I know you all have just been waiting for some Clowen sweetness so enjoy it now.

Ch.4 My Heart Grows at the Sight of You

(CLARE)

Clinging to Owen, my face buried into his chest I deeply inhale his scent and feel the comfort of his arms around me. I was trying not to cry, trying not to panic, trying to assure myself that I would be safe, that everyone would be safe but it wasn't working. Within seconds there was a stampede coming toward us, my SSS was on it's way. This only made me feel slightly better however, I still felt like the Terror Twins were in the school, like they were watching.

"What happened?" Drew asks putting a hand on my back and Owen hands him the note.

"We've only got a few classes left we should go back to my place," Drew says.

"But they were there too, they can find me anywhere, if you're there then they'll just hurt you," I speak up, mostly into Owen's chest as I begin to panic and all my rational thought turns to anxious fear.

"They won't do anything with all of us there," Owen assures me as I hear more people coming. "It was taped to the inside of her locker, if they aren't getting in the school then they definitely have help," Owen tells Principal Simpson and Officer Turner.

"We're taking her back to our house and all of the SSS should come," Drew informs them.

"I'll inform your teachers," Simpson replies.

"I'll make sure patrol is doubled around your house," Officer Turner tells us.

"Come on Gorgeous let's get you out of here," Owen says turning but keeping an arm around me so we can walk.

The SSS forms a circle around me so we can walk but no one can see me. I'm trying not to panic, trying to hold it together but I just keep seeing Reese and Fitz. I shut my eyes and tell myself they aren't there but it doesn't matter they're in my head. Soon memories begin to meld with visions of my worst fears and I can barely walk. I'm walking with my eyes entirely closed and slip on the front steps, almost pulling Owen down with me and knocking into Drew, both of whom catch me. Owen picks me up and just carries me to his car, Adam, Luke and K.C. ride with us. Everyone else splits up amongst Drew, Dave and Bianca's cars and we drive to Adam's house. We get into the basement and I don't feel any safer, all my anxious fear just sort of bursts out!

"They're going to find me, they're going to find me and they're going to take me. You all shouldn't be here; you're putting your lives in danger. You should go, no I should go, I sh…" my frantic ramblings are cut off by Owen's lips on mine.

"I'm not going anywhere, neither is anyone else. I'm not leaving your side Clare and the Terror Twins will have to kill me to get to you," Owen assures me pulling me to the sofa and sitting me on his lap.

"But that's what I'm afraid of," I tell him quietly, laying my head on his shoulder.

He holds me tighter kissing my temple as we hear the interior basement door open and Audra starts coming down the stairs.

"Principal Simpson called, I've cancelled my meeting this afternoon and they've doubled patrols at the house. You kids just stay down here and let me know what you need Clare," Audra says and I nod taking Owen's hand and interlacing our fingers.

"So I take it you two are dating?" Drew remarks when Audra goes back upstairs.

"Yeah and thanks by the way," Owen responds which makes me smile.

"You guys are dating?" Tori asks.

"Yeah for about an hour now," Owen replies and I can hear the grin curling up his lips.

Adam puts on a movie, Drew closes the curtains and I start to feel like we're all hiding out in a cave now. I stay in Owen's lap; Drew and Bianca sit on one side of us and Adam on the other. Maya, Cam, Zig, Tris and Tori all sit on the floor. Dallas, Luke and Becky are on the other end of the sofa with Becky next to Adam. Jenna sits in Luke's lap while Dave, Connor, K.C. and Wes sit on the floor with the niners. I'm safe; I know I'm safe with everyone here, so why am I still so scared? After a short time Audra comes down with snacks, I don't eat much but I do drink a can of soda and then a bottle of water, and then of course I have to pee.

"I have to use the washroom," I whisper softly.

Owen releases me so I can get off his lap and I have step over Tori and Zig to get around the sofa. Locking the door behind me I use the washroom and go to the sink to wash my hands. When I look in the mirror I see Reese's face in the mirror for just a second. I gasp clutching the side of the sink and shutting my eyes tight.

"You aren't real," I whisper to myself keeping my eyes shut tight, "you aren't there, go away!"

I open my eyes and Reese is gone but I'm shaking. It all floods back at once, everything they ever did or said it all comes back. I start crying as I sink down, every scar they ever gave me begins to hurt again, every bruise, everywhere they ever touched me, I can feel it all, all at once and I feel like ripping off my own skin. I know it's a panic attack but I can't stop it and I can't even call for Drew or Adam. The pain, real or not, that I'm feeling quickly becomes overwhelming and I vomit in the toilet.

