Chapter 4

The wind coming off of the lake was cold and whipped around them as they sped down the country road. Carol held tight around him, fingers digging into his sides, thighs squeezing around him. The growl of the engine shook the bike, creating sensations she knew she shouldn't be feeling on a motorcycle, but she couldn't help her body's response to it.

Daryl took a wide curve, and Carol held on a little tighter. He couldn't help the way his body responded to her hands gripping his sides. Once in a while, her hand would brush over his thigh when it slipped, and he would feel sparks shooting up and down his spine. Having her so damned close, having her thighs tight around his was like worlds colliding. Paradise and hell, all wrapped into one. The fire that forked through his veins was on the verge of raging, but thankfully, the cool breeze off the lake helped a little.

Daryl pulled into a small park on the river side, stopping in the gravel and cutting the engine. Carol recognized the place immediately. It was the place she'd crashed his bike into the swing set the one time he'd let her try to ride. That felt like a lifetime ago. It was, really. They'd still been in high school. It had been the first and last time she'd ridden that bike alone, and she'd refused to ride it again unless he was in control.

"Very funny," she laughed, as she pulled her helmet off. "I think the ground is still torn up over there."

"You weren't bad."

"I wasn't good," she laughed. There was a small dock built out over the water. Carol started for it, remembering carving her initials into the wood, making her mark, as if crashing and burning on Daryl's motorcycle hadn't made enough of a lasting memory.

When Daryl saw her heading toward the dock, he suddenly remembered, quite vividly, why he needed her to not walk over there. "Uh. Hey. You wanna get outta here?"

"Daryl, we just stopped." She turned to look over her shoulder at him. "Look, the sun's setting. It's so pretty. Let's go watch." She waved him after her, and he started to sweat.

Fuck. Stall her. Anything. Christ, find your balls and sweep her off her feet or something. Just don't let her on that dock.

"Wait. That wood's older'n we are. Ain't safe."

"Well, it looks sturdy enough." She laughed and picked up the pace. He had no choice but to follow, cringing every step of the way.

Maybe it ain't there. It's been damn near 15 years.

He wanted to think that the elements would have somehow faded the carvings in the dock, but he also knew how deeply his daddy's old hunting knife could carve into wood. Maybe she'd forget where it was. That was his best hope.

"Oh, look," she murmured, sitting down and swinging her legs over the dock. She pulled her boots and socks off and dipped her toes into the cool water. "It's just like I remember, except my knee isn't bleeding everywhere." She still had the scar from where she'd fallen from the motorcycle. It had faded over the years, but it was still there.

Daryl scanned his memories, helplessly trying to remember where she'd made the carving at, where he'd come back days later to add to it, but he couldn't. Instead, he plopped down next to her on the dock with the fleeting hope that he would cover it or that she wouldn't remember where to look. Maybe she didn't remember at all.

"Remember when I carved my initials in the dock the day I crashed and burned?"

Fuck.

"Huh…" His tongue felt like it was swelling. Was his throat closing up?

"I remember." She glanced around. "I think it was over…yeah! Over here." She scrambled over and crossed to the other side of the narrow dock.

God, I ain't never asked you for nothin', but I'm hopin' you're takin' requests right now. A lightning bolt oughta do it. Make it quick. I lived a good life.

"Daryl, look. It's still here!"

Thanks for nothin'.

"C.M." She furrowed her brows and squinted. The fading light made it difficult to see. "What's this?"

"Nothin'. Probably somebody else's carving. They're all over this dock. Surprised it ain't fallen apart yet."

"No, wait. This is…" She grabbed for her cell phone and turned on her flashlight app.

'Course she's gonna investigate.

"C.M. plus D.D." She glanced up at him. "Daryl?"

"Huh…you sure that's where you carved it?"

"Yeah, I'm positive," she replied, eyeing him as the flush filled his cheeks. Even in the fading light, she could see him blushing. "Did you do this?"

"Hell, it's been a long time. I don't…"

"Daryl?"

"Fuck, I did it, alright? Long time ago, you know?"

"Aw," she pouted. "You had a crush on me?" If Daryl's heart could have beat out of his chest and flopped around on the dock like a fish out of water in that moment, it would have. He looked at her before rubbing the back of his neck.

"Like I said," he muttered. "It was a long time ago. You know?"

Don't be such a pussy. Just tell her.

"When?"

"Carved it the night we graduated," he said quietly. "A lot's happened since then."

"Yeah," she said softly. "Wow." She smiled a little and leaned in, brushing his hair out of his eyes. "Just so you know? I liked you, too."

