I know it's been too long since my last chapter, sorry.

Chapter 4

Sunday 27

Afternoon

I don't want to hear the sound, of losing what I never found…

Down, Jason Walker

Alaric

I wake up in room which probably used to be the school library, cause there are some books in the bookcases.

My head hurts a little, since the stupid vampires hit my head on a desk. I am so glad that I didn't die from that.

I sigh and I look at Elena who is over Damon, trying to wake him up.

I am wondering if I have to tell her the truth about Damon or not. I mean, will it help?

Two hours ago, Mystic Falls' old school

We had already checked the first floor room by room, but nothing. The building seemed too freaky empty. Like there was no one else here.

Damon seemed to hear something and he waved me to be silent.

Then his phone rang.

"Seriously?" I yelled at him "You could put that on mute you know!"

Damon didn't even look at me and he picked up the phone. I rolled my eyes.

Why in the hell am I doing this? I thought. It's not my problem. Elena is a good girl, but…it's not my problem. Damon doesn't deserve my help. Or does he? I mean he is not as bad as he wants to be, he would die for Elena and Stefan, and that's something. I have no one to die for…

Damon was talking to the phone, probably with his brother.

"I didn't expect you to bring company" a woman who had magically appeared in front of us said. Before either me or Damon could react she did something with her hands, like she was releasing a magic power and she made my stomach hurt like hell. I fell to the ground wrapping my hands around my stomach. I slightly looked up and I saw Damon trying to attack to her but she stopped him just by rising her hand.

"Who the hell are you?" he asked her, his gaze between me and her.

"My name is Kristin" she said calmly. "I am part of the play"

"What play? Are you crazy?" Damon snarled.

"You'll see. But I am sure you are gonna like it" Kristin said warmly.

"Stop doing that!" he demanded looking at me. Kristin followed his gaze and when she saw me groaning she smiled. Suddenly the pain was gone. I breathed out.

"Done" she said.

Damon sighed "So what do you want?"

"Do you like humans?" she asked with a coy smile.

"Define." Damon said coldly

"Do you sympathize them?"

"Hell no"

"Too bad." The woman said walking around Damon "Cause you are gonna be one."

"What?" he gasped.

"In two hours. You'll be human. Not forever but for the time you are in here. So be careful!" she said happily. "You don't wanna die do you?"

"How…Why?" Damon mumbled. "You can't do that."

"We'll see about that" she said. "But I need your permission first."

Damon's face lightened and then he giggled. "We are on Supernatural or something? Well then I don't give it to you"

"Well then I'll kill your brother." she mocked his voice. "And your human friend over there"

"You are bluffing" he snapped.

"Are you willing to risk it?" she smirked.

Damon closed his eyes. "If I won't be a vampire the moment I am out, I'll kill you. That's a promise" he said after a while.

"Damon, I don't think that's wise" I protested.

"I don't remember asking you what you think" Damon said to me and I rolled my eyes.

"You have my permission." He said. Kristin grinned and she grabbed Damon's hand and quoting a spell.

The next moment she was gone.

Damon seemed kinda dizzy.

Oh, great! I haven't got my ring and in two hours he won't have his immortality and vampire power. How are we supposed to survive like that?

"Oh come on, Damon! She wouldn't kill Stefan. And if she wanted me dead she would have done it already. But I am sure you didn't do this for me so why did you do that?" I complained.

"I'll be fine" he muttered and he started walking. Or rather trying to walk.

"Who cares about you? How are we supposed to find Elena and save her without your powers? How are we supposed to get out alive, ha?" I kept complaining, while I was following Damon.

"We have to do that before in two hours and we'll be fine. And if you are worried about your safety, you can leave Alaric." Damon said flatly I felt like it was the moment I had to shut up but I didn't.

"Look" I said in the most calm and sad way I could "If I won't make it out, if I die…" my voice sounded like I was in those drama films. Damon stopped walking, he turned on me and he looked at me dully. " I blame you entirely!" I finally said I smirked and I passed him to get upstairs.

"Very funny!" Damon whispered and he followed me.

