Authors note: Holy shit you guys! I forgot to post this chapter on here! I posted it over on AO3 and someone forgot fanfic. Sorry about that! For this chapter, I did the character's internal thoughts differently. They're still italicized, they just don't have the single quotes around them. Hope that's not too confusing. The only one that's different is the last part which is a flashback. His thought in that one isn't italicized, just regular text and I do believe I did leave the single quotes for that one. Hope that's not too confusing.

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Slamming his fist down on his alarm, Vegeta rolled over and debated skipping his workout. Mondays were the always the day his bed chose to be the most comfortable but given the weekend he had, it was like sleeping in a marshmallow peep. A bunny shaped one to be specific. He grabbed his phone before the snooze could go off again and squinted at the time. He still had a good hour and a half before work so maybe he'd do a quick workout and skip breakfast instead.

With his legs wobbling and his shoulders on fire, he peeled off his training shorts and set the shower to ultra-inferno. The water stung the still healing scrape on his neck and when he brought his hand to it, he unintentionally brought back some memories of that night as well. He sighed and leaned against the shower wall, letting the scalding water punish the raging semi he was egregiously sporting. His weekend consisted of dead bodies, cock blocks and a shitty movies... So yeah, better just burn that dick off.

After buttoning his shirt, he rolled up one sleeve and started to look for his watch. He blew out a huff of air and tilted his head towards the ceiling when he couldn't find it...again. For all he knew it was in some pawn shop or on some Shawty's wrist. Probably had the face changed out for a wall clock..

He went into the kitchen and when he glanced at the microwave clock he debated grabbing a quick bite to eat. The only cereal in his pantry was either LBGTQ loops or corrugated bran with raisins. Neither sounded appealing so he convinced himself he had enough time for coffee and bagels.

The smell of blueberry and cinnamon raisin bagels teased his palate as he entered the cafe closest to his house. He studied the array of coffee and espresso drinks carefully, confused at what the real difference was between most of them, but turned his attention to his surroundings when something else caught his eye. He always noticed there never seemed to be a shortage of single (maybe, who cares?), attractive women in his neighborhood, but today the coffee shop seemed to be riddled with wet T-shirt contestants.

As he walked towards the counter, he caught a couple of suggestive winks and for the first time in 48 hours, he wasn't totally unhappy with his decision. Especially considering the woman behind the counter looked like she moonlighted as a 1-900 operator. Something about her was a little off-putting though. Maybe the fact that she had blue hair? Whatever, the low cut shirt made up for that. After ordering, she handed over his coffee first and gave him his total as he sipped on it.

"...You can stick it in now.."

"Wha-?" he choked into his cup.

"Your credit card, silly" she laughed softly. "It's ready for you.."

She looked down..

..And pointed to the machine.

"Right.."

He was starting to think it was all in his head until she made a comment about how much cream she liked in her coffee as she handed him his bagel.

She was indeed attractive, but the blue hair wasn't doing it for him, so he brushed her comments off and turned towards his phone. She really was more suited for Raditz...

I WAS KIDDING!

"Hey I didn't know you came here." Raditz gave him a quick punch in the shoulder.

The vein on Vegeta's head started to pulse slightly.

"Why are you here?" he snapped.

"Oh, when I was at your house the other night I took your phone and enabled location so I can see where you're at."

Could a vein go from bulge to straight up aneurism?

Swearing he could feel pictures rattling off walls and plates cracking, Raditz held up his hands in defense. "I'm kidding! I'm kidding! It was a joke."

Vegeta failed to see the humor as a fork mysteriously flew off of someone's plate...

"You know I live like three blocks from here. I come here some mornings before work." All the words came out cobbled together at break neck speeds and he let out a nervous laugh. "And I mean come on, have you seen some of these chicks? Especially the one behind the counter."

Vegeta really was a good judge of character.

He brought his hand to his face and muffled something into it, probably an insult. "I'm going to be late for work. Enjoy 36-24-36."

Failing to get the number reference, Raditz waved him off as he stepped up to the counter to order. "So which pie do you recommend..."

