Kelly watched Casey as he slept on the couch. It was the middle of the afternoon and Matt was sprawled over the sofa, breathing steadily, for all intents and purposes he seemed dead to the world, and Severide was all for keeping it that way.

Casey hadn't slept a single night in his bed since the attack happened, after the first couple nights he gave up even trying and just spent his nights on the couch. If they got lucky, he might sleep for a couple hours after sitting up all night. Incidentally that was about all the more sleep Severide had been getting lately as well. As soon as they were home for the night every night the past week they'd been off shift, Casey locked the door and parked himself on the couch, it didn't seem likely whatsoever that if Kelly took his eyes off Matt for a couple hours, that Casey would go out and do something desperate. All the same he didn't feel right about leaving him unattended.

Kelly picked up the blanket on the back of the couch, unfolded it and draped it over Casey, who responded with a shocked yelp and shot up wide awake.

Dammit.

"Sorry, man," Kelly said.

Casey breathed heavily as he took in his surroundings and remembered where he was.

"Sorry, I was just trying to help," Severide told him.

"What time is it?" Casey asked.

"About 15 minutes since you fell asleep. Lie back down."

Casey became defensive, "Don't tell me what to do."

"I'm sorry, okay?" Kelly also became defensive, and told Casey, "I'm just trying to help!"

Casey sucked in a long breath and rubbed his eyes, and told Kelly, "I know you are...and I appreciate it, even though you can't tell it. I just don't have any idea what I'm doing anymore, Kelly."

"I understand."

Casey sighed and flopped his head back against the arm rest. "I want my life back the way it was."

"I know."

Kelly leaned over and asked him, "Can I touch you?" Without waiting for an answer he placed a hand on Casey's shoulder. "I know you don't want to hear this, but I think you need to tell the guys what's going on."

"No!" Casey groaned. "I don't want anyone else to know, it's bad enough that you know."

"Casey...worst case scenario, you tell them, they have to learn to deal with it, just like you have to. Why does that scare you so much?"

Casey looked up at him and answered simply, "If it had been you..." he shook his head. "You wouldn't tell them. You wouldn't tell anyone."

"And I'm told that's one of my lesser endearing qualities," Severide responded.

"How can I lead my men on Truck, when all the time I have to wonder what they're thinking when they look at me?" Casey asked.

"They're not going to think any differently of you than they already do," Kelly told him.

"Yes they will, it's inevitable, once you know, you can't get it out of your head," Matt replied as he sat up. "And the next time we get somebody new at 51, what then? The guys there, they're family, they've been with us forever, but we get somebody new who has something to prove..."

"You're getting ahead of yourself," Severide said as he lightly pushed Casey back down against the cushions and tossed the blanket over him, "calm down."

"I've never been able to get ahead of myself once in my whole life," Casey said. "Every time I think I know what I'm doing, everything goes to hell all over again."

"It's going to be alright, Casey, just trust me," Kelly told him.

Kelly waited until Casey was in the shower, that was the only time he was ever really alone, and called Boden to give him an update, and to get an update on how they were going to handle things at the station house.

"I don't think the guys will be able to keep what they know a secret much longer," Wallace told Kelly. "When you guys come in, I'm going to find a way to break the news to Casey."

"You can't do that, Chief," Severide said.

"I've got a plan, Kelly, just trust me on this."

There was that word again. Trust.

"What is it?" he asked.

"Well it won't be pretty, but I'm thinking we can at least contain the damage," Boden told him. "Once Casey knows that we know, it should be easier for him to come to terms with."

"I hope so, Chief, he's having a rough time right now."

"And you?"

"Let's just say I've been better," Severide responded.

"I'm proud of you, Kelly, I know this hasn't been easy for you."

"This isn't about me, I wasn't the one who was attacked. Casey was..." Severide lowered his voice and looked to the ceiling, he would swear Casey couldn't hear him but he didn't want to chance it. Quietly, he said into the phone, "Casey was, and he's worried that everybody's going to treat him different when they find out."

"That's usually a pretty big motivator to keep quiet," Boden told him. "We all fear the day we lose the respect of those who matter most to us."

Severide smirked to himself and asked, "You been talking to Doctor Charles lately, Chief?"

