()()()()()()()()
**Thursday**
They'd alternated shifts of resting and monitoring throughout the night. The sun was just rising when Chin noticed someone entering Jax's room.
"Guys. We've got movement."
Danny and Steve were instantly alert at Chin's terse statement. Moving to the surveillance desk, they watched as a young man in scrubs entered the room.
Steve indicated the camera controls. "Kono, can you zoom in on that id badge, please?"
"Sure, boss. Okay, I'm reading Chase Markham, Respiratory Therapy."
"What do you think, Malia? Do you recognize him?" Chin asked.
"No, not at all . . . and those are the wrong color scrubs for respiratory therapy."
The team immediately reached for weapons, and Kono watched the screen in growing alarm as the mousy looking man wedged a chair under the doorknob.
"Boss, he's barricading the door, we need to move. This has to be our guy."
Chin shoved the radio at Malia. "Keep us posted on what he's doing," he said as he rushed from the room. "We've all got earpieces in."
()()()()()()()()
The team had barely reached the stairs when they heard Malia speaking urgently into the microphone. "I'm paging Dr. Bryson and the real respiratory team . . . guys, he just injected something into her IV port – the real one. I'm right behind you."
"Shit," Steve bit out, as he and Danny took off running; Kono and Chin right on their heels.
"We never should have left her in there alone," Danny said.
Steve shot him a stricken look as he threw his weight against the door. It barely budged.
"FIVE-O," he shouted, "open this door!"
There was no response from inside the room. The guy had either panicked or was so truly psychopathic that he was going to attempt to carry out his plan regardless of the heavily armed team just outside.
"Chin, do it," Steve said, indicating Chin's shotgun. "Careful, this door will fragment like shrapnel."
Chin nodded grimly, and efficiently put two rounds through the door, angling downward from the doorknob. The door and chair splintered and gave when Steve and Danny launched themselves against it, Chin and Kono right behind them with their weapons trained into the room. Chin held up a warning hand to Malia, who had arrived, breathless, at the entrance from the staircase.
"Five-O," Danny shouted at the man standing over Jax, his hand hovering over her stomach. "Get your filthy hands off her."
He looked up at them, eyes wild and unfocused. "But her beautiful red hair . . .I must have her for my collection," he said, still holding the half-empty syringe.
"Drop it," Steve ordered, "or I'll put a round straight between your eyes, I swear to God."
"Steve," Malia cautioned from the hallway, "we need him to tell us what he injected into her IV."
Danny and Steve both stepped aggressively toward the crazed man. "Drop it," Danny warned, with an edge of menace in his voice that had Kono glancing at him. She'd never heard Danny sound so absolutely dangerous. It was a little unsettling.
"Please, you don't understand," he began, looking earnestly at Danny. That was all the distraction Steve needed, and he moved in so quickly that the man was disarmed and handcuffed almost before the rest of the team could react.
Danny raised his eyebrows at Steve. Seriously, he'd worked with the man for almost a year, and he suspected that he'd only begun to see what the SEAL was capable of. Steve shrugged and gave the man a shake. "What did you shoot her up with?" Shake. "Tell us." Shake. "Now." Shake.
The man smiled eerily. "She will live forever, you see. All of my beautiful collections will live forever."
Danny shoved his pistol against the man's temple. "What did you give her, you son of a bitch?" he questioned menacingly.
At that moment, several alarms began beeping wildly. Malia shoved her way past Chin and Kono and rushed to Jax's bed.
"She's stopped breathing."
()()()()()()()()
Chin and Kono took Chase Markham back to headquarters with promises that someone would text them as soon as there was word on Jax. Steve and Danny paced in the waiting room. The waiting was unbearable, and they didn't even have a suspect to interrogate to take out their frustration. Markham was clearly too unbalanced to be useful, and they could only hope that it was his own "collection" fueled by his own demented brain, and that he wasn't working for someone else. Chin and Kono were going to have their hands full trying to get any helpful information out of him. Steve and Danny hadn't trusted themselves not to kill him outright and had gladly handed him over to the cousins.
"What is taking so long," Danny groaned in frustration.
"Danny," Steve began hesitantly, "I am so sorry . . . "
Danny sighed. "Just save it, Steve."
"Danny, look, man . . . "
"No, really. I'm not angry with you, Steven. Well, I am, but only in the usual, general sense of the word. Not specifically angry. This was her idea to begin with, she just talked you into it. She's very convincing. And, she's got you wrapped around her finger, I might add." Danny held up a finger as Steve opened his mouth to protest. "Don't deny it. I understand perfectly."
Steve scrubbed his hand down his face. He was exhausted; eyes burning, tense, jacked up on adrenaline and caffeine. Nothing to shoot. Just waiting, not knowing . . . he sighed, looking at the door.
Danny's hand was warm and comforting on his shoulder. "She's a fighter, Steve, we know that already. And she's in good hands."
Dr. Bryson and Malia came through the door and both sat down heavily in the chairs. The rush of adrenaline was over, leaving them feeling as if they had run a marathon.
Danny and Steve practically pounced on them.
"She's okay, guys," Malia began. "We had to turn on the ventilator for real, she's not breathing on her own, but she didn't go more than minute without oxygen."
"She's not breathing on her own? How is that okay?" Danny exclaimed.
"We think she was given a paralytic," Dr. Bryson explained. "It would make sense; it would keep the victims from moving. But her heart rate is strong, so obviously she wasn't given a lethal dose. We think there may have been a minute tear in her lung, probably from a tiny rib fragment that didn't show up on the x-ray. Between that and the drugs, her lungs just couldn't compensate. But," he hastened to add, seeing the alarm on Steve's face, "we think that she will be breathing on her own within the hour. It was safer and more effective to turn on the vent that was already in place, rather than to try resuscitation."
