"Did you say Cthulhu, Lucas?" Ben asked. "As in the big scary guy with tentacles? As in the evil overlord guy? As in not real?"
Lucas turned to look at his friend. "Yeah." His blue eyes were mix of shock and amusement. "I think Leslie is even more bonkers than you thought, Ben."
"But it's just a book! An old story!" Tim said lifting his head. There was a red mark where he had slammed down on the desk.
"Well..." Ben started, "So is the bible to some people."
Tim glared at him. "That's different."
"Actually, depending on the person it isn't." Lucas attempted. "It's like the flying spaghetti monster theory." Both men blinked at him in confusion. "Yeah... never mind," he backpedaled. "So what do we do? We can only play along so much, when he sees it not working he's going to flip... well... flip more."
Tim sighed, and rubbed his sore head. "I'll try to translate it. It wasn't ever meant to be a real language but I'll see what I can do." He glanced at Lucas. "Your blue mouth... how did that happen? He thinks it's some kind of mark labeling you as a follower."
Lucas gave Ben a dark look. "A pen exploded in my mouth. But that was never in the original story."
"It's been rewritten so many time and there are so many pop culture references to it, who knows what version he's reading." Tim explained simply.
"We'll just have to use it to our advantage," Lucas vowed. "It shouldn't be too hard.
The Regulator walked back into the cave carrying a tray. "I brought coffee for you sir." He told Lucas, still smiling wildly.
"Um, thanks Leslie, do you think ... my uh, men could have some too? They will be assisting me." Lucas pretended not to see the dirty looks he was getting from Tim and Ben.
"Yes sir, anything you need sir." Leslie groveled.
Ben barely contained his snort as the tall man ran back to his supply room. "Your men? This is going to get old fast."
"So is dying," retorted Lucas.
Leslie quickly returned with the coffee and set it on the desk. "Anything else you need sir?" He looked like a puppy waiting for a treat.
"Um, why don't you sit with me for a while? Tell me how you became involved with... our... uh… dark lord."
Lucas pulled out a chair for the man and he looked like he had be offered the crown jewels. "Oh, you are most kind, thank you sir. Yes, as you know, I was searching for spherical evolution. After your dolphin answered my questions, I was rather lost. I met these interesting gentlemen who taught me all about the Great Old Ones. I was awed. I was looking for the center of the universe but they were offering information so astounding it drove people mad! How could I resist?"
"So you decided to raise the... Great Old Ones?" Lucas was scrambling to remember everything he read in the story from his childhood, but was coming up quite lacking.
"Yes, yes! I found this ad, the one you so cleverly unlocked in the chip, for a stone tablet written very long ago. It holds the secret to unlocking Cthulhu. I wanted to buy it immediately of course, but the chip was damaged when my sub crashed. I lost the information." His face fell into deep despair. "I only hope he will forgive me for making him wait so long."
Lucas was desperately trying to not look at Ben and Tim who were watching them with wide eyes behind the Regulator. He kept his mind on track. "Well, Leslie, we are trying very hard to translate the tablet. You have done very well so far." Leslie looked at him in amazement and smiled. "I see that your facilities are rather limited. Do you think we... could go to the SeaQuest? I believe we could get much more done there."
"Oh no, no sir. I am sorry but you must stay here. People will try to stop us. In fact, you will need to stay in the cage for your own protection! And Verne... Verne come here! He will watch for anyone who breaks in. He can activate the traps if anyone comes in. We will be safe until the Great Old Ones come!"
"That's... that's great, thank you." Lucas slumped in his seat, rubbing the bridge of his nose to hide the look of annoyance on his face.
"I will let you get back to work, sir." Leslie stood suddenly and bolted from the room.
"Well, that went well." Ben said dryly.
Tim laughed, "You have some interesting friends."
"Blame Ben." Lucas grumbled. "You heard him, even if we get a message to the SeaQuest they could be hurt breaking in. Who knows what the whack job has squirreled away for uninvited guests?"
"We need to get out of this cave. If we can't back on the ship, we'll have to get up-world." Lucas changed the subject. "Tim, can you fake the translation and make it sound real?"
"Of course I can." Tim said, sounding annoyed and almost insulted at the thought that he couldn't.
"Great. Tell him... Tell him we need to do a weird ritual that involves a lot of ... stuff." Lucas racked his brain for a plan.
"Weird and stuff... got it." Tim started making notes.
"Ok, I've got it." Tim said with undisguised glee. The others gathered around him. "The ritual must be done on a raised area facing the west sea. A dweller of the deep with uncommon knowledge will summon him after the mixing of powdered palladium with the blood of a believer."
"No!" Growled Lucas, "you are not involving Darwin in this. I won't let him get hurt."
Ben placed himself between the glaring youth and the surprised Communications Officer. "Lucas, he can get a message to the Captain and get us help. It may be the only way." Lucas glared at both men before walking away and sulking in the cage.
The tense silence was interrupted by the Regulator coming in. "Time for bed boys!" He announced happily. "And a report if I may?"
"Um, yes." Started Tim. "We have the translation. It will take some work though, we'll need supplies."
"Excellent!" Leslie exclaimed with a mad glint in his eye. "What will we need?" Tim handed him the paper he had been writing his notes on. "Hm not underwater, that's odd... palladium... not too hard to get, but difficult to shatter. It may take few days. Blood of a believer, well there's plenty of us for that!" He paused, "dweller of the deep with uncommon knowledge... we all know who that is." He smiled at Lucas triumphantly. "That part should be easy!"
Lucas bit down on his lip to keep from screaming. He fully understood Darwin may be their best chance but the idea of putting him danger freaked the teen out. "Yes," he forced out. "How can we get him here?"
The Regulator regarded him for a moment before smiling. "He's already here. I do enjoy your tests sir." He clapped his hands. "Ok, everyone in for safe keeping!" Ben and Tim filed in behind Lucas, and sat with their backs pressed against the bars. There was really nothing else they could do at the moment.
Leslie locked the door behind them. "Hm?" He asked, turning. They looked at him in confusion. "What did you want to happen? That's too easy."
"Who is he talking to?" Ben asked quietly. Leslie had his back towards them and was having an in depth conversation with the far wall.
Leslie turned back to them, "I'm sorry, that was rude. I just wish they wouldn't talk to the screen like that." He walked out of the room after giving Verne a pat.
"What the...?"