What?
That was it.
That was the only thing his mind seemed capable of coming up with at the moment.
Just that same word echoing off the inner walls of his skull as all other intelligent thoughts were banished to the recesses of his brain while he tried to comprehend the meaning of what this woman before him had just said.
"I asked how long you two have been together, you're a couple aren't you dears?" asked the woman as her smile turned into a confused frown.
At the question Frisk snapped out of her stunned silence, an embarrassed grin taking over her face as she attempted to explain.
"No, no nothing like that. Papyrus and I are just very good friends," she said waving one of her hands in denial, the other clutching the nice cream stick. "And that's probably for the best anyway, he's way out of my league if I'm being honest."
It was that nervously chuckled line that woke the skeleton from his stupor, his sockets wide while his white pupils shot to the side to look at his friend.
Frisk?
The woman merely gave a small laugh as she touched one of her reddening cheeks, "Oh my, then please excuse my assumptions."
"Not at all Miss," replied the skeleton. "While The Great Papyrus is a friend to all he makes sure to shower his closest friends and family with all the love and affection they deserve, so it is understandable how you might mistake the attention for something of a more romantic nature."
The three of them spoke for a bit more after that; Papyrus and Frisk learned that the young lady was named Abigail and she had recently begun dating her cat monster friend Kurtis after four years of knowing each other. She admitted that she'd been so ecstatic about it that when she saw the two of them together, she assumed they shared her good fortune and wanted to congratulate them. After apologizing again and being reassured by the pair that it was quite alright, Abigail bid them goodbye and that they enjoyed the rest of their day.
"Well that was awkward to say the least," the girl mumbled into her popsicle as they continued to walk back to their spot.
"Maybe just a little," agreed Pap as he stared at the ground, his cheekbones turning that familiar shade of amber. "Frisk, did you really mean what you told Abigail? About me being out of your league?"
"Well yeah," she smiled. "You're The Great Papyrus, adored by all and a royal guardsmen with the highest of standards. I was lucky to get that one date with you back when we first met, now come on it looks like Sans is awake now."
The tall skeleton let out as small sigh as he watched her take the lead, normally praise like that would have filled his soul with joy, yet something about the way she had phrased it made a knot form in his phantom stomach. Pushing these strange feelings to the back of his mind he quickly caught up to the human, greeted his now conscious brother and got back to acting like his normal super cool self.
~}{~
"You sure you don't wanna join us kiddo? You haven't been by Grillby's in a while and I know he'd be real glad ta see ya," said Sans as they dropped the girl off in front of her house.
"Yes Frisk, are you certain you do not wish to accompany us? While the wide assortment of greasy food might be a bit off pointing, I assure you that since your last visit there have been far healthy additions made to the menu," added his brother.
Leaning against the passenger's side door the ambassador let out a good natured sigh, "Trust me there's nothing I'd love more than to spend the evening with you guys and have one of Grillby's famous burgers. Unfortunately though if I don't want to be up to my eyeball in paperwork tomorrow, I'd better call it a night."
"Heh, works a bitch ain't it?" the smaller man smirked.
"You have no idea." His smirk lessened at that. The tone was playful sure, but Sans had known Frisk long enough to see the real disappointment hidden behind those hazel orbs of hers.
"Look it's your first day off in a while and it'd be a shame if it had to end like this. What say I grab your favorite and swing by later?"
"Really?" she asked perking up slightly at his offer. "I mean I wouldn't want you to go out of your way just for that."
"That's the beauty of a shortcut kiddo it's no skin off my nose," Sans winked.
His grin coming back as he watched Frisk giggle and heard the not so subtle grumbles of Papyrus behind him.
What the girl did next took both brothers by surprise as she bent over the door, cupped the left side of Sans' mandible and planted a kiss on his forehead.
"Thank you Sans, I really do appreciate it," she said before straightening up and allowing her hand to fall to her side.
Eye sockets wide for but a second the comedian was quick to respond. Rubbing the back of his skull with his right hand while trying to ignore the tingling in his face that signified a light dusting of cyan across his normally ivory complexion. "Yeah you're a… you're welcome, kiddo."
"Well I wouldn't want to keep you two away from dinner. Good night Papy and see you later Sans?"
"Good night to you as well Frisk."
"Of course, be seeing ya pal."
Waving goodbye the two pulled out of the driveway, the form of their human friend disappearing as they turned the corner.
~}{~
Dinner at Grillby's was a surprisingly short affair for the skeleton brothers, especially considering how much time Sans loved to spend at said establishment. Leisurely partaking in his meal, indulging in some ketchup and some light conversation with various other customers.
He still did those things yet even Papyrus who only visited the restaurant every so often, could tell that his brother was rushing if just a little.
I took 45 minutes for them to finish their food and once the last ketchup soaked fry and bite of burger had been consumed from his plate, Sans had called the fiery bartender over to request the chosen meal of a certain monster ambassador. To go.
