Author's Note: This was basically bleeding onto the page. I had to write it. Don't worry; it's not as depressing as the others.
It's the best feeling in the world when you can stop. It's like, there's this pressure, these expectations, that you have to hold up and it never ends. It seems impossible. I'll admit, sometimes I feel like I want to just pass out.
The thing is, the harder you fight, the better it feels when you don't have to fight anymore. It's peaceful, for the first time in what feels like forever, and you can just let every taped down emotion spill out, and I'm crying, and I don't have to worry about someone seeing me, or what they think, and I can exist in that space. I don't have to think about my grades, or college in four years, or even the people who love to mess with me at school, because even if on Monday they steal my clothes in the locker room again, right now they can't get to me. No one can get to me. I am free, and I don't have any pressure on my shoulders. I'm awake. I'm alive. You can't know how much it makes me want to scream every day, trying to make it through what seems like an endless forest. In moments like this, I can see a speck of light. Sure, it's far away, but I will get there someday.
Who knows, it might come sooner than I think. My parents are going to help me, and I'm going to get a second chance in just a few months. If I can hold out that long, I'll be through.
That's not the best part though. The best part is that finally, after so long, I'm happy right now. I don't need to look for the speck of light- I'm standing in a clearing full of it. I can just exist, here, doing the thing I love best in the world…
I have two days before I have to go back into the monotonous numbness. The thing is, though, there will always be clearings. If I can get through a rough patch and find the clearing, I know I can get to the light. I will never forget the forest, but I can leave it. Soon…