As it seems that two hours have passed. I am wondering why Kristin would give him that much time until he turns in human. Maybe she wanted him right here, right now. Maybe she needed him to find Elena. Part of the freaking game, I suppose.

"Why isn't he healing?" Elena asks warily.

"About that…." I begin.

"What?"

"He's human now. A witch made a spell which turned him to a human, until we are out of here. The spell would have affect two hours after we met that woman and that time has apparently expired." I try to cover every possible question.

"What?" Elena gasps.

"Damn it, Ric!" Damon mutters. At least he's awake and not… dead.

"Oh my God!" Elena cries

"Thanks a lot!" he says to me sarcastically " Don't tell Stefan, ok?" he demands and I nod.

"I am so sorry, Damon…I am sorry!" Elena whispers.

"What are you sorry for?" Damon whispers surprised.

"Because I've put you through this. You came here for me, didn't you?" she says in a low voice.

"It's not your fault. Katherine is just a selfish bitch." Damon's voice was weak but in some way seems to comfort Elena.

"How did you know that she wasn't me?" Elena asks.

Oh yeah! How did you know? I mean I know the main part, but I don't know the beginning. I have a theory though.

"I…I talked to her and I….I…just knew that she wasn't you." Damon says avoiding Elena's gaze.

"I know you kissed her, Damon" Elena says.

I knew it! I kinda feel sorry for him. But I think that if it was Elena it would be worse. She's still his brother's girl…

Damon gasps. "I…" he looks down.

"It's ok" Elena says in way that didn't sound ok at all, but I suppose she wants to get the rest of the story.

Damon closes his eyes "Because you would never kiss me. No matter what happens, no matter what I say. You love Stefan, not me. We are just friends after all remember?" he laughs in the most sad way I've ever heard, if that's possible. "You would never chose me. And because you aren't Katherine. The way she reacted, the way she looked after we….kissed….was different. Cause Katherine no matter how much she tries isn't something very important that you are, so…"

I can't clearly see Elena's face but it seems like she's looking straight at Damon's eyes, searching for an answer.

"She isn't what?" she asks in a voice lower than a whisper.

"She isn't….you" replies and he half-smiles to her.

Elena gasps and then she smiles back.

Oh God….I don't think this is going to end up well….For no one.

Damon

I don't know why but that brings tears in her eyes. But it isn't sadness.

She leans her head closer to mine. I don't move. I can't. I don't want to. She leans further to kiss me. She closes her eyes and I close mine lifting my head a little bit so I our lips can touch. But then I stop.

We can't do this.

I can't do this. To Elena. Even to Saint Stefan. I won't turn her into Katherine.

But what I am afraid most is that she's won't ever be here. She won't ever like me.

I put my fingers on her lips instead, preventing the kiss.

"No…Please." I say weakly. I know I can never have you. I don't say that loud.

She takes my hand on hers. She stays close to me.
"Why?" she asks.

"Do you love Stefan?" I ask. I want more than anything the answer to be no.

"I…I do but…" she says hesitantly.

"Then don't do that." I say and I move slightly back.

"Why not?"she asks in a broken voice "I want…"

"Because" I cut her off "You will return to Stefan and I don't want to…lose what I never really found."

Elena cries silently now staring at me and I look anywhere but her.

Then she stands up, wiping her tears. I can't watch her like that, but I can't….I can't get hurt again. I can't.

I smile a bit when I see Alaric. It must be so awkward to him. He pretends to read a book, holding it upside down. The book is too old and he tries to keep it from falling apart.

The door opens.

We all look at that direction at the same time.

A vampire throws someone in. It's Stefan. I am not sure if he's just unconscious or worse so I try to crawl to him. Thankfully he's not far. When I am 5 inches away, he wakes up and he stares at me confused.

"Oh, you are alive" I say flatly and I crawl back to my corner.

Elena runs to him. "Stefan!" she kisses him.

"Oh now you can run!" I mutter.

"Why are you here?" Alaric asks.

"For vacations." I say rolling my eyes. "What do you think?"

"How did you know that she was Katherine?" Elena asks, wrapping her hands around his neck.

"Bonnie told me." He responds.