They parted ways here, not seeing the point of taking the car back to Frisk's home when his brother could literally teleport to wherever he pleased. Though if he wished the guardsmen could have still tagged along, the king and queen had always been fond of his company and would have been more than happy to invite him in for a slice butterscotch-cinnamon pie. However, it was more than just the dread of bearing witness to another one of Sans and Toriel's infamous pun battles that had the proud skeleton politely decline.
Thoughts of earlier came rushing back to him halfway through his chicken salad, the same odd feelings from before returning no less confusing as when they'd first revealed themselves.
What did one have to do with the other?
Where they even linked at all?
And above all what did they mean?
The more he thought about it the less it made sense, like repeatedly trying to push a square peg through a round whole despite knowing that no matter how many times he tried it just wasn't the solution.
It was a puzzle he couldn't seem to solve.
That was how Papyrus found himself on the doorstep of his dear friend and mentor, Undyne. He had always found solace in going to the fish monster when he had a problem. Her advice always encouraging, if not helpful.
She was a passionate person, more so than anyone else he knew and her ability to understand the feelings of others was one of the things that made her such an effective captain of the royal guard. He knew that if anyone could help him understand what he was feeling it was her and once he understood the nature of these pieces, it would only be a matter of time before he could the whole picture together.
~}{~
"And then she said she was lucky to get that one date with me back when we first met," the skeleton recounted. A frown twisting his normally jovial expression as he sat at Undyne's kitchen table, nursing a cup of golden flower tea.
The captain patiently listened from her chosen spot by the stove, leaning back against the counter as she took in his words.
"Haha yeah I remember both of you telling me about that. Man you guys are such dorks!"
"Undyne please, this is a serious matter!" Papyrus huffed. Though the pouty expression he bore did well to contradict him.
"Is it?" she asked raising the brow of her one good eye. "Because to me it just sounds like some lady mistook you and the punk for a couple and after the two of you set her straight Frisk gave your ego a stroke."
"But there has to more to it than that!"
There has to be, I mean if it were nothing then why am I feeling this way? There's something I'm missing here. I know it.
"W-what's with all t-the noise in here?" Came a familiar stutter as the royal scientist padded into the room, her claws clacking against the tile beneath her bare feet. "O-oh Papyrus, what a p-pleasant surprise. W-what brings you here at t-this time of night?"
"Good evening Dr. Alphys," he greeted. "I apologize for the suddenness of my visit but I really needed some advice."
"A-about what?" she asked. Her back turned as she sifted around in the cupboard for an extra teacup.
"Nothing too serious babe, just this thing that happened at the park today that's got Pap all weirded out."
Humming in understanding the lizard made her wave over to an empty chair, then politely thanked her girlfriend for filling her cup before giving her guest her full attention. "T-tell me about it, m-maybe I can help."
"That's a wonderful idea!" Papyrus chirped. His sudden shift in mood proving infectious as it prompted a hearty laugh from his mentor.
"Of course it is, my girl's a genius after all!" The warrior pumped her fist in the air with fire in her single optic, "If I can't figure this out she sure as hell can!"
"L-let's not get ahead of ourselves. I need t-to know what the p-problem is first." Her yellow scales turning a light pink as she tried to distract herself from the praise by hiding her snout behind the rim of her cup.
"Well you see while I was at the park today, Frisk said some things that have me a bit concerned… and I'm not sure why," admitted the skeleton.
"Interesting, c-can you tell me what k-kind of things she said a-and what prompted them i-if you know?" Her face thoughtful as she took a sip of her tea.
"Yes she said I was out of her league and was lucky to have dated me back in the Underground after a nice human lady mistook us for being romantically involved—"
BANG!
The sound of porcelain hitting wood rang out, causing both Undyne and Papyrus to jump. The two of them staring at Alphys who looked back at the bone man in front of her, eyes wide and hands clasped tightly around her cup, ignoring the spilled tea that now dripped down its sides.
Confused and somewhat frightened the guardsmen attempted to break the silence. He opened his mouth to ask the scientist what was wrong, only to let out a yelp as she shot up from her seat, grabbed his arm and dragged him out of the room.
He stumbled several times, nearly meeting the floor skull first trying to keep up with someone so much shorter then him. Thankfully it was over as suddenly as it had started as he was pushed backward, awkwardly landing on one end of the living room's comfy blue couch while the lizard woman took the other.
"NOW, tell me everything," said Alphys, her stutter forsaken. Holding up two fists she leaned her body closer, as if waiting to be told the most wondrous of secrets. While her eyes sparkled in a way they only did when she was watching some of her favorite anime.
~}{~
Doing as asked Papyrus once again recounted the events of the day.
"…Seeing that she was upset that it had been so long since she'd had one and didn't even get the chance to finish it, I did what any real gentlemen like myself would do and I offered her the remained of mine. That's when Miss Abigail came over to us and we had our misunderstanding."
By the time he had finished Alphys was full on gushing, "Oh my god, oh my god, oh my GOD! That's practically the set up for every rom-com anime ever! No wonder this woman thought you two were a thing!"
