Chapter 3

Three months later

Thrawn lay unmoving on his narrow bunk, staring bleakly at the blank grey ceiling. Bone weary and filled with heartache, he wished he could close his eyes and sleep. He knew what awaited him in his dreams, though; for the last two weeks, every time sleep found him, he had been forced to watch helplessly as Laechar ships converged on a single clawcraft. Every time, he heard Chiara call his name, call to him for help, but he was paralyzed, unable to reach her. Every time, he woke trembling just as her clawcraft was blown into shrapnel.

A noise outside his tiny cell drew his attention. "I'm sorry, but I was ordered that no one was to see him-" his guard was saying.

"And I am countermanding that order, Ensign," a prim voice snapped. "Now open this door or I will be forced to write you up for insubordination!"

"Y-yes, General," the young guard stammered, fumbling at the lock.

Thrawn pushed himself upright just in time to see the door slide open and Anisi stepped through. She turned back to the guard who was hovering just outside the door, his hand lingering near his charric in case Thrawn decided to make a break for it. "You can go; he isn't going to attack me. I'll call for you when I am finished."

The Ensign glanced uncertainly at Thrawn, then decided that he had better follow his orders. The door shut with a hiss and Thrawn heard the soft snick of the lock engaging. Anisi locked eyes with him, a look of pinched concern on her delicate features.

"General," Thrawn said with a curt nod, breaking the silence.

"Don't 'General' me, Thrawn," Anisi chastised gently, dropping down on the bunk beside him. "We've known each other too long for that." She put one hand on his arm. "I'm so sorry about Chiara. I came as soon as I could, but it took a while to come up with a reason that was good enough to come back to Csilla."

Thrawn's throat constricted painfully at the mention of her name. "Thank you, Anisi," he choked out, covering her slender, blue-skinned hand with his own.

"Being here is the least I can do. I don't know if I will be able to stay for the entire trial, but I will try. I know Daithi is trying to make it back, as well," she told him. "Shixan and Thimas would come if they could, but they are too involved in their posts to be able to come home, at this point. Fisix... well, it's probably just as well that he isn't here. He'd cause more ruckus than he's worth."

Thrawn nodded mutely, grateful for their support.

"I heard that you were planning on defending yourself," she continued after a moment of silence. "Rather than allowing someone more experienced in these matters to represent you."

"I do," he said simply. "I've defended myself on the last two trials, as well."

"And what exactly did you have planned for your defense?"

"That Chiara's death should have been all that was needed to justify my attack. That she had been among us for long enough and done enough that she should have been granted the same status and consideration as any other warrior," Thrawn told her.

"You know you can never win that argument, Thrawn, "Anisi said gently. "I may agree with you, but the Ruling Families are too set in their ways and opinions to be swayed on that. You need to find a better defense."

"It is the only one I have and the only one that matters," he responded with a half-hearted shrug.

Anisi shook her head at him, frown lines creasing her smooth brow. "Thrawn, you know what is going to happen if you are found guilty of violating military doctrine and convicted of an immoral attack against the Laechar. They will exile you to some remote world for the rest of your days. You can't really want that. It's exactly what is going to happen if you try to use that as your defense, though."

"What does it matter, now?" he asked dully, staring at the far wall.

Anisi gripped his shoulders and shook him hard enough to make his teeth rattle. "Snap out of it, Thrawn," she bit out. "I know you miss her. But do you really think this is what she would have wanted? She spent her life serving others. Would she simply sit back and let you throw your life and your skill away so that you can no longer serve our people if she were here? I understand why you attacked the Laehcar and I have no qualms with you for that. But you can't just sit back and let Command ship you off to some world where you will be of no help to anyone at all. Our people need you. You cannot turn your back on them, now."

That finally was enough to garner a reaction from him. "How dare you tell me what I can and cannot do," he snapped, his eyes blazing with sudden fire as he shrugged her hands from his shoulders. "I offered our people my life in service alongside Chiara. They are the ones who threw it away, not me. They had no justification to deny me the right to avenge her death, a right they would have granted to any other warrior who had been paired with a Chiss. So don't lecture me about turning my back on our people; they turned their backs on me."

"So you intend to simply walk away, then? Is that what Chiara would have done? How many times did she continue to serve our people and put her life at risk, despite the persecution she faced time and time again because she was an outsider?"

"Don't presume to lecture me, Anisi. She's gone." His voice broke on the word. "What she would have wanted or done hardly matters, now."

Anisi stared at him in silence, her expression unreadable. Finally, she rose and rapped sharply on the door of the cell, summoning his guard. She turned back to Thrawn just as the door opened. "One more thing, Thrawn. What she would have wanted should still matter to you, if you loved her. If you can't see past your own grief to honor what you know would have been her final wish, then you didn't deserve her."

The words hit him like a slap in the face. He tried to find a retort, but Anisi spun on her heel and stalked out of his cell. Thrawn stared at the door for several moments, knowing in his heart that she was right. He could almost see Chiara, standing with hands planted on her slender hips, scolding him heatedly. Thrawn heaved a sigh and got up to retrieve his datapad. He settled back into the bunk and started looking for a better defense.