Author's Note:

I promise that the plotless fluff/angst is explained in the next couple chapters, but please hang in there until then, I really am trying to get better at this! Song lyrics are from Leave Me Alone by Pink.

Review and you can have J2 with wrapped up with a bow on top ;-)

"Go away, give me a chance to miss you

Say goodbye."

Sam's P.O.V.

"Gabriel's alive?" I said so fast I nearly got tongue tied.

I'd thought there was no hope, that he was gone for good. The advice he had once given me had occurred many times. Sometimes you just gotta let people go…I still remembered him saying those words. I hadn't been able to follow the advice then and I wasn't following it now. Ever since his death had been confirmed through that video, I'd been irrationally grieving him. He'd done so much to us, but still I hadn't been able to hate him. I couldn't get past the fact he'd died for us. For humans. He'd contradicted everything the angels (excluding Castiel) stood for. Trickster or no Trickster that had to count for something.

"That I am presently aware of. I visited with him this morning," Castiel explained.

"Where is he?" Dean asked, all the while studying his friend worriedly, who had visibly lost a lot of weight since we'd last seen him.

It was hard to see him properly under the bulky trench coat he normally wore, but now that he was stripped from the waist up, we could practically count his ribs. The mental list of questions I had was growing more and more by the minute. What had happened to Cas? Who had brought him back and tried to rip his wings out? What had happened with Gabriel? But currently, as I went through all this in my head, there was one very important question that stood out from the rest: Where the hell was the Tylenol? I felt a serious headache coming on.

"Not far from here, but lying low for the time being. I can take us there once I've regained my strength."

"We should call Bobby, see what he can scrounge up about all this," Dean suggested.

I nodded. "I don't think we can get signal in here, so you go outside and call him, I'm going to see what I can find on the Internet," I said, pulling my computer out of its case and sitting it on the small table.

I focused my attention on the web pages I scrolled through, searching for an answer and finding none. Cas, the only other person in the room, was sliding his shirt back on, heedless of the bloodstains. Had I not been looking over at him and been a naturally perceptive person, I wouldn't have noticed the way he fumbled with the buttons. His fingers trembled slightly as he worked. I walked over and sat down next to him, but he didn't respond to my presence.

"Cas, are you okay?" I asked.

He looked up at the sound of his nickname. "I am fine, Sam."

"No you're not. You're shaking, you're paler than usual…what's wrong?" I asked.

When he turned away, the light given off by the only lamp in the room illuminated what I hadn't seen before. On top of the paleness and trembling, dark circles ringed his eyes like they would on a human that needed sleep. But that wasn't possible, because even though his powers were weakened, he was still very much an angel. The closer I inspected him, the worse he looked. Dean would throw a royal fit once he saw just how bad off Castiel was. Probably threaten to beat the living Hell out of whoever had done this, knowing him.

"I do not know what happened. I woke up this way," Cas finally admitted. "Gabriel is in the same shape I am."

I repressed the flicker of worry that his words sparked. "Did someone try to tear his wings out too?"

"Tried and failed, just as they did with me. His back bears the same marks mine do."

"Where is he? We'll take the Impala if you're not strong enough to just zap us there."

"An abandoned home approximately twenty-eight miles from here. I will give you directions as we go."

"Give us directions to where?" asked Dean, who'd walked in on the very end of the conversation.

"To where Gabriel is. We should ask him if he remembers anything more than Cas does," I said, getting to my feet.

"Okay, let's go."

Dean's P.O.V.

"Cas, finish getting dressed," I said over my shoulder as I walked out.

"I've tried," I heard him murmur under his breath. It was very low as if I wasn't meant to hear it.

"What do you mean?" I asked, turning around. Sam was waiting in the car, but I wanted to know what he was talking about.

"I am not sure what happened when I woke up, but I am in a very…weak state."

He motioned to himself for emphasis, and I then realized just how much of a "weak state" he was in. Pale, thin, looked like a human that hadn't slept in a few days. Weak state my ass. He looked like he was ready to fall over, more like it. I immediately walked over and knelt down in front of him where he was sitting on the edge of the bed, easily buttoning the shirt and helping him into his coat. I was in big brother caretaker mode, which had once been reserved solely for Sammy and now included Cas.

"Is there anything I can do to help?" I asked.

"I will be fine soon, I am sure of it," he said, rising to his feet.

He swayed uneasily before his knees seemed to buckle underneath him, but thankfully I was on my feet and able to catch him. He limply collapsed forward, and I hooked an arm around his waist to keep him upright. He was conscious, though he didn't seem to be able to keep his feet under him by himself. I realized with a sinking feeling that he wasn't getting better, he was getting worse. He hadn't been this bad off when Sam and I had first shown up. I readjusted us so my arm was still holding him up but he was leaned into my side so I could walk.

It wasn't all that easy because of the compromising position we were in, but finally I got us out to the Impala. I opened the and laid him out on the backseat before getting into the driver's side. Sam looked back at the weakened angel with concern before giving me a questioning glance. I had been around him long enough to know what that meant. Is he okay?

I gave a worried half shrug and pulled out onto the road. "Okay Cas, where to first?"

He gave us directions on how to get to Gabriel from the backseat, his voice sounding even more cracked and uneven than usual, which was saying something. I glanced back at him frequently as we drove. By the time we finally got to where Gabriel was staying, the angel was sound asleep, sprawled out on the seat. Sam stared at the abandoned house before us like it might bite. I was about to ask if he'd suddenly developed a phobia for crappy houses with overgrown lawns and then remembered how badly he'd reacted to Gabriel's death. He'd kept his mouth shut when I'd given in to the immature impulse to hug Cas back at the motel, so I bit back the usual sarcastic comment and decided to let his nervous expression slide. Now we were even.

"Should we wake Cas up?" he asked.

"His wings almost got torn out of his back. I don't think it's exactly safe to leave him alone, even if it's just for a minute," I said, getting out and then opening the back door.

I gently nudged his shoulder, which didn't do a lick of good. He slept on. I gently whispered his name, not wanting to startle him. Startling Sammy awake sometimes resulted in pain, I didn't think doing the same to an angel would turn out very well either. I nudged his shoulder a tiny bit harder, and he finally opened his eyes. Rather it was the exhaustion I saw there or the awful shape he was in physically, I came to terms with just how fragile he was right now.

"C'mon Sleeping Beauty, we're here," I said, and he nodded drowsily before tumbling out of the car.

He managed to walk without being practically drug this time, but I still kept a hand wrapped around his arm to steady him. Sam walked ahead of us, not seeming to know what to feel more prominently; Eagerness or nervousness. I watched his shoulders tense and relax as he took a deep breath and then knocked on the door. Apparently Gabrel had been expecting us, because it was only a brief moment before he opened the door. I felt my eyebrows raise at the sight of him.

There he was, alive and well. His eyes were bright and glittering, his blond hair was pulled back away from his face, and he was grinning like it was just another Tuesday. My jaw hung open at the sight. The Trickster looked between the three of us, a chocolate bar appearing in his left hand as he happily took a bite of it. Obviously his powers hadn't been weakened like Cas' had.

"Well? Are you chuckleheads just going to stand there or are you going to come in?"

Wow. Just when I thought life couldn't get any more jacked up.

"Go away, come back

Go away, come back

Why can't I just have it both ways?"