"But I was merely sharing with her, that's what friends do!" the skeleton tried to argue.
"Look at it from an outsider's perspective bonehead," said Undyne as she gave him a mock slap to the back of the head. Then plopped herself onto the coffee table in front of where they sat, "You and her, two grown adults talking and laughing and all smile. Then you feed her nice cream. Nice cream that was yours and had been in contact with your mouth?"
"Yes?" answered Papyrus uncertainly.
"You gave her an indirect kiss!" added the scientist.
At the realization of what that meant the guard in training went limp, falling forward and slamming his forehead on the table beside the fish.
"Okay that's bad, but what does it have to do with my weird feelings?" his voice muffled as he spoke into the wood.
Alphys smirked at the question, leaning back into the cushion as she adjusted her glasses in the same manner she'd seen so many badass bespectacled anime characters do, "Well from what you've told me these negative reactions occurred each time Frisk said something self-deprecating."
"So what you're saying is, he feels bad that she said she's not good enough to date him?" Undyne clarified.
"Partially yes, but I believe there's more to this. Papyrus," she said turning to him. "What else happened today, tell us everything that Frisk may have said or done up until the incident."
With some effort on his part the girl's guest managed to pry himself away from his self-loathing, once again relaying the events of the day, this time from the moment they had arrived at the human's home.
"Well I believe my hypothesis has been confirmed."
"So what's the diagnosis babe?" the warrior wondered.
"What happened with that woman, the put downs, the uneasy feelings; it's guilt," stated Alphys as she looked at the monster beside her. "You feel guilty about rejecting her all that time ago and after hearing how the day went I can understand why."
"I don't believe I follow Doctor, what does that mean?" asked the skeleton.
"What you described of Frisk's behavior is nothing unusual for her, she's always been very comfortable around close friends and family to the point where she's basically flirting. That's just how she is, however if we choose to look at this as something more serious…"
As the drake allowed her words to trail off Papyrus felt the epiphany he'd been waiting for crash over him, a rushing torrent of understanding that slammed into him with the force of a tsunami.
"I'M A HORRIBLE BEST FRIEND!" he screamed as he buried his face in his boney hands. And for perhaps the first time in his life The Great Papyrus did the one thing he thought he would never do, he insult himself.
I'm an idiot! An oblivious, selfish, IDIOT!
"How was I so blind to the fact that the human still had lingering feelings for me?"
"Aw come on Pap the punk's a flirt, we all know that," cooed the captain as she patted his skull in an attempt to sooth him. "Besides it's been three years since that date, I'm sure she's over it by now."
"That doesn't make it better, if anything that makes it worse!" he cried. His body curling in on itself as he brought his legs up onto the seat to wrap his arms around them.
The two women simply sat there and exchanged a look, at a loss for what to do, as neither was very experienced with or skilled in handling a distraught Papyrus.
"Do you know what I told her after that date?" his inquiry surprising them, yet he kept his sockets trained on his kneecaps. "'Someday, you'll find someone as great as me. Well, no. That's not true. But I'll help you settle for second best!' Don't you see, if I haven't thrown salt in her wounds by reminding her of my rejection, then I've reminded her of a promise that I so expertly failed to keep!"
"O-Oh Papyrus," whispered Alphys. She rested a hand on his back and rubbed it in what she hoped was a comforting manner; the rise in the room's tension beckoning back her anxiety and with it her speech impediment.
"Then it's clear whatcha gotta do then," the fish woman announced crossing her arms.
"Undyne?"
Rising to her feet she looked him dead in the eye, "What I gotta spell it out for you knucklehead? I'm saying if you wanna fix this then fulfill your promise and set her up with somebody! With something like this I doubt there's a time limit and even if there was I know the punk would never hold it against ya. SO WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?"
"By god your right!" exclaimed the skeleton as he shot up from his seat. "Someone as great as me doesn't just sit and mope when things like this happen! Ho no! I merely pick myself up, learn from my mistakes and I KEEP GOING!"
"HELL YEAH YOU DO PAP," encouraged Undyne as she saw the fire reignite inside his soul.
"This may be long overdue but mark my words friends, I WILL HELP THE HUMAN FIND SECOND BEST!" he declared pumping a fist into the air.
"NOW THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT! And to make sure you nail this thing me and Alphys will help too!" she said throwing an arm around her girlfriend.
"O-oh yes please? I-I've always wanted to be a matchmaker a-and I've seen this done s-so many times in anime t-that I can give you plenty of ideas on h-how you can set her up!"
"Really friends, you wish to help me in my mission to right this wrong? Then I gladly accept your offer and together we will become the ultimate matchmaking team!" his eyes aglow with anticipation.
"G-great! Oh t-this is so exciting, if you want w-we can start making a list o-of all her potential suitors r-right now," the little scientist squealed giddily.
"I appreciate your enthusiasm Doctor, but I believe I already have the perfect candidate in mind."