Blisters on Her Feet

"This may come as a shock to you, but I've never been in a beauty pageant before. I don't even own a dress – I don't even own a brush."
—Gracie Hart, Miss Congeniality

Sasuke didn't like sweets. He did not like soft, pansy foods. He did not like the cold. He did not like chocolate. He did not like anything that could melt, unless it was because he willed it to. He did not like the weak.

So, Sasuke most definitely did not like ice cream. Especially chocolate ice cream, which was melting even as he watched – glared, really – at it, dropping icky, sticky sugar all over his fingers.

"It doesn't have eyes, stupid," Naruto said, around a mouthful of cookie dough and cone. He sprayed crumbs all over Sasuke. He flicked one away with a shudder. "It can't have a staring contest with you."

"You're such a loser," Sasuke said, turning his nose up at his ice cream. As he did so, he noticed Sakura eyeing it hungrily.

Sasuke paused.

There was a mile-long list of things he didn't like. But there was also a (significantly shorter) list of things he did. These included, but were not limited to: having things someone else didn't; rubbing it in; and torturing the people he held near and dear to his heart (and also the people he didn't).

So, biting back a sneer, he turned back to his dessert.

And took a tentative lick.

Sakura's eyes were wide with shock.

"Yum," he said flatly.

"I hate you," Sakura said, and took a savage bite of her carrot stick.

"I need more," Naruto decided, getting up from his seat. "Anyone want anything? Ino? Sasuke? Kakashi-sensei? Sai? Anyone in this restaurant that isn't Sakura-chan?"

Across from Sasuke, Sakura fumed. As Naruto, chuckling merrily, left to order more ice cream from the front counter of the small ice cream parlor they were in, she said, "What happened to us loving each other? Suffering together? Being one?"

"Ew," Sasuke said.

"Exactly," Kakashi said.

"Ino, can I switch teams with you?"

Ino considered, setting down her spoon. Even she was indulging in a banana split, right before poor, exhausted, starving Sakura's big, sad eyes.

"Trade Chouji for Naruto? Gross. I'll take Sasuke, though. You can have Shikamaru."

"No way!"

Ino's gaze flickered with amusement at the way Sakura, suddenly remembering Sasuke, turned beet red. She coughed, then turned back to nibbling at her carrot sticks.

"So… so, Shikamaru's the judge, huh?" Sakura said quickly, to change the subject. "How's that going for him?"

"He hates it," Ino said cheerfully. "It's great."

"You're not very supportive," Sai said. He was looking at Ino with something akin to admiration, and Sakura made a mental note to keep those two far, far away from each other.

"It's good that we have you on our team," Naruto said, suddenly reappearing at their table. He carried an enormous sundae, which he set on the table in front of him, only inches from Sakura's plate of celery and carrots. She groaned. Naruto ignored her. "I mean, you're his teammate. He's sure to give us special treatment."

"I don't know about that," Ino said, twirling the ends of her ponytail around her finger. "Shikamaru's pretty fair." She turned to Sakura with a gleam in her eyes. "I guess it's up to you, Forehead, to win him over."

Sasuke furrowed his eyebrows, glaring at Ino suspiciously.

"Great," Naruto moaned, around a mouthful of strawberry ice cream. "Sakura-chan's going to have to dress up as a cloud."

-x-

"Chouji, Chouji, Chouji. Don't look so sad! I'm taking care of you, aren't I? And I'll continue to take care of you, as long as Shikamaru doesn't do something stupid. And he won't! He's a genius, right?"

Chouji nodded shakily, trying to calm his racing pulse. Anko, crouched before Chouji, pursed her lips at the fear radiating off of him.

"Tell me, Chouji, why was Shikamaru, of all people, made a judge?"

"I – I don't know, Anko-san."

"Anko-sama."

"Anko-sama. Sorry."

"You're such a polite boy, Chouji. And so obedient." She smiled at him, and Chouji shrunk back in the chair he was bound to. "I might have to keep you, Chouji. Don't look so scared. We'd have such fun. We'd eat all your favorite meals!"

Chouji perked up at this. The anxious fluttering in his stomach died down somewhat.

"There we go. Give Anko-hime a smile."

"Anko-hime?"

