Hey guys. I bet you are waiting for an update huh? Well sorry I haven't been able to do this earlier, I've had test and crap dealing with school. BUT now that school is out for the summer I will be able to focus more that I have been on my writing. Just saying I'm now back and better than ever. I'm going to try to detail as much as possible and make them longer, but keep with me and be patient. I promise I will not give up on my stories. :D
Disclaimer- I own nothing. I'm just a high school girl who loves to write!
Enjoy & REVIEW! PLEASE! I NEED ENCOURAGEMENT!
Last Time
"Ok, bye Ben." I say and he smiles.
"Bye Alex." He then turns around and walks into the building leaving me with Wolf and Nicole. Nicole smiles at me and takes Wolf's hand.
"So the park?" she asks and Wolf nods, before turning to me. He smiles and Nicole turns to smile at me to.
"Do you want to go to the park Alex?" He asks and I shrug.
"Sure." I say, uncomfortable. This whole situation is awkward. I just wish this week would hurry up and be over already.
Chapter 4
Alex's P.O.V
I sigh following the two young adults ahead of me who are talking to each other, practically ignoring me. I look down as I walk; only paying attention to the sidewalk and the back of their shoes so I won't lose them. I hate my life. My emotions are like the black London asphalt underneath us, dark and hard. I hear a cars loud honk in my ear and look up to find I'm still in the road when I shouldn't be. James turn around in shock and looks back at me with wide eyes. He doesn't look mad though, more surprised that he 'lost' me. I quicken my pace a little bit, and soon I'm right on the heel of James and Nicole who have gone back to talking amongst each other.
"We didn't lose you did we?" James asks, trying to lighten the mood. His black hair shines in the sun and if I'm not mistaken, that's a happy smile on his face.
"No, I was just thinking." I say looking up, but not meeting their eyes. Nicole laughs, and edges me softly in the side, not hard enough to hurt me.
"Well stop thinking silly!" She laughs drawing my sad eyes to meet with her warm happy ones. So much like Jack. I laugh trying to cover up the depression as it sets in and they seem to buy it. "Alright, well let's do some bird scaring. Alex, feel free to join me, but just remember to be careful." She says and runs toward a big flock of birds after giving James a peck on the cheek.
He takes a seat on a nearby bench, and nods for me to follow suit. I do without speaking feeling as awkward as before.
"So, you're an agent for MI6 huh?" He asks quietly. I look up to see if anyone is around to hear the conversation, but the park is empty.
"Yes." I say, not feeling in the mood to talk to some who hates me. Why should he care? He doesn't want me anyway. The awkward silence invades the air and I feel the tension rise. I nervously set my eyes on the ground counting the little pebbles in my head, not feeling comfortable enough to focus on anything else at the moment.
"You know, there are other things to look at besides the ground." James informs me with a soft but firm voice. "You can't always look down; you have to look up sometimes. I know it's going to be hard to, but you just have to keep looking at the good things." He says like he really knows me and the pain I'm in.
MI6 basically left me with complete strangers for a week. They made Ben leave. They took the only person I love, the only person I care about, and put him in the line of danger. I don't even know if Ben will make it back from this mission, he wasn't allowed to tell me about it so I don't know what it evolves.
"Please tell me the good things so I can look at them." I say not taking my eyes off the ground. 1 pebble, 2, 3 pebbles…
"You're alive." He says smugly. I glare at him with the most hateful look I can muster. I get up quickly as if sitting on the same bench with him is poisonous.
"And sometimes I wish I wasn't!" I say then walk off to another bench further away from James and his happy, happy, joy, joy self.
I count the steps I take as I walk; it calms me down knowing I can control something. 1 step, 2 steps, 3 steps.
I take 88 steps before I sit on the bench and focus my eyes on the ground again. Why is my life like this? Why is my life a living hell? Haven't I gone through enough? I feel tears gather in my eyes, and I try to push them back, to make them wait until I can take a shower later. I focus all my might on keeping the tears from coming out until a throat clears, I tune in my hearing and hear soft and tiny footsteps walking toward me.
I look up finally able to push the traces of tears, or the wannabe tears away and look up at Nicole, who stopped her bird scaring to come over to me.
"What's wrong Alex?" She asks still standing in front of me. I don't have a chance to answer before she questers to the seat. "May I sit beside you?" She asks and I scoot over, allowing her room to sit. We sit silently in the company of one another for a second or two before she speaks.
"Alex, I know this is hard for you. I totally get that. I know we don't really know you, but we will try to help you in any way possible, but you have to tell us what's bothering you. We can't fix it unless we know what's broken. Please honey, tell me what's wrong." She pleads beside me with a torn voice. I look up and see her almost in tears.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to cause you pain." I say. 'Stupid! Stupid! Stop causing people pain'
"No, no honey. You didn't do anything to make me sad. I feel sad for you not at you. I'm feeling no pain, but I do feel the need to help you. Can you please tell me what's wrong?" She asks. I feel comfortable around her, well more than James.
"I'm sad." I say, not trying to say any more about my emotions.
"You miss Ben don't you?" She asks and I close my eyes but nod anyway. I can hear the birds above us and I feel the suns warmth on my bear arms, a day like this a year ago and this day would have been perfect.
"Yes, I do." I say feeling the tears in my eyes again.
"He'll be back. Don't worry." She says and put a soft arm around my shoulder.
"How do you know?" I ask, feeling childish the moment it comes out of my mouth.
She leans in really close to me, so close we are almost touching with noses.
"He loves you too much not to. Don't you worry about him, you know him well enough to know that he loves you and would do anything for you. Heck I even knew that by just seeing the two of you interact. Trust me kid, trust me. He'll be back, that's something you don't have to worry about." She says but he words don't make me feel better.
"But how do you know for sure?" I ask still doubtful.
"Let me tell you a little story. James and I met a long time ago, we've been boyfriend and girlfriend ever since. A while back he had to go to war, so he left and I stayed here. I was like you Alex, I was worried he wouldn't come back and the person who cared about me most would leave me unintentionally, but he came back. I would write to him about my feelings toward him being gone and you know what he would say?" She asks and I shrug. "He would say that the love he had for me is so powerful, it wouldn't let him leave me that way. Ben has that same love for you Alex, but it's more in a fatherly type of way." This makes me laugh a little bit.
"I guess you're right." I say thinking about Ben and how good of a spy he is. He'll come back. "Thanks, I really needed that." I say and she smiles before pulling me close. The powers of a woman.
"You're welcome, and if you ever need to talk, just come to me or James, we'd both be happy to help. Now, I have a question for you. What medicine are you taking for your PTSD?" I think back to my long list of medicines before I answer her. (I don't know a medicine name, so … sorry)
"I've actually heard of that before. Ok how about we go scare the birds again before it starts raining." She says and gets up, I follow her lead and walk out to the field where birds are.
James (Wolf's P.O.V)
I watch from afar as Nicole and Alex talk for a while then get up and walk past me to go to the field. This times Alex is going also. I watch Alex pass me, casting a quick smile my way then I focus on my beautiful wife who steps up beside me.
"It's his medicine. It makes him act differently, well not differently but act on his emotions. I since he's a little depressed right now and the medicine isn't letting him hide it. We are walking on very tricky ground now, so please be careful with him." She says and I nod before pulling her close to me.
"I just hope we can help him a little bit at least. It's not right for a child to have to go through this."
Alrighty! How did you guys like it? I made it longer! :D ok so I hope you all review and tell me what you thought. Please don't forget to review, and review. Thanks for reading.. oh and I think I forgot to tell you.. review! :D Chapter 5 will be up sooner if I get the right encouragement.