Yay chapter 4! I want to thank everyone who has favorited this story or followed this story and a big thank you to the people who have reviewed. I didn't really think people liked this story much but in the past couple of days I've gotten some really nice reviews about the hope of this story continuing so here it is! So I don't know how you guys are going to feel about this chapter…ok what I actually mean is I don't know how you guys will feel about the end of the chapter. Please don't get too mad at Bonnie and please don't hate me for it. Lol! It will work itself out…promise!

So yeah also I disclaim. I do not own the characters of vampire diaries or the plot of vampire diaries nor would I ever want to…way too much pressure! Enjoy!

Chapter 4

I hadn't found the answer yet and once again I was reminded that I was a failure. Everyone that had been in and out of my life in my 100+ years had made it clear that, that's all I was. My father, Stefan, Katherine, Elena and countless others loved to tell me in their own ways how much I sucked and now I was proving them right. It had been 13 days and 4 hours since I read Bonnie's letter and I still hadn't figured out how to save her. My days and nights were spent pouring over grimoire's and spending time with the Bennett women looking for answers...I had even asked the useless twins for help after Stefan pushed me to. Of course they had no answers. Every idea ended in the same answer: no witches had enough strength to reach that far back in time and literally rip Bonnie from another plane. Lucy certainly didn't have enough Bennett juice to do it and the twins could do parlor tricks at best...even combined they weren't certain they would be able to keep a portal open long enough for me to get Bonnie. We would need a coven...and none were willing to help us for fear of releasing Kai. On top of that Bonnie's so called friends had fallen down on the job. Alaric had practically forbade me from asking Jo for help anymore since the truth about the Gemini coven came out. His argument was that Bonnie could take care of herself since she had magic but that Jo had sent hers away and Kai would kill her if he got out. I was also finding opposition from Tyler when it came to Liv. Granted Liv didn't have enough strength to do anything but if she could convince her coven to help we could certainly get her out…that was off the table also. Everything was apparently off the table but when I would bring up the fact that Bonnie was still in that hell hole with Kai each of her friends would say the same thing: 'I'm not saying we can't save Bonnie but we can't do it at the risk of setting Kai free.'

I was back to square one. And on top of it Elena had been following me around like a lost lamb. It started with her wanting to help but lately she had been coming over just to talk and she kept making comments about how shocked she was that I was doing so much to get Bonnie back. She was impressed and I could practically see her falling for me all over again. I was sure that if Ric was still a vampire she would be asking him to undo the compulsion. I would find a way to get Bonnie back and after that she could patch stuff up with Jeremy and I could begin eternity with Elena. I had begun to believe I was in love with Bonnie but I now knew that I was just filled to the brim with guilt. Once she was safe I could move past these feelings and be happy and fulfilled with Elena.

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Bonnie shot up in bed, her breathing jagged and forced as she clutched her chest. This was the third night she had dreamt of her grams but every time she would wake up out of breath and she could barely remember what the dream was about. She did know however that it was important.

After calming herself down and taking a sip of lukewarm water she settled back into the bed with a single agenda: letting grams tell or show her what she needed to know. She fell back into sleep easily and when she opened her eyes she was in a field of flowers standing in front of grams.

"Hello Bonnie. How are you child?"

"Grams." She smiled and started to tear up. She rushed to her and held on for as long as possible.

Grams held her tightly and whispered reassurances in her ear before pulling back to rub the tears from her face.

"Grams what's going on? Why do you keep coming to me?"

"I know how to get you out of this world, honey."

Her mouth dropped open and she blinked repeatedly. "You do?"

"Yes, child. Now listen and pay attention because we only have one chance to do this."

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Bonnie awoke calmly and breathed a sigh of relief with a smile on her face. She got up and packed a small bag to take with her and then made her way to the witch's house. As soon as she entered she could hear the witch's whispering in her ear, urging her to take the stairs to the basement. After entering the basement she walked to the middle of the room and used a crowbar to rip up one of the wooden planks. Inside the opening was a simple distressed box the size of her palm. She slipped it into her pocket and exited the house to walk to the graveyard where the Bennett women had been buried. She dropped her bag to the ground and removed the box from her pocket before opening it and removing the stone inside. The hag stone felt rough and the hole in the middle was small but the power was great. She took out her knife and sliced her palm open before smearing every inch of the stone with her Bennett blood and then placing it in the middle of the Bennett headstones. As soon as the stone touched the ground a ring of fire surrounded the graves, ivy vines ripped out of the ground and wrapped around the headstones in a tight embrace, and a cyclone of wind enveloped Bonnie's small body.