"We have one other problem," Malia continued. "Her white blood cell count is definitely too high. We've cultured both her knife wound and the cut on her foot, and we're waiting for the blood tests to come back, but she's definitely got an infection. We're treating her with broad spectrum antibiotics until we know exactly what we're dealing with."
"She doesn't sound okay," Danny said worriedly.
"Well, her concussion was significant; her lung was slightly damaged; and that was before this undercover operation. We're testing to see what kind of drug she was injected with, and what kind of infection she has. I'm not going to lie, gentleman, the officer is seriously injured and seriously ill. But, we have absolutely no reason to think that she's not going to make a speedy and full recovery," Dr. Bryson explained, "especially now that she's resting and being treated properly." He frowned slightly at Danny and Steve. All medical personnel on the island were familiar with the consequences of the risk-taking group. Most ER doctors knew them by their first names and already had their drug allergies memorized.
Steve and Danny both slumped slightly in their chairs, relief and guilt battling for first place.
"Can we see her?" Steve asked quietly.
"Of course," Malia said, "Hold her hand, talk to her . . . we want to pull her back toward awareness and consciousness as much as possible. She's just on the barest of sedation now. We'll be watching closely to see if she starts fighting the ventilator. It might look scary when that happens, but trust me, it will be a good sign."
()()()()()()()()
Malia had thoughtfully ensured that two comfortable chairs were waiting in Jax's room. Danny slipped in the chair closest to Jax and took her hand in his. He smoothed back the unruly curls over her face and gently rubbed her bruised and bloody knuckles.
"Hey, kid . . . you gotta quit scaring me like this. I am not as young as I used to be. Steve has worn me out with his crazy stunts and I need you to start being a little more sane, got me? But you can start by waking up for us, babe. We're right here; we got the bad guy, the op is over. So you just need to get better."
Steve stood a bit awkwardly by the bed, his eyes drawn to the back of Jax's other hand. Apparently Markham had been reckless at his injection attempt, and while the port had been flushed and removed, it had torn into her vein and now her entire hand was black and blue.
She came here to heal up and she looks so much worse . . . how the hell did I let this happen?
Steve's self-incrimination was interrupted by a knock at the door.
"Malia thought you might need some of the good stuff from the doctor's lounge," a young nurse said, as she entered with steaming cups of coffee.
Danny reached out for the coffee. "Chin needs to marry that woman."
Steve thoughts drifted to Jax and her appreciation for the strong Hawaiian coffee. He had to swallow hard around a sudden tightening of his throat. "Danny, my God, what if . . . "
Danny picked up immediately on Steve's line of thought and quickly interrupted him. "Steven – speedy and full recovery, remember. She's going to be okay. She did not survive training with me and 9/11 only to come let an infection on this pineapple infested island get her down."
Steve chuckled. Inspiration struck, and he began to remove the lid from his coffee.
"What are you doing?"
"I have an idea." Steve held the open, steaming, cup of coffee close to Jax.
Danny chuckled. "Hey, it's worth a try."
They watched intently for any sign of movement from Jax. Steve continued to hold the coffee where Jax could smell it, and Danny continued to talk softly to her.
"Nothing," Steve sighed in disappointment.
"Give it time, partner."
()()()()()()()()
Jax watched in horror as bodies started falling from the buildings. It was incomprehensible, indescribable. The sound . . . Nothing in her training had prepared her for this. She had managed to get a small group of civilians moving away from the towers – they had frozen in fear and the other officers had not been able to convince them to move. Somehow they responded to Jax. She was currently applying a pressure bandage to an NYPD officer who had been struck with a large piece of glass.
"Get me a bus over here," she shouted over the chaos, "This guy needs evac immediately."
"Hang on, buddy, you're going to be okay," she assured the officer. Her hands were slippery with blood. His, others . . . probably some of hers, if the sense of wetness dripping into her eyes was any indication.
She focused intently on applying pressure, deliberately turning her head away from the base of the tower. She couldn't block out the sound, though. Irregular. Unpredictable. But it wasn't stopping.
Thud.
An ambulance stopped to pick up the officer from Jax. The EMT tried to look at the cut over Jax's eye.
"I'm good, I'm good," she insisted,"take him."
Shaking his head, the EMT tossed Jax a handful of gauze pads and a couple of large moist towels. "At least wipe off the blood, and put pressure on that cut."
Thud.
Jax heard the officer behind her gag and retch. "Got any water bottles to spare?" she asked the EMTs.
"Yeah, here,"he responded."Good luck."
Jax nodded grimly. She steeled herself, turned around, and offered a water bottle to the other officer.
"Here," she said gently. "Have some water. I know, this is god-awful. I know."
The officer raised miserable eyes to Jax to take the water, and she saw his eyes widen in panic. Then all she knew was horrific pain and then, blessedly, blackness.
()()()()()()()()
Steve hadn't realized he had fallen asleep holding Jax's hand until he felt the frantic movement beneath his fingers. Coming to full awareness in an instant, he looked for Danny, who was dozing in a chair across the room.
"Danno," he said quietly, indicating Jax's other hand, also moving restlessly against the sheets. He let go of the hand he was holding . . . what is she trying to do?
They watched as Jax frantically moved her hands, clenching and unclenching her fingers.
Danny quickly moved to press the nurse's call button. Alarms started to beep as her heart rate increased. Suddenly, she reached for her throat and they could see her fighting to open her eyes.