"Have you?" Boden replied.

"No," he answered, "nah, I'm doing fine."

"You sure?"

"Yeah."

"I know this has been hard on both of you, but keep an eye on Casey, I'll feel better once he knows it's all out in the open and he doesn't have to worry about hiding it anymore," Boden said.

"I'll feel better when the cops catch the bastard who did this," Severide responded.

"We all will."

Casey never came back downstairs, which worried Severide, so he went to make sure nothing was wrong. The lights were on in the room at the end of the hall and he saw Casey laying on his bed staring at the ceiling. Severide knocked on the doorframe and asked, "Hey, you want some company?"

"No, go away," Casey replied.

"Okay." Instead, Severide showed himself in and climbed on the other side of the bed.

Casey sat up and said, "I told you to get out."

"Oh come on, Casey, you heard Boden, you're the designated babysitter who's supposed to be watching me, remember?" Severide teased.

Casey looked at him with an annoyed expression and tried to be serious but after a few seconds he broke out in a smirk and a snorting laugh.

"Aha, that's a sign of improvement," Kelly said, "that's the first time I've seen you smile since this whole mess started."

Casey reached over and jabbed Severide with his elbow.

"Admit it, Casey," Kelly said, "you don't really hate me, do you?"

"That depends on what day it is," Matt answered.

This time it was Severide who laughed in response.

"So what're you doing up here?" he asked.

"Thought I'd give it a try again," Casey said, "maybe this time I'll actually be able to sleep."

"Hope so," Severide said, "I think Boden's starting to realize something's wrong. You go in on the next shift looking as bad as you do now and try to work, he'll kill you."

The spontaneity of his statement made Casey laugh for a second, then he was jabbing at Severide again telling him, "Get out of here."

"Alright," Kelly finally replied as he got up and headed for the door. "Yell if you need anything."

It was the screaming that woke him up.

It had started the night after Casey came back from the hospital. Almost like clockwork, every hour he would wake up screaming, and every time, Severide would go rushing out from his room over to Casey's to make sure nothing was actually wrong. After the first few times, he took to sleeping with his light on so he didn't run into any of the furniture as he dashed to the door. When Casey switched to staying on the couch all night, Severide moved downstairs and slept in the chair next to the couch. Only running on a couple hours' sleep at night, Casey didn't seem to experience near as many nightmares, but it still didn't make things any easier for Severide because he still stayed up all night watching him until he did go to sleep.

Once again Kelly jumped out of bed, ran out of his room, down the hall and over to Matt's room. The lights were still on and he saw Casey writhing around in the bed like he was struggling with someone. Unfortunately the only way Severide knew to really bring him out of a nightmare was to grab him and shake him which usually resulted in Casey going into survival mode and trying to choke Kelly until he was wide enough awake to realize what he was doing.

And once again, Severide stood over the bed and grabbed Casey by the shoulders and shook him. This time, instead of Casey's hands going straight for his jugular, Matt raised his hands over his head and screamed even louder, and it made Kelly's blood run cold. This was the sound of sheer terror. After several agonizing seconds, it was over, and Casey shot up in bed and opened his eyes.

"Casey, are you alright?"

But it was obvious he wasn't. He was covered in sweat and he had a wild look in his eyes as his surroundings hadn't fully registered yet. When he finally seemed to recognize where he was, he gasped for air, his eyes were wide, and he looked one step away from having a panic attack.

"It's alright, Casey, it's over, you're alright."

Casey saw Severide reaching for him and pushed himself back. "No, don't touch me, stay away from me."

"Casey, it's alright, it's me, it's Severide."

"No, leave me alone, don't!"

Severide watched Casey's movements and realized if he scooted back two more steps, he'd hit the ground running and be out the door, and what he'd do then was anybody's guess, but Kelly wasn't willing to chance it, instead he threw himself on the bed and grabbed Casey so he couldn't get away. Matt screamed and struggled and tried to get loose, but Kelly maintained a hold on him and pinned him to the mattress. In the deep recesses of his mind it occurred to him that that was probably the worst thing he could do since it might trigger another flashback to Casey's attack, but right now he was more worried about what Casey might do to himself in a panic if he got loose than what his less than orthodox tactics might do to his mental health.

