Chapter Four: Waking Up

Beep….Beep…. Beep…..

Ugh, I wish that noise would stop. The steady beeping waking me up from my fog induced state. I reached out to turn the alarm off, but my arm felt funny. I tried to open my eyes, but the light was too bright. I tried to sit up, but my head felt too heavy. Every movement took what felt like an enormous effort.

"Isabella? Isabella, baby?" I could hear my Mom's voice somewhere close to me. I tried to open my eyes again to look for her. "Baby, let me turn off the light, hold on." I could sense that the light was off, and tried opening my eyes again. I felt my mother grab my hand and I turned towards her. Her eyes were red rimmed and watery.

"What's wrong, mom?" I asked. My voice was gravely, and my throat parched. I needed a sip of water.

"Oh, my baby, you're awake."

"Where am I?" I asked looking around the room seeing white walls, an IV drip, and some flowers on the window ledge. I recognized the hospital, but needed to hear it from her.

"You are in the hospital honey."

"What happened to me?"

"I came home from the cruise, and found you in the backyard." I saw fresh tears were streaming down her face before she turned away from me. She took a moment to compose herself, and turned back to me. "Do you remember anything that happened, Iz?"

Like a dam that burst, memories started flooding my brain. Gabriella's dead body, James' evil smirk, him biting me, touching me. I started to sob and shake uncontrollably. I looked down and saw white bandages up both my arms. I pulled the blanket back to look at my legs; I could see the end of some bandages that were on the inside of my knees and thighs. My head hurt, and my body was achy.

My mom sat on the edge of the bed and pulled me towards her. "I am so sorry baby. I wish I could take away this pain. Hell, I wish we would have stayed home, and never gone on that stupid vacation. Then maybe you wouldn't be suffering now." I cried in her arms, and she cried silently while holding me.

After many moments, a nurse walked in to check on me and to take my vital signs. "Everything looks good dear. You've been out for a couple days; would you like some ice or water?" I nodded and looked at my mom.

"How long have I been out, mom?"

"A few days like the nurse said. Iz, do you remember what happened?"

I nodded at my mom. "Gabriella is dead isn't she?"

"I'm sorry, baby. We found her with you in the backyard, but she was already gone." I grimaced hearing the words out loud. My sweet, dear, friend was dead because of me. She was gone because James went absolutely mad. James…. He bit Gabs, he drank her blood, he violated me, and he was going to kill me. He disappeared in front of my eyes. How do I explain that to anyone? No one would believe that he drank blood. I am not sure I would have believed if it hadn't happened right in front of me.

My mom cleared her throat and brought me back to the present. "When I found you, I called 911 and they brought you here. You had a concussion and were dehydrated. You have some wounds on your arms and legs. The doctor thought a desert animal attacked you while you were out." My mom looked down and closed her eyes. I could tell she was struggling with something, and as much as I didn't want to know, I had to ask her.

"What else, Mom?"

She looked up at me, and her tears were falling even harder. "The doctors saw evidence of sexual trauma, Iz. They ended up giving you an internal exam. They saw bruising and some tearing. I hate to bring this up, or to even think it. It appears that you were raped." She squeezed my hand after that, and tried to give me a reassuring smile.

I wasn't sure what to say because although James didn't rape me, he still violated me. He still did some damage. I sure as hell didn't want to give any details to my mom. I just nodded and tried to lie back down in the bed, effectively dismissing her. "Can I have a few minutes alone, Mom? I just need to think and get some rest."

"Sure honey, take all the time you need. I'll go grab something to eat, and come back in a bit. I love you." I watched her walk out the door, sniffling along the way. I didn't want to send her away, but I was feeling overwhelmed. Flashbacks of that night, and the things that happened were so vivid swimming around in my head. I brought the blanket up around my shoulders, and curled up with my legs into my chest. I couldn't stop the tears, and embraced the pain the best I could.

~~~ETS~~~

I woke up still curled in my little ball. I had cried myself to sleep, and now my eyes felt like they were glued shut. I reached out to rub the grit out of the way, and stretched a bit. I looked over and saw my mom sleeping in a reclining chair in the corner. I felt bad pushing her out of here earlier, but my emotions were getting the best of me. I didn't want her to see me too upset. She's hurting enough as it is.

I looked towards the window and saw the vivid colors of sunset. It was twilight, and another night was just beginning. I couldn't help but wonder would happen now. As I watched the colors fade from the sky, my heavy eyes closed once again.