"Clare?" Owen says knocking on the door softly. I can't answer, can't even move to open the door but Owen knows how to pick locks and he does so. He closes the door behind him as I wipe my mouth and sit back against the tub trying very hard just to breathe. Owen fills one of the little paper cups by the sink with water and hands it to me. "They aren't here, they can't get to you, not while I'm around," Owen assures me putting his arm around me and holding me close as I finish the water.

"I want to lie down," I barely manage to tell him, I'm holding onto him very tightly and my heart is pounding.

"Ok you want to be down here with everyone or upstairs in Drew or Adam's room?" Owen asks as he picks me up.

"Adam's r…no," I shake my head remembering that Eli was in there this morning, "Drew's," I request.

"Drew I'm taking her to lay down in your room," Owen announces as he walks out of the washroom with me in his arms.

"Okay," Drew says giving me a close look, "You need me Clare?" He asks recognizing the signs of a panic attack.

I consider saying no since I don't want to bother him and I have Owen, but this panic attack isn't subsiding and I would like it to go away. Drew and Adam are the best at it so I nod, I see Drew get up and so does Adam, they follow us up to Drew's room and Adam closes the door. Owen puts me on the bed in his lap, the Torres brothers sit on either side of us.

"Look at me Clare, you're safe they aren't here," Drew says taking my hand as Owen holds me tight.

"You're okay we have you, deep breaths," Adam says in a calm voice, only I can't seem to take another deep breath.

I close my eyes feeling suddenly like I'm being whipped again, I flinch, shutting my eyes tight and whimpering again. It's like being trapped in a waking nightmare, I know they aren't here that I'm not being whipped, I know that Owen is holding me but I feel it all and it feels real.

"No don't close your eyes, focus on us, you're with people that love you, no one is going to hurt you," Drew says in a soothing voice.

"Deep breaths Clare look at us and take deep breaths," Adam instructs.

I nod to indicate that I'm trying but I can't seem to take a deep breath, all I can feel is pain and it's paralyzing me. Drew and Adam squeeze my hands, Owen is already holding me tight, he tries to kiss me and I flinch because all I can feel is the pain the Terror Twins caused. My abject terror mixes with frustration and embarrassment that I'm having this panic attack and it makes it all worse. I can't breathe or calm myself down and I can't tell them what's wrong. I'm trying to speak but all I can do is grip Drew and Adam tighter while tears begin rolling down my cheeks.

"Clare it's okay just look in my eyes, you're not alone. We're here with you and they can't get to you. Where are you Clare?" Drew asks, I bite my lip and nod but I can't get a word out. "Owen take a deep breath so she can feel it," Drew instructs and Owen does so. I feel Owen breathing deep behind me, his chest inflating and his slow exhale against my back has a calming effect on me and I calm down a little. "Where are you?" Drew asks after I've taken a deep breath.

"You're house," I reply and just saying the words out loud are helpful in getting me to relax.

"Good, who's with you?" Drew questions.

I take another deep breath before answering, "You, my best friend and my boyfriend," I reply and calling Owen my boyfriend brings a small smile to my lips.

Having said the words, locking my eyes with Drew, feeling Adam here and most importantly feeling myself in Owen's embrace, my panic attack subsides. I let out another couple deep breaths and my heart rate slows down, I finally release Drew and Adam giving them a grateful smile.

"I'll get you some water, you need anything else?" Adam questions and I shake my head.

"We'll give you some time together, just scream if you need us," Drew remarks with a grin.

I smile leaning forward to kiss his cheek; he leaves the room just as Adam comes in the room. Adam hands me a bottle of water, I kiss his cheek and he leaves the room closing the door behind him.

"Are you sure you still want to go out with me?" I inquire, lying on my side facing Owen and pulling him to lay down with me.

"You had a panic attack, no big deal; nothing is going to change how I feel about you Clare. I know what you've been through, I know you're scared, I know we need to go slow but I'm here. I'm here and I'm not leaving and no panic attack, or freak out, crazy ex or obsessed stalkers are going to make me want anything less than you," Owen tells me and I smile widely and ecstatically.

"You're pretty terrific Owen Milligan," I grin.

"Yeah well I am perfection," he says with a cocky grin.

I giggle and place my hand at the back of his neck to join our lips. My lips remain closed for a moment and then they begin to part, Owen's tongue slips between my lips. I grip the back of his hair, pulling at it and his hands start to rove over my body. I start to get anxious that he's going to want to go farther than I can go but he doesn't, after a couple minutes his hands become still and he takes his lips from mine.

"How do you feel?" He asks.

"Better," I smile, snuggling a little closer to him.

He takes one of my hands in his, my other hand is resting on his chest and I'm looking up at him smiling happily. "What happened in the washroom?" He asks and now I look down.