-0-0-0-0-

Vegeta strummed his fingers on the table in agitation as he waited for the principal to begin the morning meeting. These meetings were pointless, always ran over and half of the staff didn't even show up. Except today, the room was full. He wasn't even sure if he knew everyone there. Maybe he missed some memo and the 'mandatory' meeting that morning was indeed mandatory.

A few more people shuffled in, one being the school nurse, just as the principal began his sermon.

"As everyone knows, the halloween dance is next Friday and-"

A collective grown emanated from the crowd.

The principal raised his voice in annoyance "AND.. we need some volunteers to chaperone. It will be a three hour event and I've split the shifts into one hour each. If I can get three staff members on every shift, I only need nine of you. So who's first ..Hm?"

Everyone in the room either avoided eye contact or pretended to be checking their schedule. The principal let out huff. "Look, I don't like chaperoning these things either-"

"That's why you never do." Vegeta interrupted.

"Well thank you for being my first volunteer Mr. Ojie."

"WHAT?! No way. I'm not wasting a Frida-"

"We can make that two shifts if you'd like?" The principal straightened his glasses and began looking around the room for more volunteers.

Tch..unbelievable.

"Now, we need eight more people. Any takers?"

"No..?"

"Listen, I know everyone showed up so I couldn't recruit you behind your backs, but I don't have to ask. I'm doing this as a courtesy."

The principal pulled out a roster of the faculty names and started calling out a few. It was going in alphabetical order so one faculty member raised their hand before he got to the 'B's.

"I can do it, it's fine. So long as I get the first shift."

"Ah, thank you Miss Bulma. I'll put you on the first shift with Mr. Ojie then."

She looked over to Vegeta but as soon as their eyes made contact he glared and looked away.

What's his deal?

A few more teachers started volunteering as the rest of the staff snuck off to their classrooms. Vegeta made sure he took the long way, not really feeling like dealing with bodies and organs quite yet. When he did reach his classroom he lingered outside the door listening to someone give a speech about safe sex, presumably prompted by the upcoming dance. He didn't have to guess who was on the other side of the door, but he did have to go in. He held his breath and entered the room in one quick motion.

"Oh, Hi. You must be Mr. Ojie. I'm Ms. Gero. Nice to meet you." She was concise in her introduction and went back to her spiel. Vegeta stopped halfway to the back of the room and nodded at the blonde woman before resting against the wall. He was surprised it wasn't the school nurse but all things said, he couldn't complain

And here I thought you had to have bat wings or a table ass to be a female teacher at this school.

Vegeta shook his head at the thought and continued listening as she wrapped things up (HA!).

"And that's why butter isn't a substitute for lubricant. Alright guys, I hope you learned some new stuff and I hope I was able to expound better on some old stuff. If you have any questions.. well go to the nurse first, okay?"

Ignoring the crickets and gagging noises, she walked up to my hubsa...er I mean.. to Vegeta and held out her hand. "It's Ms. Gero, but you can call me Juu. I'm the new school therapist. He shook her hand and noted what a firm grip she had. She didn't really smile at him, just grunted after they broke apart and walked off."

Vegeta walked over to his desk but before he could pull out his roll book, a student raised their hand.

"What?" We haven't even started class yet.

"Can margarine be used in place of butter?"

...This was going to be a long day...

With his last period being his free period, Vegeta chucked the student's papers into his briefcase and decided to head home early. He almost made it to the door when the gym teacher came in with a smile that said he wanted to talk.

"Move Kakarot. I'm going home."

"Well hey, wait a minute. I just wanted to make sure you were okay. You never came by to spar this weekend and you didn't really put up much of a fight over the chaperone thing. Everything alright?" he leaned against the door frame with a concerned look on his face. One that Vegeta wanted to claw off..

"I don't need a babysitter" he seethed. "I'm fine. There wasn't really anyway to get out of it this morning and it's only an hour anyway so.." He made a hand gesture for Goku to move.

"Oh..okay. Well I got stuck with second shift duty but I'm going to see if Chi-Chi wants to come with me. Maybe we'll even show up earlier so we can all hang out. I hear Yamcha's on first shift with you and Bulma."

