Chapter 4: Fang
Go up to her and ask 'Which parent was the dog, your mother, your father, or both?'
Say 'You're such a bitch sometimes ... is it due to your heritage?'
Steal her lance and cook a roast on it
Steal her lance and pole dance on it
Ask her if she howls at the full moon
Tell her that her dentist appointment is coming up
Offer her a bone
Go up to her and ask 'Why do you fight with a lance if you're a bitch?'
Give her a chew toy and/or a 'Beware of the Dog' sign
Buy a leash and a collar and put it on her while she sleeps
Scratch her belly and coo 'Who's a good girl?! Who's a good girl?!'
Chuck a stick and yell 'Fetch Fang, fetch!'
Offer her some Schmackos
Tell her to sit, beg and shake, or any other dog commands
Pick your teeth with her lance when she's looking
Set fire to her sari
Imitate her accent
Whack her over the head with her lance
Comb her hair while she sleeps
Say to her 'Fang! It's time for your doggie bath!' and see her reaction (in other words ... RUN, YOU IDIOTS!)
Use her lance as a back scratcher
Keep jabbing her with her lance
If she retaliates, whack her head and say 'Bad dog! Bad dog!'