I bite my lip, fingering his blue cotton shirt in my fingers, "I saw Reese's face in the mirror. I told myself he wasn't there and it worked but then…I don't know everything came back all at once. Every scar they ever gave me, every way they ever touched me, I could feel it all. Like I was being whipped, raped and everything at once and it just became overwhelming. That's when I threw up," I admit.

I feel Owen smoothing my hair then he kisses my forehead, "I'm sorry you went through all that Beautiful, I'm sorry it's still haunting you but I'm here. As long as it takes I'm here and nothing is going to change that."

"Owen what if they hurt you? What if they hurt you to get to me? What about Tris? Or…"

He cuts me off with a kiss before I can ramble on any farther, "I will do everything I can from letting anyone get hurt, so will Drew, Adam, Dallas and everyone else in that basement."

I smile and join my lips with his again, we make out for a while, not sure how long as I lost track of time but I sure do feel good afterward. When our lips finally do part my lips are sort of sore, the way your muscles get sore after a lot of exercise, it's a good sore.

"I think I'm ready to go back downstairs now," I tell him and he grins sitting up.

He pulls me up with him and then laughs a little, "You have sex hair and we didn't even have sex," he grins running his hair through my curls to tame it.

"We were making out pretty hard though," I counter.

"Yes we were," he smiles.

We stand up and leave Drew's room, when we get down to the kitchen Audra says Glen, my Dad, Owen's Mom, Maya's Dad and Luke's Mom are all on their way over with food and we're having a potluck for dinner. I smile and Owen makes sounds like a hungry caveman making me giggle. Everybody smiles or looks relived when I come downstairs with a smile on my face. Nobody asks about the panic attack and I don't talk about it. The adults arrive and we're called up for dinner, Dad hugs me and Glen does too, my mom of course isn't here. Owen tells his mom that we're dating; she smiles big and gives me a tight hug. Glen says he spoke to Jake and they all were worried about me but Glen assured them everyone was doing everything to ensure my safety. Omar comes home and Officer Turner shows up just as we're getting all the food out.

With so many people here a lot of them go out to the back patio to eat but not me. I know everyone is here and the Terror Twins wouldn't dare try anything with this amount of people, including an OPP officer still in uniform, but it doesn't matter my paranoia is outweighing my logic currently. So I eat in the basement between Owen and Adam; Bianca, Drew, Becky, Jenna and K.C. also eat in the basement but most everyone else is outside. Most of the adults leave after dinner; my Dad and Officer Turner stay a while. Owen's mom takes Maya and the other niners home and Luke's Mom takes Luke and Becky home. Normally there would be an Ice Hounds game tonight but it's a bye week so there is no game tonight which means Owen doesn't have to leave my side and I'm happy about that because I don't think I'd let him go if he did.

Anyone that isn't staying the night has left by eleven and the rest of us stay up late watching movies. It's nearly two by the time we decide we're ready for bed. I brush my teeth in the washroom but I don't change into my pajamas. I sit on the bed fully clothed while I wait for Owen to come out of the washroom. Everyone but the two of us are sleeping in the main part of the basement, Owen and I are taking Dallas' bed again, there isn't a door so there isn't a ton of privacy but there is a curtain. Owen gets out of the washroom and looks at me cocking his head and furrowing his brow a little at the fact that I'm still dressed I'm sure.

"I want to try something," I tell him standing up.

"Okay," he says obviously confused.

I reach behind him and close the curtain, it's a black out curtain so I know the light that's on in here won't be casting silhouettes for the others to watch.

"I'm going to change with you in here because I trust you and after the cabin I just haven't been able to be vulnerable like that. Not even Eli before he cheated, when we did have sex that one last time we were mostly dressed, I just couldn't take the feel of his skin against mine," I admit.

"You want me to turn around or something?" Owen offers.

"No I want you to start changing for bed too, boxers like you always sleep," I instruct.

Owen's still a little confused but he starts changing and I change into the blue nightie that mom brought me. We're facing each other though and I watch Owen as he gets undressed and he watches me. I actually feel better with him watching me from the front because he can't see all the scaring on my back. He sort of stops all together when I take off my bra and I'm now topless, I bite my lip a little nervously when I see him watching me so intently but that's it. I'm not worried he's going to do anything, not afraid that he's going to lunge at me and I don't feel like I'm on display. Once my nightie is on Owen starts getting undressed again, as I am now undressed I simply stand there and watch him. He grins when he sees me watching him but doesn't say anything, he gets down to his boxers and tosses his dirty clothes in the corner. Walking over to him I loop my arms around his neck laying hold of his lips for a soft but ardent kiss. His hands go to my waist and he kisses back but lets me take the lead, I am in complete control and I know it.

