Good day, everyone.

First of all, thanks so much for all the lovely reviews, and thanks to every follower and reader. I'm so glad there are still people who like this story, you are lovely. (: And I actually managed to write this chapter within just a few weeks, which is quite the achievement for me. I'll try to keep this up if possible so you don't have to wait as long anymore.

Of course it would be awesome to hear what you think about this chapter as I'm trying to improve my English and my writing in general.

About the story; so far it seems like this is going to be a huge story with a lot of chapters, Sebastian and Ciel are (how else should it be) going to fall in love, but it is going to take some time and things will happen slowly.

I do not at all have the intention to let it seem like love alone can heal someone who suffers from a mental disorder, and I hope none of you feel like it is going in that direction cause it won't. Self hatred, abusive families, eating disorders and self harm are in no way nice and admirable, they are serious problems and should be treated as such. I just want to make this clear before anyone gets the wrong idea about this fic.

With that said, enjoy!

"Have you found her yet?" Sebastian's mother was usually a calm person, thinking things over, trying not to rush and make mistakes. In her job, she had quite some responsibility after all. A therapist couldn't afford to be on the edge of a mental breakdown themselves. However, she was also an oftentimes stressed out individual, scheduling one patient after the other and trying to manage her little family as good as she could.

Some mistakes just couldn't be avoided though. And the same mistake that had happened to her twice in a row now.

She hadn't closed the door properly when she had left the house in a hurry and while nothing seemed to have been stolen, something was missing. One of the young kittens, with its few weeks of life experience, had spontanously decided to take a walk outside. Now the problem, of course, was that neither Sebastian nor his mother had managed to find it in the neighborhood.

"No, I have no idea where she could have disappeared to. And you are sure she is not inside the house somewhere?" Sebastian questioned with a sigh. He rubbed the side of his head with his hand as though it would help him come up with an idea where the kitten might be. They had been searching the area around their house for about two hours now.

"Of course she isn't, I've searched the entire house twice. Maybe she went inside the forest? It's not that far away after all," his mother suggested, not sounding entirely convinced.

"It's not that close either. Where's Claude by the way? He never really helps at all when it comes to the household."

When Sebastian's mother didn't really know what to say, he spoke up.

" How about I go and search the forest while you stay here, ask some neighbors and see whether she decides to come back on her own or not. I've got my cell phone with me, so just call if you find her or anything."

She nodded, understanding.

"Just take care, it'll get dark in a few hours and I'd prefer it if you wouldn't be running around in the forest at night," she smiled gently.

"I'm really not a kid anymore.. Anyway, I'll come back before it gets dark, it's not like I can see at night, and also, I'd much rather know the kitten is safe before having to leave it outside for the night. Who knows what could happen."

With that, he jogged off in the direction of the forest, unsure of where exactly to even look, but determined to find the kitten.

..

On Saturday afternoon, Ciel's father had come home. Disappearing for 5 days, just like that, was not even something that he did often. It had left Ciel being unsure of whether he would even come back at all or not. Therefore, the last days had had a bittersweet feeling to them.

There had been no fights, just silence.

And it had been too silent. Being all alone for a day or two might be acceptable to most, but spending almost an entire week without anyone to talk to, all alone inside your house... Once upon a time Ciel would have been able to enjoy the solitude; to watch movies, read, listen to music. But not now. Now an entire week alone with no one around left him alone with his thoughts.

He had thought about how he had lost everyone. The only friend he had left was Elizabeth, but she only ever visited once a month and for a few hours. He had lost Alois, who had once been his best friend. He had lost his mother, too. Or rather than that, she had given him away for his father to take care of him, which said a lot. Rachel knew Vincent better than anyone, presumably. His tendency to get violent, his constant need for the feeling of power, his inability to deal with problems.

It was not at all hard to figure out how Vincent would treat his son.

But Ciel had long since given up on the hope that one day his mother would suddenly stand in front of the door, begging him to move in with her again. At first, the hope had been there, but with each month that had passed, it had gradually faded, leaving only the bitter feeling of being abandoned where the memory of his mother used to be.

"You sicken me, I can barely believe you're my own son. Look at yourself, do you think it's nice for me to know that practically everyone around stares at you wondering if you're some sort of transvestite? Just fucking cut your hair and wash that awful color out, will you?"

