I sat in the sand on the beach trying to think things through, was I really about to leave Avery to heal?
My answer every time was that it was for us and I had promised her and Jared I would. My plane leaves tomorrow morning, I'll be heading back to Australia for a week. Brandon more than welcomed me to stay in his home. I agreed not really wanting to stay in a hotel since our previous house was already sold. I remembered the excitement his voice held when I told him I was coming back and the way he lost it when I said only for seven days. Then he threw in some cheesy line about only needed seven days, I rolled my eyes but it made me smile anyway.
My next thought was Jared watching Avery. I trusted my brother don't get me wrong, but once upon a time he had to babysit me and those were the only times in my life I had gotten in trouble with my parents. I was the good daughter to some extent but once Jared was 'watching' me, all hell broke loose. I just hoped and prayed they wouldn't burn the house down while I was gone, something Jared was capable of doing without Avery. My dad and Emily promised to keep tabs on them and that was the only reason I was slightly ok with the idea and still going.
Then my mind drifted off to Paul, I sighed and brought my knees up resting my chin on them. All I could see was the sadness in his when I told him to stay away from Avery and the hurt when I told him to stay away from me. We've literally been here for three days now and he and Avery were already so close. I could see in his eyes how much he adored her and how much she looked up to him. I coldly chuckled with no amusement in my voice. Maybe this was fate getting back at me, I wouldn't tell Paul the truth so they took it upon themselves to make them bond and become close. Maybe one day I'd have the strength to tell him or to tell Avery, maybe I won't but in the end I just want her to know I made my decisions based on her happiness. For some strange and sickening reason though I now wanted to make decisions for Paul's happiness too.
I rubbed my tired eyes and stretched a little not wanting to think anymore and only wanting to relax. I looked at the beautiful beach before me searching for the two people I came with, but they seemed to be nowhere in sight. Before I could get up and look for them, buckets of water soaked my hair and clothes. I heard the adorable giggles of Avery and Seth's loud laughing behind me.
"Oh I'm going to get you two," I said with a playful look on my face. They immediately took off running and I quickly chased after them. I was repulsed by the fact that my clothes were wet, I hated the feeling but as I chased after the laughing two I couldn't help but smile. Seth was a little to fast for me but I caught Avery sure enough. I picked her up and hugged her against my body, getting her wet and spinning her around. Her giggles were loud in my ear, there was no way she could get louder. "I got you Avery!" I gloated.
"You cheated!" She laughed.
"Nope I got you fair and square, who's ya momma?" I couldn't help but laugh myself as I continued to pick with her and tickle her sides as I now carried her along the beach. I noticed Seth running towards us with a evil smile on his face and tried to run with Avery in my arms, but trust me she was not my little baby anymore. Seth wrapped his arms around me and successfully picked me up while I held on tightly to Avery. He then tossed the both of us in the water like it was nothing, completely shocking me.
"I win!" He shouted making all of us laugh.
"Now you Seth, are a cheater," I accused with a smile.
"Cheater cheater Pumpkin eater Seth!" Avery yelled at him.
"I'll show you a cheater." He ran into the water and picked Avery up spinning her in the water and tossing her a few feet away just for the fun of it. Avery laughed and swam around like a little fish I call it, the girl was a natural and well I'd expect so from living right off the beach in Australia.
I splashed and played around with her and Seth for a little longer before getting out and taking a seat in the sand watching them play. Avery took a stronger liking to Seth more then anybody, sometimes I think she might like him more than me. I smiled at them, I could see the love, friendship and desire to protect her from everything in Seth's eye. It confused me for a second but I didn't think to much on it, Seth was a great guy and a complete sweetheart so I trusted him.
Once the sun started to set, we decided to walked home to Jared's. Seth carried a sleeping Avery on his back while he and I laughed and talked about random things.
"Hey Seth you were really strong back there picking us both up," I mentioned.
"Nah, you two were just really light," He mused with a big smile but I shook my head in disagreement.
"It's from hanging with my brother and them huh?" He frowned a little and looked forward not wanting to answer that. I placed my hand on his shoulder and gave him a soft smile. "It's ok Seth but let me tell you, steroids are bad for you." He laughed at my comment as we finally made it home. I walked in and was surprised to smell yummy food cooking. I headed into the kitchen to see dad and Jared at the stove.
"Welcome back," Jared greeted as he continued to cook.
"Oh god please don't burn the house down," I stressed to them. Jared looked at me for a second and rolled his eyes. He looked back at the food before taking a double take of me and my wet clothes.
"What the hell happened to you?" He asked and dad immediately smacked the back of his head.
"I just had a little fun down at the beach with Seth and Avery," I told him, laughing at the pout he was giving dad.
"Good, now go have a shower, dinner will be ready in fifteen," dad said.