She turned in a complete circle to watch as every Bennett witch came out of the woods and entered the ring of fire. The sound of the wind became deafening and every witch clasped hands but a spot was left empty as Grams approached Bonnie. She placed her hands on the side of her face and kissed her forehead.

"Stay strong Bonnie. Don't ever let anyone use you again. You are the last hope of the Bennett line. Make us proud." She leaned into her ear and whispered, "We will always be with you."

She stepped back into the circle and clasped the hand of Emily Bennett and another ancestor, Eleanor. They then threw their heads back and a low disturbing hum started to overtake the sound of the wind, as they began to chant. The chanting grew and grew until they were practically screaming and Bonnie braced herself. The pain would be great but the end result would be revolutionary…she would hold all of the Bennett magic in her body for all time. Suddenly the chanting stopped and their heads snapped forward, each of them staring at her with black fathomless eyes. The light of the eclipse fell upon her and the magic from each of their bodies shot out from their chests, from their hearts, and dove into Bonnie's body at an unimaginable speed. Their eyes were black from being empty but hers became blinding white as the white magic filled her to the brim. She screamed and her body bowed backwards and lifted in the air, she appeared to be almost in half. Seconds later her body dropped to the ground and every witch disappeared without a trace.

She stood gracelessly from the ground, her eyes now green once again but more vibrant, almost glowing in the darkness. She hauled her bag over her shoulder and said in a confident voice, 'Home.' She blinked out of existence and then reappeared in the woods of modern day Mystic Falls. She walked out of the woods with an impressive strong gait and made her way to the boarding house.

She simply walked into the middle of their little meeting and stood in silence. They were laughing and joking. They were happy and didn't seem to be missing her at all. It actually took awhile before they noticed her. Each of them jumped to their feet in shock except for Damon who felt as if his heart was going to explode.

Caroline whispered a tentative, 'Bonnie?'

Bonnie's head jerked to the side to look at her in an almost inhuman way. Elena took a small step towards her, 'How?'

A small smile crept across her face. "I'm a Bennett."

DBDBDBDBDBBDBDBDBDB

She was bent over the table mixing some concoction. Her skin tight, quarter-inch sleeved black dress stopped right below her ass, leaving her caramel cream legs exposed. Deep purple heels adorned her feet, heavy smoky black makeup covered her eyes, and her hair was tousled like her fuck me pumps had done their job.

I had been watching her since she entered the party an hour ago. She entered with a shit eating grin and proceeded to ignore all of her friends while grinding against faceless, nameless men. Her friends were insulted, I was heartbroken. If Bonnie three years ago could see the Bonnie now she wouldn't recognize herself. They had lost her since she returned from 1994 a month ago and I was convinced she was lost forever. She had barely spoken to anyone since returning including myself. I had no idea what she had been doing for the past month. I knew she was back in school but that was the extent. None of us were actually invited to her grams and if we tried to even enter the yard we would hit an invisible boundary, that didn't stop blondie from inviting her to this spur of the moment party to celebrate us all being in the land of the living once again. This was probably the last chance I would have to speak with her because I was sure she would once again go into hiding once she left the boarding house tonight.

I ran my hand through my hair and then started walking towards my witch, effectively cutting off Alaric mid statement.

I leaned a hip against the bar watching her as she made a Jack and coke that contained at least 90% whiskey.

"Hi Bon Bon."

Her eyebrow lifted and she smiled slyly but didn't lift her eyes from her cup as she filled it with whiskey. "Damon..."

"Having fun?"

"Not really but it's about to get better." She lifted the glass and took a giant gulp followed by a slight shiver and a wrinkling of her nose. She then sat her glass down and finally made eye contact with me.

"So what do I owe this pleasure? Shouldn't you be chasing Elena around telling her about the good old days?"

