I had a lot of fun writing this chapter, so I hope you like it. Let me know in the comments!
The darkness surrounded him, and for a moment he didn't realize where he was. But as the lightening flashed around him, he remembered. The resistance, they had found them. He stood on the dark, slick cliff on an island. Rain lashed against him. His people and the last of the resistance battled around him, the flash of weapons lighting up the night. He looked around, his eyes seeking the one person he needed to find. But where was she? For a moment his stomach clenched. Had she already fallen? But then he saw her. She was high up on the cliffs, the blue light of her saber clearly showing her features. She fought three at once, her teeth bared and her eyes a light with fury. She was stunning.
He found himself moving towards her, almost without realizing it. He had to help her. But as he reached the top of the cliff she struck down the last of her opponents. When her eyes found him, she looked surprised for a moment. But then fury returned. She lifted her saber, steam rising of it with each drop of rain that touched it.
"You did this!" she screamed.
"I didn't want it to be this way!" he called back.
She took a step back, her heel precariously close to the edge. She shook her head, the rain falling in droplets from her hair. "We tried Ben, this is how it has to be."
He ignited his own saber. "I know." Destroying her was the only way to destroy the resistance. He had no choice. The sabers came together, the sound of their clash echoing around them. Again and again they clashed together, moving up and down the cliff side. They moved effortlessly, just as they once had while fighting together. But with an upward swipe, he knocked her saber out of her hand. It flew into the air for a moment, and then plunged backwards into the water below. She looked back at him with both fear and anger as he lifted his own saber into the air. With a single swipe he would cut through her, and this would be over.
Kylo awoke suddenly. His heart was beating so hard he thought it might burst from his chest. It had only been a dream. But it had felt so real. He could still almost feel the icy rain hitting his face, he could still hear his saber hitting Rey's. He laid back into his bed and closed his eyes, trying to calm his heart. He shifted to his side and froze. Someone else was in his bed, laying beside him. It only took him a moment to realize it was her. She was on her side, facing away from him. He could sense she was awake, but she didn't seem to have realized he was there. His heart beat picked up once more as he eyed the outline of her body. He had thought about having her in his bed, but he had never really thought it would happen. Well, technically it wasn't happing, but he didn't think about that. He rested his head on his hand as he waited. It only took a moment, as she shifted around, seeming agitated. As soon as she rolled onto her back, she let out a scream. She stifled it quickly.
"What the hell is wrong with you?" she whispered furiously.
"What do you mean?"
"Why are you just laying there, staring at me? You should have let me know you were there."
He shrugged. "I only realized it moments before you."
She narrowed her eyes, but as they lowered they widened once again. "Why aren't you wearing a shirt?"
"It's restricting."
Her eyes went even wider. "Please tell me you are wearing pants."
He couldn't help but smile at her embarrassment. "I wasn't expecting guests."
She covered her face with her hands, but she didn't leave the bed, and that was encouraging. He looked back to her body and saw that she was wearing only a thin night shirt. He had to use every ounce of his strength to not reach out and touch her. When he looked back to her face, he saw she was watching him examine her. When she spoke, it was almost tender.
"What's wrong? You like you're in pain."
"I'm not use to it."
She frowned. "Use to what?"
"Denying myself what I want."
She was silent. Though the room was dark, the bit of light there was made her eyes shine. She shifted so that she was on her side, facing him. As she did, her hand brushed his and he felt that jolt of electricity.
"Before I woke up, I was dreaming of you," she said quietly.
For a moment he almost smiled, until he remembered that he too had been dreaming of her. "Was it a good dream?"
She looked away. "No, it wasn't."
He frowned. "I was dreaming of you as well. We were on a cliff."
Her eyes snapped back to him. "And it was raining?"
He nodded. He couldn't explain why, but he felt afraid.
"What does it mean?" she asked.
"I don't know. We could have been seeing what will come."
She closed her eyes for moment. "You were going to kill me."
"The future is not set Rey. There is no guarantee that it will happen. We are the only ones who can affect what happens to us, and I don't want to hurt you."
He reached out and touched her face, being as gentle as he could. He expected her to flinch away from him, but she didn't move. She just stared at him, before slowly reaching out and touching her own fingers to his face. He sucked in a breath. She had never touched him like this before. Was he still dreaming?
"Rey, are you real?"
She almost laughed. "Of course, I'm real."
"I just wanted to make sure this wasn't a dream as well."
Her fingers moved along his jaw. "Sometimes I think this is all a dream. I'll just wake up on Jakku, with no force, no light saber. There will be nothing special about me at all."
He shook his head. "That's not possible. Even if you didn't have the force, you would be special."
"What is this, Kylo? What are we?"
He didn't have an answer for that. "I don't have a name for it. All I know is how I feel, and how I think you feel the same, even if you don't want to admit it."
"How can I? If I admit that, I'm betraying my friends and everything I believe in."
"Lying to yourself won't help you or them. The only way you will ever be happy is if you accept who you are. Perhaps… we can find a middle ground."
"What middle ground?"
"Can we just agree to enjoy this while we can? You won't stop fighting, and I won't stop trying to find you. But when we are like this, alone, can't we just have this?"
She didn't look at his face as her fingers played with a strand of his hair. "Isn't it wrong?"
"How can it be? I've never felt something so pure in my entire life. My whole life has been filled with disappointment. Is it wrong to want one truly good thing, even if just for a moment?"
A small smile formed on her face. It felt like weight lifted from his chest. "Ok. But this can't last forever. Eventually this will come to an end. Will you be able to handle that?"
"I'll have too. Can you?"
She frowned. "I don't know. But I'm willing to try."
He pushed himself up, leaning on his elbow. She looked up at him. His fingers slid down her face to her neck. He had held many people by their necks, but never like this. He moved his fingers gently over her skin, feeling it's softness beneath him. He could feel her quickening pulse, and it made him smile. His felt down to her collar bone. He then did something that surprised even him. He leaned down and pressed his lips against her neck. She let out a little gasp of surprise, and he felt her body react beneath him. Goose bumps formed against his mouth and he smiled. He licked his lips, enjoying the taste of her. Her hand pressed against his chest, though he could tell she wasn't trying to push him away. If anything, she was pressing herself against him. He shifted his eyes up to her face and saw she was watching him.
"Is that… something you like?" he whispered.
"I think so."
"And this?" He ran his nose against the softness of her throat, his breath fluttering across her skin. She let out a laugh, squirming away.
He frowned. "Was that not right?"
"It just tickled," she smiled.
"I'm sorry. I've never done this before."
"No, me neither," she agreed.
He searched her eyes. "Never? There was never anyone in Jakku?"
She actually laughed. "No, no one on Jakku."
He nodded. "Good."
"Would it matter if there had been?"
"Not directly, no. But I admit I would feel the desire to track them down and remove them from the universe."
Rey shook her head. "You don't own me Ben."
"No, I don't think I ever could. But I'm an only child, and I'm not good at sharing." He pushed himself up so that their faces were close together. "I want you, Rey." He leaned down slowly. He felt her breath against his mouth and closed his eyes, wanting to enjoy it. She smelled of a sweetness, like fruit. He fell forward onto his bed. He opened his eyes, seeing nothing but sheets beneath him.
"No," he seethed. He flung a pillow from his bed, then another. He slammed his fist against the wall. Once again, she was gone. He had been so close this time. So close to doing what he had wanted to do for so long. Next time, he would not fail.