I headed to the living room to see Avery awake, I sent her upstairs to have a bath and quickly pulled out some pajama pants and a tshirt for her to put on. Once she was dressed I squeezed all the water out of her curls and put it into a high bun before sending her downstairs with Seth. I then quickly washed my body and hair before also changing into pajamas and putting my wet hair in a bun.
Once I headed downstairs, everybody was just taking their seats around the table. I took the one between dad and Jared, across from Avery. We prayed and then we ate having light conversations and lots of laughter, moments like this made all the hurt and hard decisions worth it. My dad took my hand in his and we started to have our own little side conversation.
"When do you leave?" He asked.
"In the morning," I quickly responded. He nooded and squeezed my hand giving me a reassuring smile.
"I think this will be good for you Brooke," he said and I returned the smile.
"Thanks dad I think so too." We were interrupted by a knock at the door. I was voted to answer it since everyone else was too full and lazy.
My good mood immediately sunk when the door opened to reveal Paul. For a second I just stared at him and he stared back, then once I registered that I was not happy with him I closed the door well tried to. He stuck his foot in the way and I just glared at him but didn't say anything because I knew it was going to turn into yelling which would attract Avery.
"Brooke-" he started, looking at the floor and then back up at me. His eyes met mine before he got down on his knees shocking the hell out of me. "Words could not come close to telling you how sorry I am for hurting you. It was the biggest mistake of my life and I regretted it everyday." My heart started beating faster and harder, I had to clutch my chest to assure it wouldn't just jump out. "I know nothing I say can make it better but trust and believe me when I say I did it to protect you. If I had harmed you in anyway I wouldn't have been able to forgive myself. Yet I still broke your heart and that is unforgivable in my eyes, but even though I don't deserve anything from you-" he trailed off.
He started to tear up and so did I, watching him choke over his words and the fact that he's here on his knees apologizing with all he has left made me feel horrible. I did this to him I broke him, apart of me thought he deserved it but majority of me knew who the real Paul was and no matter how angry I was I instantly forgave him.
"Even though you shouldn't, I just want to ask for your forgiveness. I need you in my life. I've spent almost seven years away from you and I can't lose you again, I won't. So wether it be as a friend or babysitter, whatever you need just let me be that I know I can do it, I need you in my life." He wiped his eyes and I sniffled before doing the same.
"Paul-"
"Avery too," he said cutting me off and I looked at him shocked, "I need Avery in my life too."
I just broke in that moment and cried in the doorway of the house, unable to silence my sobs any longer. He stood up and pulled me outside and into his warm chest closing the door behind me. At first I didn't hug back, had I just easily forgiven him? I was at a breaking point arguing back and forth internally. I wanted so bad to still be angry with him but I knew in my heart that I know longer was. He apologized sincerely and there was nothing more he could do or say and for the first time in seven years that was enough for me.
I hugged his warm body as tight as I could, holding on for dear life afraid that if I let go he would disappear and this moment would have never happened.
"Brooke?" He called and I hummed in response. He gently pulled me away and looked deeply into my eyes, maybe even through them if that was possible.
"I still love you like that fight never happened." He stared at me, honesty written in his eyes and I sighed.
"Paul I-"
Before I could respond his warm and soft lips gently placed themselves against my own, sending chills all through my body. I ached with excitement, want and need, I couldn't remember the last kiss we shared but I knew this present one put them all to shame. He pulled back and stared again into my brown eyes, if his arms weren't still around me I would have fallen from weak knees.
"Paul, I'm leaving for Australia in the morning," I quickly told him. He looked angry but it quickly turned into sadness as he released me and I notably felt the warmness disappear from my body. "Avery will still be here until I come back," I added and he looked confused as he made eye contact again.
"When will you be back?" He asked.
"In nine days," I quickly answered. He nodded and held my hand tightly, radiating warmth.
"Could we talk more when you get back?" Ha asked and I smiled at him, but shook my head yes.
"Sure Paul I'd like that, and what I said yesterday about staying away from Avery, you don't have to. She obviously cares for you a lot and I would never do anything to hurt her."
"You're a great mom Brooke," he said and I blushed in response, accepting his compliment. He held his hand out to me and I looked at it before placing my own on top of his.
"To starting over," he whispered.
"To starting over," I whispered back.
After Paul left and we cleaned up the kitchen, I laid awake snuggled into my bed between Avery and Jared. They both wanted to sleep with me since I would be gone in the morning and I thought it was adorable. They were two of the most important people in my life.
