A/n I have written some of this chapter from Ginny's POV because I felt I needed to cover some things which Lily would not have been there for. Hope you like it!

Pilks xxx

Lily's POV

A squib.

That was my problem? Why I was in hospital in the first place?

You might just as well have replaced "squib" with "freak", "weirdo", what difference did it make?

I would never go to Hogwarts. I would never learn my first spell. I would never own a wand. I would never get to fly a broomstick. I'd never been that keen on Quidditch but it was still something that would never be a part of my life.

All these things were now completely shut off from me. So many memories that I had planned on making were now impossible.

I wanted to cry, scream, howl. I was distraught, hysterical. In a way I felt like I was grieving for the loss of the life I had wanted so badly, even though it had never been destined to be mine. But I also felt empty. It was if all my emotions were just too much so the only way I could contain them was by not acknowledging them at all. I thought I had ached all over when I had first woken up but I'd been wrong. I really, truly, completely ached now. It was cliché but my heart hurt most of all. It felt betrayed, broken, wrecked and I could do nothing to change it.

As I sat thinking, a small glimmer of hope appeared. Healer Daboo had said that I might be a squib. Might. That had to mean it wasn't definite and so maybe I wasn't? Maybe I was a witch after all, maybe I was how I should be.

Somehow though, deep down, and I still cannot explain why, I knew Healer Daboo was right, I was a squib. I think I knew because subconsciously I realised that I had discovered my true self, however much I hated who that had turned out to be.

Questions were continually whirling round my head. I couldn't answer any of them and had no idea how any of them would be resolved.

What was I going to do about schooling now? How would I relate to any of my family? How would I relate to the Muggle children I would no doubt be spending time with now?

The sound of the door opening made me jump and I turned to see Healer Daboo and my parents entering the room. All of them looked solemn and almost pitying. I just couldn't bear it.

"I know." I said flatly.

"Know about what Lily dear?" Mum was trying to be kind but I didn't care.

"That I'm a squib. The door wasn't shut properly. I heard everything." I spoke in short statements as my brain wasn't functioning fast enough to allow anything more complex.

Healer Daboo looked worried and said soothingly,

"Now Lily it isn't definite. I'm going to take some blood now, which will be a little painful, and it will be sent to the labs to be tested. The results of the tests will tell us all for sure how everything stands."

"I don't care what your stupid tests say. I know you're right. I am a squib. But go ahead, do them anyway." I saw Mum and Dad exchange anxious glances and Dad put his hand on my arm and said,

"Lily there's no need to be so rude to Healer Daboo; she's just trying to help. Come on, we'll get through this. You need to be a big girl about this, mature."

This did it. The floodgates that had been holding in all my anger, resentment and fury broke. I stood up in my bed and screamed at the three adults who were all looking with looks of shock on their faces.

"MATURE! MATURE! YOU WANT ME TO ACT "MATURE"! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT THIS IS LIKE FOR ME? NO! YOU CAN'T! EVERYTHING'S RUINED! I'VE JUST LOST EVERYTHING IN ONE GO AND YOU'RE TELLING ME TO BE MATURE!" The tears were pouring down my face as I continued to rage at the three people I now hated most in the world. "NOTHING WILL EVER BE THE SAME FOR ME! I CAN'T EVER DO THE THINGS I WANTED! YOU'LL NEVER UNDERSTAND SO DON'T EVEN PRETEND TO! JUST LEAVE ME ALONE I WANT NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU!"

With this Healer Daboo did back out of the room to give us time but my parents just stood there staring at me, unmoving.

"We're not leaving Lily. We're going to support you through all of this. We may not be able to understand how you're feeling but we can try and we're going to help you in any way that we can."

"First you need to relax so that we can talk about this. You've had a big shock but the Healer does need to take your blood so that the diagnosis can be confirmed. Healer Daboo can also give you a sleeping draft to help calm you down."

They both sounded so relaxed and rational but I still wasn't in the mood to talk. So I jumped down and heavily landed on the bed. I lay on my side so that my back was turned to my parents. Then I closed my eyes and pretended to sleep so that they couldn't talk to me anymore. Eventually they did leave the room and Healer Daboo quietly entered. She gently told me what to do so that she could take some of my blood and once she had performed her task she left me in my room so that I could cry myself to sleep alone.

Ginny's POV

It was awful for me, seeing Lily in that state. I could see how deep she was hurting, especially in her eyes. She was in emotional agony and I couldn't stand it. I wanted to break down in tears myself but I wanted to remain strong for her too. That was something the war all those years ago had taught me, how to be there for others, how to be tough so that you were a shoulder for someone else to cry on.

When we were outside the room I turned to Harry and could tell that he was feeling the same emotions as me. His green eyes were just as expressive as his daughter's brown ones.

"What are we going to do Harry?" My voice was barely a whisper and I was shaking as I spoke.

"I don't know Ginny but we'll work something out. We always do." He pulled me in to a hug and I buried my face in his jumper as I didn't want him to see the few tears that were trickling down my face. He, as usual, wasn't fooled. "Come on Ginny. She's a tough little girl and she can get through this. We all can."

"But it's such a lot to deal with and she particularly, out of all the family, had such ambitions for her future. I mean since she could talked she's babbled on and on about how she would be a Ravenclaw, Head Girl, a straight O student and that then she would go on and dazzle the wizarding community with her wit and brains. She can't do that anymore!"