Malia rushed into the room and the guys backed up to give her space. Checking the readouts, Malia bent down to speak to Jax. "Jax, you're in the hospital. It's okay. No, don't try to talk just yet, you're on a ventilator but we can take it out, because you're breathing. Give it just a bit of time, okay? I'm turning of the machine so you can breathe on your own. We're going to let you wake up more and then we'll get that tube out, ok? Shhhhh, it's okay. Relax for me, Jax. Good girl." Malia switched off the active ventilator and continued to speak soothingly to Jax.
"She's still very agitated," Malia said to Danny. "Try to get her to settle. She's fighting the ventilator and the sedation."
Steve fought back a sudden sting of moisture in his eyes. He hated this part . . . he'd been through it too many times and he wouldn't wish it on anyone. Watching Jax go through it was agonizing. He had no idea where she was in her head but it couldn't be a good place.
Danny was talking to Jax, soothing her as if she were Gracie after a bad dream. It wasn't working. She was becoming more agitated, still clenching and unclenching her fists, restlessly moving her head from side to side. Her heart was racing dangerously. When she started to reach for the tube in her mouth, Steve decided to try a different approach, desperate to keep her from hurting herself.
"Officer Nolan," he barked sharply, "you need to pull it together. The situation is under control."
Danny looked up in surprise but quickly caught on to Steve's attempt to connect with Jax through the obvious and distressing panic. Steve gently grasped Jax's small hands in his. Her heart rate dropped marginally, although not enough to silence the alarms.
Steve continued to talk to Jax. "Officer Nolan, you're in a hospital; you're injured but stable. You need to stand down and let us handle this."
Jax's respirations and heart rate slowed, but her restless hand movements continued.
Malia returned with Dr. Bryson.
"You're doing great, Steve, try to get her settled," Malia encouraged.
Steve nodded. He reached up and brushed her hair away from her face. "Jax, sweetheart, it's Steve. Danny is here. Can you hear me? Do you remember your signal?"
Jax gave a thumbs up, and Danny and Steve both heaved a sigh of relief. "Okay, good girl," Danny said. "Malia is here to get that tube out of your throat, okay?"
Jax tried to nod but quickly realized that it hurt her throat. She gave a thumbs up.
"She hasn't opened her eyes," Danny whispered to Malia.
"That's okay. She's still coming out of the sedation," Malia explained. "Jax, we're going to pull this tube. I'm going to count to three and then I want you to cough as hard as you can, okay?"
Jax gave a thumbs up, and reached her hand out. Steve grabbed her hand and she held on tight.
"That's it, Jax, we're right here, babe," Danny encouraged.
Malia gave the count and Jax coughed and gagged as the tube was pulled out. "Her lungs are okay," Malia assured them. Dr. Bryson stepped in with a penlight and checked Jax's pupils. She weakly tried to pull away from him. "Pupils look marginally better; definitely no worse."
Malia patted Danny on the arm. "Okay, so medically she is stable. This is good, Danny. We will continue to monitor her heart rate but she's going to come out of this just fine. Just work on calming her; I think this is more the reaction Steve was worried about than anything medical that's going on. I'll send Julia with ice chips; Jax's throat is going to be irritated."
Danny hugged Malia in relief as she and Dr. Bryson left. He collapsed into a chair and watched as Steve continued to talk to Jax. Danny smiled fondly as his partner folded his tall frame over Jax's bed. He watched as Steve repeatedly combed his fingers through her curls and gently stroked her cheek.
Yeah, not brotherly.
Steve thought he saw Jax's eyes flutter, her lashes dark against her pale skin. "Hey, Jax, sweetheart, that's it. Open those beautiful green eyes for me." He watched helplessly as she clenched and unclenched her fists, and rubbed her hands anxiously together. He glanced at Danny, anguish in his eyes.
"Any idea what that is, Danny?"
"No, babe, I wish I knew. This is killing me. This is what it's like sitting by you in the hospital, by the way, Steven. And you wonder why I constantly yell at you to be more careful. It's because of this."
Jax whimpered and Danny swore he could feel Steve's heart clench from across the room.
"Jax," Steve whispered, "It's okay. It's okay . . . open your eyes." He looked up at Danny. "Danno, come here . . . you're more familiar. Talk to her."
Danny came and took Jax's hand. "Hey, rookie. Time to wake up. Open your eyes for me."
Jax stirred and squeezed Danny's hand. "That's right babe, I'm right here, and so is Steve. We did it, we got the bad guy. You're all done, time to wake up. We can take you home."
Finally, Danny caught a glimpse of Jax's eyes peeking out between thick lashes. "D'no?" she murmured weakly.
Steve and Danny both broke into relieved smiles. "Yeah, babe, it's Danno. How you doing? You okay?"
"Get it off me, please," Jax pleaded, her voice cracking and rasping.
"What, babe, what do you need me to get off?" Danny asked.
"All the blood, Danny, get it off me."
Ah, shit. Steve realized that Jax was reliving some very, very bad memories.
"Shhh, there's no blood, babe," Danny said quietly. "That was from a different case. You're in the hospital, you were undercover. There's no blood. You're okay."
"Danny?" Jax rubbed at her throat, her eyes. "Where's Billy? Did he make it out? Did you call him?"
Danny's heart stopped. Steve looked at him, eyebrows raised in question.
"Brother," Danny mouthed silently.
"Danny, is Billy okay? Did you call him?" Jax was struggling to sit up.
"Babe," Danny said gently, "that was years ago. Remember? We lost him when the second tower fell, remember?"
Jax pressed trembling hands over her eyes and nodded sharply. "Yeah. Yeah, Danno, of course. I'm . . . I just . . . " she ground out, brokenly. "Yeah, I remember. Sorry. I'm okay."