Throwing a nearby plate from the table on the floor in order to prove just how angry he was, Vincent Phantomhive left the kitchen, leaving an emotionless Ciel behind. Having heard words of that sort more than often enough, he barely even showed a reaction anymore.

He decided that it would probably be the best decision to just leave for now, as it is often was. Even his passive act somehow managed to sometimes aggravate his father's mood, but it still was the best decision to put some distance between himself and the older man. But before he even had the possibitly to get away, Vincent was there, standing in front of him again, the height difference making Ciel feel more than inferior to his father.

"You know, Ciel, I have always wished to have a son. I imagined teaching him how to hunt, having a beer with him every once a while, my son coming home with a beautiful girlfriend one day.. But now, look at you. Just tell me how I am supposed to be proud of you in any way."

Ciel mereley stood there,listening to the drunk words than left his father's mouth, hoping that he'd get this over with soon so he could just leave and get outside this house.

"You even chose to stay with your mother when she left, I bet you wouldn't be here if she hadn't abandoned you once she got tired of you. And I must know, she told me just that," he went on, giving a small laugh at his own statement.

Ciel didn't even have it in him to argue with that. It probably was the truth and he briefly wondered whether his father purposely thought of the most painful things he could say to Ciel in order to provoke some sort of reaction.

"I'm so lucky to know by now how much of a whore your mother is, I wouldn't be surprised if you weren't even my own son."

Ciel took a sharp breath.

"Enough," he said, his voice clear but almost inaudible.

"What did you just say?"

"I've said that you should shut up, if you feel shitty that doesn't mean you have to let your anger out on me and insult my mother who had more than enough reasons to leave a crappy husband like you." When the words had left Ciel's mouth, it was already too late. The damage was done, he had once again let his father's insults get the best of him and he had played along in his little game.

When a large fist met his face, he made a mental note not to ever let it get this far again.

But there are only so many times you can remain silent when all you really want to do is to hurt the person who's causing you so much pain.

..

When Ciel finally left the house, he hadn't bothered to put on any make up. His cheek was swollen and red, his nose had bled just a few minutes ago but he had cleaned it as good as possible considering that he had left in a hurry. Today the weather was more than mild and it felt as though summer had spontaneously decided to visiy earlier than usually, but Ciel felt like he was freezing to death. His small body was covered in an oversized grey hoodie. In addition to that, he wore his black jeans and a pair of old leather boots that had been a birthday present once. The was an almost full bottle of whiskey hidden underneath his pullover just for the sake of no one noticing he had jacked his father's alcohol after the man had decided to go and meet some woman from the nearby city, of course driving his car despite being more than a little tipsy. He'd be busy for about five or six hours, within this time, Ciel could leave. Or maybe if his father was going to have an accident, he'd have more time. But he shrugged the thought off, not wanting to sink that low.

Ciel had always told himself that he'd never be like his father.

His detestable habit of drowning all his sorrows in liquor and beer was less than admirable.

But for once, just for this one time, he wanted to feel the comfort only the bottle seemed to be able offer him.

This was the reason why he kept walking straight ahead towards his usual place, making his way through the bushes and noticing that the weeds had grown rather high thanks to the few days of sun they had gotten to enjoy. He looked at the many different flowers and listened to the bird's voices echoing through the forest. It took him about ten minutes until he arrived at the small lake, instantly heading for his usual place.

Searching through his pockets, he sighed as he found that he hadn't only forgotten his father's cigarettes, but also the key to his house. The only thing he could do was stay out here until his father would return. It was going to be a long night.

He took out the bottle, no longer paying any mind to the nature and peace around him, and opened it with some effort. The smell of the hard alcohol hit him in the face like a fist and he could already guess how much his troath was going to burn once he had finished it. But that knowledge didn't stop him from raising the botttle and letting the gold brown alcohol enter his mouth as he started swallowing the liquid.

Ciel instantly decided that he hated this taste, but he kept repeating the process of drinking only a small amount and then waiting a few seconds before he continued.

Within a few minutes, he wasn't quite as cold anymore and there was more than half left still. He rolled up his sleeves and started toying around with a flower that grew right next to him. The flower was a nice mixture between purple and blue and out of boredom, Ciel ripped it off, creating sort of a ring that he put on his finger for only a few seconds before finding the whole thing silly and throwing the ring into the water that seemed a deeper blue than usual since the reflection of the cloudless sky that was beginning to darken was visible in it.

