Since I got so many wonderful reviews, I decided to update earlier than I usually do. So here's the next chapter, review if you like and even if you don't. :) Stephanie
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Thanks to: kaligator, alwaysnf0rever, LeytonTilEnd, AngelOfDeath07, lonely girl 23, leytonetreehill, LeytonLover3 for reviewing my last chapter, I really appreciate it guys.
And a special thanks to Simoman for the wonderful comments and encouragement. :)
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Song recommendation: Not Good Enough for Truth in Cliché by Escape the Fate
Book recommendation: The Pact by Jodi Picoult - it's really an amazing book guys! Read it, I'm sure you won't be disappointed.
Quote: To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing it's best, day and night, to make you everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight, and never stop fighting. -- E.E. Cummings.
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"You know, you don't have to go back today if you don't want to." Lucas said as he gathered his bag.
Peyton sighed, "I know, but it's been three days, I need to get back. Besides, there isn't much for me to do around here other than sleep and watch movies."
Lucas nodded, "Did you take your prescription today? You may fall asleep during class if you did." Lucas laughed.
"Yes I did, I'd rather fall asleep than be wincing all day long." She pointed out as she hit him with her pillow.
These were the times that he liked. Lucas loved the times that Peyton joked around and was happy, but for some reason this time seemed different. He knew that she wasn't herself lately and that this Peyton that he was seeing right now, was probably fake. She was probably just acting to be okay; but there was no way he would get her to admit that. Lucas really didn't expect her to be goofing around; he would blame her if she didn't come out of her room for a month either. But as he watched her cover her bruises with make-up, he felt his heart twinge again. As much as Peyton told him to stop worrying about not saving her, he couldn't help but not. Ever since her dad had started taking extended trips on the sea, he took over to protect her and help her in any way that he could. And he had failed, well at least according to Lucas. But watching her cover her up her bruises made him want to find Derek and beat the hell out of him.
"Are you ready to go?" Lucas asked grabbing his bag and shaking his thoughts out of his mind.
"As ready as I'll ever be." She said before walking out to Lucas' truck.
The drive seemed to take forever which only made Peyton more nervous.
Lucas grabbed her arm as they walked into the school. "Now if you…" Lucas trailed off, looking at her face; the attempt Peyton had made at covering her bruises had not helped much. "If you want to go home early, just let me know."
"Thanks Luke." She said before walking to her locker.
Suddenly her bubbly brunette friend was next to her, "Where have you been? I haven't seen you in almost a week." She asked almost impatiently.
Peyton closed her locker and turned towards Brooke.
"Who has been using you as their punching bag P. Sawyer?" Brooke joked but Peyton turned stark white. "Get into a fight I didn't know about?"
But Peyton was already fighting against the crowd to get out of the school.
"Peyton!" Brooke called after her, but it was no use. "I'll have to talk to her later." She said as she made her way to first period. Lucas was already there and she sat down in her seat in front of him as the bell rang and everyone came hurrying in so they wouldn't be late.
"Hi Luke."
"Hi."
After their brief conversation Brooke turned back around and stared broadly ahead for a few minutes before Luke tapped her on the shoulder and she turned around to see what he wanted.
"Have you seen Peyton?" Lucas asked, gesturing to the empty seat next to Brooke.
"Yeah but she was leaving. I'm going to have to call her later and see what is going on with her. Oh, have you seen her face? I told her it looked like someone used her for their punching bag."
Lucas groaned as a realization hit him; no one had told Brooke. He sure as hell wasn't going to tell her right now; she would get hysterical in front of everyone.
"You didn't actually tell her that right?" Lucas said.
"Of course I did, I just want to know who she got in a fight with. Ooh! Maybe it was Rachel. I hope Peyton knocked that bitch back to where she belong. And hopefully she had to buy a new nose." Brooke said before turning back around.
Lucas sighed, 'It is definitely going to be a long day. I wonder where Peyton went, Brooke said she was leaving.' Lucas thought as their Current Events teacher came in the room
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Peyton ran as fast as she could away from the school. She ran until she thought her lungs would burst; she ran until she thought her heart was going to pound out of her chest or her knees would give out; she ran until she got to the place she had been meaning to visit.
"Hi mom, it's Peyton I just wanted to tell you that I was okay. Lucas has been taking great care of me since Dad has been away. I really miss you though; why'd you have to leave? There are so many things that I need you to be here for and you're not." Peyton said angrily throwing herself on the ground.
"I don't think your mother would have ever left you if she had the power. I'm pretty sure she fought as hard a she could to stay with you. But I know that she is watching you and she can hear you and you really shouldn't lie to her." Whitey said, coming into view.
"Whitey? What are you doing here?"
"I seen you run out of the school and I thought you might have come here."
It was quiet for a few minutes and Whitey didn't push Peyton to say anything; she finally spoke up on her own.
"Whitey, have you ever felt like you're not going to make it through all of this?"