Steve brought over the ice chips that the nurse had slipped quietly into the room. "Here," he said quietly, holding a spoonful to Jax's trembling lips. She gratefully allowed him to slip some into her mouth.
"Hey, Super SEAL," she rasped, "we got the guy, right?" She smiled even as she brushed the tears out of her eyes.
"Yeah, Jax, we got him."
Jax sagged in relief onto the pillow. "Good. We did good."
She smiled broadly at the guys, her face lit up in relief and pride. In the next instant, her eyes filled with confusion as alarms began to blare and her heart rate skyrocketed again.
"What the hell?!" Danny exclaimed in alarm.
"Jax," Steve said urgently, "Jax, sweetheart, look at me. I've got you. Okay? I've got you. Help me out with this, Danny," he directed, as he scooped Jax up out of the bed and sat down in the chair, holding her close. Danny swiftly untangled the heart monitor leads and rolled the IV pole over.
"Hand me that blanket, Danny. It's okay, Jax, I've got you. Just ride it out. Breathe."
Danny tucked the blanket around Jax.
Malia came into the room and tilted her head at the unorthodox situation of her patient, but smiled warmly at Steve.
"Adrenaline dump," Steve explained tersely, stroking Jax's hair.
Malia nodded in agreement. "Let me just check her pulse and BP, okay? No, don't move her. I'll work around you." Satisfied that Jax was stable, Malia disconnected everything but the IV.
"We're going to leave this in for the antibiotics and one more bag of fluids, but everything else can go. I trust your judgment as well as any heart monitor at this point, Steve."
Danny sat down in the chair across the room from Steve.
Steve looked at Danny over his armful of shaking Jax. "Is it this bad, Danny?" he asked quietly.
"What do you mean? Oh, you mean when you refuse to stay in the hospital where you belong, and I have to sit by your bed and wait for you to wake up shaking at 2 am, and you don't remember who I am or where you are? Yes, Steven. It's exactly this bad."
"I'm sorry, Danno. And thanks."
"We're good, babe. And you're welcome."
()()()()()()()()
**Friday**
Aside from hanging the final bag of IV antibiotics, Malia left Danny and Steve to take care of Jax in the few remaining hours until dawn.
Chin and Kono were kept updated, and reported back to Steve that they had finally called HPD to transport Markham to the psychiatric wing of the prison. "He's a menace to public safety, for sure," Chin explained, "But he's completely unbalanced. We've given up trying to get anything useful out of him. You need Kono and I to come give you and Danny a break? Malia says Jax has had a rough time of it. Danny holding up okay?"
"Yeah, thanks, we're good," Steve replied wearily, leaning against the wall of the hallway.
"You holding up okay, brah? Teasing aside, it's obvious you've become quite attached. You good?"
"I'm good, Chin. Thanks. Catch up with you later. You and Kono head home, get some rest."
Danny smiled as Jax woke up and rubbed her eyes. "Time'zit?"
"Well, sunshine, it is approaching 9 am. Nice for you to wake up without trying to give one of us a concussion."
"Sorry, Danno. Hey, look," Jax lifted her arm. "No more IV. You know what this means?"
"You are no longer at death's door, just still severely concussed, bruised, and exhausted?"
"No, it means I gotta get up and go pee. And take a shower. And brush my teeth. Hey, go find me some coffee, please?"
()()()()()()()()
Danny leaned against the wall next to Steve.
"What, you just left her in there?" Steve protested.
"Hey, she threatened my life," Danny said, holding his hands up in surrender. "It is remarkably like being in your hospital room, Steven. She insisted on a trip to the bathroom, wouldn't wait for a nurse. I damn sure wasn't going in there with her."
Danny started walking down the hall.
"Where are you going?" Steve demanded.
"Coffee run. I'm bringing coffee back for Jax. I am. Not you. You are not handing her coffee right now because that is too disturbing for me to witness," Danny informed Steve, as he fell in beside him.
"I'm absolutely positive that I can leave, Malia," Jax was adamantly arguing with Malia when the guys returned, coffee in hand.
She did look significantly better. She had managed to shower and get dressed in street clothes in the short time it had taken them to cajole some good coffee from the nurses.
"You can barely stand up, Jax." Malia was pleading her case for Jax to spend another day in the hospital. Steve grinned.
"Oh, what are you smirking at, Commander," Malia huffed in frustration. "It's like trying to get you to stay overnight after a gunshot wound. I swear, I give up on the lot of you. Which of you is going to assume responsibility for my patient?"
"I will," Steve said, looking at Jax, "If that's okay with Jax."
She averted her eyes, pale cheeks tinging slightly pink. "I'm sure I've been quite enough trouble to you. Um, maybe Kono –"
"Kono's place is smaller than this room and unless you plan on sleeping on a surfboard outside, it wouldn't work," Steve explained kindly. "Your stuff is already at my house, and I'm not half bad at taking care of those stitches." He went in for the kill. "Besides, the ocean is right at my back door."
Danny handed Jax her coffee and shot Steve a glare when she gave a sigh of appreciation.
Malia nodded. "Steve is more than capable, if Jax will be cooperative. We did determine that the knife laceration was the source of infection; the IV antibiotics should have it cleared up, but any fever, or increased redness, you let me know, okay? And on Monday, you come back here to get the stitches out."
"I don't think so," Jax shook her head stubbornly. "The cut that the hospital stitched up got infected; the cut that Steve irrigated in his kitchen didn't. I'll take my chances with the SEAL."
Malia chuckled, half frustrated and half amused. Shoving a handful of discharge papers and several prescriptions at Steve, she said, "Here you go, Commander. She's all yours."