My mouth tensed with unspoken insults but I chose to ignore her comment."Speaking of your friends, when are you going to stop ignoring them?"

"I don't know what you're talking about..."

"Don't do that. Don't pretend with me. I heard Elena and Caroline complaining to Stefan that you've been ignoring all their calls and texts. Elena even said you've also been ignoring boy wonder over there."I jabbed my thumb in the direction of Jeremy who had been sulking in a corner all night."What's wrong with you?"

"Me? Nothing's wrong with me."

I leaned closer to her and lowered my voice for only her ears. "Bullshit! The Bonnie I know would never abandon her friends."

Bonnie quickly closed the space between us. Her green eyes stared into mine with a cold glint and her warm breath tickled my lip. "That Bonnie died a long time ago. Keep up Damon...I thought you were the smart brother. They're not my friends anymore and the quicker all of you figure that out the happier we'll all be."

My hand lifted and my fingers trailed down her face. A somber look overtook my face. "Bon Bon what happened to you?" For a fraction of a second I saw her facade slip and sadness fill her eyes before Elena interrupted us and the coldness replaced it once again.

"Hey Bonnie. Enjoying the party?"

Bonnie turned slowly towards Elena with a fake, hard as diamonds smile. Elena had a

tense smile and was fidgeting with the hem of her dress.

"I knew since Damon and I were talking you would be over here soon enough."

Elena's mouth dropped open. "Bonnie, it's not like that. We just haven't talked much since you came back and I wanted to know how you've been."

Bonnie chuckled with disbelief. "Ok Elena, well I'm going to go dance with that hot random that's been watching me all night...with any luck it'll go beyond dancing. You two enjoy being awkward."

Before she could even take a step, Elena stopped her with her hand on her wrist. Bonnie looked down at Elena's hand encircling her wrist and then back up at her face with a sharp expression. Elena quickly dropped Bonnie's wrist but didn't move out of her way. Bonnie merely lifted her eyebrow in question."Bonnie I know it's none of my business but I really think you should at least talk to Jeremy instead of trying to make him jealous. He made mistakes while you were gone but he loves you...he just needs a second chance."

I not only saw but felt the anger and hate fighting to the surface in Bonnie's body. Every light in the boarding house began to flicker and the music came to an abrupt halt. Every person turned towards Bonnie who had anger coming off her in waves. Elena took a cautious step back but waited for Bonnie to talk. "I wasn't gone, Elena. I was dead. Something that seems to have escaped all of you but Damon. But since you and Caroline seem to want to have a little pow wow so fucking bad, let's have one. I was dead. I died. And do you know how long Jeremy waited before he was hip deep in some girl? Huh, do you?! Two weeks. That's it! So don't you dare tell me he loves me. Even if he does it's not the type of love I want or deserve."

"Bonnie, I was just trying to be helpful. Let's just get back to the party."

"Oh no! I want to talk. Isn't that what you and Caroline have been begging for? Didn't you complain to Stefan that I wasn't being the bestest, best friend ever?"

Alaric stepped forward and started to reach out a hand for her shoulder but pulled back fast when she looked at him sharply. "Bonnie, maybe you should take a break from everything and go get some air. Try and calm down..."

"Alaric I suggest you go back to your corner with your all-consuming girlfriend. I mean she's what's important right? You did chose to leave me in hell with a psychopath for her so shouldn't you be spending every minute with her?"Alaric opened his mouth to defend himself but could only babble. I merely shook my head at him and Alaric shut his mouth and walked back to Jo.