Elena lets go of him. "So you didn't know by yourself?"

"How should I know? She was exactly like you!"Stefan defends himself.

"Damon could tell the difference, Stefan." Elena mutters.

"And he didn't tell me! Do you have any idea why Elena?" Stefan says narrowing his eyes.

Elena looks at me. I roll my eyes.

"Enlighten me." Elena says rising her hands in dramatic way.

"Because he wanted us to fight for that! Because he wanted you for himself!" Stefan shouts. You got it, Sherlock! I swear that if I was still a vampire I would have kill him.

"I am not a fucking property Stefan! And I am not stupid!" Elena yells.

"I know you are not! I am not blaming you Elena. I'm blaming him!" Stefan points at me.

I hate it when people talk about me, in front of me pretending that I am invisible.

"I am here!" I say but no one seems to listen.

"He's trying to tear us apart, don't you see? I thought he…he had changed. But he hasn't. He's still trying to make me miserable."

"I can hear you, you know!" I say loudly.

"Even if that's true I would never cheated on you with him! I am not Katherine! Even though you can't tell the difference!" Elena says trough her teeth.

"He's capable of thinks you can't imagine!" Stefan replies.

"I am still right here! Am I invisible or something?" I say loud to my brother and her but they keep arguing "You can see me right?" I turn to Rick.

He looks around the room, like he heard a voice and he couldn't tell where it come from.

I laugh a little, which makes my wound hurt. I am not sure if I can tell whether the pain I feel is normal or not.

"Enough" Alaric shouts suddenly. We all stare at him.

"What?" Stefan asks.

"You know I hate Damon, because he is just a jerk who turned my wife and killed me but you can't blame him for everything! Especially after what he did for you!" He murmurs something about how I doomed him too with my stupid actions while he's getting closer to Stefan.

"Shut up!" I snap and I am trying to get up but I can't. Damn it!

"What did he do?" Stefan mocks.

Alaric narrows his eyes and if I could read his mind I am sure I could hear a lot of swearing.

"He didn't tell you about Katherine, because if he did you and Elena would die! And he's human now! He could just say no to the witch, but if he did you would die so…." He shouts to Stefan.

"Wh-What?" Stefan's voice sounds more like a breath and not a word.

"Alaric, please tell me" I say as calmly as I can "Which part of 'don't tell Stefan' wasn't clear enough for you?"

The teacher rolls his eyes and takes a deep breath. "I am just trying to help."

"Well, I don't need your help!" I mumble.

"You certainly don't deserve it" he mutters.

It's really annoying that I have to sit down all time and watching them standing up, like in some way they are better and overpowered than I am. But I can't get up, cause it hurts.

I think I am more emotional now than before too. I mean….I rejected Elena, because of…what?

Humans are so annoying, pitifully and irrationally moral that I can't stand them. Now I have to be one of them. How can I adjust to something that died 146 years ago?

"You did that for me?" Stefan asks. It seems that, that's the second time he asks cause Elena, Alaric and him they all are staring at me, waiting for an answer.

"Are we still on that?" I complain.

Silence.

I sigh "Why would I do anything for you, brother?". I am doing my best to make it sound sarcastic.

"You did it to save me." Stefan says. "To save me. Which means you don't hate me."

"How in the hell did you come up with that conclusion?" I say through my teeth.

Luckily for me, someone gets in. I didn't to have that soul searching conversation again with St. Stefan. Besides it hurts when I talk.

A woman that I've never seen before comes in.

"No." Stefan answers coldly.

"It wasn't a question."

"No." Stefan repeats.

The woman uses her vampire speed to grab Alaric. She puts a knife in his neck, threatening to kill him.

"Come with me Stefan" she demands.

I try to get up but for once again I can't.

"You are bluffing!" Stefan supposes.

"I am not. That's why I chose him. Because I don't care if he's dead or not. So come with me or he dies." The vampire says cutting him a little bit in the neck. Alaric moans.

Stefan stays silent staring at them.

"Stefan go with her" I say. What could she possibly do to him? She won't kill him or hurt him, cause Katherine likes him. All she can do is try to seduce him.