Damn straight, Steve's brain offered.
Steve worked very hard to school his features not to reveal the ridiculous thrill of delight that went through him at Malia's words. The look on Danny's face told him that he had failed.
()()()()()()()()
"This is the least you've been in the office since we started, Steve," Danny observed that evening. Jax was dozing in one of the chairs by the water while Steve and Danny cleaned up the minimal mess after dinner from the grill.
"This was a different case, Danny; mostly paperwork and surveillance."
"I'm sorry you didn't get to blow anything up, Super SEAL. So, I'm thinking, tomorrow's Saturday, how about you actually take a weekend like a normal working stiff? I can't think of any other way we're going to convince Jax to rest up. She obviously loves sitting by the water. We have minimal paperwork to deal with to close the case. I could swing by around lunch time. Wait, what am I thinking? You're probably dying to get back in the office. How about I swing by first thing in the morning, I'll stay with Jax , you go in, help Kono and Chin close out the case."
Steve narrowed his eyes at Danny, who looked back at him, the picture of innocence . . . except for that damned twinkle in his eye.
"I've got you, don't I? You're gonna have to admit that you want to spend more time with Jax . . . you'd actually prefer to be here with her than at work. That's definitely a first. I've never seen a woman that could compete with the opportunity to shoot something. You seriously have a thing for her, admit it."
"Okay, yes, Danno. There's . . . something," Steve shrugged and rubbed the back of his neck. "Neither of us have had any sleep. How about we both work from here tomorrow? You sleep in, then swing by the office and grab the paperwork. Whatever Chin and Kono haven't finished, we'll take care of here, send them home."
Danny nodded. "Yeah, sounds like a good idea. And Jax might kill me, but I'm going to put in a call to someone I trust at her precinct. I want to see if we can get some idea of which way this case is going to go."
Steve nodded and started brewing a pot of coffee. Danny threw up his hands in exasperation. "Could you wait until I leave?"
"What? It's just coffee, Danny."
"Yes, and you have quite possibly ruined that for me forever, you Neanderthal. I'm saying good bye to Jax and then I'm going to go spend a few minutes with Gracie while I pretend not to know things that I would rather not know."
"Danny, you know I'm going to be a perfect gentleman. Give me some credit."
"Oh, I know that. I just don't want to be here to witness the goofy smile and the . . . oh, just don't share anything more with me . . . I can't take it. Look, there it is: Smitten Face."
"Sorry Danny," Steve said, trying to look at least a little sorry as he pulled two mugs out of the cabinet. He failed.
()()()()()()()()
Danny gently brushed Jax's hair out of her face. "Hey, kid, I'm heading out. You sure you're okay here?"
"Yeah, Danny, I'm good. I feel like I could sleep for a week."
"Good; that's pretty much the plan from here on out. I can't believe you talked Steve into letting you do this undercover. I can't believe I let either of you talk me into it! You were supposed to be resting up and you're in worse shape than when you got here."
"No way," Jax protested, "I'm positive my shoulder is improving."
"Don't be a smartass. Behave yourself, get some actual rest, okay? No more cooking up crazy schemes with the soldier, got it?"
"Sailor, Danno, sailor. It's the Navy."
Danny groaned. "Not you, too! What is it with you people?"
"Ah, my old man was Navy, remember? I wouldn't dare make that mistake. Besides, everything about Steve puts him in or near the water."
"What do you mean?"
Jax shrugged. "It's the way he moves – as if he's constantly just a little bit surprised that there's not resistance in the air, like there is in the water. He's incredibly balanced, which means he's got sea legs. Haircut that is clearly a combination of ex-military and surfer. Perfectly even tan, which you only get when there's reflection of the sun off the water. I've watched him swim, it's like the water is his natural habitat or something. Oh, and his eyes are the color of the ocean. But that's irrelevant, just a random observation."
Danny stared at Jax.
"What? You taught me basic observation and profiling skills."
"Oh, my dear, that goes way beyond basic observation. His eyes are the color of the ocean?"
"Shut up, Danny. Stupid concussion and drugs. This is why I don't take those pills. Go see Gracie."
Danny laughed as he kissed Jax on the top of the head. "The two of you idiots deserve each other, I swear it."
()()()()()()()()
Steve sat down next to Jax. Her eyes were closed; he wasn't sure if she was asleep or just blocking out the sun. He took advantage of the opportunity to study her. The humidity had once again created a magnificent riot of red curls, but they still did little to hide the bruising on her cheek. She was paler than when she had first arrived, with dark circles under her eyes. All of the bruises had started the inevitable shift from dark purple to an odd green. Although she was dressed in light sweats and her usual oversized t-shirt, Steve could still envision the bruising on her ribs and back that her undercover running gear had revealed. The back of her hand, where Markham had blown her IV, was a brilliant shade of indigo and violet. Steve sighed. I've done a lousy job of taking care of her. Danny should rip my arm off and beat me over the head with it.
"You're thinking too loud," Jax complained, cracking open one eye. "Do I smell coffee?"
"I was hoping the smell would wake you up . . . wasn't sure how else to accomplish that without risking injury and loss of dignity," Steve teased gently.
"Shut up and hand over the coffee, sailor."
"How is it that you always manage to get that right? Danny screws it up all the time. Calls me soldier."
Jax blushed, thinking of her conversation with Danny, and buried her face in her coffee. Steve shook his head at the sight of her bruised hands wrapped around the mug.
"How did I let you talk me in to putting you in undercover?"
"Because it was the perfect op and you know it. No one on your team fit the profile. And it worked, right? We got the guy. Everything else is . . . inconsequential, right?"
