A/N: Helloooo! Kuro-neko chan here, once again with big news! Visit the story What a Random Life and get a free cookie!

Xiao: No you don't.

Me: True, but they can't know that. I'm paid by the hour, every fan I give them, I get cookies.

Train: You sneaky little…

Me: Hey, I only said you get a free cookie, I didn't say it was for them!

L: Could you just introduce the story?

Me: Oh, anyway, for all you yaoi fans, this is as close as you're gonna get! Allow me to present, Shigure's New Chair!

Yuki: I don't like the sound of this.

Kyo: Me neither.

Disclaimer: Do I have to keep doing this? If I owned Fruits Basket, I would have Kyo and Yuki getting along better and Shigure as a girl! Haha, just kidding.…Seriously though, doesn't he seem girlish at times?

Chapter 4

Shigure's New Chair

"I know, it seems weird, but you'll just have to get along with it!" Shigure teased, inwardly grimacing at Yuki and Kyo's angry expressions.

"Gee, every time you happen to make even a little bit of money, being the bumbling idiot you are, you waste it on pointless things like this!" Yuki pointed out angrily.

"I object to that accusation! My baby is not pointless! Being an author is stressful at times, and you wouldn't know… wait, you insulted me didn't you?"

Kyo rolled his eyes. "Well, if he doesn't have a heart, he certainly doesn't have a brain."

Tohru shifted nervously. "Um, Shigure? What made you decide to buy a massage chair anyway?" She asked as politely as possible.

Happy that someone wasn't yelling at him, Shigure fingered the slick leather. "Oh, I don't really know, Tohru-kun (Of course she asks and he spills his guts, Yuki and Kyo thought angrily), but I suppose it was because I just needed to relax somehow."

"Oh, so running away from your editor isn't working?" Kyo grumbled, walking into the kitchen.

Yuki shook his head and looked at it again. It wasn't the fact that he didn't like it; in fact, it wasn't ugly at all, with its rich sandy-brown tones and hardwood feet. It was just it was so big and bulky that it fit awkwardly in Shigure's cramped office. Yuki shook his head again. "It barely fits in here, why did you buy it otherwise?"

Shigure smirked. In a flurry of movement, Shigure had pounced on the unsuspecting Yuki and shoved him unceremoniously into the chair.

"Wh-wha!" Yuki managed to yelp after recovering from the fall.

"Don't worry; relax." Shigure pressed a button and the chair sprung to life.

The chair buzzed and vibrated slightly as Yuki sat, shell-shocked, in the chair. He slid downwards into the chair, reveling in its slight movement, immediately curbing his anger toward Shigure.

"O-o-o-o-oh, y-y-y-y-yea-h-h-h-h, this is-s-s-s-s ni-i-i-i-ce." Yuki breathed, sinking down lower.

"See?" Shigure grinned, watching as Yuki shut his eyes slightly. Kyo watched in awe as Yuki's face immediately softened as the chair continued to shake.

"Is it really that good!" Kyo asked incredulously.

"Ye-e-e-e-e-e-esssssssss." Yuki gushed.

"Get outta that, then, let me try!" Kyo tried to pull the limp Yuki out of the chair and got the coldest of glances as he did so.

"Yo-o-o-o-o-u bet-t-t-t-ter get of-f-f-f-f of me Stu-u-u-u-u-pid Ca-a-a-a-t." Yuki hissed as Kyo pulled back.

"We better just leave him be." Shigure muttered to Kyo as Yuki reclined more in the large chair. Kyo grumbled and left the room.

Yuki peeked around the doorframe. Tohru, he knew, was sound asleep on in her bedroom on the left side (he could tell by the soft snores and the 'I'm sorry, I'm sorry' occasionally coming from her room.

Yuki looked to the right. Down a ways sat Shigure's room. Yuki tiptoed silently to the doorjamb and listened intently. His cousin had an odd habit of rolling around on the rug downstairs like some insane dog (He knew, Yuki had seen it on many of his late-night water runs). But, it seemed all was well tonight, due to the slight chuckling, the occasional "Ooh, high school girls, high school girls…ladies! Wait your turn" and louder snoring.

Yuki felt confident about sneaking another chance at the massage chair downstairs. Shigure had dragged him out of it earlier that night; though Yuki was thankful he was able to at least get something to eat (He'd die if he missed Tohru's dinner again).

Yuki grinned. At least he knew he didn't have to worry about Kyo catching him in the act. Kyo had taken to sleeping outside on the roof recently. Not that he complained, it's just Kyo looked so sad when he…

Yuki shook his head. Not now! He thought intently and dashed downstairs, quieter than a ninja. He crept around until his feet met the entrance to Shigure's library. Yuki quirked an eyebrow when he heard a slight crooning and…

Moaning?

Yuki shuddered. Sounds like sex moans. (A/N I know, I took that from Project Runway. I love Christian!) He grimaced. Taking a breath, Yuki yanked open the door.

Kyo sat on the rooftop, gazing at the sky. Pretty moon. Dammit, where'd that come from! Groaning at the pain that came from sleeping on the roof for weeks, Kyo stood up and stretched.

I bet even that massage chair would help me feel better. Kyo thought angrily, remembering the evil glare that that damn rat had given him earlier.