"Please" Elena whispers.

Stefan nods and Katherine finally lets Rick fall down.

They both go out.

"Are you ok?" I ask.

"I am fine" Alaric matters. The way he spoke reminded me someone who held a gun and he was ready to shoot whoever talked to him.

"Thanks" Elena says. "For helping"

Alaric smiles and he finally gets up.

I feel too sleepy suddenly, so I lean my back and head to the wall and close my eyes for a while. My wound hurts a lot and I feel kinda numb. I feel like I am finally sleeping after a lot of days.

I don't know for how long I slept if I slept at all and I feel someone shaking me slightly trying to wake me up. I try to open my eyes but I can't…I just want to sleep.

That person shakes me harder. I hear Elena's voice distant.

I open my eyes but I can't see clearly.

"I know it's difficult but you've got to stay awake!" Alaric says.

"Why?" I say in a low voice.

"You are bleeding. If you sleep you'll die" he explains and I think that he's worried.

I shrug. "You care?" I say trying to convince him to let me sleep.

"I do" Elena snaps. "Please, Damon, don't…Don't do this to me…Please" she starts to cry.

"Look, just wait until Stefan is back" Alaric says. "He'll give you his blood so you can be healed. Just hold on ok?" his voice is slow or that's how it is to me.

"I can't…I just wanna sleep." I whisper.

"If you do that you'll die" Alaric says.

"If that's what it takes to sleep…" I don't know if he heard me or not but I don't care. It's not that I wanna die, cause I don't, but staying awake seems pretty fucking impossible. Maybe I won't even die. If I was bleeding that much Stefan would have freaked out and attacked me or just play Saint as usual, pointing out that he can resist in human blood.

Another reason why I believe I won't die is because it doesn't feel like it. I have done this before. I remember it clearly.

I remember me, being over Katherine, trying to untie her. I heard people coming but I tried to focus on what I was doing, but I was really scared. Then I felt a sharp pain in my stomach which made me lose my balance and fall to the ground. I remember Stefan coming over me and I had one last look at Katherine who was…what? Sad, scared, shocked? Did she know that I was gonna turn? How would she feel if I had die? How would Stefan feel? I lost so many things that summer…Katherine, my brother and myself. I can't get anything back.

"Damon!" Alaric's voice breaks my thoughts and my sleep probably.

"What?" I say angrily.

"Just don't freaking die!" he yells.

"Why?"

Alaric stares at me for a second. He glances at Elena who is walking at the room crying.

"Cause I wanna have the satisfaction of killing you myself." He finally replies and I chuckle.

"Besides, no matter how pathetic that sounds, I depend on you. To get out of this amazing place you brought me."

"If I were you I would have let you die." I say, but I am not sure if that's true or not. I don't wanna know. I don't want to feel more human than I already am.

" Been there done that. You were watching me die, which I have to say was really creepy." He responds, but I don't look at him. I look at Elena.

She had come beside me – I don't know when exactly- and she is holding my hand. In a miraculous way that makes me stronger. It gives me a reason to live.

When I first saw Elena I thought: I finally found a human version of Katherine. They are the same. Like clones. But when I got to know her I've found out that she is everything Katherine wasn't. She managed to bring to the surface what Katherine had buried.

Elena

How am I supposed to deal with this?

What if Damon…dies? He can't die…I…can't handle this…

How am I supposed to deal with the fact that I have feelings for him? I would have kiss him. I am not like that.

I don't know if it's love or…I don't know. What I know is that he's not just a friend of mine…

But I won't ever be with him, cause he's Stefan's brother. I can't do this to them. I can't be Katherine. I don't want to be her.

"Elena!" someone shouts. I turn and I see Stefan who just had come in. He runs to me and he kisses me. "I love you so much" like we never had that fight before.

"I am sorry to interrupt this monumental reunion" Alaric says sarcastically in a way that reminds me a lot of Damon "but we have a little problem here."

I flinch. "Oh God Stefan! You have to help him!"

Stefan doesn't move and he stares at the wall behind me like he was too scared to look someone else.

