Where I Belong

"Did I really bore you so much last time that you had to bring work with you?"

Squall looked up from the folder he was leafing through to see Laguna take the seat opposite him. "I had it just in case you arrived late again." he replied, laying down the folder amongst the various sheets scattered across the small table.

"I would have thought that all of Garden's documents were confidential. 'Top Secret' and all that."

"They are, but this is the Garden Festival organisation papers."

A smile tugged at Laguna's lips. "You're organising the Garden Festival?" His warm tone betrayed his blatant disbelief.

"Of course not. Selphie's organising it but she's on leave to visit her parents in Trabia."

"I thought Selphie was an orphan."

"You really don't think do you?"

The words had left Squall's mouth before he had time to think about them. When Laguna looked taken aback, Squall kicked himself for speaking out of line. He had been rude and was about to apologize when he remembered that, with his relationship with Ellone, Laguna of all people should know that blood isn't everything.

Instead of apologizing, he chose to merely continue with his explanation with a less curt tone. "Her adoptive parents. She lived with them till Trabia Garden opened."

"She's still in contact with them?"

Squall gave him a level look. "Evidently."

"I see you brought your friend again."

Both men looked up to see their waitress standing with her pad and pen ready. Squall didn't bother correcting her on the friend part, choosing to simply answer instead. "Coffee and mixed sandwiches."

The waitress simply repeated the order as she wrote it down, used to Squall's direct attitude. She turned to Laguna. "And will you have the same as last time?"

"Why not."

"Balamb salad and a coffee right?"

Laguna raised an eyebrow. "Good memory."

She grinned and walked off, calling over her shoulder, "It's my job."

As she left, Squall went about the task of collecting all the papers. He slid them into the folder, creating more space on the table.

"I knew that Zell and Quistis were adopted; were they the only other ones?"

"Irvine was adopted as well."

"I didn't know that."

Laguna looked surprised and Squall didn't know why. Smooth, sweet-talking Irvine not adopted? Not a chance. If memory served, Irvine was the first to leave.

"I thought that he'd grown up in Garden like you." Laguna continued.

"It's a common mistake." Just like everyone assumed that he was born in Galbadia. Something he hadn't been of innocent of either.

"Well, Selphie's on a mission at the moment so I thought my ol' buddy Squall would have a drink with me."

"It's two a.m. Irvine."

"I know, but it's just a drink. Please."

"Guess he joined later like Selphie." Laguna's comment shook him out of his reverie.

"Not really."

"Not really?" There was a little amusement mixed in with Laguna's question.

"Irvine didn't become a SeeD until sometime after we defeated Ultimecia."

Laguna looked confused. "But I thought he was your sniper to assassinate Edea?"

"He was."

"How is that-"

"-Garden sometimes sub-contracts."

"I didn't know that."

"It's uncommon now, and we have to inform the client when we do, but sometimes we don't have the right person or skills for a job, especially when Garden was starting up. We only use the best sub-contractors though."

"How do you get into that position by seventeen?"

"His father was a sniper."

Shit. Squall hadn't meant to say that, it was a stupid slip-up. It didn't matter though, he reminded himself. It wasn't anything that Laguna couldn't find out easily enough and, more importantly, it wasn't anything that Irvine kept hidden. He'd just have to be a bit more careful from now on.

Laguna didn't blink or seem surprised about this new information, making Squall suspect that the other man at least had his suspicions about Irvine. "Taught little Irvine the tricks of the trade? His mother must have loved that, or was that the plan all along?"

Squall shrugged. He was saved from giving a proper response by the timely arrival of the waitress carrying their food and drinks. They watched as she slid the tray onto a nearby table, freeing her hand to place various plates and cups onto their own table.

In reality, Squall knew the answer to Laguna's question, but to give it would intrude too much into Irvine's privacy. Laguna had no right to know how it was Mrs Kinneas's idea to adopt, but at half the age of her husband, she had no idea how to raise the little boy. Irvine found himself as an accessory, a display item to dress up, show-off and play with when she felt like it. Irvine insisted that she wasn't a bad person, just young and naive.

Mr Kinneas had then surprised himself by taking a shinning to the boy and the two grew closer. Despite his efforts, Irvine grew more distant from his 'mother'. By the time Mr Kinneas died, Irvine had formed a strong-enough bond with Martine to be allowed to simply move into the Garden. Laguna had no right to know all this and Squall had no right to tell him.

Laguna seemed to realise that he wasn't getting any more out of Squall on the subject. There was a moment's silence as both began eating before Laguna started again.

"So you and Seifer were the only ones who weren't adopted?"

Squall looked up at the question, a faint tinge of amusement running through him. "Does that surprise you? Seifer has always been 'troubled' and I..." He trailed off, not entirely sure how he was going to finish that statement.

"But surely that meant that you needed a home more."

Squall leaned back with his sandwich still in hand, trying to stop the corner of his mouth from twitching. "If you had a choice, who would you choose - Ellone or me?"

Laguna frowned across at him. "That's not a fair question."

No, it wasn't, because they both knew what the answer would be. "Then between Seifer and Quistis."