Bonnie smiled sweetly. "Now that,that interruption is over let me finish this overdue speech." She turned to each person as she spoke to them, making sure to keep eye contact with each so her message was clear. "Jeremy you and I are done. I will never again lower myself enough to believe the type of relationship we had is good enough. Tyler and Alaric I brought both of you back to life and the first chance both of you got you chose women you barely knew over me. Both of you should remember that you are human again and will probably need the services of a witch in the near future...my particular services are no longer available to either of you so I hope you can protect yourselves. Matty Blue Blue all I have to say to you, is get the hell out of this town. You are so special and you deserve more than the fucked up life you've had. Caroline I love you. You're my best friend but as soon as a new guy comes into the picture I don't exist. I'm not saying our friendship is over but I need time and I'm hoping you can give it to me" Caroline merely smiled sweetly and nodded her head in acceptance. "Stefan we're not close but I care about you regardless. Don't ever feel bad for moving on when Damon died...it was what was best for you at the time. And Elena," Elena became very stiff, clearly anxious of what Bonnie would say, "Elena, Elena, Elena...our friendship is over. I have lost everything because of you. My mother left because of you and eventually got turned to save you once again. My grandmother died to save your boyfriend. Silas got out for a cure that you wasted which not only lead to my father's death but my own. I gave up coming back to the land of the living to send Damon and you had erased him because it was easier. And not once have you offered a heartfelt apology or even a thank you. You are selfish. You truly believe the world revolves around you and that's partly because of me and the Salvatores' but I refuse to put you on a pedestal any longer. What they do is their business but we are officially done. Pull your head out of your ass Elena and find the girl you used to be because I don't even recognize you anymore."

By the time Bonnie finished, tears were streaming down Elena's face…not from hearing the truth but because Bonnie had dared to be mean to her. Bonnie sighed loudly and gave up. She put her glass down on the table with a loud smack causing a crack to splinter it and walked through the mass of astonished faces and out the front door.

Before she could make it to the end of the driveway, I was in front of her with my arms crossed. She came to an abrupt halt and crossed her arms as well.

"What?"

"Where are you going?"

"Somewhere not here." She walked around me and continued to her car, but once again stopped short when I zipped back in front of her. She balled up her hands and squeezed until it hurt.

"God damn it, Damon! Stop! I'm leaving…now get out of my way."

"No."

She sighed and put her head down. "Why?"

"I think you need to talk and since I'm the only person you're speaking to I figured I'd offer my services."

"I don't need to talk, Damon. I need to leave."

"You need to let out all that anger and talking out your feelings, though something I would rather not do, will help you so I'm willing to suck it up and listen to you."

A quizzical look overtook her face before the corner of her mouth lifted in a smug smile. She slowly approached me and placed her hands on my chest and proceeded to smooth out my gray v-neck while biting her bottom lip. I swore I stopped breathing and that my non-existent heartbeat sped up. Her eyes slowly lifted up to mine and she looked like she had made a major decision.

"You want to help me with my anger, Damon?" I nodded slowly. "Good. Then how about we climb into the back of your Camaro and fuck?"

My mouth fell open and I took a slight step back. "What? Bonnie you don't mean that."

"Yes I do. I am angry and sex will help with that. Also it's not like we haven't been working our way up to it. Think about all the tension between us, Damon, from hating each other all those years…the sex is long overdue." She stepped up to me once again and slid one hand up my chest and the other got bold and cupped me through my jeans. I hissed through my teeth at the contact but didn't remove her hand.

"I know you want me Damon and not just from the obvious," adding a gentle squeeze to my growing member, "I've seen the way you look at me when you think no one is paying attention. I know you've wanted me for years…wanted to know what I taste like, how wet I can get, how loud I can scream." She was whispering in my ear and it was taking everything in me not to take her in the driveway but the idea of Elena kept stopping me. We still weren't together. She was playing hot and cold with me once again, like she had when she was with Stefan but a part of me still wanted her. I knew that if I did this with Bonnie, Elena would never give me another chance and I didn't think I could live with that. However, then she said the one thing that made up my mind. "You know what I also know? I know that I want you too, not Stefan, not some random college guy, just you Damon."

I jerked away from her and breathed deeply while staring at her. For once she looked nervous and insecure. I simply offered her my hand, lead her to my car, and shut the door softly behind us.

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For the past ten minutes she had been sitting on my lap in the backseat trying to get me to be rougher, harder, faster. However, no matter what she did I continued to treat her gently. My left hand wrapped around her hip while my right hand held her chin gently in place as our lips met. Soft lips on soft lips, hot breath mixed with hot breath, moans melding into one. Both her hands slipped into my hair and anchored as my warm, wet lips met her neck in eager hunger. As my mouth devoured her neck my hands made their way up her dress, shockingly finding no underwear. She braced herself as my fingers found her core, two fingers slipping into her wet heat. It wasn't long before she was grasping at me and breathing heavy, begging for more.