"Stefan!" I shake him slightly. "You have to give your blood to Damon"

"I can't" he whispers still looking at nothing.

"Correct me if I am wrong but we didn't exactly asked you." Alaric whispers.

I hear Damon trying to laugh, but what comes out is a really low sound.

"What?" Alaric snarls turning to Damon.

"Nothing…It's just that since you came here you are a whole new person. You make sarcastic comments and…" Damon's voice breaks at the end because he coughs and I run to him.

Stefan opens his mouth to say something but he regrets it.

"Look…I don't know what happened between you, Damon, Elena, Katherine and whoever and I really don't care. But if we want to get out of here alive, we need Damon. He has lost a lot of blood which I am sure you can smell, sense or whatever and the chances are that he's gonna die in less than an hour, unless you give him your blood which can heal him. Do you understand that?" Alaric's tone reminds me the way he was talking to one of my classmates who didn't ever study.

Stefan looks at Alaric for a while.

"Stefan…please…" I whisper.

Without looking at me he walks to Damon and he bits his hand and he makes his brother to drink even though he didn't seem to want to.

Damon's completely ok a few minutes later. Thank God!

As a matter of fact he seems really better.

"Soooo…..what are we gonna do now?" he asks looking at all of us.

"We have to get out of here" Stefan says in distant voice, which worries me.

"Really? What makes you say that?" Damon replies. When he sees Stefan's lost eyes he rolls his eyes and sighs. "There is a door back there so I suggest to check that out. I don't think it leads to anywhere but whatever."

"What I think is most important is to figure out what Katherine wants from you. What's her plan. We can't win or even escape if we don't what she wants to achieve and most importantly what she's willing to sacrifice to get it." Alaric says crossing his arms.

"See? That's what I am talking about!" Damon says and he rises his hand for a hi-five but no one responds.

"I am serious." The teacher mutters angrily.

"Yeah, I know that's what I said. But I wanted to make it more fun…." Damon pauses for a moment "What's wrong with me?"

"Everything" Stefan whispers.

"Excuse me?" Damon's tone is completely different than before.

"I said that everything is wrong with you." Stefan turns to Damon now.

"Stefan!" I shout.

He smiles at me. "Can you and Alaric go to check the next room please?". He sounds like my mother, not my real one, who told to me and Jeremy to go to our rooms and play when she and dad had something 'just for grown-ups' to say.

"I am not a child Stefan!" I say full of anger.

"I just need to stay alone with him for a minute." Stefan says warmly. "Please."

I glance at Damon over Stefan's shoulder waving at me and Alaric not to leave the room. I sigh "Ok."

"Thank you! Thanks a lot!" Damon mumbles.

Alaric hesitates for a minute, he rolls his eyes and finally gets out of the room. I follow.

Stefan

"We need to talk." I say.

Damon narrows his eyes "Your need, not mine."

"I have to tell you something."

"I can't avoid that, can I?" he asks adding a smile at the end.

"I wish it could be avoid. Believe me." I begin.

"Oh, what is it? Did you kill any kitten?" Damon jokes.

"She's not dead Damon" I announce.

Damon stares at me. "Who is not dead?"

Two Hour Ago-Right after they caught him

"What do you want from me?" I yelled trying to get a vampire off of me.
"Just wait and see" she said and she leaved the room.

After a minute an extremely familiar woman showed up. She was wearing a long 30's red dress. Her hair was black long and curly. Where do I know her from?

When she looks at me she smiles. "Hello Stefan". The woman comes closer to me and she strokes my face.

"Who are you?" I asked but I was afraid that I already know the answer.

"Don't you recognize me?" she whispers.

"You can't…." I said teary.

"There is a reason your dad hated vampires, sweetie." She says in just the same tone she used to talked to me.

"I thought you were dead!" I cried.

"Well, I was a vampire. You have to understand…" she started but I interrupted her.

"To understand? To understand what? That you chose this over us? How could you do this to me? How could you do that to Damon? Have you….any idea what we've been through since you left? I don't think so!" I was talking slowly like I was in some kind of dream. I simply couldn't believe that this was reality.