"Yeah, but Seifer's an arse."

Squall fought down a snort of laughter at Laguna's blunt description. "Then why would they think that I'm any different?"

"You're not a bad guy, you were just-"

"Quiet?" Squall interrupted, not interested in Laguna's assumptions of what he had been like, "Reserved? Anti-social? Cold?"

Laguna tried a different tactic. "Quistis didn't get along with her parents. Maybe they would have been better off with you or Seifer."

He shot Laguna a curious look. How the hell did he know that Quistis didn't get along with her adoptive parents?

Laguna grinned and stirred his coffee. "Hey, you're not the only one who can talk with your friends."

Touché. He didn't answer for a moment, chewing on his sandwich. This was Quistis's past they were talking about. It made him uncomfortable to sit around and gossip about it. After all, he wouldn't be happy about Quistis gossiping about his past.

However, Laguna had already talked about the matter with Quistis herself and she hadn't seemed to mind so he supposed there was no harm. Besides, the longer they talked about Quistis, the less time they'd talk about him. Squall did have to wonder why Laguna seemed more interested in his friends then himself though. He would have thought that Laguna would have got his answer about Selphie and then used that to broach the topic of his own past.

Still, best not to make another stupid blunder. "What did she say about them?"

"That her parents were doctors and wanted her to follow in their footsteps. She didn't want to so they fought and she ran away. Well, that was the gist of it anyway."

"They picked Quistis because she was smart, pretty, popular and friendly - the orphanage golden girl. That's what they wanted, their own little doll to dress up and follow down their path. When she didn't want to go down that path, they fought. Eventually, Quistis had had enough and ran away to Garden and took back her birth surname. I think her adoptive parents decided it was for everyone's benefit if they just let it lie."

"Is there anything thing else you need?" The waitress appeared by their side.

Laguna looked up at her and smiled. "I'm fine. Squall?"

Squall gave a curt nod and a thank you which sounded more like a more like a dismissal then he intended. The waitress's eyes sparkled with humour. She threw a lazy mock salute and gave an 'aye aye Commander' before sauntering off.

"You must know her quite well?"

Squall looked blankly across the table. "Quistis?"

"No, the waitress."

"Carla?" Squall glanced at the woman at the bar. "She works full-time so she often serves me and Rinoa."

"I haven't seen many people so playful with you."

Squall picked up another sandwich, hoping it would prevent him from having to reply to the comment. One problem with talking to Laguna was that he often made comments that Squall had no idea how to respond to.

"Well," Laguna said after swallowing another mouthful of salad, "guess that leaves Zell."

Realisation hit Squall and he gave a sharp exhale of breath that could have sounded like the beginnings of a laugh. His lips twitched. Laguna was a lot subtler then he realised and a little bit craftier. He'd obviously taken the advantage of Selphie's family life to ease Squall into their new routine. It was obvious, especially after last week, that Squall was not going to be Mr. Open, but it was easier to talk about someone else's past than his own. So what better way to get Squall used to the idea of talking about his past than talking about his friends' pasts instead? It was like a training exercise.

"What?" Laguna looked at Squall with a bemused expression.

"Nothing." Squall replied though Laguna obviously didn't believe him. "You wanted to know about Zell?" he continued, deciding to humour the older man.

There was a small shift in Laguna's eyes and he smiled. Squall wasn't really sure whether Laguna had understood that he knew what was going on, or if he just thought that he was opening up to him. The alternative was that Squall was completely wrong and that Laguna was just a lot easier to distract than he thought.

"When did you meet Zell again?"

"At the beginning of secondary education when he joined Garden."

"I hear that's when SeeD training starts."

He heard? Laguna made it sound as if it was casually mentioned in passing during a conversation. He had no doubt that Laguna had been informed of just how the Garden education system and training was structured.

"Officially, yes." and he left it at that, leaving out, amongst other things, the games they played in physical education and the exercises they did in computer training.

"Did you remember Zell?" Squall shook his head, his mouth currently filled with his last piece of sandwich. Besides, he didn't really want to encourage the other man along this line of thought that could potentially lead to touchy subjects.

"Did he remember you?"

Squall shrugged, it wasn't a lie since he really didn't know but guessed that he hadn't. He didn't really remember Zell joining Garden. The memories going that far back were still very hazy and there were a lot of students who had joined Garden at that point. How could he remember one person from the crowd? He wasn't even sure if the two of them were in the same class or if he just knew Zell from joint class lessons and reputation.

Laguna set his fork down. "I think we've exhausted this subject for now. Why don't we leave it there for this week?"

Squall was tempted to point out that they hadn't once touched on either of their own pasts during this meeting but he stopped himself. He wasn't about to look a gift horse in the mouth. If Laguna was happy to just talk about the orphanage gang this week then he certainly wasn't about to argue.

"Fine."

Laguna stood while Squall gathered up his folder and slipped it into his bag.

"See ya next week then."

He took up Laguna's goodbye to see the man walking away and once again, there was enough money on the table to cover both meals.

End of Where I Belong