Steve launched himself out of his chair. "That's all that matters to you? You don't care about your safety? There's too many things we didn't anticipate, didn't have back up for. Damn it, Jax, I could have gotten you killed and you're sitting there smiling and practically thanking me for it. Do you have absolutely no comprehension of how infinitely –" Steve stopped short. Precious. Valuable. Amazing. Whoa, sailor. His brain continued on while he paced on the sand next to Jax's chair.
"Infinitely stupid?" Jax finished his sentence for him.
"Jax,no," Steve replied. "No, sweetheart, not stupid. Brave, and amazing, and talented. Do you really have no idea how incredible you are?" He crouched in front of her chair, gently rubbing her bruised and battered hands.
Jax swallowed against a sudden lump in her throat and blinked furiously.
"Look at me," Steve commanded, gently cupping her face and looking into her eyes. "You are a remarkable woman, Jacqueline Nolan. I'm not sure what or who has convinced you otherwise."
Jax shrugged. "I guess I'm a good enough cop."
Steve shook his head. "No, Jax. You're more than a good enough cop. I've read your file. You earned that spot on SWAT and every other commendation and position you've been given. You're a gifted cop. I've rarely seen people as committed as you were to this undercover op. You didn't even flinch . . ." Steve paused, remembering how the officer carrying Jax had struck her hand against the gurney. "That bruising didn't just come from the IV, did it? That happened in the ER. You didn't react, not one bit. That is an amazing gift. That's rare. Your willingness to even be there in the first place; what you overcame to put yourself in that position – you're an outstanding cop. But that's not even what I'm talking about, Jax. You are an amazing person. Don't you have anyone in your life who sees that . . .who helps you see that?"
"My brother . . . and Danny," Jax answered quietly.
"Jax," Steve sighed. "I'm so sorry for all you've lost." He gently thumbed away a tear that had escaped despite Jax's best efforts.
"Don't," Jax whispered. She was fighting for control, but pain, exhaustion, and the lingering effects of sedation and drugs were making it almost impossible. "I can hold it together, really. I'm fine."
"Why? Why do you think you need to hold it together, Jax?"
Her confusion was genuine. "Steve, I'm a cop. I'm SWAT . . . or I was supposed to be, anyway. Losing control is not an option."
"Okay, I understand that; I do. Losing control while you're on the job is not an option. But you're more than the job . . . right now, you're an injured off-duty cop, who just came out of a harrowing undercover op. Has it ever occurred to you to cut yourself some slack?"
Jax looked down again, chewing her bottom lip nervously.
Still completely and utterly kissable. Steve's brain continued to offer suggestions without his permission.
Steve sighed. Pushing her wasn't going to get him anywhere, and he was finding it increasingly difficult to resist the urge to tangle his hands in her hair and kiss some sense into her. He settled for brushing her hair out of her eyes and dropping a quick kiss to her forehead. Hey, just like Danny. Very brotherly. Nothing to see here, folks.
"Come on, let's go get that dressing changed, and let me take a look at that foot . . . and now your hands. Danny is going to kill me if I don't do a better job of keeping you in one piece."
()()()()()()()()
They went through the now-familiar routine of dressing changes and coffee in the kitchen. Steve tried to ignore how strangely content the ritual made him feel.
After changing the dressing over her stitches, and gently settling the waistband of her shorts back in place, he brushed his fingers lightly over her t-shirt, where he remembered seeing the scar.
"I, um, noticed the scars when you were wearing the running gear," he said, his fingers gentle and warm. "Did it miss your kidney?"
Jax smiled. Only someone with extensive field medic training would think to ask such a question.
"Yeah, missed the kidney. Nicked my spleen, though," she said, "and they had to take that out. It does make me a little more likely to get an infection."
Steve hesitated; Jax had been through plenty. "This happen on 9/11?" he asked.
"Yeah," she nodded, but didn't offer any additional information.
"You think you'll be okay sleeping?" he asked, as he wound a fresh bandage around her foot and then reached for her hand. He added a layer of gauze around the recently aggravated abrasions on her knuckles. "Malia sent us home with a lot of drugs; at least one is a sleeping pill, I'm sure."
Jax shrugged. "You take those?"
"No," Steve answered. "They don't really help."
"Yeah, they make you sleep alright but the problem is . . . "
"You can't wake up from the nightmares."
Jax nodded slowly, looking intently into Steve's eyes. For a split second, she saw the completely unguarded version of the SEAL; saw the shadow of his own nightmares.
"Oh," Jax breathed out, barely a sigh, as she reached up hesitantly and brushed her fingers gently against Steve's temple . . . as if she could chase away his nightmares with a touch.
Come to think of it, he was pretty damn sure she could.
()()()()()()()()
**Saturday**
Danny hung up the phone and stared at it for a moment in disbelief.
"What's up, brah?" asked Kono, carrying a bakery bag into his office. "Looks like trouble."
Danny sighed. "She left her badge on her sergeant's desk."
"Jax?" Kono asked. "What, you think she doesn't intend to go back?"
"Sounds like it. She's going to be cleared of all of the asinine, ridiculous, ludicrous charges. They're going to ask her to come back – they want her at SWAT. And she left her badge behind. I don't know what to think, Kono."
"Danny, you know the typical police force isn't like Five-O, right? You were a detective. You had a female partner. It's different. Even with a group of good guys – it's a boy's club, a locker room mentality. I'm not going to invade her privacy but just based on the nature of her injuries . . ." Kono shrugged. "I can guess, Danny, at some reasons why she feels like she can't go back."
"I just can't believe . . . she's been through too much, Kono."
"She seems pretty tough, Danny. I'm sure you trained her well."
