Well suited

Part 4

From the centre of the room, looking beyond Dickie's shoulder, she could have a clear view of everything that was going on around her: near the table of the drinks, there was Nurse Joan pouring her second whiskey, probably with the precise aim of getting drunk; in one corner, a good looking waiter was clearly trying to impress a young waitress, but seemed to fail so far; in the opposite one, Violet and prince Kuragin were speaking intensely and she even noticed their joined hands. Many different expressions passed on Isobel's face, from amusement to tenderness, but yet the relaxed smile on her face quickly disappeared as soon as she reduced her field of view and brought her eyes back on the dancers.

Sadly for her, Rose and Angus were not the only couple that passed in front of her and suddenly, she found herself to be exactly on the same eye level of Richard Clarkson who was currently holding the beautiful blonde widow. It could have maybe been easier to look away, but the most surprising thing was that he was already looking at her; therefore, their eyes unavoidably locked anD remained locked until the almost defying hint in his eyes became too annoying to bear, so much that she suddenly stopped in the middle of the dance. And it was a pity actually, since Lord Merton was proving to be a very good dancer after all.

"I am sorry, but I am not feeling very well… I go out for a moment to take a breath" she said trying to cover her irritation, while breaking the contact with her partner.

"Do you want me to come with you?" he asked immediately and it was clear that he was speaking more out of real concern rather than simple kindness.

However, she just shook her head as she could not help but quickly glance again at the doctor. "Don't worry, I will be out no longer than a minute…"

That said, she abruptly took her leave before he could offer his help again and started to make her way through the crowd. She passed in front of the tipsy Nurse Joan but the sight didn't make her smile this time; she met Violet's eyes across the room, but did not answer in anyway to her puzzled look. In less than a minute she was free, but yet she didn't stop until she also crossed the front door. Finally alone in the growing darkness, she closed her eyes for a moment and breathed at least twice trying to regain control of herself. She was annoyed and frustrated, but sadly she did not know that all those negative feelings weren't bound to go away that easily, since loneliness was just an illusion.

"Mrs Crawley, are you alright?"

She immediately opened up her eyes and nearly jumped at the very familiar voice. It took just one look at the figure in front of her to lose that little peace she had managed to gain and recall back her again. Against her predictions, someone had followed her and that someone was not Dickie Merton.

"Why do you care, doctor Clarkson? We are not even friends" she spat out, stressing the last word with a painful irony.

"Well, you said it yourself, I am a doctor" he replied, shrugging with fake nonchalance, "besides, it's late and it's cold outside here…"

"Oh please, it's still summer!"

After that irrefutabile remark, they both fell in an uncomfortable silent for a short while and neither of them dared to look at the other in the meantime. The same ugly memory was crossing their minds but with different emotions: disappointment and hurt for Isobel and guilty and regret for Richard. In spite of the whole story, he had been wrong in that very particular moment, he knew that, and he also knew that he had to be the one to brought out the subject again.

"I am sorry if what I said the other day hurt you, I did not have that intention" he started to say, letting out his attempted apology along with a deep sigh. "But honestly, that was the truth: you were never my friend Isobel, because to me you had always been so much more. And now, I can't even pretend, not anymore, not if you keep acting like this…"

The first sentence of his confession made her turn her head instinctively to him, but the moment of surprise and maybe even softness was soon ended when she heard the last part. "Acting like what?" she asked with a questioning look.

He opened his arms and a bitter smile appeared on his lips, as he seemed to struggle before answering. "Like a child without her toy. I stood there watching you be engaged with Lord Merton without saying anything, and now that I'm finally trying to move on and be happy, here you go instead, suddenly acting jealous! You just – you should let me go…"

Isobel was caught off guard by that unexpected confession and for a long moment found herself at complete loss of words. Actually, more than his words, it was his expression to shock her; he seemed almost ready to beg: something that really looked strange on his face. She wasn't that blind to see his concrete suffering, but yet she wasn't ready to let the hidden meaning of his words to fully sink in. So, eventually, she chose to understand only the worst part of it, which also happened to be the safest.

"I can't see why you are telling me that, since you seem to be quite happy with Mrs Murray anyway…" she replied putting on a proud face. And she didn't even realize that in that way she was doing exactly the opposite of what she should have done: acting jealous.

However, that further proof only made Richard getting angry somehow; after casting her a reproachful look, he let out a chuckle, a cold and sharp one, and then rolled his eyes. "Honestly, Isobel, how can you think I am anything but helplessy in love with you?"

He had let the words come out loudly and without filters, and now he was just left with their painful echo. For the second time, he was showing his rare anger to her; for the second time, he was saying precious things – her name the last time, this confession of love now –through an awful yell. But yet, by the way he was trying hard to look at her in the eyes, he didn't seem to regret that outburst at all; on the contrary, it was almost coming out as a relief, after years and years of loving her in silence.

As he was looking at her, she was returning that look with an equal intensity. Ignoring the real nature of their relationship was impossible now and this time she didn't even want to, actually. Anger, passion, desire: she was clearly seeing all of this in his eyes, when she never knew until that moment that he could have it in him. They stared at each other in silence, but with every passing second, his ardour intesified and propagated to her: his fire quickly became her fire as well.

She was the first to dare a move, raising a hand to touch his face, but as soon as their skins made contact, an impulse led to another and soon it was impossible to know which of them was in control. Suddenly, both her hands were on his face, his ones were holding her waist and their lips naturally pressed one against the other. She quickly moved her arms around his neck in order to attract him more, while he pushed her gently but at the same time firmly against the wall; in the meanwhile, her lips parted and he didn't hesitate to deepen the contact. There was nothing tender about that kiss, instead there was desperation, anger and the undeniable latent attraction that was finally being expressed.

He hadn't been waiting for anything else probably since they had met, she knew that and didn't want that moment to end too. Both of them were experiencing what probably was the best kiss of their whole life, so it came as a disappointment when he suddenly released her and stepped back.

"Richard, I…" she started but then immediately stopped. And it wasn't clear wheter it was for lack of air or actual uncertainty.

But if she didn't know what to say, he had a precise idea in mind instead. "I am sorry" he just said, with sudden new detachment.

Richard offered her a quick apologetic smile, but kept avoiding her look and, in a matter of seconds, he started to walk away as if nothing ever happened. He didn't look back and she didn't call for him. Left alone, with a confused mind and the already addictive new taste in her mouth, Isobel allowed the tears to form in her eyes.

And she eventually did the thing that he had asked her to: let him go.

Boom! Richard and Isobel had a chance to "talk" about their feelings, even if they still didn't get a happy ending together. The idea of this chapter was vaguely inspired by an episode of Grey's Anatomy (I think that the parallel can be done since we are talking about doctors anyway lol). Thank you for the reviews and I would really like to know your opinion about this chapter as well!:)