Y a m a z a k i ' s D i a r y
A/N: Ah, another entry of Yamazaki's Diary, it will bring you back to the good ol' days when cookies were big, red, and made to look like bricks. Bon appetite!
Please, ~read and review~! (Don't stop now! WE CAN MAKE IT TO 10 000 REVIEWS!!!!)
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May 2nd, 5000
Most Dearest Diary,
Today I will prove myself to all of them! It is morning now, and I am going to let you in on my plan! Last night I baked five GIANT cookies and dyed them red so that they looked like brick walls. Today, I am going to do a presentation for my class on how I can break them with a single karate chop, AND THEN EAT THEM! No one will doubt my toughness then! They will all bow before me!
I have to leave for school. I would say wish me luck, but this plan is too perfect to fail!
. . .
Well, I will admit, the Plan wasn't completely fool proof. What happened was that I was just setting up my stuff when Eriol (still sore from my victory yesterday, no doubt!) asked if all my presentation was eating four (I ate the fifth on the way to school) giant red cookies. With all my karate mind-training calmness I explained to him that they weren't cookies, and the presentation was a surprise. Then I let out my coolest yell and brought my fist down onto the first cookie. I must not have baked it properly, because it didn't break! I tried again and again, but still nothing! So, I skipped to the end and ate it, and then ate the rest because once I start eating I can't stop. Sadly, the class was too in awe to cheer for me. Don't they have any manners?!
To make matters worse, I let out the biggest belch once I was seated. That would have been perfect, if the teacher hadn't given me a detention for expelling gas in the class room. Actually, he gave me the detention for arguing with him. I said it was a completely natural and beautiful expression of emotions. I told him that burping suddenly and loudly after eating bricks was a sign of boredom. I was hoping he would get the point and spice up the lesson a bit, but he didn't. Some people just can't take a hint! So, now, I am sitting in detention writing this.
Oh, no! Terada is talking to Kaho! I tried to act like there was nothing going on between us, but she slipped up and kept laughing from her insane love for me tickling her mercilessly. She said something to him, and now he is laughing too! I had no idea how he felt! How could I ever doubt my coolness? They are coming over here now, must stop writing for now.
. . .
It turns out that neither of them was being tickled by love! They were being tickled by my cookie story! I told them that if they used it for profit I would file a plagiarism suit and sue them for all they were worth- maybe more! They just laughed more. Maybe I had stuff on my face. Terada (the weasel) gave me a note to give my parents. I sneaked a peak at it on the way home. It went something like:
Dear Mr and Mrs Yamazaki,
In addition to skipping class numerous times in the past semester (once this week) today, Yamazaki ate four giant, red cookies in front of the class and burped loudly. I was completely willing to excuse this, and I told him to excuse himself after he burps, but he talked back to me in an offensive manner. It also should be known that he has been terrorizing nearby secondary school students, teachers, and students in his class.
I would like to schedule a meeting to discuss these matters with you.
Sincerely,
Mr Terada
That guy! I am so mad! I gave the note to my parents of course, or else he would be hounding us tomorrow, asking stupid questions about my home life. Mom is asking me what the heck he was talking about. I think I am ready to tell the truth.
. . .
She didn't believe me! How dare she not believe me! Since when has she ever had any reason to doubt me? Did Thomas Jefferson run from his English teacher? NO! He stood by and took the blows to show what a man he is! And they expect me to do the same? Heck, I don't want to be the president of the United States! Still, they are making me go back to school tomorrow. How I can ever show my adorable (but shame filled) face at that place ever again, I just don't know.
I think I will telephone Terada and tell him it was all a mistake. Normally I wouldn't call people after 1am, but we all know that teachers never sleep!
. . .
Apparently this one does! The nerve of him, talking so groggily! If I were any more offended, I'd be twins! He says he wants to talk to me tom0rrow! I'd like to see him try, as I will be halfway to Russia by then! So long, sucker!
Lotsa love,
Yamazaki
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A/N: Does Yamazaki really have what it takes to be President? Will Yamazaki really go to Russia? It is improbable that these questions will be answered in the next entry of. YAMAZAKI'S DIARY!!
PLEASE REVIEW!!!!!!!
