Chapter 4: And that's how Equestria was fucked!
BOOM! as the president was on his way to the convoy, the presidential limo blew up to which the secret service came running to protect the president as they all formed a circle around the president but as they started making way through the crowd they all started to get shot and since they were a lot of people, they didn't knew who was shooting and who was running, the president now alert started to crouch thought the crowd as the secret service all got shot one by one without knowing that they were dying protecting a decoy. As the president got out of harm's way, he got out of the crowd he saw a guy wearing a stag outfit which was funny since one of the first things he did when he entered the white house was to disband that group, he then knew that they were responsible for the attack so without thinking he punched the guard in the crotch and took his gun shooting him in the process, meanwhile another stag agent saw what the president did and aimed his gun at him in that moment right before he got to pull the trigger his neck got snapped like a twig by a big muscular giant who we all know as Oleg, standing right next to him was the mane six group who when the shootout started where in the audience and where so frightened that they didn't move (not even Rainbow Dash was dumb enough to be a hero and get shot), when Oleg saw that those stag bastards where aiming their guns at civilians he started attacking without mercy. "Da fuq! That's cheating you assholes!" said the boss as he saw that those stag operatives where using tanks and jets to attack the guards and civilians so he did what every leader does in that situation (or rather what a 3rd street saint would do!), he joined the fight against those stag bastards, as he shot down a few jets and blew up some tanks he realized that those bastards where out numbering them so he went with plan B: retreat! "Hey Principal Trolestia! (he said to the principal who was trying to get every student to safety) Do you have any school buses that we can escape in?" he said to the principal, to which the principal answer (ignoring that the president called her a wrong name) "Yes there in the parking lot why?" asked the principal knowing that the president was planning one of his famous escape plans, "Do you think you can take your students there?" asked the president, "Well I can try!" said the principal who knew that some of the students ran away while the shooting started, "Then what the fuck are you waiting for a fucking invitation!" said the president while shooting at a stag vehicle, meanwhile back at Oleg he saw that there were some stag operatives who were coming his way, "You there freze!" said an stag agent, "Make me!" said the Russian body builder he then saw that one of the operatives threw a grenade at a group of 3 little girls. He quickly ran and grabbed the 3 girls who were paralyzed from the shock as he shielded them from the explosion Twilight remembered Apple Jack yelling and Rarity fainting as the smoke faded, they all were relieved that the 3 little girls where ok, also the big guy who saved them was ok, he only got his suit toured off showing his family jewels in the process as he got up, he grabbed a piece of debris and threw it at the stag operatives, as he turned to see if the little girls where ok, he then noticed they were trying not to look at his junk "It ok to look, the human body it a natural thing and I'm not insecure so go ahead stare!" the girls including the mane six blushed even harder to his response (the only one who stared at his genitals was vice principal Luna and the lunch lady (who we all know as Granny Smith)), when Apple Jack noticed her grandma was staring at his junk she said to her "Darnit Granny stop looking at that fellers junk! You got to give example to your youngest granddaughter!" to which Granny Smith said: "Darlin when you're as old as me, every time you have the opportunity to see a slong you've got to take it!" everybody then face palmed at the same time. At that time they all heard a horn which they all knew too well, it was the school bus! As it got closer a wounded stag soldier managed to stand up and aim it gun at Twilight she saw that and just as her life started to flash in her mind the bus road killed the bastard, then the bus stop in front of them and opened the door "Who needs a ride the fuck out of here!" said the bus driver who happened to be the president, "Students get inside the bus now it's an order" the vice principal said as she got inside the bus, she didn't had to repeat herself since everybody was inside as she said that. "Ok what know?" asked Rainbow Dash, as she noticed that all of the students that where inside where frightened and or crying "Well do any of you little kids know how to shoot a rifle?" asked the president, "No! it's not like we all were raised in a getto like you" said Rarity in an annoyed tone, right there the bus stopped and he turned around and looked at Rarity "Da fuq you said Puta!" said the president looking at Rarity and the rest of the mane six, "I'm not moving till I hear a fuckeng apology" said the president as he started to put hit feet in the school bus dash, "Come on Rarity say you're sorry to the president!" said Pinkie Pie in a anxious tone, "Please the Great and Powerful Trixie is too Great and Powerful to die!" said Trixie a light blue with white hair teenage girl to Rarity "Fine! I'm sorry Mr. President" she said to the latino driver in an annoyed tone ""Good! Throw in a date with your vice principal and you've got yourself a deal!" said the president with an evil grin in his face, "What I can't do that!" said the teenager to the greatest powerful figure in the free world "Ok then I guess we will die then!" said the boss to the teenage girl and her friends, "Ok fine I'll get you the date!" said the purple haired woman, "Good!" and with that the president turned on the bus and floored it. As they were almost out of the danger zone a road block was infront of them, "Well kids its either them or us so grab a goddam gun and start shooting!" there were only 15 guns and there where and like 45 kids. So the boss grabbed the ones that looked like the strongest ones (all the basketball players, who were like 12 Rainbow Dash, Principal Celestia and Vice Principal Luna) and he gave them instructions on how to use the guns, "…And that's how you use a gun! Any questions?" there was a rough silence. "Good! Now follow my lead!" as they were getting ready to attack they all noticed that the stag operatives. "Well! I think we arrived just in time for the party to the party!" said Rainbow Dash, as they all started to plan how to attack the boss had a great idea "I suggest we use the decoy tactic and I got the perfect voluntears!" said the boss while looking at the mane six (especially Rarity), Rarity noticing he was looking at them said: "You actually think we will do that! You must be ether still high or an Ingnorant to think we will do that!", "Congratulations you've just volunteered!" said the president "But…" Said Fluttershy and Apple Jack at the same time who were then cut off by the president, "Good to know you two wanted to join in!", "By all respect Mr. President I don't think sending 3 teenage girls to be a group of terrorist target practice is not constitutional! I mean what happened to the bill of rights and the constitution?" said Twilight Sparkle to the president (she knew about that stuff because remember she was sleeping in the school library, so yea a lot of free time!), he then looked back at her and said "Are you trying to tell me how to run my fucking country? What you think you can Rule better than me? Well I'm gonna tell you something princess: fuck you, fuck them (pointing at Rarity, and the others), and…" right as he was about to say the last thing a big booming sound and shouts where coming from the stag barricade, "'bout fuckeng time!" said the boss as he saw the military reinforcements and some group of his friends killing those stag bastards, Twilight was so in shock to have seen such an event that had forgotten about it since her return to Equestria.(End of the flashback bitchez!)
Back at the present:
"… and that's why I'm afraid of those humans!" said the princess as she felt like she lifted a big weight of her shoulders, she then noticed that Dr. Zoloft was sleep, "DR. WAKEUP!" shouted the princess as he woke up, "Wha..?" said the Dr. as he noticed he was in session and fell asleep "This is embarrassing!...ummm!...You won't tell anypony won't you?" he said in an awkward tone. "Well…" As she was about to answer a big booming sound interrupted her, she thought it was Rainbow Dash doing one of her famous double rainbooms, but then as she regained her hearing a much more stronger booming sound this time accompanied with an earthquake and a crashing sound make her noticed that it was not a double rainboom as she anticipated. When she went outside she was shocked to see that the boom was actually made by a weapon, a weapon that she all knew too well, a human weapon! She quickly rushed to the scene as she saw that Lyra was reaching to what looked to be a round metal object and just as she saw a flash of light around Lyra she quicky started a protection spell around herself and Lyra, and then yelled to the mint colored unicorn: "Do not touch the hostile!".