I should go and check it out right now, just to spur him. Man, he'd be pissed! With this plan in mind, Kyo slid off the roof and headed for the abandoned library. He crept into the unsuspecting room and shut the door slightly.

Kyo started when he heard a slight creaking upstairs but relaxed as it disappeared as quickly as it had come. Kyo slid into the smooth leather, reveling in its wonderful feel. Kyo's hands groped for the remote placed on the right hand side, and flipped it on Vibrate.

Instantaneously, Kyo felt himself relax as the chair continued to buzz and whir, but it felt so wonderful! It actually felt like someone was giving him a deep tissue massage.

Groans escaped his throat as not so innocent thoughts came to mind. But, all sounds ceased when he heard someone pull the library door open.

"You!" Yuki growled, seeing his adversary wrapped up in the comfy comforts of the chair.

"You!" Kyo replied, not willing to be outdone by the Damn Rat of all people.

"I'm telling Shigure! No you're not!" They both exclaimed, immediately quieting as they remembered that there were others sleeping in the house.

"What are you doing down here? I thought you were sulking on the roof!" Yuki whispered angrily, a death glare on his face.

"Me! You're the one sneaking around like the evil rat you are!" Kyo whispered vehemently back.

"What do you think! I came to sit in the chair!"

"What! I didn't even get a chance to sit in that chair, and you're getting another chance! No way, bozu!"

Things continued like this for about a half hour when Yuki and Kyo ran out of insults and out of breath. Finally, Yuki sighed as Kyo gasped for breath.

"Look, why don't we both sit in the chair?"

"What! I don't want to sit next to you! That's suicide in my opinion!"

"Oh, stop being such a baby, no one will know! It'll be fine!"

"Listen to you, you sound so perverted."

"Me! Why don't you listen to yourself, taking what I say the wrong way, get your mind out of the gutter!"

"Is not!"

"Is too!"

"Is not!"

"Is too!"

Their argument paused again when they heard footsteps upstairs. They both froze, unwilling to get an idiot lecture so early in the morning. When the footsteps finally receded to whence they came, Yuki started again.

"No one will know if we head back to bed in time. I'll set an alarm, and no one will know."

Kyo looked away, unwilling to show his gratitude. "Fine," he mumbled. "But I get to pick where I want to sit. I certainly don't want you taking the reins too often."

"Now, that really is dirty, do you actually find me as some raping, psychotic freak?"

"Sometimes, yeah."

Yuki shook his head as Kyo sat down in the chair. The chair was big enough so that they both could sit, but it was not comfortable. Kyo and Yuki sat stiffly side by side to make sure no part of their skin touched each other. I can't believe of all things, I have to sit next to that damn rat/stupid cat! they thought angrily.

That is, until Yuki fell asleep again. And, since you're asleep and don't know what you're doing, Yuki fell asleep on Kyo's shoulder.

Oh, great, now I get to wake him up. Joyous. Kyo muttered death threats under his breath until he realized; the slight vibrating of the chair was actually quite soothing which made Kyo realize why Yuki had fallen asleep in the first place. At some point, Yuki had rolled over onto Kyo's side of the chair, occasionally exhaling enough so that Kyo shivered as Yuki's warm breath skittered across his skin.

This is not happening! I hate that damn rat, I hate that damn rat, I hate- Yuki had curled up against Kyo at this point, mumbling some incoherent string of words that somehow put a smile on Kyo's face.

Yuki smiled warmly in his dream world where, of course Kyo didn't know, he dreamed of Care-Bears, little children kicking Kyo, Ayame, and Shigure in the shin, and Tohru's delicious coking. Ah, what bliss!

But of course, since Kyo didn't know what Yuki was dreaming, he guessed it was some fantasy about rats and cheese, which surprisingly made him happy.

Heh. What else can a guy do? Kyo was about to lay his head on Yuki's until he fell asleep when the alarm in Yuki's pocket whistled and vibrated, instantly waking him up.

Yuki blinked and rubbed his eyes sleepily as he sat up and stretched. "Well, time to go back to bed, I'm…" he trailed off at the red face that was Kyo's. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine." He replied, causing Yuki to inwardly shiver. "You just slept on me."

"Oh." Yuki thought silently for a moment. He shrugged. "Oh well."

Kyo watched with narrowed eyes as Yuki excited the room. "Make sure you turn off the chair and the lights before Tohru comes downstairs." He winked at the almost hissing Kyo. "Nighty, Night." He singsonged as he traipsed up the stairs.

A/N: Heh, heh. I could get used to writing this crap. Oh, yeah. Tell me what you all think!

Kyo: I think you better run.

Me: Why?

Yuki: I think you know why.

Me: Oh. Well, will you and Jimmy close up for me then?

Jimmy: Sure.

Me: Okay. (Runs out screaming with Kyo close after)

Yuki: Review and rate please!

Jimmy: Keep up the good work fellow authors!

Me: (Runs back in, panting) And…keep an eye…out for another story…called… actually, I don't know what I'm calling it yet, but I know it has Fruits Basket! And, uh, Jimmy, of course. So, uh, keep an eye out! Okay, (runs away again)

Yuki: (Looking at Jimmy's hair) Y'know, you look a lot like a girl.

Jimmy: (Sighs) That's what people tell me.