Jared lay on his stomach with his hands tucked under my pillows, I lay against his shoulder and Avery was snuggled into my side holding onto me tightly while I stroked her curly hair. I couldn't help but play the events of the conversation I had with Paul over and over again in my head. I don't take it back, I truly did forgive him but I felt as though nothing could really happen between us but a friendship. I absentmindedly touched my lips that were still shaking from his kiss and I couldn't help but smile. No Brooke don't even go there, I groaned as I sunk my body further into the bed.
Did I want more then a friendship with Paul?
Was I still in love with him?
I wondered how much he'd still be in love with me once he found out the truth, that Avery was his. He'd for sure hate me and as of right now I couldn't find a good enough excuse to pardon my actions. Something in me wished he didn't apologize, it's so much easier to be mad at someone. I felt the tugging in my heart again and I touched my chest trying to ignore the feeling. I had to get some sleep or I'd be miserable in the morning.
I held Avery closer and kissed her forehead before giving her one last look. "I'm sorry baby if anything I do or any of the decisions I've made or will make in the future hurts you. I swear everything I've ever done was for you." I took a deep breath and released it before closing my eyes and letting sleep take me.
The next morning I woke up at eight and took a quick shower before changing and meeting Avery, Jared and dad downstairs. I hugged Jared super tight and he picked me up and spun me making me laugh.
"I love you little sister, you'll do fine and I'll protect Avery I promise," he told me. I smiled at him and gently touched his cheek
"I know I trust you, but just in case anything happens I'll kill you," I told him and he laughed, hugging me again before pulling away and ruffling my hair. I glared at him as I straightened it and went over to Avery. Just the sight of her made me want to change my mind. I had to keep reminding myself, I'm doing this for us, she needs me to be better for her.
She ran into my arms hugging me as tight as she could and I returned it. I pulled away and pushed her curls out of her face looking into her wet brown eyes that mirrored mine.
"I promise I'll be back soon," I told her.
"I know," she responded with a smile, "I love you mummy."
"I love you too princess, so much." I hugged her again before grabbing my bags and heading out the door with dad, he was driving me to the airport. I turned towards them one more time making sure to remember every detail about them.
"Bye mum have a safe trip!" she yelled.
"Yea and have fun or we'll extend your stay," yelled Jared. I rolled my eyes at him but smiled anyway.
"Don't burn the house down, and Jared be the adult for once in your life," I shouted to him and he glared at me. I giggled as I got into the car and put my seatbelt on, dad entered as well and started the car up. I leaned my head out the window as we pulled off. "I love you two!" I screamed.
"We love you too!" They yelled back. I watched them until they disappeared from view.
After a day of traveling I found myself standing outside of the airport in Australia. I was smiling at the picture of Avery holding a huge plate of pancakes that Jared had just sent me. It was nine at night here in Australia and I was waiting for Brandon to pick me up. I was staying with him for a week which made me slightly hesitant.
"Waiting for someone beautiful?" His voice startled me and I almost dropped my phone. I looked up to see Brandon smiling at me and I returned it.
"Good to see you Brandon," I said.
"You too," he said as he took me in his arms and hugged me tightly, then we left.
Once we made it to his house he led me to the guest room and sat my suitcase down.
"You look tired why don't you get some rest," he suggested.
"Yeah I will, thanks for everything,"I said genuinely.
"You know I'd do anything for you, goodnight."
"Night." After he left I took a nice hot shower and then jumped into bed pulling out my phone and calling Jared.
"Go to sleep," he answered, his voice annoyed.
"Is that anyway to answer a phone?" I questioned sarcastically.
"Brooke," he said in a warning voice.
"I'm going to sleep I just called to talk to my love first."
"Ok I'll put you on speaker, we're at Em's just so you know." I heard shuffling and then Jared telling people to shut up.
"Mummy!" My Princess' voice rang in my ears making me smile.
"Hi baby I miss you so much."
"I miss you too! Is Brandon there?"
"He's in his room asleep, he said he loves and misses you though, I tell her.
"Me too, did you get our picture?" I smiled as I visually recalled the picture of her with the plate of pancakes.
"Yes you're just as beautiful as ever." She giggled making me sigh, I missed her so much.
"Mummy, what would you say is going on with Queen and Princess right now?" I hesitated not wanting everyone else to hear it but decided that they probably weren't even listening.
"Well the Queen is away for a bit on important business and the Princess is taking care of the castle until she gets back.
"What about the King? Did he come back?"
"Sorta, the Queen's just still trying to figure it all out. Maybe one day they'll figure everything out."
"And then will they be the royal family and live happily ever after mummy?" I cleared my throat as I felt tears coming.
"You're so smart," I told her and she giggled again, "well I'm going to get some sleep Princess, I promise to call you before you go to bed I love you so much."
"I love you too mummy!" She said and then there was shuffling.
"Hey Brookes, I love you too talk to you later," Jared's voice cut across.
"Love you too Jare bye."