He grabbed the bottle again to down some more alcohol and closed his eyes, barely thinking about anything at all.

When he reopened them, he was more than a little shocked to find a shadow hovering over him, only visible in the reflection inside the water. He spun around hectically, eyeing the person who had allowed themselves to disturb him while being in his own personal place of solitude and calmness. When his eyes traveled up to the face, he made a silent sound of surprise, not silent enough, it seemed though.

"Watch out, I don't want you to fall into the water out of shock. Are you that surprised to see me here?"

Ciel was indeed more than just a little surprised that Sebastian of all people was standing in front of him, looking as though it was completely normal to creep up behind someone and then scare the living shit out of them. With no warning whatsoever.

Feeling slightly awkward due to his sitting and Sebastian's standing position, Ciel managed to stand up on shaky legs, grabbing a old of the tree's thin branches in order to not fall into the water. This was the first time he had actually drunk as much and considering his lithe body, it was no big surprise he couldn't handle that much alcohol, especially without having eaten anything at all that day.

"Well maybe if you wouldn't walk around like a goddamn creep and have fun scaring me shitless, then I wouldn't be as surprised. Normal people say hello, you know?" He argued, sounding angrier than he actually was.

"Well then, hello," Sebastian answered mockingly, looking at the younger boy and trying to figure out just what Ciel was doing here, all alone inside the forest.

"So? What are you doing here? You're not stalking me,are you?" Ciel asked, his voice sounding a bit off and he had trouble standing straight.

"Sorry to disappoint you, but no. I'm actually searching for someone," Sebastian answered after a moment of scanning Ciel throughout. The boy seemed like he was going to fall off the tree any minute and combined with the smell of alcohol that was quite noticeable when Ciel talked, Sebastian could only guess the younger boy had been drinking.. All by himself, inside a forest. How old was Ciel again?

'How odd.'

Not one to hold his thoughts back, Sebastian decided to just ask.

"But I think the better question would be what what you are doing. Not to insult you, but it looks like you are going to fall into the water any second and you small like you just got out of a bar.. It looks a lot like you've been drinking, and not too little if you ask me."

Now, Sebastian was no angel himself. He had already been drunk more than just a few times, but that had been different. He had been out with friends, having fun and maybe drinking a few beers, but he had yet to drink all by himself.. It seemed rather unhealthy, especially for someone Ciel's age.

"No, I haven't. Besides, I'm no child, could you mind your own business?"

Sebastian eyed Ciel skeptically. It was true, he barely even knew the boy and even if he did, it wouldn't be his business. But something about the way Ciel could barely stand straight bothered him. With no one around, anything could happen to the boy. It took him only a glance at the boy's feet to know he'd been lying. There, seemingly hidden behind Ciel, stood an almost empty bottle of whiskey. Whiskey, not beer. If Sebastian drank a whole bottle of that, he feared he would end up comatouse.

"And what's that?" He pointed towards the bottle.

"None of your business," Ciel responded, a bit annoyed with Sebastian's caring behavior by now.

"Oh, but I think it is. Because I'm not leaving you here with that whole bottle. I don't wanna be responsible if you end up in a hospital for alcohol poisoning."

Definitely annoyed now, Ciel prepared himself for an angry answer, silently wondering by now whether he really was a tiny bit too drunk, but he'd die before admitting that.

"I barely even notice anything, why are you always so insistent on helping me?" The 'helping me'part was said in a voice that held a strong sarcastic undertone. Upon finishing his sentence, as if to prove the opposite of what had been said, Ciel's feet lost their hold on the tree and he stumbled forward, Sebastian reacting just in time to catch him with one arm and have him stand again.

"Maybe if you'd stop getting in trouble every single time I see you, I wouldn't need to look after you like that," he answered, voice calm and collected. It was the truth after all, Ciel just seemed to mean trouble.

Ciel was still recovering from the shock of almost falling and, even worse, being caught by Sebastian just like that. His voice had lost its anger and it was replaced by indifference with a hint of sadness. "If you haven't noticed by now, my whole life is a mess so just keep your distance from me, I don't need to be the reason you have to deal with all that trouble and I mean it."

"But this is not some sort of soap opera, you're quite a bit younger than me, not to mention a whole lot smaller and I bet you cannot handle that much alcohol. I don't want to see you drown in the lake or beaten up somewhere in the street, so that's why I refuse to not do anything. I can at least take you home, is that okay with you?"

