would be great to have you come. I'm just surprised." I felt my face flame as Edward stared at, trying to look for something.

"What?" I let out a nervous laugh, "You don't think I have a nice side to me."

Edward gave me a small smile, not the one that I remembered, but it was still enough to bring some life back into his face. "No, I'm surprised that you would do that for me, especially after everything I did."

"Oh…" I said quietly, "Yeah, well you don't have to worry about that right now, you have more important thing for you to be concerned with." I looked down at the floor; I was going to have to put my own issues to the side right now.

"Bella, that has been a concern of mine for over 10 years, we need to talk about this." I could hear the true concern in his voice, and I knew he was not lying.

"I don't want to talk about it right now." Just a few hours ago I had been set to just sit down and talk it out with him, and now I just wanted to say good night and hide in my room again.

"Fine," Edward said imitating me from earlier, "Then I'll talk, but you will listen." I could just hear the smile in his voice.

"Well aren't you stubborn." I said, repeating what Edward has said earlier.

"Yes it's a quality that I find very charming." I looked up and saw Edward grinning at me.

"You just want to get everything out in the open, don't you?" I said unable to stop myself from grinning right back.

Edward just shrugged and said simply, "I figure it's about time."

"Alright if we are really going to this, then I need to go get a cup of tea to help replenish my energy." I stood up and headed to the kitchen.

I stirred my tea around in the cup, trying to mix the sugar I had just added. I took a gulp and enjoyed the burning liquid travel down my throat. I grabbed my cell out of my pocket, and pressed speed dial for Rosalie.

Three rings went by before she answered, "Hello, Rosalie Hale speaking."

"Hello, Bella Swan speaking," I answered back.

"Oh, hey Bella what's up?"

"Is that Bella?" I heard Emmett say through the line.

"Yes it's Bella," responded Rosalie.

"Tell her I say hi!" Emmett said eagerly.

"Bella, Emmett says hi."

"HI Bella!" I heard Emmett scream into the phone.

"Ow Emmett that was ear!"

"Oh, sorry Rosie, here let me kiss it and make it better."

I heard Rose star to giggle, and let out a little moan, "Rose, I did not call to hear something I would off a 900 number!" I yelled.

"Oops, sorry Bella, what's up?"

"Nothing," I sighed, "I was just checking with you to see if I had any meetings that I needed to be at for the next couple of days."

"Nope, not till next week. Why, are you planning to go somewhere?" I could practically hear the wheals in her head turning. Rose basically controlled my schedule and always knows where I was going.

"Yeah, I'm going to Portland with Edward tomorrow." I tried to say as casually as I could.

"What? When did that happen?" I had been keeping Rose up to date with all the details on the whole Edward situation.

"Just now, I'll explain more when I have a chance, I'm about to go talk to him about the whole party/high school thing."

"Wow, well good luck with that."

"Thanks. Hey, could you call Alice and fill her in for me; she just left me hanging when Edward caught us in his room."

"What, you were snooping in his room?"

"Just call Alice, she will fill you in. I've got to go; I'll call you tomorrow when I get in to Portland ok?"

"Ok, just be safe."

I smiled, as I heard her concern. "Will do, bye."

I hung up my phone, grabbed my cup, and headed back to the couch; ready for round two.

"So did I hear something about a 900 number?" asked Edward, I could tell he was trying to stop himself from laughing.

"I was talking to Rose, my agent, and when you meet her you'll understand." I took a moment to think exactly how Edward would fit in my group of friends. With Edward it would finally make it and even amount of guys and girls. Well the guys would be relieved that they were not out numbered by the girls now.

"Bella," I heard Edward say. I looked over at him, and it felt like I was in high school Biology all over again, waiting to hear his explanation; only this time I was prepared to be disappointed. He took a breath and slowly let it out, "I am sorry." And he was, I could hear it in his voice that he was sorry, but right now it just did not seem to be enough.

"I…I don't," Edward let out a disbelieving laugh. "I have been practicing this for over 10 years, so that if I ever had a chance to sit you down and apologize and explain, you would receive the truest apology that you deserve." He looked at me; the intensity of his green eyes did not allow me to question him. "Bella, I am so sorry. I was young and stupid; you deserved to have been treated much better then that." He closed his eyes and shook his head, releasing me from his grasp. "But I don't want to blame my actions on adolescence."