Holy shit.

The way she was looking at him in that moment made the 18-year-old inside of him do a happy dance, while the 43-year-old blushed like a twelve year old who'd just gotten his first kiss.

"Daryl…" She was leaning in, and he wasn't sure if she was going to kiss him or whisper something to him, but he shifted nervously, and the dock groaned beneath them. After a mighty loud crack, it shook and collapsed, leaving them to tumble right into the water. "Oh!"

"Shit," Daryl spat, groaning as the water filled his boots and soaked him straight to the skin. He stood quickly, reaching for her hand to help her stand. She coughed, wiping at her face, blinking in surprise as the cool water plastered her clothes to her skin.

"Ugh," she coughed, before looking up at Daryl and laughing as his long hair hung in his eyes in wet, dark strands. "You need a…a haircut."

"What's so damned funny," he growled, as Carol's giggles turned into silent guffaws. She clutched her sides, doubling over as they sloshed through the water and pulled themselves onto dry land.

"We're a mess," she laughed when she found her breath again.

"We best sit here a minute. We get on that bike, we're both gonna have pneumonia 'fore we get you home."

"If you wanted to get me wet, there are much better ways than this," she teased, brushing her hand over his as they collapsed into the grass together. For a moment, the air left his lungs.

"Stop," was all he could muster. But he didn't want her to stop. In fact, he very much wanted her to keep going and in the most elaborate detail possible. But she laughed and covered her face with her hands.

"I feel like a drowned rat."

"Ya look like one, too."

"Says you with the long hair," she smirked. "I can't believe you never told me."

"You never told me."

"Well, that's different."

"Why? 'Cause you're the woman?"

"No," she laughed. "I guess I was just waiting for you to make the first move. Guess we both waited too long."

"Sorry 'bout that," he muttered.

"Yeah," she murmured, biting her bottom lip. "Me too." Thunder broke the silence between them moments later, and Daryl groaned. "You didn't see that one coming, Mr. 'it's gonna rain outta nowhere in an hour or two?'" He glared at her but couldn't hold back a chuckle when she crinkled her nose and grinned at him.

"C'mon. We best get back." He stood first before helping her to her feet and shrugging off his jacket. "Wear this. It's gonna be a cold ride home."

"What about you?"

"I'm good. Ain't the first time I rode soakin' wet." Somehow, that imagine had her more turned on than she would have liked. But she slid her arms into the damp jacket and zipped it up. She groaned when she swiped her finger across the screen of her phone. "Your phone alright?"

"Yeah, I think so. It will be when it dries out."

"You ok?"

"Yeah. I'm good," she promised, sliding onto the bike behind him and wrapping her arms around her waist. Despite falling into the lake and nearly ruining her cell phone, this night was getting better and better.

...

Carol was shivering by the time Daryl pulled up outside her place. They walked up the sidewalk together, and he stood by as she unlocked the door.

"You wanna come in and get dried off?" she asked, between chattering teeth. He chuckled and shook his head.

"Nah, I better get home. Might have to pull some hours at the shop tomorrow since I'm takin' off for the wedding."

"Oh," Carol said with a nod. "Ok. Well, I had fun tonight." Daryl smirked.

"When? When ya fell in the lake or when ya had to freeze yer ass off on the ride home?"

"Both, actually," she laughed. "Besides, I wasn't cold until we got here. I was warm and toasty all pressed up against you." Daryl reached out and ran his hand over her short, damp hair. She laughed and brushed her own hand over it. Then she eyed him and went for it. "You know, as far as dates go, I haven't had this much fun in a long time."

"Date?" he choked out. "That what this was?"

"Well, we could say it's the date that we never got when we wanted it. We owed it to our teenaged selves."

"Yeah." He grinned at that and licked his lips.

That was definitely an opening. She gave you an opening. Go for it. Don't think it to death. Say somethin' but don't fuck it up."

"That mean there's a goodnight kiss?" he asked, catching her gaze, trying to read her. Her eyes went wide for a brief moment, and her breath caught in her throat. This was probably a terrible idea, but damn it, if she was ever going to know what it was like to feel his lips against hers, this was it. This was the moment.

She stepped up to him, bringing her hands to either side of his face, urging him to come down to meet her. He leaned in a little, and she pressed her lips against his in a soft, warm, inviting kiss. Her hands gently moved down to his shoulders and then up to his neck, feeling his pulse pick up beneath her fingertips.

She pulled back the moment she felt his tongue slide against her lips. She shivered, partially from the cold, partially from the sensations currently raging through her nerves and straight to her core.