"Calm down, Casey, it's alright, it's just me."

Severide kept his weight against Casey but managed to get him turned over to see him. Matt stopped struggling and stopped screaming and closed his eyes and fell back against the pillow. A few seconds later, he opened his eyes, looking more alert now, and asked Severide, "What happened?"

That was what Kelly would've liked to know too.

"I don't know," he answered as he shifted his weight away from Casey. "I think..."

He didn't think it would do any good to tell Casey he was having a flashback, the Truck lieutenant was trying his damnedest to act like nothing was wrong and he was getting better, he'd see this as a huge step back.

"I think it was some kind of sleepwalking," he said.

Casey looked confused as he took that in, he shook his head to try and clear it.

"I don't remember anything," he said.

Thank God for small favors.

"You okay?" Kelly asked.

Matt thought about it and slowly nodded, a bit uncertainly.

Ever since Casey's attack, Severide had also gotten to waking at the drop of a pin, he always kept an ear open incase anything happened with Matt. He woke up this time to the sound of Casey's breathing. It was shallow, erratic, if it had been anyone else, he might've been worried. But he looked at the man sleeping in his arms and saw Matt actually appeared to be sleeping soundly for the first time since this whole thing started, and he was satisfied they were good for now.

Kelly supposed he should consider this a massive sign of improvement, not that he had ever been eager to sleep with his best friend in the same bed, their individual bunks in their separate offices at the station house was as close as he ever cared for, but after all of Casey's 'don't touch me!' outbursts anytime anybody even got too close to him, he honestly couldn't feel anything other than relieved that Casey could sleep being this close to him and not wake up screaming in a panic.

After the last time Casey woke up, after his 'sleepwalking' episode, Kelly sat on the bed beside him and waited for Casey to tell him to go away. But he didn't. After a while Matt seemed to actually fall asleep, and Kelly found himself between the proverbial rock and hard place. He was worried if he got up to go back to his own room, that the sudden shift in weight on the mattress might be enough to wake Casey up, God knew he'd certainly jumped up screaming at less than that in the past few days, and then they'd be back to square one. So instead he slowly shifted his weight around on the mattress so he could at least lie down and get comfortable while he waited to see what happened next.

He himself must've fallen asleep for a short while, but he woke up when he heard an unfamiliar sound. Looking over to the other side of the bed he saw it was Casey, who was still asleep, but seemed to be in the throes of a nightmare, he held his hands up over his head like he was trying to protect himself, and whimpered as he tried turning on his side.

"Hey, buddy," Kelly whispered as he reached over and put a hand on Casey's arm, "it's alright, I'm here."

Casey didn't lunge at him trying to kill him, so Severide took that as a good sign. He decided to risk it and see what happened next, he lightly grabbed Casey and pulled the sleeping man over towards him and held him close.

"It's alright, Casey, it's just me, I'm not going to let anything happen to you."

He wished he could've made that same promise 2 weeks ago.

After a while, Casey's pained whimpers subsided and his breathing became steady, and then Severide was terrified to let go of him, should the sudden absence of his presence wake the lieutenant up.

As he lay there, waiting to go back to sleep himself, Kelly's conversation with Antonio from the morning after started replaying itself in his mind.

"Think about it, Kelly, you two live together, 'roommates', neither of which has any substantial relationship with any woman, a defense lawyer will milk that to the jury for all it's worth, and all the tabloids will run with it, 'Steamy Gay Firehouse Romance', then all of 51 will be dragged through the mud as well."

And if the defense attorney would ever find out about this...Kelly subconsciously tightened his hold on Casey, he would kick anybody's ass who tried to make anything out of what was going on, officer of the court just doing his job or not.

Then something else Antonio said came to mind.

"And you'll keep your cool on the stand as the defense insinuates you and Casey were sweating up the sheets every night and paints you as a hotheaded scorned lover who intimidated Casey into pressing charges against this guy?"

Severide growled under his breath in frustration. Matt needed him to keep calm no matter what happened or how bad things got. If he did allow himself to get riled up, it would only hurt Casey in the long run. Right now the answer was simple, nobody would find out about this, but for everything else that was already out there and could be brought up at trial, Kelly was just going to have to grit his teeth and keep his temper in check, no matter how much he might want to jump up and strangle the lawyer and his client.

