4

Claire had trouble concentrating through all of her classes that morning. She was visibly relieved when lunch rolled around. As she entered the cafeteria with two of her posse, she surveyed the large room for members of the breakfast club. Brian was sat at his usual table with an assortment of math and science geeks along with various lesser popular cliques. She spied Allison and Andy making goo – eyes at each other. No sign of John Bender but it was still early. Thinking back, she couldn't remember ever seeing him in the cafeteria but she hadn't been looking, no scratch that, she had been looking but not really seeing. Before Saturday, she had been walking around in a half – daze. She had let things like clothes; "friends" and boys define her entire existence. She had been in a state of numb triviality to prevent her parents or anyone else for that matter from ever hurting her ever again. John Bender had broken through it, he had reawakened her and try as she might, she couldn't go back to how she was before.

Melanie and Stephanie were discussing what to wear to the next dance; it was still a month away. Melanie was a strawberry blonde with an ear for gossip; Stephanie was tanned with dark hair and was head cheerleader despite being a sophomore. Out of the small group, Claire of course ranked the highest; she ranked the highest out of all of them in fact, she was Queen Bee of Shermer High.

They were promptly joined by the rest of the group, followed soon after by the Jocks. Somebody made a snide comment and all eyes turned toward where Andy was sitting a few tables down.

"Yeah, what's up with him?"

"Who is she? I haven't seen her before."

"What is he, desperate or something?" Or something Claire thought.

Shelly Birch, Claire's nemesis for the title of Prom Queen and top dog (she thought) and all around prize bitch of Shermer High, leaned forward.

"I heard that he knocked her up at some frat party, two weeks ago." She brushed her light blonde hair back and smirked nastily. Not at all like John's, Claire thought smugly.

"He was drunk and now he feels sorry for her." Claire couldn't stand it any longer.

"Bullshit! You're so full of crap, Shelly." The entire table turned their eyes on her. Shelly's mouth hung open.

"Excuse me?"

"What do you know about it? He could just prefer her to air headed bimbos like you." The table was silent.

"What's your problem?"

"My problem is that you are making up rumors about Allison just because she's with the guy you've been trying to get your claws into since the seventh grade."

"Wait, you know her name?"

"Yeah and you know what, I've had enough of this, I'm done." She disposed of her uneaten lunch, her heart racing. As she walked away she heard numerous responses to her outburst.

"What's wrong with Claire?"

"She's acting so weird."

"Is she high?" They went on and on. She stormed out of the cafeteria with her head but with a sinking heart. If this was how they reacted to Allison, what would they think of Bender? That is, if they would ever let her back into the fold after her unexpected rant. She shook her head; she didn't care what they thought. But she did, so much, too much. She moved to lean against the closest obliging wall. Slowly, she slid down the wall, sitting on the floor and closing her eyes. She cradled her stomach; the butterflies had evolved into twice their size. She was terrified that she had jumped off a cliff to which there was no return, but plunging all the way down she felt interestingly exhilarated, free. So absorbed in her own thoughts, she jumped when the double cafeteria doors opened slowly. She prepared herself for the onslaught, but instead a concerned blonde head popped around them. Brian smiled nervously and laughed awkwardly.

"Oh, um I wasn't sure if you'd be here, um uh. I was just thinking, I mean wondering, are you like alright." She was touched, she noticed that none of her 'friends' had extended her the same courtesy. For a moment she couldn't think of what to say. Brian was beginning to blush, starting with the tips of his ears. "I saw you and thought, well…"

"Thank you, Brian it means a lot." He let out a sigh of relief while blushing beetroot red and smiling shyly. "Yeah, I'm fine… come here." She patted the ground beside her. Brian hesitated then complied.

"You, know, I'm proud of you Claire." Brian smiled, his confidence growing. She gave him a wry smile.

"You thought, I wouldn't come through."

"No, no, well yes yes, sorry."

"Its fine, I mean I did say I would ignore you all."

"What made you change your mind?"

"Well, I guess being called a conceited bitch kind of made me think." The blush that had been receding now came back full force.

"Sorry."

"Forget it, I will." They sat for a few minutes of comfortable silence. Out of the corner of her eye, Claire watched as Brian bit his lip, clearly trying to come up with the confidence to ask her something. For a moment she considered him, he was cute but only in a puppy dog sense. She thought that he might be attractive when he filled out a bit, but right now everything about him said awkward, lanky, geeky adolescent.

"Claire, I need your help." She turned her head to face him.

"Oh? With that?"

"Well with um apparel issues, that is to say, I have a problem, um … clothes." He plucked at his pullover. She couldn't help letting out a small giggle.

"I thought you'd never ask." He looked sheepish, something that he was unfailingly good at. Well, do you have any of your own money?" An idea cropping up.