~~~ETS~~~

I woke up a week ago, and so far it's been the longest week of my life. I'm now at home in some yoga pants, and an oversized hoody remembering the visit I got from the police while I was still in the hospital. I told them what they wanted to know, for the most part. I did tell them who attacked me; I figured it would help them catch James, if he was still hanging around. I know what I saw, but my mind was still trying to come to terms with it. I watched James go up in ashes, but you never know. It's not like there is an A-Z guide on vampires that I can check out of the library.

I can't talk to anyone about it. That's the most frustrating part. Everyone would think that I was crazy and plain out of my mind. How do you explain seeing someone with red eyes, drinking blood, and moving super-fast? Hell, It seems crazy even to me. Gabrielle would have listened though, and tried to talk some sense into me. That thought made me smile, before remembering how and why she died.

Not only have I lost her, but I feel like I have lost her parents as well. They came to see me yesterday, to let me know that they are packing up to leave Phoenix; they said there were too many memories here that would remind them of their lost daughter. Gabriella was cremated and her parents had a small memorial service for her while I was in the hospital. They gave me a few of her favorite hoodies, pictures, books, and some other small things. They knew Gabriella and I considered ourselves sisters, and wanted to make sure that I had some of her things to remember her by.

My mom took some vacation time from work to stay at home with me. She was hovering, and watched me like a hawk. I felt like she was just waiting for me to break down. She kept asking me if I was ok, and would offer over and over to get me something. She did not call my dad while I was in the hospital, and I am still not sure why. Her reasoning was that I had endured a painful attack and she wasn't sure I'd want my dad to know.

I wonder if my mom is ashamed of me now. I don't like thinking that, but besides that first day in the hospital, she hasn't touched me since. Her guilt seems to be leading her and she doesn't believe me when I tell her it's not her fault, and that I'm ok.

My dad and I have always been close. I would love his comfort right about now, to feel his arms and call me his "Bells". I was always Bella or Bell to my dad, and that name sounded like music to my ears. Izzy was my mom's nickname for me, and now I cringe when I hear it. I keep hearing the way James said my name, the inflection in his tone, and the sickly sweet sound of his voice. Hearing my mom call me Izzy made me nauseous.

My parents divorced when I was very young, because my mom didn't want to be tied down in Forks, WA. She hated small town life, and craved the type of excitement that can be found in a larger city. We moved around for a few years before making Phoenix home. My dad served on the police force and moved up to Chief of Police quickly. He eventually decided that he needed a change and started working for the National Park Service, and is one of the Regional Directors for the Pacific Northwest.

I visited my dad every summer. Due to his job, and his love for the great outdoors, we have gone to a different national park every year for vacation. This was our time, and even though I loved my life in Phoenix, it was harder each year to say bye when the trip was over. I love my mom and Phil, but missed Gabs too much to ever stay full time. My dad also had a beautiful home just outside of Forks that overlooked the Sol Duc River.

I wanted to call him, but was worried about this reaction. Would he blame me, or think I did something to make James target me. I wonder if I'll still be his little Bells. Will he still love me after he finds out what happened?

I heard the doorbell chime, and waited for my mom to get it. Many of her friends and neighbors were dropping by to bring food and comfort. Almost like I am dead and they're hosting a repast. I had no intentions of getting trapped in those conversations. I heard some commotion out in the hall way and a loud voice asking where I was.

I stood and waited as the footsteps came closer.

"Bells! Sweetheart, where are you?" I heard the voice getting closer. I looked up as the door opened, and my dad stood before me. He just looked at me for a few moments and held his arms open for me.

"Dad!" I said as I flung myself in his arms.