A/N: Chapter four! I finally got my ass in gear. I will not be updating very regularly in the next weeks (maybe months) because of summer reading assignments, work, flesh-eating cacti, and the start of school. I apologize in advance. This will be a SHORT chapter! Sorry!
Thank Fleeting Rebelion once again for putting up with my pestering! Trapezoid of applause everyone! So far, she has not let me down.
Disclaimer: I have no ownership of FMA sadly.
This chapter is Envy's POV, and will be focused on Ed and Envy completely. Metaphorical cookies will be given to those who catch Homestuck references I scattered in there. Some loose ends will be tied up next chapter, but I'll leave some secrets for later, so do not fret! On to the chapter, Hoo hoo! Hee Hee!
Prove Me Wrong
Chapter Four:
Spitfire O' Mine
I finally made it out of fucked up excuse of a second period class. That crazy-ass teacher Mr. Chopper threatened to chop me into bits for dozing off during a rant on how amazing the sound of dying screams were.
I am not about to go into any of that tomfoolery….
I made my way down the long, narrow hall toward the cafeteria for morning break. I then felt a sudden presence behind me (a short presence at that), making the hairs on the back of my neck stand at attention.
"Hey," breathed Edward. I could feel his warm breath caress the bare skin of my exposed neck and ear. He was extremely close, too. In fact, I could tell he smelt faintly of cinnamon and peaches. It was a warm, welcoming smell that washed out my senses and enveloped me. I quickly composed myself, turned around to face him, and purged those odd thoughts from my mind.
"Hey, yourself, Squirt. How's the weather down there?" I said, feeling a little sassy. I get in those weird, sass-mouthing moods a lot. As of late, I have decided that the old, bitchy Envy is dead and gone, and I will be that charismatic, sarcastic, out-there kind of guy I've always wanted to be (not). So far, I like this New Me (although I am still an asshole).
He spluttered indignantly at that and he flushed a beautiful shade of pink.
"I am not short you fuckass!" he said, bristling at my jab at his underwhelming height. "Fuck you, Palm Tree," he added after a moment of my giggling at the word 'fuckass'. I mean, seriously, who comes up with that kind of word? That's right, Shrimps do. Anyway, enough with this fuckassery.
"Ed, you seriously have a problem," I say in a solemn tone of voice. He gave me a quizzical look.
"You cannot shout at people willy-nilly because they refer to your…shrimp-like stature. Hell, I don't whine about being likened to a palm tree," I continued.
At this, his face grew red, but then turned a becoming shade of purple. He was pissed, but then suddenly, his face was returned to its original hue. Edward smirked and his golden eyes darted to the object I had been holding in my right hand. Ed, with the speed of a fucking cheetah, snatched the object and ran. Now I was pissed as hell!
I sped off after him, yelling obscenities. We passed several peeved students and non-caring teachers as we ran through the labyrinthine hallways of the school building.
"Dammit, Ed, give me back my damn book!" I shouted. It was an old copy of AndThen There Were None by Agatha Christie. The Shrimp took one of my all-time favorite books! How dare that little Jack Wagon? It was only the first day of school, and he had already made a short, psycho friend who pissed him off, yet liked him. A friend, I thought. A real friend…
I heard shouting a little ways ahead of me. Of course it was Ed, taunting me into oblivion. This is stupid.
"Give it back, Edward!" I yell venomously.
"If you want it, come and get it, Spitfire O' Mine!" he replied, a smirk playing on his lips.
"Oh, I will, Pipsqueak, I will," I say as I prepare to pounce. And yes, I really mean pounce. There is no other way to catch the sneaky bastard! I liked that nickname….alot.
I suddenly dash forward, catching the smirking Shrimp off-guard. I literally pounce and practically tackle him. We land on the floor in a jumbled heap of legs, arms, and hair. My breathing ceases for a moment when I realize that my face is a mere inch or so away from Ed's. His breathing hitches too. We gaze at each other in a moment of fuck-all cliché romance. I quickly scramble to my feet and help Ed off his ass. I then reach down and retrieve my book. Its spine is now dangling by a few threads and some pages are crumpled or ripped. I glare at Ed. I
"Ed, you are a dead Shrimp swimmin'," I say in an ominous manner, effectively scaring the shit out of Edward.
He paled and ran toward the cafeteria for break. I of course followed, intent on some form of revenge.
"Well then, Spitfire O' Mine," I said to myself. "two can play that game."
I followed him, weaving among the throngs of students. I squeezed past a group of slutty-looking girls in tube tops and way-too-short mini skirts and made it to the snack line. We could buy snacks for the morning break, thank God. I was famished. I would bide my time, and wait for the opportune moment to get back at Ed for ruining my favorite book.
I skimmed the snack choices and dismissed the baked goods immediately. Lust made way to freakin' many cakes and cookies. I now hated Betty Crocker with the passion of a thousand revving chainsaws.
I bought a bottle of water and a bag of Doritos ad made my way to the table where Ed was seated, alone. He seemed to be looking for someone…someone to fear. Yep, that's me.
"Hey, Edo, mind if I sit here?" I say sitting beside him. I tore open the Doritos and munched away, a little violently, I should say. If anyone could make eating Doritos look like a death threat, it was me. I finished those off quickly and guzzled my water, draining it. That hit the spot.
Edward grinned over at me cautiously when I had finished eating. Good move. "Are you mad, En?" he asks.
"hmmm, I don't kno- yes!" I say, cutting the crap and telling him like it fucking is. "You ruined my favorite book! Lust, my Mom, gave it to me on my tenth birthday, you fuckass!" I snarl, feeling angry just thinking about it. I used that word...Oh, why the hell not? Fuckass, fuckass, fuckass. I could get another copy, but that was a special edition.
I begin to seethe silently.
"I'm sorry, Envy. I really had no idea it was special to you, and I shouldn't have acted like that, but it is only a book, you can get another he said. He almost calmed me down, but then he said that to me. It was a special edition, dammit! It was my metaphorical child! And he had ripped its backbone out with his teeth.
"Pffft, whatever. I'll do that," I snap.
He sighs and then turns, facing two approaching figures, who appear to be females.
"Hey, Winry! Oy, over here!" Ed yells, waving at the duo heading toward us. I am still sulking.
I will get him back. Whether it is tossing him down two sets of stairs, or making him drink insane amounts of Faygo, I will have order in the fucking court.