DISCLAIMER: I, Love Muffin Of Doom, do not claim ownership to Katekyo Hitman Reborn whatsoever! If I did I would make Lambo shoot himself twenty years into the future more often!~ ;)
"Honey, are you sure you're alright? How is that man treating you? Is he nice to you? You know you didn't have to go through with this right?"
Mei laughed nervously into the phone, trying to ignore the fact that Hibari was in the same room and was glaring at the phone she was holding; she desperately hoped the ringing phone hadn't disturbed his nap. "Don't be silly Mum! I'm perfectly fine!" She was desperately trying to cover up the fact that her Mum was talking about Hibari.
"I know dear, but sometimes I worry about you. We haven't even met the man, so I think it's only natural that we are concerned when our daughter-"
The phone suddenly went dead. She turned around just in time to catch Hibari put the disconnected phone cord back onto the table, not even caring that he had just disconnected a phone call on purpose.
"Eh?" Mei asked, shocked. "What was that for Hibari-san?"
"We have visitors, get ready."
Currently rooted to the ground in shock at Hibari's sudden declaration, Mei could only blink in shock. Hibari and visitors? No, he must have said something different! Hibari having visitors just didn't compute!
"B-but!" Hibari raised an eyebrow at the small girl's stuttering and Mei froze.
"Ok!" Mei squeaked and ran off to the kitchen. "I'll get tea then?"
18-18-18
Mei's head turned back and forth, turning between her Husband and her father-in-law over and over again. She blinked and could barely keep herself from rubbing her eyes and shaking her head in disbelief; she seemed to be seeing double. Hibari was a spitting image of his father; the only difference was the obvious age gap, Hibari-papa eyes were shaper and the corners of his eyes branched into regal crow's feet. Mei shrunk back as the elder man raked his solemn eyes over her, evaluating her; she just knew he wasn't going to think that she was good enough for his son…
"Oh you're so adorable!" Hibari-papa exploded, lunging out of his seat, zealously grabbing Mei and crushing the poor, startled girl into his chest who only managed to let a slight squeal before having her breath squeezed out of her. "You're perfect for my son!"
Mei was jerked from Hibari-papa's chest and held at arm's length away from him. The older Hibari studied her intently steel blue eyes boring into Mei's startled ones. Hibari-papa stared at her intently, not saying anything, Mei tensed up, Hibari-papa was proving to be very unpredictable after all.
"So, when are the grandchildren coming?" Mei was stunned into silence at the very abrupt question, and so could do nothing but stutter incomprehensibly, turning a brilliance crimson colour as Hibari-papa jerked her around excitedly. She could swear she heard the elder Hibari giggling, Mei was sure that sound was enough to scar her for life.
Hibari pinched the bridge of his nose; he could feel the beginnings of a migraine coming on with his father's antics.
"Father, if my wife is already with child then your manhandling of her will lessen the chance of you receiving your highly anticipated grandchildren."
At Hibari's sudden statement Hibari-papa suddenly dropped the still stunned and blushing Mei onto her floor cushion and let out an excited squeal.
"Kyoya!" Hibari-papa bellowed delightedly. "You sly dog, you! My son doesn't waste any time does he? Come over here and gimme a hug!"
With that said Hibari didn't move a muscle towards giving his father a hug, but not to be deterred, Hibari-papa simply lunged out of his seat towards his son, flying across the room in a large mass of failing arms and legs that the younger Hibari simply dodged.
Still glued to her seat, Mei could do nothing but stare, bewildered at the actions of the two Hibari men, a blush still burning up her face. She never expected that a Hibari would ever act like a hyperactive child, much less Hibari own father! Mei then thought it was more than safe to assume that Hibari was more like his mother, personality wise at least.
"Mou~~~" Hibari-papa whined from his place on the floor. "You're so mean to your papa Kyoya!~~"
Hibari simply scoffed at his whining father, wondering why he didn't suddenly 'have important business' when his father announced that he was visiting and left that stupid, female herbivore to deal with his embarrassment of a father. No, Hibari mentally shook his head, his father was not a herbivore, and Hibari knew that his father would find him and somehow get him back into his house, even if he tried to evade him. No all he could do was hope that his father would leave his precious – previously private – domain soon.
"But Oh!" Hibari-papa leapt to his feet and struck a dramatic pose. "I can hardly wait to see little, itty-bitty Kyoya Clones running around! And I'll be a Grandpapa!"
Again the hyperactive Hibari lunged at the hapless Mei, who just managed to put her tea cup down before it was destroyed by Hibari-papa's excitement. So, Mei realized that all she could do was tense and mentally prepare herself for being tossed about by the elder Hibari.
Instead of picking her up, Hibari-papa stopped himself right before crashing into her and instead took to rubbing the poor, bewildered girl's tummy.
"So, how far along are you?"
Crimson quickly spread across Mei's cheeks. And all she could do was stutter, too embarrassed to actually think up anything intelligent to say.
"Um, I-I'm, I mean, I'm not actually, U-Um, I mean, H-Hibari-san, W-well, I, He didn't, I mean, He said if, Uh- Um…."
Hibari-papa seemed to get what Mei was trying, and failing, to say. The elder Hibari's eyes narrowed dramatically into a bone-chilling glare and Mei was suddenly reminded exactly how much Hibari-papa looked like Hibari. An 'Eep' escaped her mouth and she stopped her babbling, hoping that Hibari-papa wouldn't do anything too drastic and that Hibari-san wouldn't be too mad at her after.