He nodded, "All the time, especially after Camilla died. I really didn't know what I was going to do. But I shut everyone out; didn't let them help me. In the end it only made things worse. I spent too much time worrying over a darn game that took away my time with Camilla. I will never forgive myself for that."
Peyton didn't speak but took in all the words that Whitey spoke.
"Do you know my supposed newfound brother Derek?"
Whitey nodded, "I heard about that; I think it's wonderful that you have family again."
"I thought so too; until he raped me."
"Oh Peyton, is that why you weren't at school. We were all wondering, but we didn't know. I'm sorry to hear that." Whitey said patting her shoulder.
"That's not even the worst of it Whitey; I'm pregnant. I don't know what I'm going to do. It just seems like it'll never end."
Whitey sighed, "I know. But you can't just push Lucas and Nathan away. Let them help otherwise you'll just find yourself in an even deeper hole than you are in now." Peyton nodded.
"Thanks."
"Come and see me anytime. I need to get back though; I have some boys to harass during practice." Peyton laughed.
As Whitey walked away Peyton laid down on her mothers' grave and cried, "Please mom, I need your help."
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"Have you seen Peyton?" Lucas asked Nathan during dinner at the café.
"No, I thought you had; that's why I didn't say anything."
"No, Brooke said she seen her before school but she was leaving. I think Brooke might have said something that upset her probably something along the lines of, "You look like someone used you as their punching bag." Oh and I think we forgot about Brooke; no one has told her what happened. She's Peyton's best friend and she deserves to know, but I don't want to be the one to tell her."
Nathan shook his head, backing away; "Not me either; I don't have the patience to handle Brooke. Maybe we should just let Peyton tell her. I mean, she would have already told her if she wanted her to know, right?"
"Yeah, I guess. But we still have no idea where Peyton is." As Lucas finished his sentence a thought popped into his head.
"I think I have an idea of where she might be, do you want to come?" Nathan nodded and stood up.
They both took off running, Nathan following Lucas until they got to the cemetery.
"What are we doing here Luke?" Nathan asked as they slowed down.
Luke shrugged, "It's just an idea; but Peyton might be by her mom's grave."
Neither of them was sure where Peyton's mom was buried but they looked around for it; and sure enough Nathan found Peyton asleep on her mother's grave.
"Lucas!" Nathan said quietly.
"Looks like she had a rough day." Nathan commented as Lucas came over.
"Yeah. We should probably take her home though."
Nathan reached down and picked her up gently so he wouldn't wake her and walked with Lucas back to his house.
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"How did I get here exactly? Last thing I remember is being at the cemetery." Peyton said sitting up.
Nathan smirked, "Lucas had this idea that you might be there, and you were so I carried you home. Rough day?" He asked as Peyton slumped back down on the bed.
Peyton nodded, "I just don't know what I'm going to do Nate. It's just all too much to handle at once."
Nathan grabbed her hand, "Talk to me."
"I'm just not sure whether I want to have a baby at seventeen. I mean this wasn't my choice; this was just kind of pushed onto me, literally. I didn't want this to happen and I definitely didn't plan it. But then again I also think that I should give this baby its life because it was its fault either. It's just hard to decide what to do anymore because it seems as if everything I do or want to do is wrong. People aren't going to know about the rape; they are just going to think I'm easy. I don't want people to look at me like that and no offense to Karen but look at how they look at her. I don't know if I can handle that. I just hate Derek so much for doing this to me."
Nathan nodded, "I know it all seems hard right now Peyton; but you'll figure it all out when you need to. If you just keep thinking about it you're just going to make yourself more confused. What ever you decide we will all stand by you. And trust me; given the chance Derek would be dead in a minute."
Peyton nodded, "Can I just be alone Nathan?"
"Of course, but Lucas really wanted to see you when you woke up. Just for a minute?" Nathan suggested.
"Okay."
Nathan went in the hall to talk to Lucas, "She's not doing so well; she wants to be alone but I told her you wanted to see her for a minute."
Luke nodded and headed into his room.
"Hi." He said quietly at first. "How are you?"
Peyton shrugged, "Alright I guess."
"Want to talk about it?" Lucas hoped.
"No, I just need to think." Peyton sighed.
"Well let me know if you do, okay?" He said and she nodded.
He leaned over her to kiss her forehead and he moved the hair off her face. Flashes of the night passed over her eyes and she started screaming, "Don't, please don't hurt me."
Lucas gently shook her shoulders, shocked. "Peyton, I'm not going to hurt you. It's Luke. Peyton!"
But she wasn't listening, and she kept crying and crying out. Nathan came running into the room, "What the hell happened Luke?"
"She thinks I'm Derek. Peyton, Peyton; look at me. I'm Lucas not Derek. He won't hurt you; he can't. I won't let him hurt you again." He said pulling her into a hug as she cried.
"It's okay. He won't hurt you. I promise. It's okay." He kept repeating until she finally fell asleep.
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Next Chapter: Harsh realities hit everyone.
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Please review if you liked; or even if you didn't. I like constructive criticism.
:) Stephanie.