"Are you even listening? It's not. And I know pretty well how much alcohol I can handle. So thank you, but no, thank you." In order to emphasize his statement, Ciel grabbed the bottle and struggled to open it, drinking a rather large amount in one go and ignoring the burning in his troath.

"Goddamn it, stop behaving like a stubborn child," Sebastian warned him, sounding a bit annoyed now himself. He reached forward to grab the bottle from Ciel's hands, who in turn tried to push him away, completely unaware that they were still both standing on a thick branch hovering over the water. The younger boy was the first one to fall, but out of shock he tried to hold onto the closest thing he could find, which just so happened to be Sebastian's black shirt, leaving the two of them falling straight into the water, some thin branches breaking beneath them.

Once Sebastian had managed to reach the surface of the water, he was still unable to believe what had just happened. The water ice cold and the fact that his clothes seemed to weight ten times as much as usually didn't help. Only after a few moments did he notice the figure struggling to swim to the surface a few meters away from him. Without further thought, he swam over to the other boy, reaching him in just a second or two. He diveddived into the water, grabbing a hold of Ciel and pulling him on his back while swimming in the direction of the tree they had fallen from.

Ciel was coughing loudly, and he had feared that he might drown until he felt himself being lifted on Sebastian's back. Once he dared to open his eyes, he could see the branch right in front of him and a heavily breathing Sebastian right next to him.

"Are you okay?"

Ciel tried to answer, he even opened his mouth, but no word seemed to come out of it. Whether it was the panic, the lack of air or the sudden closeness, he didn't know. He barely managed to nod his head, signaling the other that be was alright. He then wordlessly watched as Sebastian climbed out of the water and reached him a hand. Despite his initial reaction which would have been to reject it, Ciel took the hand.

Sebastian pulled the mess that was Ciel out of the water, having to use quite some strength since Ciel still seemed to be somewhat paralyzed from the sudden coldness of the water and the surprise of having fallen in the first place.

When the both of them were finally on more or less solid ground, there was a short moment of silence as both of them had to catch their breath.

"Ciel? I have a question." The blue haired boy eyed the other, the expression on his face unreadable.

Happy that he was finally able to talk again, he answered with a question, "and what do you want to know?"

"Can you swim?" Sebastian asked, the mask of indifference leaving and turning into an expression of pure amusement.

Ciel didn't answer for a moment.

"No, I can't. So what? I've never been taught how to , there's nothing funny about it."

Sebastian scanned Ciel thoroughly, the way he looked like a kitten that had been forced to take a bath and the way he looked entirely unamused while voicing this were just too much. He couldn't hold back the laughter at the absurd situation they were in any longer.

Ciel's eyes widened. He had expected a lot but not this sudden outburst of laughter.

"Stop it," he said, barely able to hold back a small smile of his own, "it's not funny."

Ciel's cheeks looked slightly flushed by now, making Sebastian wonder what kind of person was actually hidden beneath that mask of indifference and sadness Ciel always seemed to wear.

When he was finished laughing, he caught his breath. "I think we should probably both get home and change into some dry clothes. Especially when you're drunk you should really pay attention to staying warm, otherwise you might easily get sick." He eyed the sky,noticing how the sun had began to set. It really was getting colder.

Ciel eyed Sebastian for a moment before turning away.

"You can leave already, I'm just going to stay here a little longer and wait for those to dry," he said, pointing to his clothes. The alcohol in his system was still quite noticeable to Sebastian as his speech was slightly slurred and it didn't hold the same undertone it usually did.

He sighed. Why did the boy always have to argue even when Sebastian's suggestions were more than logical and reasonable?

"It's going to take hours for those to dry, also the sun is beginning to set and it's getting cooler. And in case you haven't noticed yet, you're shivering and your lips look blue."

Ciel couldn't argue with that, but neither did he want to explain the complicated situation with the house key and having to wait for his father.

Eventually, he started, "I can't go home yet, no one's home and I forgot my keys, so I just have to wait a few hours, it's not that much of a deal, really."

Sebastian looked at Ciel as if to say, 'are you kidding me?' He then took a hold of the boys arm, urging him to stand up and come along. Halfway into the process, Ciel protested slightly but uselessly, hissing at the sudden touch. He finally managed to stand on his own, rubbing his arm and looking Sebastian right into the eyes.

"What are you doing?" He asked, honestly not understanding where this whole thing was going.