"I only feel you," I smile when I pull away from the kiss. He gives me a slightly confused look as I lead him to the bed. I pull down the covers, turn off the light and lie down pulling him to lay down with me. He lies on his side facing me, his arms around me and I begin lightly dragging my finger over chest while I explain. "When Reese and Fitz started sneaking in that weekend I began to feel them when I was with Eli, when just about anyone was with me really. Even after you all found out that they had been sneaking in and were with me, when you were keeping them away, I felt the Terror Twins more than I felt Eli. I didn't want to, I tried to convince myself that I wasn't but I was. Then after the cabin it was harder to feel Eli, even the slightest touch from Eli or anyone could send me back to the cabin. I'd tell myself it was Eli and sometimes I'd feel him but it was so hard, even when I did feel Eli there was something…unsafe about it. But when you hold me, touch me, kiss me I only feel you and I feel safe, protected and…loved."

"That's because I'm in love with you," he says and I can hear the smile on his lips.

"I'm in love with you too," I grin and kiss him softly. I fall asleep in his arms and it's nice to feel just him and not feel phantoms of Reese or Fitz for once.

…"Hello Clare, I told you that you'd be back in our arms," Reese says with a devilish smile. "NO! Stay away! OWEN!" I scream but it does no good, my voice echoes in the darkness. "Where's Owen? What did you do with him?" I question desperately. "We took care of him, no one can save you this time," Fitz laughs manically. "You monsters let me go!" I try to run but Reese gets out a giant bullwhip and whips me with all his strength. I hear bones cracking and I fall to the ground. "You can run but you can't hide, we're always watching Clare remember?" Reese says in a malevolent tone. He steps forward holding a red rose like the kind they always give me. Then that one rose floats out of his hand and becomes a chain of them, they surround me, restraining my ankles and wrists, twisting around my body, the thorns cut my skin and I start to bleed. My crimson blood swirls into the red petals and melts into them. They cut away my clothes and now I'm naked, suspended by the red rose chains, the thorns cutting into my flesh. "Now," Reese says as I begin to cry, my tears dropping on the rose restraints, "how shall we violate you first?" In his hands appears a number of horrifying implements, some meant for pain others for pleasure but in their hands they are all meant for my pain and their pleasure at my pain. I scream as loud as I can but my scream disappears into darkness and fades against the Terror Twins sadistic laugh…

"AAAAAGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" I sit bolt upright breathing hard and labored, crying furiously and fighting against the images in my dream still. At least until Owen puts his arms around me and I collapse against him clinging tightly.

(OWEN)

I feel Clare thrashing in my arms, and sobbing. I sit up and shake her gently but she's still caught in the dream.

"Clare," I say softly but she doesn't wake up.

Before I can do anything else she jolts up and releases a blood curdling, ear splitting scream! She's crying almost hysterically and I wrap my arms around her. She just breaks down in my arms and clings to me as tightly as she can. Everyone runs back to us, panicked and talking at once.

"What is it?"

"What's going on?"

"Are they here?"

"Call the cops?"

"Is she hurt?"

"What happened?"

"Did they get in?"

"No she had a nightmare," I tell everyone loud enough that they all shut up, but in a calm voice so that I don't alarm Clare any more than she is.

"Fuck she can scream loud, I'm surprised you're not deaf," Dallas remarks and I hear someone hit him upside the head just as the basement door opens.

"You kids okay?" Omar yawns.

"Clare has a nightmare Dad," Drew tells him.

"Get back to sleep then," Omar says and closes the door again.

"You're safe Clare, they aren't here, they can't get in, they can't get you," Adam assures her putting a hand on her arm and I feel her nod against my chest.

"Owen will protect you Clare, get back to sleep, if they do try and get in they have to get through all of us first," Bianca tells her.

Slowly the others go back out to the main part of the basement and one of them closes the curtain behind them all. I just hold her tight and rub her back, I can feel some of the scarring and my heart aches at what she went through. After a few minutes her tears start to slow, her body stops shaking so violently and her breathing becomes easier. I start to lie down again and she comes with me since my arms are still around her.

"You want to talk about it?" I ask her after another few minutes.

"It was the same as it always is, they kidnap me again. They said they took care of you, it sounded like they killed you," she tells me and I hold her a little tighter kissing the top of her head.

"There is no way in hell those two can kill me and keep me from you," I assert and feel her take a deep shuddering breath.