Suicide booths aren't real right? I got that from Futurama?

Vegeta nodded to himself in confirmation, leaving Goku wondering what he was thinking about as he pushed past him and walked down the hallway.

"Well I'm here if you need anything" he hollered after him. He knew he would never deign to do that but he grinned when he thought about the snacks they would have at the dance.

The teacher parking lot was already half empty. Vegeta stood outside of his car fumbling around for his key fob. When he pulled it out of his pocket, it was tangled up in the leather strap that holds it to the other keys. He tugged on it gently at first, trying to ease it off but the more people he saw walking out, the tighter is grip got. He started yanking at it faster, getting red faced and flustered, but still no release. Not caring if he damaged it at that point he gripped it as tight as he could and jerked it off...

But he didn't jerk it off fast enough...

"How exactly does a teacher afford that car?"

He almost didn't acknowledge her presence at all, but he was learning how persistent she could be.

"What?"

"I know it's none of my business. But that's a very expensive car and..." she smelled the air around him.

"..that's very expensive cologne."

He would be lying if he wasn't a little impressed about her knowledge of well..at least the price of the car. And she did know what it was when she walked up to him at the movies..

"You're right, it's not your business." He opened the door to his car.

He was definitely more pleasant when he was half asleep

"I wasn't trying to pry or anything, it's just a nice car and historically...well teacher's don't make that much money. Do you invest or something?"

He rolled his eyes and threw his briefcase onto the passenger seat. "Something like that."

She pushed a few of the gravel stones with her feet.

"Anything else?"

Her eyebrows crinkled . "Actually, yeah. Why are you being so rude?"

Vegeta smirked. "I'm the rude one? I'm pretty sure I was the one who came bearing gifts and yet ended up in my own bed alone."

She thought the ground was about to split beneath her. "WHAT?! You're pissed because you fell asleep and I didn't bother waking you up to fuck-.." She looked around and lowered her voice closer to a whisper.

"..to fuck you? Seriously?!"

His brows furrowed with rebuttal. "I don't care that you let me sleep! I care that I woke up with another guy three feet away from me!"

Bulma's face went from livid to highly amused when other people in the parking lot started staring at him.

A slight blush started to run across his cheeks and for a second Bulma thought he might actually be more human that he was letting on.

"Look" she sighed. "I just thought that maybe you had a roommate or sibling or someone that might be worried about you if you didn't make it home, especially considering what happened right before. I wasn't trying to make you feel rejected."

Vegeta snorted at the suggestion. Rejected? Seriously, what woman rejects me.

"..Or I don't know... maybe you have a girlfriend or something.." Bulma rubbed her arm nervously, kicking herself for adding that last part in there.

"I can assure you if I had a girlfriend, I wouldn't of been with you that night."

Vegeta felt a little weird about that statement and wondered if he just implied something he shouldn't have judging by the look on her face. It did effectively shut up her bitching though...so whatever.

But then she opened her mouth again.

"So there's this new therapist around school. Have you seen her? I hear she's really pretty."

Vegeta eyed her carefully wondering where she was going with this. "I have. And yes, she is."

It may have been cruel but the way her nostrils flared slightly at his remark made his chest 'tingle' a little.

Bulma clicked the back of her teeth. "M'kay. She took over my sex ed class this morning. I was booked for two rooms, so the principal got her to cover one of them." She could tell Vegeta's interest was way past gone so she decided to end the conversation on a neutral note.

"I'll be teaching one again tomorrow, your second period class. See ya then." With a wave and a very intentional sway of her hips, she was gone.

It was hard to stay mad with a view like that. But he was truthful in what he said, he wasn't really mad at her, just the case of blue balls he bartered for sleep apparently.

0-0-0-0-0

"Am I sure..?" She reiterated his question. Her voice seemed different suddenly, but he brushed it off.

"I'm being nice here. Normally, I wouldn't ask. I just don't want to -.."

