Tsunade was asleep.

This was no great surprise: she had been drinking since three o'clock the previous morning and it was now twelve o'clock at night. And even then – before that – there had been the paperwork!

She'd been given a whole day cleared of responsibility just to take care of it and here she was, still head-height in it (albeit, lying on desk head-height). 1100 mission reports filed and ordered, 62 official complaints replied to and sent off, 7 unofficial complaints redirected, the academy report signed, the statistics sheet from the hospital assessed and in its proper place (the bin), the MIA paperwork, KIA paperwork, the RIA paperwork (that meant Reincarnated in Action; a recently devised practise for keeping track of those ninjas in the Bingo Book who officially died more often than they set up camp) and all that other incompetent waste of trees mainly generated through inefficiency or a lack of it. Stupid ninja: couldn't they keep track of their own damn lives for once?

Danzo was messing her about; the rest of the council were just being sticks in the mud… she couldn't do anything without making herself look weak in regards to the other villages (damn that Gaara and his 24hr schedule!) and, worst of all, she'd finished the sake again. That was twice in one week. And on an empty stomach.

"SHIZUNE!"

Actually, she wasn't really asleep.

"SHIZUNE! GET ME MORE SAKE! I'M THIRSTY!"

It was just a very comfortable desk.

…

Oh fuck. Now she had to look like she was doing paperwork.

"Tsunade-sama? Isn't it time you got on with the foreign-affairs pile? Kami: what is that smell? Have you been throwing up in the wastepaper basket, again? You know that's unfair to the…"

It really had been a very comfortable desk.

/

"Foreign affairs, foreign affairs, foreign a-fucking-ffairs… Ah, foreign affairs. I was beginning to think I had reached the end of that particular list. Oh, hello Sakura. That one's Danzo being a prick: that can go in the 'Danzo Being a Prick' Pile. Gaara showing me up again… The Mizukage was re-elected (ooh, a woman; how exciting)… Sakura, do you want anything to do? Because I have a list of requests I need delivered… Banned substances (oh who cares if the shinobi was Konohan: can't they just send him back with a note?), severed head on pike belonging to Mist ninja… (ok; he was just asking for it)… fishing port rebuilt, new salon, mission re- Wait. Mission request?"

Sakura looked up from the filing cabinet. Her teacher paid no mind.

"Sakura?"

Still paying no mind: she was talking to herself.

"Sakura, why did they send me gibberish? I can't read a word it says. They wrote Japanese at the top and then forgot to translate all the important bits. Why would they-"

"Do you want me to take a look, Sensei?"

Tsunade jumped.

"Huh? Sakura? When did you…? Right, yes. Take a look. It's nonsense, I tell you."

Sakura frowned, taking the letter and running her eyes down it. For a mission request, it was remarkably wordy.

"Can you read it?"

"It's in English: of course I can read it. Some of the medical texts are in English. Didn't you notice?"

"I just got Orochimaru to read them for me: he knew lots of languages. Never thought about learning one myself, really. Couldn't be bothered, too many things to do… and then I became Hokage and it was impossible. Read it out loud."

Sakura cleared her throat.

Dear Ninja Leader (it read)

We are most regrettably in need of your assistance at this time...