"Goodnight," she whispered, eyeing him for a moment, before his lips were on hers again, and he was backing her up against the door. Oh, God, he felt so good against her. His hands were holding her face, and her hands were gently tugging at his hair, and his tongue was in her mouth, and it was everything—more—than she had ever expected.

And then reality came crashing back in the form of a clap of thunder overhead. Carol gently pushed on Daryl's chest, coming up breathless and wide-eyed, lips parted and almost swollen from his hungry kiss. She cleared her throat, and Daryl rubbed at the back of his neck.

"Sorry," he muttered. "I should…uh…I should go."

"Hey, wait," she called when he turned. "Hey, look at me." He turned to meet her gaze. "18-year-old me had a very good time tonight." Daryl blushed, and he ducked his head a little. "Are we ok?"

"Yeah," he murmured. "'Course we are."

"Go get dry. And get a haircut. You look like a swamp monster," she teased.

"Yeah? Well, who's bright idea was it to go on that dock anyway?" he shot back. She laughed then, feeling lighter than air. "Get some sleep. Talk to you tomorrow?"

"Of course." She watched him go back to his bike, hop on and take off down the street before she even made it in the door. Once inside, she stood there, leaning against the door and closing her eyes, putting her hand to her chest to feel her heart pounding there, strong and bold. She didn't know exactly what happened, but she felt a sense of peace, as if something had been settled between them, something neither of them had known or expected. Whatever happened next, she felt like she'd had some closure, though a part of her deeply regretted that neither one of them had made a move way back then when they'd both wanted each other at the same time.

But that kiss tonight. Oh, she sure felt wanted. She'd seen him kiss other woman, and she always thought he'd be a good kisser. But that kiss had exceeded any and all expectations, and she'd wanted so much more, which was why she'd had to stop him. If she hadn't, she could have easily let it get out of control, let them move past the point of no return. And she wasn't even entirely certain that was what he wanted. Did she even want it? Who was she kidding? Of course she did. But above all else, she wanted her friend and didn't want to do anything to jeopardize the close relationship they'd built. The idea of something going wrong and her losing him as a friend was far too painful to even think about.

When she slipped into a hot bath a few minutes later and rested her head against the back of the tub, she let the water sooth her and warm her and wash away the grime from the lake. But her nerves were still on edge, her blood still sizzling, her core still aching for far more than that fantastic kiss.

With a sigh, she resigned herself to taking care of her needs alone, but he was never far from her mind, and the moment his lips crashed into hers replayed on a constant loop in her mind.

...

"God, what happened to you?" Tara asked, taking off her sunglasses when Carol opened the front door. She had a blanket wrapped around her shoulders, her nose was red from sneezing and blowing, and she had dark circles under her eyes.

"I enjoyed something I should have enjoyed fifteen years ago, and I ended up falling in a lake."

"Huh?" Tara asked, stepping into Carol's house, removing a big bowl of chicken noodle soup from the tote she had slung over her arm. Carol sneezed. "I should have brought a bigger bowl."

"It's fine. Thank you, sweetie."

"Hey, anytime. You gonna be ok?"

"Oh, I've sneezed enough for ten lifetimes, but other than that, I'll survive."

"Ok, so what happened?" Tara asked, following her friend into the kitchen. "I got a weird text from Michonne saying she couldn't pick up my dress, because they need to make adjustments to the bust."

"Yeah," Carol chuckled. "They need to bring the chest in a bit. The dress looks like it was made for Pamela Anderson."

"Oh," Tara snorted, looking down at her decent B-cups. "Well, Pamela I'm not. You think it'll be done before we leave?"

"Yeah. Don't worry about it, honey. It'll be done."

"I hope so. I finally got a date, and I want to look hot."

"Oh, who's going with you?"

"Rosita."

"Rosita from your office?"

"That's the one," Tara said proudly.

"I thought she had a boyfriend. Spencer or something?"

"Oh, she did have a boyfriend, but she's single, and she's definitely ready to mingle."

"Oh…oh!"

"Yeah. Lucky for me, she also likes chicks. This chick is very happy."

"Well, good! I'm glad."

"So, Michonne also says Daryl's going to be your date?"

"No. No! We're going alone together."

"Ok…so you're going together."

"Alone…together."

"Ok, that makes no sense whatsoever." Carol grabbed a spoon and dug into the best chicken noodle soup she'd ever had. Tara had not been lying when she said that the only thing she could cook worth a damn from scratch was a kickass chicken noodle soup. "So, are you guys going to hook up, or what?"

"Tara," Carol groaned. "Look, things are…weird right now."