"Exactly." Anko got to her feet and stretched her arms high above her head. "Speaking of food, let's get dinner. You like Korean barbecue, right?"

Chouji grinned shyly, feeling his bindings begin to slip away. He didn't want to think of what had been holding him in place.

"Right, Anko-hime-sama."

-x-

"No," Tenten hissed, when she entered the bathroom and found Neji standing by the tub. "Absolutely not. No way in hell. Negatory. I refuse. I do not accept. The opposite of yes."

"Would you rather Lee do it?" Neji asked, one eyebrow raised. When Tenten faltered, he gestured to the tub. "Stop complaining, then."

Eyeing him warily, Tenten slipped into the tub at Neji's feet, clutching the towel tightly around her torso. Neji, for his part, tried to remain straight-faced and not thinking about Tenten sitting quite helplessly in his tub without any clothes on, by thinking, instead, of Lee in his underwear.

"Neji? Why are you twitching?"

Neji took a deep breath and got to his knees behind Tenten. Her hair was already loose, flowing in messy waves down her back. Her back, Neji remembered with a rush, which was bare but for a thin scrap of towel. Why, he could, at any point, rip that towel away and see Tenten, in all her lovely… femaleness.

Neji squirmed. He had a feeling he would need a shower himself, after this. A very, very cold one.

Neji ran his fingers experimentally through Tenten's hair. Or tried to, at least.

"When's the last time you brushed your hair?"

"Um… last Tuesday, I think."

Neji was horrified. With a sigh, he reached for the brush on the floor beside him and began to run it, gently, through Tenten's hair.

In response, she sighed, leaning back against the tub. Neji could see how the muscles in her (bare, creamy white, soft, smooth) shoulders relaxed, and couldn't resist a smirk. Oh, yeah. He knew his stuff.

"I must say, this is an improvement over Lee's preparations," she said. "You should brush my hair more often. Preferably when I'm not sitting in your tub. This is kind of uncomfortable."

"After I wash your hair, you can get out." And she would be able to put some clothes on. Although Tenten had been willing to get her clothes soaked, Gai had insisted she dress herself in a towel instead. After all, it wasn't like Neji would violate her in any way.

Yeah, well, they would just have to see if Neji could control himself once Tenten was dripping wet all over his bathroom floor.

"You know, I can wash my hair myself," Tenten said, for the fourth time that evening.

"Not as well as I can," Neji said, and immediately regretted it when she laughed. In response, he yanked the brush, hard, through a tight tangle of hair.

"Ow!"

"Sorry. Muscle spasm."

Once the tangles were out, Neji turned to pouring bowls of water over Tenten's head. Though the shower was more efficient, this way would keep him dry and able to work on her hair properly.

She moaned happily as he massaged shampoo into her hair, and Neji swallowed.

"So, Tenten." His voice cracked; he prayed she hadn't noticed. "Why did you agree to this pageant?"

"Because Gai-sensei made me."

"Is that all?"

"Mmhmm."

So far, so good. "And… do you want to win?"

"Of course I do. Haven't you seen the prize?"

Neji's hopes cam crashing down. He tensed. "Yes," he bit out. "Uchiha Sasuke."

"Exactly. I would love to have him as my date for a week! No other girl has ever managed that. I would completely show them all up!"

So Tenten didn't care about Sasuke. She just cared about beating the entirety of Konoha's female population.

Neji could deal with that.

"Out of curiosity, Neji, have you ever thought about going into hairdressing?"

Very calmly, Neji dunked a bowl of cold water over Tenten's head.

-x-

"Alright, man and dog. There it is. The witch's lair."

"Witch? I thought 'snake-charmer' fit better."

"Yeah, but 'witch' rhymes with 'bitch.'"

"…"

"Is it just me, or does 'bitch' seem like a pet-name or something, coming from me?"

Shino closed his eyes and rubbed his temples and hoped that, when he opened his eyes, Kiba might have grown a brain. He was starting to feel an odd sort of kinship with Uchiha Sasuke.

"Let's just go," he said, and Kiba nodded dutifully.

"Let's do this. Shino, send out—" He narrowed his eyes and gestured – overdramatically and unnecessarily, Shino thought – to the surprisingly ordinary-looking apartment across the street from them—"the bugs."