She swayed her head side to side and let out an cacophonous laugh as she clutched his hand and pushed it harder into her chest. He inhaled sharply, not feeling comfortable were this was going, just as strands of hair started falling from her head. She gripped his hand harder and pushed it into her chest. Frozen to the bed, his hand plunged deep into a festered hole that felt much like the inside of a ripe gourd.

Autonomously, he shoved his other hand into a small hole in her abdomen and began pulling out filaments of elongated organs covered in gelatinous muck. Her shrill laugh turning into blood curdling screams. But he couldn't stop. He started tugging and ripping at her skin until the only thing left in front of him was a disemboweled skeleton. He pulled out his hands and held them close to his face, examining them. He looked back and forth between his palms and the flayed remains in front of him as the magnitude of his actions set in. Bile began to rise in his throat and his breaths became labored and shallow. He backpedaled to the head of the bed until he ran into it with a 'ding'.

...

..

"What?" Raditz looked over at Vegeta who was strewn haphazardly across the other end of the couch.

"What?" he said between heavy pants.

"You said you have to get your laundry?"

He stared at him in bewilderment and looked around the room in quick movements, trying to gain some clarity. Things were getting more confusing by the minute but Vegeta's pride got the better of him, so he reined it in.

"My bad. What I mean to say was what the fuck are you doing here and how did I get to my house?"

"Well first off.." Raditz brought up an index finger. "You dream about doing laundry? Ha, that's amazing. My dreams are always so weird. Like I'm running away from something that isn't there or I lose some teeth. Second, was it de-pressing?" He busted out laughing totally ignoring the glare he received.

"Get it? De-pressing? Like getting garments pressed...cause you were doing lau-. Ahh. Never mind... But seriously, you look kind of pale. Were the piles of clothes never ending or something?" He teased with a cheesy grin.

"No." he bit out. "Nothing that stupid." He trailed off momentarily. "But I think the Crypt Keeper might have been there..." Raditz's stupid grin remained. Vegeta rolled his eyes. "What..uh..What happened anyway?" He wiped the remaining sleep out of his eyes and attempted to look at the time on his missing watch again.

"Oh, right. Well I got a call from Kakarot who got a call from some gorgeous girl that said you were passed out on her couch." He held up his hand in attempt to get a high five, but Vegeta wouldn't budge, so he dropped it before continuing.

"Too much alcohol or exhaustion..Something like that. Long story short, I brought you home, watched a little skinemax, put on a movie when I was done and threw some muffins in the oven. Actually I just heard the timer go off right as you woke up. Be right back."

'So nothing happened then? Pfft..figures. And what did he mean by "When I was done"..?'

Vegeta shuddered at the thought and pinched the bridge of his nose to try to piece together the last few hours. He remembered something about camping and tiny Matterhorns..but everything after that was a blur. He gave the night a final shrug and looked for the remote to see what movie Raditz put in.

With the push of one button, a familiar theme song started emanating from the tv. God he loved that movie

~We're going to take a walk outside today. Going to see what we can find today.. Going to take a walk outside today...Going to see what we can find today.. On a pretty little farm~

"They're banana-nut!"

"Ah.!"Vegeta jumped and halted his lip syncing when the ninja on his right held a tray out in front of him.

"No thanks. And get out."

Raditz just laughed it off and handed Vegeta the remote as he started to gather his things. He packed a few muffins for the road but ultimately left most of them for Vegeta.

Turning off the tv, he headed for the bedroom and started undressing. Had his bed ever been this comfortable? He almost started purring when he slid his body into it against the grain of the silk sheets. He rolled his head back and forth across the pillow taking advantage of how cool it was. It was only a matter of minutes before he was out again.

End Notes:

Well I hope you guys enjoyed that chapter! Sorry it took me so long to get out. I want to say that the next one will be out sooner, but I've got so much going on right now (not including excuses XD) that I don't want to hold myself to something I can't keep. For the long wait though I did throw in some extra humor of all sorts so I hope that got a few laughs. This one may have a few more grammatical errors because I didn't proof it too closely before posting. As always R and R and I hope you guys enjoy!