"Yeah, and then left her to fend for herself . . . "
Kono shook her head vehemently. "Don't you dare go there, Danny. What I know of Jax so far tells me that she would resent you assuming that she couldn't take care of herself. I know I would. I know, it's hard for you guys to see us in harm's way – don't argue, I see it in your eyes, all three of you – you're not chauvinists but you can't help it; it's part of your DNA, I get that. But don't insult her abilities or her decisions. She – we – chose this life. We know what comes with it."
"Thanks, Kono. What would we do without you to keep us in line, hunh?" Danny grabbed Kono in a quick hug. "I'm sorry we're all such big goofs half the time. You know it's because we just want to keep you safe, right? No matter how badass you are, you and Jax are both like my kid sisters."
"Yeah, I get it Danny. Speaking of kid sisters," she shot Danny a mischievous grin,"how long do you think before Jax and Steve figure out there's some distinctly non-sibling-like chemistry between the two of them?"
Danny smiled at Kono and picked up a stack of files. "Figuring it out? Done deal. Admitting it to each other? Your guess is as good as mine, kid. I'm heading over to Steve's now to finish up this paperwork, close the case. Funny, he somehow wasn't breaking down the door to get to the office today. Could have something to do with his houseguest, maybe? Anyway, you and Chin head on out, claim the rest of the weekend.
Kono laughed. "We'll all get paged if something comes in. Have a good one, Danno."
()()()()()()()()
Danny found Steve in the kitchen, yawning over a cup of coffee.
"Rough night?" he asked, wincing at the dark circles under Steve's eyes.
"Yeah, a little," Steve admitted, "more coffee than sleep, for both of us, I'm afraid. Between nightmares and that rib fracture, she had a rough night. She was a little more comfortable in the recliner . . . I ended up on the sofa. I was afraid she was gonna hurt herself."
Danny looked Steve over for bruises, but didn't see any.
"She didn't hurt me, Danny, if that's what you're worried about."
"Because she was relatively aware, or because your reflexes are fast enough?" Danny asked. Steve's sigh indicated the latter.
Danny sighed. "Okay, this is going to have to stop. I'm staying over tonight and you, Super SEAL, are going to get a full night's sleep."
"Danny," Steve protested, "Rachel –"
Danny cut him off short. "Rachel is going to grow up and behave like a rational adult, and I am going to grow a pair and quit being scared of her shadow. Besides," Danny grinned, "the current living arrangements don't affect Gracie. Unless you don't want Jax to stay here?"
"No, it's great for her to be here. I mean, it's fine. It makes sense. You have Gracie, and Kono's is too small, and Chin is back and forth between his place and Malia's," Steve answered quickly. "She can stay here as long as she needs." Or, you know, indefinitely. Let's just say indefinitely.
"Great, but I'm still staying over tonight. I'll chase away the monsters, you'll get some decent rest. If we were to catch a case today I wouldn't trust you to shoot straight."
"Guys, this is ridiculous. I can't expect . . . this isn't fair to anyone. I'll go to a hotel, okay?"
They hadn't heard Jax wander into the kitchen. She stood a bit uncertainly in the doorway, bruises standing out in sharp relief against her pale skin.
"Absolutely not, Jersey girl, you are going to give us the perfect reason to have a Saturday relaxing like normal folk, and then because tonight is Saturday night and it is not my weekend to have Gracie, I am going to invite myself over for the evening because honestly, it's pathetic, sitting at home alone on a Saturday night. But first," Danny held up a bag with a flourish, "malasadas."
()()()()()()()()
Filling out the paperwork for the most recent case tied Steve's stomach in knots. Reliving the sense of helplessness, reading the hospital reports . . . he realized how close they had come to having the whole thing go very, very sideways.
He signed the very last paper with an angry slash of his pen, and stood up abruptly.
"I'm going for a swim," he announced to no one in particular.
Danny looked up from his file with raised eyebrows. "Go for it, Aquaman. And try to come back in a better mood, would you? I'm sorry you didn't get to shoot anything today."
Steve sighed and looked at the end of the table at Jax, who had fallen asleep with her head on an open file. "Sorry, Danny. It's just . . . "
"I know, babe, I had to sign the same papers you did. Go, you'll feel better after you swim. I'll watch Jax drool on the witness statement."
Steve smiled at the sight of Jax's red curls spread over the stack of papers.
"There's that face again," Danny commented.
"What? I do not have a face, Danny."
"Yep. Smitten face. Clearly."
Steve shook his head. "Okay, fine, Danno. Hey, if you think she's up for it, see if Kono and Chin and Malia want to join us this evening. Tomorrow's Sunday, maybe we can actually have a good evening and a day off for once."
()()()()()()()()
Despite Danny's concerns that Steve would jinx their rare down time, no new cases came in. By the time the sun was setting over the water, the team was winding down with Longboards after their meal.
Kono and Jax had offered to clean up after dinner, and the guys could hear their soft murmur of conversation, punctuated by the occasional laugh, drifting out from the kitchen. It had been a comfortable evening, and Danny was relieved to see Jax smiling and laughing with his ohana.
"Did you call back to NYPD today, Danny?" Steve asked. "What did you find out?"
"Yeah. Apparently, she turned in her badge before she left. I talked to Kono about it . . . she seems to think that maybe Jax just won't want to go back. I haven't talked to Jax yet."
Chin shrugged, nodding his head toward the house. "Seems Hawaii agrees with her. Maybe she'll stay."
Steve tried not to look too hopeful, but if Chin's eyebrows and Danny's knowing chuckle were any indication, he failed. That seemed to be happening a lot, lately.