"I tried to run and Reese whipped me, then he told me that I can't hide because they're always watching. He was coming toward me with one of those red roses they always use, I think I officially hate red roses," she huffs and I kiss her head again, can't blame her for hating red roses after everything she's been through with them. "Anyway the rose in the dream suddenly became a whole chain, like a real chain, it was restraining me, wrapping around my body, wrists and ankles. The thorns were cutting me and I was bleeding, my blood was mixing with the petals and then Reese asked how they should violate me first. He was holding all the things, like vibrators and whips, nipple clamps, all manner of things meant to cause me pain. I screamed in the dream and that's when I woke up screaming."

"I will die before I let them get their hands on you again," I promise her and she nods but I'm not sure she entirely believes me.

Whether she believes me or not she does eventually get back to sleep. When she's asleep I fall asleep and we're all woken up by the doorbell early the next morning. All of us let out a collective groan because it's not even nine and no one got much sleep last night.

"Who the fuck is here so early?" Bianca whines.

"No one for us, they would have knocked on the basement door," Adam says.

We hear muffled talking and deep voices upstairs but can't make out the words.

"It's probably one of our parents bringing food or more clothes," Dave yawns.

We start to fall asleep again but then we hear the door from the basement to the kitchen opening. "Kids get dressed and come upstairs," Audra calls.

We all groan again but we all get up and start getting dressed, no one bothers to do much of anything besides get dressed because we all intend on going back to bed. Takes about twenty minutes but we finally all make it upstairs, I walk up with my arm around Clare. Audra and Omar are in the kitchen with a man in a suit.

"Clare this is Agent Bell with CSIS," Omar tells us, Clare nods and holds my hand.

"I just came by to let you know that you can relax. We have verified reports that all four of the escaped convicts were spotted in New York last night and Pennsylvania this morning, they're moving south. We found correspondence from one of the boys to an uncle in Puerto Rico, another has family in Louisiana and we believe they are headed for one of these two locations. We're coordinating with the FBI to capture them but you can breathe easy they're out of the area," Agent Bell tells us and I feel Clare relax a little.

"All of them? You're sure that Reese and Fitz are gone?" Clare asks her voice wavering slightly but her tone hopeful.

"We're sure; we've had dozens of calls into the tip lines all in Buffalo and Harrisburg. We'll be in touch as we know more and of course if it looks like they're headed back this way but you're safe now Miss Edwards," Agent Bell says.

Clare smiles, gripping me but I see the relief on her face. "They're gone," she whispers softly like she almost can't believe it.

"I'll make breakfast, a big one to celebrate," Audra says.

"I'm going to hop in a shower," Clare tells me.

"You gonna be okay?" I ask her.

"Yeah I will," she nods.

She kisses me softly and goes up to the brother's washroom to shower, the rest of us go downstairs to finish getting ready for the day since none of us are going to bed now. Jenna takes a shower on the first floor and Dave takes one down here, while I pull Drew, Adam and Bianca outside with me.

"Now that they're gone and she can relax a little I want to actually take her on a date but I'm not sure what to do," I tell the three of them.

"What do you mean?" Bianca asks.

"Well they're gone but she's not going to just go back to normal right away so a normal date like dinner and movie is definitely out. I'm pretty sure she's still going to want to sleep here for a while and she's still going to be on edge. I also don't want her to think I just want to get her into bed. So I need something where she'll feel safe but that's also romantic. Something where we can be alone but she doesn't think it's leading to anything other than me wanting to give her a nice night," I tell them and we all start thinking about the perfect date.

(REESE)

"Those spoofed phone calls worked, check it out," Ricky says tossing me a paper his cousin brought us this morning.

SEARCH FOR ESCAPED TEENS TAKEN TO THE STATES reads the headline on the front page. The article goes on to say that there was calls into the tip line and confirmed reports. Of course it's all bogus we haven't moved from the abandoned factory.

"I told you, now they're looking for us with the FBI and they'll be so busy chasing their tails with more false tips we give them," I grin.

"When do we get to take Clare?" Fitz whines.

"Patience Fitzy boy, we have to let Clare and all her guard dogs think she's safe. We have to lay low a few more days and keep the CSIS and the FBI chasing us south. They'll think we're headed to various family in the south and they'll stop every punk teenager that looks anything like us but they'll never find us. We've got eyes on Clare, that cousin of yours Ricky has been a great spy and as soon as Clare is lulled into believing she's safe then we strike," I grin.

I toss the paper and sit back eating cookies for breakfast while I think of all the wonderful things I'm going to do to her when she's with us again, where she belongs.

You all didn't really think I'd make it that easy did you? You should know me better than that by now. Update on Thursday April 3rd starting with Clare and Owen's date and including Monday at school where Eli finds out the two are dating!