Taking Mei firmly by the shoulder Hibari-papa escorted her to the floor cushion next to Hibari and sat her down. Hibari didn't say anything; he just sat there sipping his tea, not even looking at the pathetic herbivore that he happened to be married to. Although Mei couldn't help but notice that her normally apathetic husband/roommate/soon-to-be-best-friend's eye was twitching slightly. That frightened Mei even more than Hibari-papa and his sudden mood changes. And she desperately hoped that she would never have to meet the rest of the Hibari family.
The older, now solemn, Hibari turned his piecing gaze to the young and highly unconventional couple.
"Now," Hibari-papa said as he lowered himself to the floor cushion directly across from his annoyed, twitching son and his embarrassed daughter-in-law. "I have already had this little talk with Kyoya but it seems like the two of you desperately need to hear this talk again."
Hibari's eye twitched even more, and Mei shifted nervously, although she couldn't deny that she was horribly curious as to what could have caused Hibari's sudden reaction.
"Well, you see." Hibari-papa began matter-of-factly. "When a man and a woman love each other very much or, in your case, are married and have absolutely no way of getting out of said marriage and hence will have to learn to love each other. They want to do certain things that show they're love for each other."
By now Hibari's eye was twitching furiously, Mei had gone completely red and looked to be stunned into silence and Hibari-papa continued happily lecturing the un-happily weds about the detailed process of procreation.
'Really?' Mei's subconscious shrieked at her. 'Is our father-in-law really going to have the talk with us? And with Hibari-san?'
"Father," Hibari decided to interrupt this pointless and rather one-sided conversation. "I am an adult and more than aware of the topic that you wish to discuss. Hence you blathering on about it is unnecessary."
Mei was promptly jerked out of her stunned silence by Hibari's subtle insult.
"I AM an adult Hibari-san!" Mei protested, momentarily forgetting her fear of Hibari in light of the insult directed at her person.
Hibari spared her a slight glance. "Hn."
"Well, you are way more childish then me, so there!" Mei shot back at Hibari, who, for all of his response, might as well have been a stone wall.
This time Mei got a raised eyebrow, she decided to count that as progress.
Mei decided her next comeback to her one-sided argument was going to be even more awesome. She opened her mouth to verbally own Hibari and-
"AWWWW~~~ How cute; a lover's quarrel!" Hibari-papa burst out, momentarily forgetting his speech in order to watch bonding time between his son and daughter-in-law. "I think the two of you are finally getting the point."
Hibari-papa's hands joined together and were clasped dramatically at his chest. "I knew my talk would work!"
Hibari's eyebrow stopped twitching, and he recognized this as an opportunity to get rid of his meddling father. He sent a glance towards the still blushing, horribly immature herbivore.
He reached his hand out towards Mei, who was currently wondering if this day could get any weirder, and flicked her right on the forehead. Mei then concluded that yea; this day did just get weirder.
Hibari-papa's eyes lit up at the display of affection that his son had shown his new wife. In Hibari-papa's eyes this was practically a marriage proposal, if one ignored the fact that they were already married. Grandchildren were practically on the horizon!
"Well," Hibari-papa announced, standing up triumphantly. "I think I sense L-O-V-E in the air." The elder Hibari preformed a weird kind of wiggle-dance, and Mei wasn't sure whether or not to feel disturbed, or to burst out laughing. Not to mention Hibari just flicked her, and it HURT! She didn't even do anything! Oh well, she guessed she could forgive it, after all, it made Hibari-papa happy and he had stopped talking about how babies are made. Either way, it's not like she could flick Hibari back and live.
"Kukuku, it seems like my work here is done!" Hibari-papa bowed lightly, made a grab at Hibari - missed - then settled for making a grab at Mei. Unable to dodge in time Mei was subjected to another of Hibari-papa's enthusiastic hugs.
When Hibari-papa finally let go of the poor Mei and got to the door Hibari breathed an inaudible sigh a relief. Mei just focused on breathing.
"Bye Kyoya! Bye Mei-chan!" The elder Hibari spastically waved his hand in the air in a form of farewell. "Remember be safe, actually never mind, don't be safe, I want grandchildren, and I'll do whatever it takes to get them!"
With those last words, Hibari-papa left his son's 'welcoming home', chuckling to himself.
However Hibari-papa's ominous words hung around the Demon of Namimori and the Plant eater, neither of them really wanted to think about what Hibari-papa meant by 'whatever it takes'.
The two of them stood in silence for a moment, both (although Hibari would never admit it) slightly traumatized by Hibari-papa's visit.
"Hibari-san?" Mei finally ventured to break the silence. Hibari barely decided to acknowledge her existence with a glance. "No offence, but I think Hibari-papa is scarier than you."
"Hn," Hibari muttered in agreement before deciding he had enough of this silly, tiny herbivore and going back inside his house.
A/N: Fufufu, enter Hibari-papa! I hope you guys like him, I myself always found the idea of a hyperactive Hibari-papa quite entertaining, and I hope you guys do too.
Thank SOOOOOOO much to all of the people who review and Favourite/Story Alert this! It means HEAPS to me that people actually like this story, and you guy are what keeps this wacky excuse for a story alive! Again, if you think that any of the characters are OOC or Mary-Sueish PLEASE let me know and I shall fix it as best I can!
Oh and again, I'm really not sure if I should have Mei get shot with the TYL Bazooka, so tell me what you think about that idea.~~
Everyone loves reviews~
~Love and Coffee~
Love Muffin (Of Doom)