"Why," I said quietly, "Why did you even invite me in the first place?"

"I did want you there Bella, I really did." Edward leaned closer to me. "I had even imagined how I wanted it to go. You were supposed to show up, and dazzle them with… well, you just being you."

"So it's my fault that I did not 'dazzle' them as you had planned?" I could feel the old anger rise in my chest.

"No," Edward said swiftly, "What I had not planned on were for my friends to react the way they did. I had thought they were going to be more open, to be more…"

"Like you," I said for him. "Ok, I get that then. I understand the expectations you had for them, but what happened when I needed your help; what happened when I needed you to full fill the expectations I had for you?"

Edward's face fall as he saw my eyes start to water, "I'm sorry Bella. I know I can never say it enough, but I am sorry." Edward looked down at his lap, too ashamed to meet my gaze. "Here is where I do not have an excuse. When I saw you there, and when I realized what was happening, my first instinct was to go along with what I knew was safe, and going along with my friends what was safe."

"But what about when you tried to transfer out of our classes? Did you really want to make sure that you were not seen with me?"

"No, Bella, I was too ashamed to go back to class and face you. I thought that you would not want to be stuck sitting next to me after what I did. But when I saw you in the office, and how livid you looked, I told myself that I would apologize to you before the school year ran out, so I stayed."

"Well you didn't reach you goal." I mumbled bitterly.

"Nothing I came up with seemed to be a sufficient apology." He said gently, "I wanted to make it right."

I wanted to tell him that he had shattered my high school experience, to tell him how many times I had cried over feeling like an idiot, or how many times I had question myself afterwards. And yet, I could understand what he was telling me.

I could sit here and judge and scrutinized at what he had done wrong, but if the situations were reversed, if I had been the one who had to introduce the outsider to my friends after seeing them already not reacting well to them; would I have been any different from Edward. I could go ahead and tell myself, that I am bigger person, that I would have been at my outsider friend's side at a moments notice. But the truth remained that I would never know how I would have reacted. So who was I to judge? All I could do right now was to accept his apology, and try to become his friend again, only this time away from the pressure of high school.

I looked at Edward again, and I could feel the earnestness in his apology. "Bella, I am sorry." He said again, although it was no more then a whisper, I could hear the power from his words.

"It's ok Edward," I said, "I understand, and I accept you apology, thank you."

He leaned away from me, almost a little taken aback. "You do?"

"Yeah, you were not the only one who had 10 years to think about this." I added with a light smile.

"Bella, I'll make it up to you…"

"No," I cut him off, "you don't have to, I really do understand."

Edward leaned back into the couch, and stared at me. "You are too good."

"Not really," let out a malicious smile, "I originally had planed for you to completely recover from the whole break up thing, and the moment when you though you had your life back on track, I was going to crush you with guilt."

Edward smiled, although it did not reach his eyes. "A much more suitable course for dealing with me."

"Yeah, but it's not my style." I shrugged. I looked over at the time, it was already 11pm. "So we should get ready to pack after we're done."

"Done with what?" asked Edward who had followed my lead by standing up stretching.

"Done with cleaning you room." I told him, "Unless you want to smell like a frat boy?"

Edward laughed. A real laugh, one that I had not heard from him since he had moved in. "No, I am do believed that I am finished with that life style."

"Oh, why, it seemed like such a fun way to live." I said sarcastically.

"Beer and fast food gives you the worst stomachache," he said patting his stomach, "You have not seen the bathroom yet, I don't know how many bottles of Pepto Bismol I went through and are lying around in there."

I could not help myself from laughing with him as I went off to help clean his room and pack for the road trip that we would be leaving for first thing tomorrow morning.

SO, I think it is safe to say that you did not see that coming :P Haha. Yes that is why Edward has been doing worse since living with Bella. He needs to go back and get his box, but he really douse not want to see Loren, or go alone. He feels bad about the whole Bella party thing, but like Bella had said, he has more pertinent things to think about.

And don't worry, Bella might have forgiven him, but he has to make it up to her somehow.

Just incase you do not know what 900 numbers are, there just sex talk lines.

The name of the next chapter is "Road Trip"

I hoped you enjoyed. Until next time then… :)