"Weird how?"

"Well, do you want the short version or the long one?"

"Long. And detailed, please."

"Well, it's Michonne's fault, and you can tell her I told you that." Carol pointed her spoon at her friend for emphasis. "She suggested I maybe try to start something with Daryl. She suggested flirting."

"A.K.A. what you guys always do. I mean, between all the eye fucking and the constant teasing, I'm surprised you two haven't had hot, wild animal sex on the back of his motorcycle yet." Carol glared at her. "Um, but, you continue your story."

"Anyway, I suggested we go for a ride on the bike."

"Yeah, that's always a good time."

"Well, he pulled over at this park that we haven't been to since we were, God, eighteen." She still couldn't believe it had been so long. "Once upon a time, I crashed and burned on his motorcycle when he was trying to teach me to ride. I carved my name into the dock. So, naturally, I wanted to go see if it was still there."

"And…?"

"It was there. Along with some additions made by Daryl himself. Turns out, he had a huge crush on me in high school."

"And this surprises you?"

"Well, yeah. I mean, he never said anything. I never knew…"

"And you had a raging crush on him, too?"

"Yeah," Carol chuckled.

"And that never really went away."

"Well, that's not really fair. We've grown up a lot since then. It just never happened between us. We're different people now."

"Different people who look at each other like a starving man looks at a pizza." Tara watched Carol take another bite of soup. "Ok, so what happened?"

"Well, he admitted that he liked me in high school, and I admitted that I liked him, too. And then I don't know what came over me. I wanted to kiss him, and I was just leaning in when the dock came down."

"Oh God," Tara snorted. "Talk about ruining the mood."

"It was funny. We had so much fun, Tara. And when we got back to my place, we were soaking wet, and we were playing around, and I told him it felt like the date we never got to have. And then we kissed."

"Holy shit. No way!"

"Yeah. And I pulled back and told him goodnight, and then he kissed me again, and oh God, Tara, it was so good. It was…it just felt so right. And all of these feelings just came flooding back. They've been here, all along, simmering under the surface, but hand to God, Tara, I wanted to rip his clothes off right then and there."

"I need a cigarette," Tara murmured fanning herself.

"But I stopped things. I just…I had to."

"Why?" Tara groaned. "You were so close! You haven't had good sex in so long. All that pent up sexual tension needs to go somewhere." Carol stared at her in exasperation, but then her shoulders slumped.

"I don't know where this leaves us. I guess we kind of played it off as a one-off thing, something we should have done a long time ago when we were both in that place."

"So, what was the kiss for you? A one-off, or do you want more?" Carol looked at her helplessly before covering her face with her hands. "Alright, then what about him? Did it feel like he wanted more?"

"I don't know. I really don't…he said it was a long time ago, and it was. And I don't know how he feels about me now. You and Michonne are always going on about how you see something here, but I don't know if I see it or not. I want to see it. I want to believe that there could be something here, but I don't want to ruin everything we've built. He's my best friend."

"Hey, I get it," Tara said quietly. "I do. But you also love the shit out of this guy, and he pretty much adores you."

"Look, maybe this was it. Maybe this was the closure I needed. Maybe I can finally make peace with what never happened and move on."

"Why the hell would you do that? Why didn't you stop him from leaving? Are you kidding me? You guys are so fucking clueless."

"Thanks, Tara," Carol scowled.

"Do me a favor."

"What's that?"

"Call him. Just…call him and say hi."

"What's that going to do?"

"He needs to know that you're not freaked out. And you need to know that you guys are ok. And then you can casually hint that you'd like to do something."

"Do what?"

"I don't know. Go for coffee, take a walk, have sex in a public bathroom."

"You're warped."

"And you love me for it," Tara replied, batting her eyelashes. Carol couldn't help but laugh. Tara always knew how to simplify things and lighten the mood. Those were just two of the many qualities Carol loved about her. "Ok, how about this?"

"I'm listening."

"Take a breather. Don't stress it. Just hang out and do what you guys do. Watch movies, drink, whatever else comes to mind. It'll be just like normal. And then when you're on the yacht…"

"You mean on the big boat with no chance for him to escape? No, Tara. I'm not going to corner him. Look, whatever happens, I still have my best friend, and that's all I can ask for." She shrugged and took another spoonful of soup. Tara sighed and shook her head.

"You two are ridiculous."

"Maybe," Carol chuckled.

"All I can say is that I can only hope one day somebody looks at me like Daryl looks at you. That's love. You might not know it. You might not see it. But it's love, and nothing's going to convince me otherwise."