I hope you enjoy this.

Chapter Four:

The FBI managed to infiltrate the cult. The member was found a few days in due to the surveillance policies I had implemented. He was brought before me for punishment.

Agent Reginald "Reggie" Brooks was a fairly new agent. He had been joined the undercover crimes unit only a few years ago so I barely knew him. To his credit, he didn't beg or try to call me Reid. He simply glared at me.

"Do your worst," he sneered.

"You have a daughter, don't you?" I asked. "Age four?"

He refused to answer.

I took the gun offered and shoot him right in the center.

"You will live, but you will never chase after her as she learns to ride her bike or walk down the aisle at her wedding."

Brooks doesn't say anything. He merely holds on to the wound.

I turn my back on him.

"Patch him up and drop him off at the nearest hospital. Agent Brooks, remind the team I am no longer a member of their family. I don't show mercy anymore."

"Traitor!" he grunts out.

I don't look back.

…

The new "servant" as I choose to call them, is wearing nothing when I arrive at my sleeping chambers. She had strawberry-blond hair.

"Happy Birthday to you," she sang softly. "Happy Birthday to you my Messiah. Happy Birthday to you."

It has been two years since my abduction. Last year they got me a bottle of wine from Rossi's collection along with a digital photo frame loaded with twenty-five pictures of my team.

I begin to get undressed. "I preferred the wine," I said.

"I'll change your mind about that," she said coming forward and helping me.

Maybe I was more stressed than usual, but her caresses got to me. She was more muscular than previous servants and had scars on her abdomen.

"You're a cop? Aren't you?" I said.

"Try again," she said smiling. "Federal agent originally based in New York."

"What's your name?" I asked.

"I like to be called Claudette," she said.

"What's your real name?"

"I like to be called Claudette," she said. "And you miss being called Reid."

"You should have run, Claudette," I said. "This position is a death sentence."

"I know," she said nuzzling me. "But it is worth it to save someone as special as you."

"I am beyond saving," I said.

She climbed on top of me.

"You're not a bad person, Spencer Reid," she said. "You're surviving, and I know you're going to take this cult down eventually with cunning and sheer will power."

Tears fill my eyes.

"You don't know what I've done. I paralyzed a man the other day without looking back."

She wiped the tears from my eyes.

"You carry the pain your heart. You feel the guilt more deeply than any person on this planet Spencer Reid. You're a survivor and you are making a difference in ways you can't begin to imagine."

The tears won't stop now. She got off me and snuggled beside me. I cry into her chest. We lay together and the pain of years in captivity flow out. I do not even know her real name and yet I know already that I love her more than any servant I've had before. It will break me when she leaves.

…

I have other issues to keep me occupied with though. There are people who are questioning my leadership even as I have made the cult five times stronger than what had abducted me. It is time to make an example of the dissidents.

At the meeting I round up the loudest voices and personally beat them with a whip. I dared anyone who challenged my authority to stand up. No one does. I then take a gun and aim it at the dissenting voices and ask which one of them I should kill. One person bravely offered his own and I choose the person who is shaking the most and shoot her in the head.

"NO MERCY TO THOSE WHO QUESTION THE MESSIAH'S WILL" I roared.

Everyone bows, and I left. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed that even the agents who abducted me look disturbed.

…

Claudette massages my back as I vomit my guts out. She does not judge and even wipes my face. Even as I am weak from heaving, our sex is carnal. I need her so badly. Being with her makes me feel more alive than I have since I threw my FBI credentials into the fire.

It is not always about sex though when I am with her. She asked me questions about things such as Pi and we debate moral relativism. I discovered she had a degree in criminal justice and minored in political science. This is the closest I have had to having an intellectual equal by my side since before my abduction.

She also has news for me. Garcia married a year ago is expecting her first child in four months. The International Response Team has been reinstated and Simmons is now in charge of it. Rossi retired last year and is writing a new book. No one else has left my team. They still believe I am innocent and miss me horribly. I wanted to call them fools, but Claudette hushes me. Hers and my hair are wet with tears by the end of her updates.

…

The day after I am certain Claudette is gone for good, I summoned former agent Meadows to my chambers. I promptly began to collapse her windpipe.

"Do you want to live?" I asked her.

She frantically nodded and tried to say yes.

"Then no more night servants," I said forcefully. "Is that understood?"

She does her best to nod and try to say yes. I put another ounce of pressure on her throat before throwing her to the ground.

"Get out of my sight," I said.

She left quickly. I doubt Meadows ever imagined me changing from puppet to ruthless puppeteer like this. It may have been the initial desired result, but now they are seeing the monster they have made me.

Meadows is good to her word. Another servant does not replace Claudette. I cry into my pillow on my own now and that is the way I prefer it.