~And for another story, not unlike this one, check out -Snaperiffic!-
A/N: Ah, another entry of Yamazaki's Diary, it will bring you back to the good ol' days when cookies were big, red, and made to look like bricks. Bon appetite!
Please, ~read and review~! (Don't stop now! WE CAN MAKE IT TO 10 000 REVIEWS!!!!)
----
May 2nd, 5000
Most Dearest Diary,
Today I will prove myself to all of them! It is morning now, and I am going to let you in on my plan! Last night I baked five GIANT cookies and dyed them red so that they looked like brick walls. Today, I am going to do a presentation for my class on how I can break them with a single karate chop, AND THEN EAT THEM! No one will doubt my toughness then! They will all bow before me!
I have to leave for school. I would say wish me luck, but this plan is too perfect to fail!
. . .
Well, I will admit, the Plan wasn't completely fool proof. What happened was that I was just setting up my stuff when Eriol (still sore from my victory yesterday, no doubt!) asked if all my presentation was eating four (I ate the fifth on the way to school) giant red cookies. With all my karate mind-training calmness I explained to him that they weren't cookies, and the presentation was a surprise. Then I let out my coolest yell and brought my fist down onto the first cookie. I must not have baked it properly, because it didn't break! I tried again and again, but still nothing! So, I skipped to the end and ate it, and then ate the rest because once I start eating I can't stop. Sadly, the class was too in awe to cheer for me. Don't they have any manners?!
To make matters worse, I let out the biggest belch once I was seated. That would have been perfect, if the teacher hadn't given me a detention for expelling gas in the class room. Actually, he gave me the detention for arguing with him. I said it was a completely natural and beautiful expression of emotions. I told him that burping suddenly and loudly after eating bricks was a sign of boredom. I was hoping he would get the point and spice up the lesson a bit, but he didn't. Some people just can't take a hint! So, now, I am sitting in detention writing this.
Oh, no! Terada is talking to Kaho! I tried to act like there was nothing going on between us, but she slipped up and kept laughing from her insane love for me tickling her mercilessly. She said something to him, and now he is laughing too! I had no idea how he felt! How could I ever doubt my coolness? They are coming over here now, must stop writing for now.
. . .
It turns out that neither of them was being tickled by love! They were being tickled by my cookie story! I told them that if they used it for profit I would file a plagiarism suit and sue them for all they were worth- maybe more! They just laughed more. Maybe I had stuff on my face. Terada (the weasel) gave me a note to give my parents. I sneaked a peak at it on the way home. It went something like:
Dear Mr and Mrs Yamazaki,
In addition to skipping class numerous times in the past semester (once this week) today, Yamazaki ate four giant, red cookies in front of the class and burped loudly. I was completely willing to excuse this, and I told him to excuse himself after he burps, but he talked back to me in an offensive manner. It also should be known that he has been terrorizing nearby secondary school students, teachers, and students in his class.
I would like to schedule a meeting to discuss these matters with you.
Sincerely,
Mr Terada
That guy! I am so mad! I gave the note to my parents of course, or else he would be hounding us tomorrow, asking stupid questions about my home life. Mom is asking me what the heck he was talking about. I think I am ready to tell the truth.
. . .
She didn't believe me! How dare she not believe me! Since when has she ever had any reason to doubt me? Did Thomas Jefferson run from his English teacher? NO! He stood by and took the blows to show what a man he is! And they expect me to do the same? Heck, I don't want to be the president of the United States! Still, they are making me go back to school tomorrow. How I can ever show my adorable (but shame filled) face at that place ever again, I just don't know.
I think I will telephone Terada and tell him it was all a mistake. Normally I wouldn't call people after 1am, but we all know that teachers never sleep!
. . .
Apparently this one does! The nerve of him, talking so groggily! If I were any more offended, I'd be twins! He says he wants to talk to me tom0rrow! I'd like to see him try, as I will be halfway to Russia by then! So long, sucker!
Lotsa love,
Yamazaki
-----
A/N: Does Yamazaki really have what it takes to be President? Will Yamazaki really go to Russia? It is improbable that these questions will be answered in the next entry of. YAMAZAKI'S DIARY!!
PLEASE REVIEW!!!!!!!
~And for another story, not unlike this one, check out -Snaperiffic!-