()()()()()()()()
After Chin and Kono went home, Danny watched as Steve moved through the kitchen in what had obviously become a welcome routine. Coffee, Motrin, first aid kit.
"Cozy," he commented.
"What?"
Danny just shook his head as Jax padded into the kitchen in her usual gym shorts and FDNY t-shirt and headed straight for the coffee pot.
Steve started to hand her the Motrin, and hesitated. "Sure you don't want to try something stronger tonight?"
"No, this is good."
Steve nodded and tossed her the bottle, then turned to grab the first aid kit. Danny caught Jax's wince as she caught the bottle and tried to open it with bruised knuckles.
"Here, kid," he said, taking the bottle and opening it. He silenced her protests, saying, "Look, give me my turn to fuss over you a bit, okay? You still look like shit. Adorable, but shitty nonetheless."
As Steve approached with the gauze and antiseptic cream, Jax felt her eyes prick with a rush of emotion. She looked down, suddenly quite interested in the tile pattern of Steve's kitchen.
"What is it, babe?" Danny questioned, tilting her chin upward so that he could look her in the eyes.
Jax cleared her throat and shook her head. "It was a really, really good evening. I guess . . . it's been a long time, Danno. With Billy gone, when you left New Jersey . . . and I was working all different departments, no partner or team . . . " Jax shrugged, wincing again. Stupid collarbone.
"Jax, babe, I am so sorry," Danny said, hugging her gently and smoothing her curls. "I'm so glad you came."
Jax grabbed the reins of her self-control and forced a grin. "Yeah, who knew? You needed a red-head to bait your latest crazy killer. Good thing I showed up. Okay, Super SEAL, do your thing with these stupid stitches. Two more days, right, and they come out? They're starting to itch."
She turned toward the counter, as usual, so Steve could reach the stitches. He caught Danny's worried glance behind her turned head and nodded, wordlessly communicating their mutual understanding that the defenses Jax had thrown up would need to be addressed . . . but not tonight.
()()()()()()()()
Having shuttled Steve up to bed with firm instructions to close the door and sleep, damn it, Danny settled in on the couch with the remote.
Jax paced around a bit, tired and restless but reluctant to try to sleep.
"Sit. You're making me dizzy. Come here, I'll find some mindless chick flick."
"As if," Jax rolled her eyes, but willingly plopped down on the sofa next to Danny. "How about football?"
"Okay, that's my girl. Let's see what we can find."
There was no football to be found, so they settled on an action movie. Danny noticed Jax struggling to stay awake and gently put his arm around her, pulling her head onto his shoulder.
"Sleep, kid. Just . . . close your eyes. Sleep. I'll be here. I'm sorry, Jax . . . I'm so sorry that I wasn't there for you all these years. I had no idea I'd left you so alone. Let me be here now, okay? Let us all be here for you now."
Danny could feel the tension as Jax struggled against the emotions threatening to overwhelm her again, but she rested her head on his shoulder as he asked. As the ending credits scrolled across the screen, he realized that she had relaxed and fallen asleep. Snagging a pillow, he settled her more comfortably on the sofa and tossed a blanket over both of them, and allowed himself to fall asleep.
()()()()()()()()
If he hadn't been right next to her, Danny would have completely missed the quiet gasp that escaped Jax as she wrenched herself awake from a nightmare. He brushed her hair back from her face gently.
"You okay?"
"Yeah," she croaked out, then launched herself off the sofa and toward the bathroom. Danny sighed as he heard her retching, and went to get a glass of water. He flipped on the coffee maker, assuming sleep was over for the night.
He waited outside the bathroom door until he heard water running, then knocked quietly.
"I'm okay, Danno, go back to sleep."
"I'm sure you're okay, kid, but I'm not going back to sleep. Got you a glass of water."
Jax opened the door and accepted the glass of water, thankful for the cool liquid against her freshly irritated throat.
"Stupid tube, my throat hurts," she complained.
"Hmm, yes, that's the big problem here," Danny said.
"Shut up. I want coffee. And I need to get outside," Jax mumbled, pushing past Danny.
"Okay, coffee is already on. Go. I'll bring you some."
Danny watched with growing alarm as Jax bolted out of the house and headed for the chairs by the water. He noticed that Steve had added a third chair and smiled.
"Getting outside helps," Steve said quietly, as he came into the kitchen. "Makes it easier to breathe."
"Yeah, I get that, "Danny answered. "You're supposed to be sleeping. I've got this."
"I slept enough. Slept better, knowing you were here watching out for her. I'm good."
"Okay, so she's asking for coffee, which I intend to take her. You want to join us?"
"Nah, we won't crowd her. She needs to talk, Danny. Really talk. But not until she's ready."
Danny ran a hand through his hair. "How will I know when she's ready? I'm feeling out of my element here, Steve."
Steve sighed and shook his head. "You won't know, Danny. But when the time is right, she needs to get some of this out of her head. It won't be a magic fix, but it will help."
"Yeah? How do you get the stuff out of your head?"
Steve shrugged. "I talk to you, sometimes. Joe, when it's classified. Grover. People who can actually understand, and not just pretend to understand."
"So those appointments I drove her to . . . "
"Probably useless. I suspect she manipulated them quite easily into signing her back to active duty. Not unusual. I've done it."
Danny stared at Steve, speechless for a moment. "This. This is supposed to make me feel good about being your partner? You admit to lying your way through a psych eval? Unbelievable."
"Danny. Did she try to kill you when she woke up?"
"No."
"Then she's in better shape than many. Relax."
"Relax, he says," Danny muttered as he grabbed a cup of coffee and headed out the door.
()()()()()()()()