"I know she can't but she can still be amazingly clever, succeed. It just might not be as she expected. She'll find new goals and dreams - she's so driven. She always reminded me of a cuter, female version of Percy in that respect!" I giggled slightly at this but then an awful thought struck me.

"Harry, do you think we've caused this in any way? I mean Healer Daboo mentioned pregnancy issues? Are we responsible at all? We did give her the potions kit what if that…" I shuddered I couldn't even think it, let alone say it. The idea that Harry and I had caused the pain Lily was currently feeling was too dreadful to contemplate.

"No Ginny. We're not to blame. Lily's reaction to the kit was not because of the kit but because of her opposition to magic. You can't blame yourself." He held me close and we fell silent. A little while later I pulled away and sat down in one of the awful orange plastic chairs and asked,

"What are we going to do about the family? I mean Dad knows but he's promised not to tell anyone. Should we get him to make an announcement or should we or…?" If I'm honest I had no idea how to handle the situation and didn't even know where to begin. Thank goodness Harry is so level headed in a crisis; I can always rely on him to think logically through a problem.

"No." Harry said firmly, "we need to discuss all this with Lily. She may only be 8 but she is mature for her age and this is obviously her problem. We can't go behind her back and make decisions without her, it isn't fair."

"You're right," I agreed.

"Should we go back in now?" Harry asked tentatively and I understood how he felt. Neither of us wanted to pressurise Lily as she was under enough stress as it was but the issue had to be dealt with, and fast.

"I'm not sure…Why don't we go get her something to eat and drink then we'll go in. She hasn't eaten since the Burrow Birthday Dinner."

"Good idea. I'll go and you wait here in case anything happens."

"Alright." Harry bent down, kissed me on the cheek and hurried off to the top floor. I sighed heavily and leant the back of my head against the wall. I felt exhausted, emotionally drained. I closed my eyes and waited for Harry to return while praying that Lily would be in a more co-operative mood. I couldn't be sure though for when it came to her temper Lily was as bad as me. We can hold grudges for ages. For the moment, though, there was nothing I could do so I just sat there and hoped everything would turn out alright.

Lily's POV

As I lay on my bed I saw the door being slowly opened. There was a soft knock as well but I didn't bother to respond. Everything still felt too raw. I might be ready to talk about…it; however, I didn't know how to handle the situation so I decided just to not touch the conversation without prompting. I didn't want to fight with my parents, not really.

Mum's head popped around the door and as she saw that I wasn't about to yell at her and so she slowly entered the room. Dad followed her in and my mouth watered and stomach ached as I see the bowl of pasta with tomato sauce and the plate of chocolate fudge cake with whipped cream he'd brought with him. He'd even treated me to a huge hot chocolate with every topping you could think of. I was really touched by the thought he'd put in to what to get me and so I took the tray from him but I still didn't speak.

Both Mum and Dad took a chair, one on either side. They moved hesitantly as if they didn't know how to act around me. This made me feel worse; I mean we're usually such a close family. We all get on so well. I was glad when Dad leant over, took my hand and began to talk,

"Lily, we're really sorry about earlier. You're right, we can't understand what you're going through but we do have some sort of idea what you've lost. You do have to accept that you need to apologise to Healer Daboo, you were incredibly rude and it isn't her fault." I nodded my head slightly, just enough so he could see. I was looking into his eyes now and feeling pierced by the sparkling emeralds. I guessed this was how Dad felt when Dumbledore really looked at him. He'd told us all the stories.

I could feel tears beginning to well up as Dad continued,

"Ok, now we've sorted that there's something else we need to start discussing. We need to decide what to do about the family. Obviously we'll wait for the test results so that we're 100% sure but they will have come by tomorrow. We're talking about this with you as you need to be involved in the decision.

"As I'm sure you're aware the family do know that you're here in the hospital and they're dying to check you're ok, especially Hugo. However, I think if they come to the hospital they'll need to know the situation so that's why they're keeping their distance for a while. Do you want an announcement made or it to be spread quietly by Grandma? Lily?"

I still hadn't said anything as I had no idea how I wanted the situation handled, I was still si overwhelmed. In the end I choked out,

"Maybe if everyone gathers at the Burrow you two could explain everything. I still don't want many visitors though, even when I go home tomorrow. If they really want to come it can only be in pairs at the most. I just can't cope with more."

Mum quickly grasped my other hand and squeezed it,

"If that's what you want then it's what will happen. How about we tell everyone tomorrow evening as it's Weasley dinner. We could leave James and Albus with you then we'll return after we've talked to everyone. We can have our own special meal, whatever you want, yeah?"

"Yeah," I said giving Mum a tiny smile. The first since I had found out. She gave me a big hug and Dad joined in. We sat there for a while then we broke apart and sat in amicable silence as I ate my way through the delicious food.

As I ate I thought about everything. It was still going to suck and all my emotions were still running wild but I thought that maybe there was a small glimmer of hope now, at least I had support. However, I still felt so awful I couldn't see how I would ever be able to move on from this properly.

A/n this seems like quite a depressing chapter but it's not the happiest part of her life! Please review

Pilks xxx