"Obviously, you're coming with me. I'm going to get you some dry clothes and a blanket or something and then you can wait there until your family gets home. Sounds okay?"

Ciel would have protested, but with the effect of the alcohol and the way he was freezing, a set of warm clothes just seemed too wonderful to refuse. He kept trotting alongside Sebastian who practically had to pull Ciel so he didn't fall over his own two feet. Within the few minutes they had walked, it had gotten noticeably darker outside. Ciel had at some point started informing Sebastian about all the reasons he hated water, from how he hated it because he was unable to swim, to animals inside it, and the fact that it was almost always too cold for him. Sebastian had tried his best not to laugh about the younger one's behavior that once again showed that Ciel really was quite a bit drunk. There had been about fivty grammar mistakes hidden within his story, and at some point he had been thinking with so concentration about another reason that he had forgotten to walk and simply fallen to the ground like a bag of flour.

Just as they exited the forest, Ciel suddenly stopped again. Sebastian turned around and found that Ciel was staring him right in the eye, deep blue eyes full of some unknown emotion. Sebastian noticed the black shadows underneath them.

"Sebastian?"

"What's up?"

"I.. Just.. You're always being so nice to me and you barely know me... No one does that, not one person. Being nice, I mean. I just... I wanted to thank you," he confessed, embarrassment clear on the pale face and Sebastian could swear that despite the darkness, he could see the way Ciel's cheeks had turned red almost instantly.

He didn't know what to say. This was a first. If anything, he'd deal with people asking him how he could be so mean. Like one time he had made out with two girls just so they'd be getting into a fight because he could stand neither of the two. He had made people look bad in front of others and had destroyed their friendships or their self confidence with his friends. Just for fun...and now, Ciel Phantomhive, a boy so easily breakable, so unused to kindness and so sad to the very core, stood in front of him and thanked him. Of course, he might just be the kind of drunk person who'd always feel the need to apologize and to thank others, Sebastian didn't know. But it still felt like he meant it.

"It's.. " he really didn't know how to react. "It's nothing, just forget about it." Ciel continued to look at him for about two seconds, then he turned away, looking forwards to where they were heading. When they walked through the fields, he almost tripped once more, causing him to hold onto Sebastian's arm for suppor. They spent the last minutes of their walk quietly,neither saying even one word.

As they entered Sebastian's neighborhood, Ciel began feeling a bit dizzy, but he tried to concentrate as best as he could on his surroundings. He wondered what Sebastian's house would look like, how his family was, and how they'd react to Sebastian bringing some completely soaked stranger home.

Sebastian was wondering exaclty the same thing. He almost never brought people home, if anything at all, his best friends might have been over a few times, but he had always liked to keep his home to himself. Now, what was his mother going to say once she saw he had someone with him? Before he could think it all through, they were standing in front of the main door and he had knocked a few times, footsteps already reaching the door.

As expected, his mother opened it, ready to greet her son when she noticed two things. For one, Sebastian was completely wet. His usually messy hair looked way more out of order than everyday, his clothes sticking to his body. The second thing was the extremely thin and tiny boy clinging to her son's arm.

Suddenly, she grinned to herself, pretty sure she figured out just who it was that Sebastian oh so suddenly cared about.

"Hey you two, what happened?" She exclaimed, considering it more fitting than instantly interviewing Sebastian just who this was.

"It's kind of a long story, we sort of... Fell into a lake out of accident," Sebastian explained.

"And just who exactly are you?" She turned to Ciel, no longer able to hide her curiosity.

He put on a friendly smile, and for the first time Sebastian could really see a bright smile on the boys face. He then shook her hand, attempting his best to appear sober. "My name is Ciel Phantomhive," he introduced himself.

"Mom, I need to get some dry clothes for him and he might need to stay here for the evening, is that okay?"

She smiled brightly, eyeing the two of them, "of course it is, he's also welcome to sleep here if he wants to... And if you want him to," she invited Ciel, giving a wink to Sebastian, who stared at her in shock for a second upon realizing what she was implying. His mother had always been overly acceping and tolerant, of course she'd assume something like this instantly if he brought home a guy as... feminine looking like Ciel. He made a mental note to smack his mother on the head later, letting his eyes travel over to Ciel and check whether he had noticed anything.

The latter just looked

at the two in confusion, his drunken mind oblivious to the silent exchange that had just happened between mother and her son.