He looked down at the man sleeping right beside him and told him, not sure whether Casey could hear him or not but not really caring either way, "It's going to be alright, Casey, I'm going to take care of this."

He wished he could've promised the same thing to Katie.

Casey was somewhere between the state of asleep and awake, he was conscious of the soft sheets under his body, more comfortable than the couch cushions, that was for sure. He felt a sensation of light against his eyelids, not the sun though, must've left the lights on when he went to sleep. He really didn't care. He felt content, he wasn't even sure for what. He felt his heart beating steadily in his chest and was aware of the even rhythm it kept. Then he turned on his side, and he thought he must've pulled a muscle, because now it felt like his heart was trying to beat out of his chest. Then Casey realized that that was somebody else's heart beating against his.

Casey opened his eyes immediately to see what was going on. When he did, he was frozen for several seconds, couldn't move, couldn't make a sound, could only look on in shock and horror as he saw Kelly Severide asleep right next to him. He had no direct memories of the last thing that had happened, and when he was finally able to react, it was with a panicked, "AHHH!"

Severide had been sleeping peacefully without a care in the world, all the same his subconscious had kept an ear open for any signs of trouble. When he heard Casey scream, he opened his eyes wide to see what was wrong. He saw Casey a couple inches away from him tangled in the sheets, wide eyed in a panic, trying to get away, but Severide didn't automatically see anything that could've been responsible for his current state, so figured it had to be another nightmare.

Casey finally got loose and put as much distance between he and Severide as he could without falling off the bed, he backed over to the edge and the only thing that was coherently coming out of his mouth was a frantic, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry." He couldn't remember what happened last night, but was worried what the possibilities were if the end result was waking up in bed with Severide.

Severide sat up and reached over to him, not getting what Matt was so upset about. "Casey, it's alright, calm down."

But Casey was still wild eyed and frantic, just kept repeating, "Sorry, I'm sorry."

"Casey, you didn't do anything wrong, take it easy," Kelly told him.

"W-wh...what did I do last night?" Matt asked.

Kelly looked at the clock and said, "I think you got six hours' sleep for the first time in two weeks. You okay, buddy?"

Matt wracked his brain trying to remember what had happened, how they got here, but he was coming up empty. "I can't remember what happened last night."

"Well you didn't miss much," Severide told him. "Casey, calm down, nothing happened."

"I don't remember waking up last night."

"That's because you didn't," Kelly said, "did you hear me, Matt? You slept all night."

Kelly scooted an inch or so towards Casey, he didn't notice.

"Matt."

"Huh?"

Kelly reached over and grabbed Casey and pulled him to him in a bone crushing hug. He couldn't speak for how much Casey needed this, but he knew he needed it.

The last two weeks had been hell for him, not just because of what happened, what he'd been a witness to, Casey's outbursts, all of that would've been tolerable, if he hadn't had to force himself to stand down and withhold any and all physical contact from his friend who he could clearly see was hurting and needed somebody. He was a physical person, if he liked you it would inevitably take on a physical trait, a slap on the back, an embrace, and women especially knew the extent of his physical movements. If he disliked you, words could easily escalate to a punch thrown, and if he really hated you he wasn't above coming at you with a tire iron. The long and short of it was Severide was a very physical person, it went against his nature to stand by and keep his hands to himself, physical touch was the shortest distance between two points of letting somebody know you were there for them, and as emotionally trying as their job was, it was a lifeline to bring you back to reality, knowing somebody was there for you if and when you needed them.

He waited for Casey to struggle, to yell at him, to try and get loose, but it didn't happen. It wouldn't have mattered if he did, Kelly wasn't letting go of him until he was good and ready. For the past two weeks he'd done everything he could think of to help Casey, and still he knew it wasn't enough, he felt like he'd failed him. With this thought running through his head, he just about hit the ceiling when he felt Casey finally reciprocate the hug. He was starting to dread exactly what was going to happen when they showed up for their next shift. Boden said he would handle it, but Severide couldn't help wondering what that meant.