A/N- Sorry for the long wait here, chaps! I've been dreadfully busy ... or I have a notoriously short attention span. Take your pick. Well, anyway... Before I get started, let me say a few words: Nitwit, blubber, oddment, tweak. No wait, seriously.

1) Nope, still don't own Animal Crossings. In case you were wondering...

2) Murray ... Wait, excuse me, THE Murray (my bad), I was wondering if you could give me permission to use your song lyrics for an ensuing chapter? You could all probably guess that my songwriting skills are somewhat wanting, so if anyone has any lyrics, keep 'em coming!

3) Um ... that's all I've got. Tallyho!

Chapter Four- the Deep is Fraught with Peril

Our fine ship sailed out of Citytown at a decent pace. Well, really, I suppose it was my fine ship, but really, I try to keep things as communal as possible, my humility keeping me from taking too much credit. But I digress... We left the Citytown jetty behind until it was a mere speck on the horizon, and then we continued to leave it behind until it was entirely out of sight and the last notes of K.K. Casbah had died out into the distance. Once this oh-so-fascinating event had transpired, I adjusted my devilishly stylish hat and turned to my men.

"Men," I said, "I turn to you now to offer you my thanks. You have served me up and beyond the call of the wild... life that a sailor must lead. I could not ask for a more upstanding and loyal crew... though I could ask for a smarter one..." I added in an undertone.

"What was that? You want a lighter gun?" Chip asked, bewildered.

"What's 'ee wantin' a nun for anyhow, Cap'n? They're devilishly tricky little blighters, nothing but trouble, them religious women, and I'd'a know..." Kapp'n muttered, continuing to ramble on about some particularly mean-spirited religious woman whose name escaped me.

"Why do you want an armed nun again, Cap'n?" Chip asked in all seriousness.

"Shut up! There's no nun! I didn't even say anything about a nun! Gosh, you people..." I muttered, stalking off. "Ruining my moments..."

"I think Cap'n's a-angry, son," Kapp'n whispered.

I was prepared to give them both a well-deserved "No, you think?", but my justifiable retort was cut off in the delivery stage as a sudden force rocked the boat... er, suddenly. Water slopped onto the deck as the starboard side dipped under the surface. I threw both wings onto the ship's railings for support.

"Kapp'n... Was that you?" I whispered.

"Nay, Cap'n, t'wasn't me," Kapp'n whispered back.

"Well, if you didn't do it, and you didn't do it, and I sure as halibut didn't do it, then who..." Chip trailed off.

"I don't know..." I replied to Chip's unfinished query.

But the reason all too readily became apparent.

Giant ripples began to spread through the water like it was a crumpled piece of stationary. A deep rumbling noise like the starting of a train's engine rang throughout the air. Giant, monstrous waves rose over the surface like... giant monstrous waves. I'm having trouble thinking of more brilliantly clever similes. And, all at once, giant grey tentacles shot out of the water like a forest growing in ultra-fast motion (Ha! Gulliver, master of similes, has returned!), followed by a deformed head and a bulbous body- The form of a giant squid.

My first thought was- Oh come on! First George, now this? Can I ever get a break?

My second thought I shall censor for the sake of any little children that may or may not be present.

"Move!" I shouted. "It's the giant squid!" I reached into my britches pocket and whipped out a gun, which I cocked, looking distinctly impressive while doing so, I must add.

My men sprang into action. Kapp'n seized control of the sail, and Chip leapt out of the aim of my gun and whipped out his arms of choice: a cast-iron frying pan. Oh, well. Beggars can't be choosers. Chip and I ran to the rail closest to the monster, shouting orders to Kapp'n to bring the ship around towards the beast, which he did. And now the true test would begin...

I fired off six shots in quick succession at the squid. I will take this moment to note that accuracy is not a necessary requirement for being the greatest naval captain ever seen in all the seas, and thusly will gloss over how many of those shots actually connected. But to my oh-so-manly and refined dismay, I only had six shots total (which equals NONE LEFT), and the giant squid was rapidly approaching.

Not all of my crew had such utter self-control. Chip began to pray loudly to the God of Fish, saying that if His Awesome Fishyness got him out of this alive, he would set aside the largest fish he caught of each day as an offering to His Great And Noble Mercy, and he would never do anything wrong again, or so help him, et cetera, et cetera. Kapp'n more or less kept his head. He turned the ship so abruptly that Chip's newfound piety was interrupted as we crashed into the monster with the front (or as we all-knowing sailors like to call it, the bow) of the Crusty Barnacle.

The squid let out the squid-ish equivalent of a cry of pain and outrage, which ran more or less along the lines of Waaaaaaooooohhhhhaarrrghhhhhshorgfisget!" (which, incidentally, is more of less the noise Chip makes when he sleeps), and charged. Great slimy disgusting tentacles sprang from the water, missing the ship, but seizing Chip around his gigantic middle and lifting him into the air.

"AAAAYYYYIIIIIEEEEE!" Chip screamed.

"Hang on, Chip! We'll get you!" I screamed.

"Farewell and adieu to you, fair Spanish ladies!" Kapp'n screamed.

The squid screamed something that there isn't a long shot in a Nook 'N' Go raffle I could spell as it flailed its tentacles faster.

And who do you think was the one with the foresight and brilliance to seize an axe and sever one of the squid's tentacles, catching Chip before he fell to a painful, untimely, and very, very wet death? Well, you need not live in suspense. I shall tell you. It was... No, no, I can't. My modesty prevents me from continuing.

"What are we a-gonna do?" Kapp'n yelled, panicking.

"Leave it to me!" I yelled back. Kapp'n was only too happy to comply.

I picked up my trusty Nook-brand axe and jumped from the ship onto the really, really disgusting head of the squid, and began chopping away madly at the tentacles that surrounded me, like a lumberjack on a sugar buzz.

"Take this! And this!" I yelled omnipotently. "Ha! And let this be a lesson to you, you loathsome, foul being! Never tangle with Gulliver, Lord of the Sea and Master of the Deep! Mwahahahahahahaaaaaaaa!" The overall effect of the thing would have been greatly enhanced by an old-fashioned bolt of lightning and some really menacing organ music right about there, but then you can't have everything. And I never said I was Lord of the Weather, after all.

With another swing of my axe and a "Begone, vile fiend!" for good measure, the squid let out another ear-splitting roar and sank back into the sea, the massive ripples showing its retreating process.

"Hooray!" Chip shouted, as he and Kapp'n joined hands and began to dance merrily about the deck in a bizarre parody of a sailor's jig.

"Ahem."

My men ceased their merriment and peered over the railing to see my hat, beak, and glaring eyes poking up above the water.

"A little help here, please."

After a good bit of effort on all of our parts and a good many "Yo ho, heave ho, a pirate's life for me,"'s thrown in by Kapp'n who else? for old time's sake, the three of us managed to get my noble and rather wet self onto the deck of the Crusty Barnacle. I tossed my faithful axe over by my cabin, causing Chip to scream and run away to avoid death by decapitation.

I wrung out my still devilishly stylish, yet soaking wet, hat and popped back on my head at an important-looking angle. (Never mind how the angle was important-looking. You wouldn't understand anyway.)

"And let that be a lesson to you, men," I said importantly. "The deep is fraught with peril."

We were soon to discover how very right I was...

A/N- Well, there you have it! Is this chapter up to scratch?

Oh, and by the way, I just remembered... I've got enough to keep dear old Gulliver going for four more chapters, but if anyone's got any ideas for more, please, let me know! I'd be more than welcome to hear them ... trust me. I need all the help I can get!

RebelFaerie