Chapter 4
Clary POV
Darkness. Pure darkness. It's nice, peaceful; it feels like you're floating. I know I'm only hanging on by a thread, but I don't want to stay. I've be pushed past the point of breaking so many times. I've tried to get back on my feet but I can't take it. I'm going to let go so I can't be hurt anymore. I fall into nothingness my soul is pulled out of my body and I see me lying on the hospital bed, eyes closed looking peaceful for the first time in years. I see a bunch of nurses and doctors frantically trying to revive me. I shake my head because I'm no going back I refuse to go back to that life. I leave the room, I'm walking down the hall when I see my mom clinging to my brother tears flowing freely down her porcelain cheeks. She's whispering something over and over again.
"I'm sorry… I'm so so so sorry. Stay with us Clary please, please." My mom begged me to stay but she already lost me. My brother, Jon, was trying to hold it together but I could see he wasn't doing any better than mom was. I move over to where Simon was, I can see his eyes ringed with red as a sign that he had been crying. He was such a good friend. I love him I really do but not even that will make me stay. They'll be ok without me… I look up and see heaven. It's beautiful like a city made of glass, it shines. It's pulling me in and I will gladly follow it. But something is missing, something isn't quite right… I feel my heart pull me back away from the light, and I start walking down a hall away from everyone else. I walk, not knowing where my feet were taking me. I reach the middle of the abandoned hall. Except it's not entirely abandoned, someone sits with their head on their knees crying, Jace is sitting against the wall. He's crying but why? Why is he crying? Confused I move closer to him till I'm right in front of him and down to the level he is sitting at. I looked at him and my heart jumped, I missed the days were we would hang out, the summers full of laughter. He, believe it or not, was my friend before Jon's; we met in middle school during English. He's a year older than me but I was in excelled English. I met him and since then I have never stopped loving him. We used to spend everyday together and when he took me to watch the midnight flowers bloom he kissed me. My world couldn't have been more complete and happy. When I took him to my house for the first time things changed. He met my brother who was the same age as him and they found out they had a lot in common so eventually Jace and I separated… sad to say but he forgot about me when he met my brother, he chose to be popular over me… That's when my world started to crumble down. I lost the person who I depended on, who I loved, I lost my best friend. How could my life go from ser bliss and joy to pain and misery the next? Things got worse from there, my dad started beating me. I constantly felt hollow inside like there was nothing left thank god I met Simon because if I hadn't I think I would have died a long time before now. I was able to regain some hope that this would all get better, even though it didn't I'm still grateful for every one of them. I just wish that I could have told Jace that I still loved him even after all these years and that he will always be my best friend… I lean over Jace and kiss his cheek. I get up and turn back to beautiful heaven; I let it pull me forward. I smile for the first time in years, a true smile. Not a faked one not one that only brings temporary happiness, one that brings me complete and utter joy. I feel the pull getting stronger I look back once more to see my brother walk over to Jace. What? I hear him call Jace's name and sit down next to him. He stares at Jace as if analyzing the situation, Jace looks at my brother his eyes are red and puffy from tears that he had shed only moments before. I shrug and turn back to the place that will make me happy when I hear
"You love her don't you…"