With a roll of his eyes, Shino complied. Kiba clapped him on the back.

"You are truly the lord of the flies, man."

-x-

Just as Chouji was starting on his second serving, Anko stiffened.

"Anko-sama…?"

She didn't reply, instead narrowing her eyes in concentration. Then she stood from her seat and rounded the table, crossing the room in quick, deadly silent steps.

Chouji's heart thudded in his chest as he followed, only slightly less stealthily. As he came up behind Anko, he noticed the figure at the end of the hall.

She didn't seem to have noticed. As Chouji watched, the figure aimed at Anko, and—

"Anko-sama!"

"Chouji, duck!"

She tackled him to the ground, then rolled away and bounced back up onto the balls of her feet. Chouji had no time to react before he was being hauled to his feet.

"Move, Chouji!"

"Kiba? What—"

"No time! Come on, let's go!"

"But Anko-sama—"

"Shino's taking care of it!" he hissed. "Come on!" When Chouji turned, instead, to where Anko was fighting with the shadowed figure – Shino, he assumed – Kiba sighed in exasperation and called for Akamaru.

In the next instant, Chouji was being carted away against his will by Kiba and Akamaru, Anko's furious screams ringing out behind him.

"Chouji!"

He turned and saw her expression, for only a second, desperate and anguished.

And then they were gone.

-x-

When Sakura woke up the next morning, she was unsurprised – though plenty peeved – to see Ino sitting on the edge of her bed, clipboard in hand.

"Did you know you snore?" Ino said cheerfully once she saw Sakura was awake. "Come on, come on, up, up, up! The pageant's in five days, and we have so much to do!"

In response, Sakura's stomach rumbled.

"Breakfast first," she said flatly. "Then I have to go to work."

"No work. You may, however, train. That can actually help. And I have a great breakfast for you."

Sakura perked up and began climbing out of bed. "Oh yeah?"

"Yeah! So go get ready and meet me in the kitchen. Okay?"

"Give me ten minutes," Sakura said. Then she left the room, nearly skipping in excitement at the prospect of real food.

Ino rolled her eyes as she left. Sakura was such a drama queen.

-x-

"This is my 'great breakfast'?" Sakura demanded, gesturing to the plate of vegetables and the single glass of water laid out for her. "This is what I had last night!"

"Of course it isn't," Naruto said. "There's broccoli today. See, Sakura-chan? Yummy!" He beamed at her, then returned to his breakfast of ramen. It said something about Sakura's hunger that she would have given anything to trade with him.

Ino was glaring at her, as if she could read her mind, so, with a sigh, Sakura dropped into her seat and began to pick glumly at her breakfast.

"Where are the others?"

"Sai is getting your wardrobe ready," Ino said, checking her clipboard. "Kakashi-sensei is setting up your training regime. Sasuke's probably getting another ice cream." At Sakura's expression, Ino added, "He's so ungrateful of your sacrifice."

"What a jerk," Naruto offered helpfully.

"Anyway, after you eat, we're going to train for a few hours. You've gotten soft, working in the hospital."

"I have not!"

"Soft is good, Sakura-chan," Naruto said.

"Stop looking at me like that, you pervert."

"Soft is not good," Ino snapped, slamming down her clipboard. She poked Sakura in the cheek rather harshly. "Soft is for the weak, and the weak don't win."

Sakura just looked at her.

Ino pulled back and picked up her clipboard once more, clearing her throat. "Anyway, after training, we'll break for lunch, then come back here, get you cleaned up, and organize our game plan, try on your outfits. And then dinner, which is when the real fun starts."

Sakura didn't like how Ino had said that.

She was starting to think she was in way over her head.

Sorry for the late update! I've been busy. With origfic. What an excuse, eh? Anyway, next chapter will be sooner! Seriously.

Sometimes I get a review that totally makes my life, but there's nothing I can really do to thank the reviewer except, well, dedicating a chapter to them. Which doesn't do much, but still, here's to you, QueenThayet12990.

So, next chapter: Shikamaru learns something very disturbing, Hinata has a run-in with her favorite blond (and Kiba gets an idea), and Sakura and Shikamaru finally actually get a moment.