"Sweetie, I am so sorry! I am. But I couldn't make you chose. I couldn't force you to live like that!" her voice was calm. She lifted her hand to stroke my hair but I stepped back.

"What do you want now?" I said coldly, surprised by myself that I didn't cry.

"I want to help you." She said.

I laughed hysterically. "Help me? Really? How?"

"You don't see it now, but you have to be through this."

"Through what? Katherine? Are you working for her?" I said or rather yelled.

"No."

"With her then? What is it? It has to be something!" I started walking all over the room pointlessly.

"Katherine cares about you." She said slowly like she was trying to pick up the right words.

I laughed again, but this time it sounded more sarcastic than before. "You have a different aspect of what is caring."

She opened her mouth to say something, but I wasn't finished.

"Katherine compelled me to be with her. She was attractive and I like her, I can't deny that, but Damon was with her too. And she compelled me not to have problem with that. Then she forced me –and Damon- to drink her blood. A couple of weeks later my father caught her, and me and my brother tried to save her but we got shot. By our father. And we turned into vampires! I thought Katherine was dead. Damon did too and he loved her that much that he didn't want to live without her. He didn't want to be a vampire. But I made him turn. So he had to deal with that for the eternity.

Nevertheless we realized that we did have a problem with the whole love triangle thing. We never blamed Katherine for that. We blamed each other. We hated each other. For be an obstacle to each other's happiness, for letting her die, for losing her, for losing ourselves, for losing each other.

Damon knew that she wasn't dead and he spend his whole vampire life trying to set her free. Just to discover that Katherine didn't need to be rescued at all. She was somewhere, free and happy continue her life. But we were stuck with what she left behind.

That's not caring!"

That was the first time I told those things out loud. God, this was the first time I told them to myself. But now it's too late.

I looked at her. She was looking at me the whole time. Then she closed her eyes and got a deep breath.

"I don't want to hear your excuse. Or what you want. What I want is to let me go. If you can't do that just let go back to my cage." I whispered.

"Stef, listen to me…" she said.

"Don't call me like that!" I yelled.

"It's important not to let Damon know about this. I mean not about how you feel about Katherine and about the past." She continued calmly.

"Why? Because this could actually fix us?" I yelled.

"No. Because, I think that you don't know how you really feel about Katherine yet and that will cost you more than you think."

"What worse could possibly happen? I've already lost everything." My voice broke at the end. I felt like I was in my brother's shoes. Feeling betrayed, lost, alone. This is how he felt? At least I had Elena….I hoped.

Isobel come in. I gasped slightly cause I had forgot for a second where I was.

I wondered why Katherine made Isobel to do all her dirty work.

"Time is up" she announced like a prison guard. The other woman I was talking to went out. Isobel smirked."I have however an answer to your question…Think that they are all alive. The people you care about. You don't wanna lose that, do you?"

She was threatening me!

"Before you go and whine to my daughter or your stupid brother about me or Katherine or anyone, please think of that. Damon still kissed Katherine, thinking that she was Elena. Knowing that you loved her and that you were with her. Damon doesn't care, Stefan. Why do you think he didn't tell you about Katherine? He wants your girlfriend for himself. He's not the brother you loved once. That one died, back in 1864, the moment you said hello to Katherine. It's not Katherine's fault that got separated through the years. She was just a handle. Damon has no redeeming qualities, no nothing. All that act of being good is just so he can get Elena.. " She said smiling and she vanished.

The problem is that I believe her.

"Stefan!" Damon says in a singing tone. When I finally look at him he smiles sarcastically. "Wanna stop staring at nothing and tell me who in the hell is still alive? But please do both of us a favor. Ask yourself that: Will Damon care?"

I take a deep breath and even I know that this is impossible I felt like I could get any air. I have tears in my eyes, despite my efforts not to. My brother's expressions change entirely.

"What's wrong Stef?" Damon asks, in a way that it seems like he really cared.

I don't know how in the hell that makes me tear up even more. I press my eyes with my fingers, in order not to cry. I take another deep breath and without looking at Damon I announce.

"Mom"

"What?" he gasps.

"Mom is still alive"