"Well, yeah I mean I can get some." Brian frowned in confusion.

"Good, are you free Thursday?"

"Well. I have math club…" She just stared at him. "But I can get out of it. Why?" He said quickly.

"We are going shopping."

"Oh." He looked apprehensive.

"Don't worry, you'll be fine." She was excited; it looked like she had a new project.

Suddenly, the bell sounded off making them both jump. Brian jumped up.

"I have to go to class." He scooted off while Claire stood up slowly in a more dignified style. People began spilling through the cafeteria doors. She pushed through them indifferently towards her locker, refusing to look anyone in the eye. She tuned out everything but the combination of her locker door. 23 left to 41 right then back to 15, she looked into the mirror in the door and systematically checked her make – up before re – applying a layer of pink lipstick. She wiped it off, it didn't look right. Searching in her make – up bag, after a few minutes of rummaging she found what she was looking for, a rich chocolate brown. She applied a coat of lipstick them blotted it slightly. There, that was much better. So focused on one task, it took a while to realise that someone had said her name a number of times. She turned suddenly, it was Sally, a pretty, shy member of the group, recruited solely for the fact that she was new, a novelty who attracted even more attention to the group. As if they needed any more. She had a heart –shaped face, shoulder - length dark red hair and deep soulful brown eyes which all contributed to give her that girl next door look. She was beautiful but she was very pretty.

"Um, I was wondering if you were ok after that." She pointed over her shoulder to the cafeteria.

"Sure, I'm fine." Claire was suspicious, had she been sent to find out the truth behind her little outburst. She turned back to her locker dismissively.

"So you feel the same way huh?" Claire turned questioningly. She nodded towards the cafeteria. "Them in there, those shallow, narcissistic creeps." Claire raised an eyebrow, a smile tugging at the corners. It looked like there was more to this girl than she thought. Sally blushed as if she had said too much, then bit her lip worriedly.

"Yeah I suppose I do." Sally looked visibly relieved, a smile appearing. "If you felt that way, why did you stay with them?"

"Why did you? Acceptance, popularity. Plus I didn't really know anybody else. It's not like you can just find another clique. It doesn't take long to be put in one of their little boxes."

"What were you at your last school?" Claire asked.

"I was a loner actually, I didn't have any friends, well I did have a few but they moved away."

"Oh, this must have been weird for you then." She inclined her head.

"Yeah, a little bit. I don't really like the attention."

"Any of the jocks come on to you?"

"A few but I don't know what to say. I'm not like you. I feel so awkward because …" She moved closer, lowering her voice. "I'm a virgin; I mean I've never even kissed a boy." Claire blushed. She

"What's wrong with that? It's not so bad."

"Oh that's easy for you to say."

"No I mean, I'm a virgin too." After admitting it to John Bender, it didn't feel so bad to say anymore. Sally was clearly sceptic. "Is it such a huge shock? I mean just because I'm popular doesn't automatically make me a big slut."

"I'm sorry. But I take it you have kissed a boy though."

"Well of course." For the first time a few days ago. It occurred to her that this girl might not even know who John Bender was. Huh she was the only one.

John Bender was feeling elated for no apparent reason, he would have whistled but that would be completely against his image not to mention embarrassing. He had left his friends out by the bleachers smoking pot. He was off to find something else, something that gave him a natural high and she had to be around there somewhere. It was about seven minutes after the bell had gone for lunch ending. The hallways were empty. He turned a corner and there she was like some dumb movie that his mother liked to watch when his father had gone out with 'the lads'. She was rummaging around in her locker, and swearing to herself under her breath. She suddenly dropped the pile of shit she was holding. Following the crap movie theme, this was his cue to come in and help pick up her books. Yeah like fuck. He was having far too good a time watching her trying to bend over in a miniskirt without falling over. Aww fuck it, he walked over and scooped up the pile of books off the floor in one swift and if he did say so himself, very skillful maneuver before handing them back to her.

"Um thank you" She pushed the hair out of her eyes and took them, returning to a comfortable upright position. "Oh hi John." She said in a high pitched voice when she realised who had helped her. A blush was quickly spreading across her face. God he loved that, it made him feel all warm and fuzzy. Enough with being polite and awkward, he just went for it and kissed her. Properly this time, he pushed her back against the lockers. Hey, he had to break the tension somehow. She didn't push him away, and that was a good sign. In fact she responded instantly, dropping her books for the second time. They poured all that sexual tension and frustration into that kiss. When they came up for air, they were both having trouble breathing normally. "Wow." She whispered.

"No kidding." He leaned against her, breathing in the smell of her hair and her body. He really didn't want to go to class right then. "Let's get out of here."

"Ok." She smiled