"Please, Damon. I need…I need more."

I smiled against her neck before whispering, "Ok, baby."

I then reached between us and released myself from my straining jeans. Civil Wars I Had me a Girl played in the background and as I finally entered her warm, snug heat the lyrics 'I had me a girl like cigarette smoke, she came and she went' played.

We moved slowly, foreheads pressed together, eyes open, both feeling something we couldn't describe and something we had never felt before. My fingers traced her jaw and I softly kissed her before speeding up. As we fell deeper into each other her head fell backwards, her hands tugging at my ink black hair as my hands dug into the skin of her back, bruising it, and my head fell to her chest. I was so close but I refused to reach my peak until she reached hers. Just as the thought entered my head I felt her muscles tighten around me and a sharp gasp escape her as she shook violently. I secretly thanked, which ever deity ran the world and let out a guttural moan as I fell over the edge.

DBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDB

I ran my fingers up and down Bonnie's spine as I came down from my high. It had been at least five minutes and my breathing was just returning to normal. Immediately after our joint petit morte Bonnie had buried her face in my chest and that's where it had remained. I was fine with her taking a few minutes for herself to think because I needed that time too. I knew that nothing would ever be the same between us again. This thing between us had been coming for a long time but we had never seen it because of our blind devotion to the Gilberts. All it took was untimely deaths and betrayal by our loved ones for us to realize what every outsider had…we craved each other…in more ways than one. I craved her with my body of course but I also craved her with my heart. She was important to me and I didn't want to lose her. It was time to admit it, now that she was safely back in my arms, I loved her. Yes I had admitted that to Stefan awhile ago but I had very quickly taken it back because the idea of loving anyone without Elena's face was almost laughable. The truth was, however, that I loved Bonnie Bennett probably more than I had ever loved a doppelganger…I wondered when those feelings had started but I truly didn't have the answer. As my fingers slowly inched up her side in soft wisps I made the conscious decision that Elena and I were over.

I felt Bonnie starting to lift her head but I needed to explain my feelings to her before she could look me in the eyes and strip away my confidence. I placed my open palm on her back and pushed her back down and she went willingly.

"Do you know when I realized I was in love with you, Bonnie?" Her body became stiff against mine and she didn't utter a word but I continued anyway. "I had just told you what I had done to Zack's girlfriend and baby and then asked you to send me back regardless and although you knew how I usually reacted when told no, you still said it. And I waited for the anger to take over my body but it didn't happen. I simply respected your decision. If anything I felt pride that you wouldn't back down from me and then Kai tried to touch you and I saw red. The old Damon, Elena's Damon, would have let Kai deal with my problem but the idea of him touching you made me sick. I wanted…no I needed to protect you because I didn't want to face a world without you in it. Though I didn't think he could take you away from me the idea terrified me and in that moment I loved you."

After I finished my speech I let my hand fall from her back so she could sit up and respond. She slowly lifted her body from my chest but instead of a warm smile, or tear filled eyes, her facial expression was nothing but pity. She chuckled lowly in her throat.

"Damon I'm not Elena. Telling me some pathetic little tale of your undying love does nothing for me. This was sex. We fucked and it was good and if you want to do it again you know my number but this was not the beginning of our eternal future together. You're pathetic and I get it…I do. You want to be loved like Stefan has been loved…fully, completely, eternally but let's be truthful…that will never happen. You're just not good enough." With those final words she lifted herself from my lap, opened the door, and stepped out to put her dress back in place. She slammed the door, fluffed her hair, and walked slowly to her new blood red Hyundai Elantra before speeding away.

I sat there in shock. My mouth hung slightly open, my head was pounding, and my chest felt like it was caving in on itself. I was convinced I had never felt pain like this. I didn't want to scream or cry or even drain someone completely…I just wanted to sit there and accept that I would never truly be loved. So that's what I did…I sat in that backseat until the sun came up and the boarding house was empty and one thought kept running through my head: I had me a girl like cigarette smoke, she came and she went.