Chapter Four –Taking Chances

Disclaimer – Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer

*~*~*~ F F ~*~*~*

This might hurt, it's not safe, but I know that I've gotta make a change.

.

What did I do?

Bella sank against the door, closing her eyes and allowing herself a moment to just feel. I just wish I had a clue what I was I was feeling. In her mind, she could see the hope in his eyes, the yearning there, but it was foreign and not a little startling. No one's ever yearned for me…

She slid to the floor, let her bag just drop to the ground, and lay her head on her knees. Seeing him at Rose's door had been quite a surprise, but she never suspected the next few hours would turn her upside down the way they had. She felt so comfortable, so normal with him, with them, that it was disconcerting. It had taken her a while to open up to Angela when they met in college, and subsequently Ben, to feel like she could be herself, but in a few short hours, these people had her feeling like they were old friends.

And then there was Edward. His handsome face had lit up with pleasure when he saw her; he listened, really listened, to every word she said. He was unerringly polite and attentive, and he acted as if he'd known her, really known her, not simply met her the day before. And although this feeling was somehow familiar to her, it scared Bella nevertheless. Never before had she felt a connection to another person the way she felt connected to Edward. Not even Sam…

Bella winced at the thought of Sam. Not even going there right now. She got up off the floor, and walked straight upstairs to her bedroom. Stepping out of her dress, she grabbed a robe and the throw from her bed and headed out onto the balcony. The moon and stars called to her that night, and perhaps they'd lend an ear as well.

Settling herself on the lounger, Bella gazed up at the three-quarter moon. The stars were especially bright, flickering and dancing in the inky sky. Everything was so much clearer here, without the constant cloud cover of Washington. I could fall asleep simply counting the stars…

"I'm scared…" she whispered to the night sky. "Why does he pull at me? I don't get it. Maybe I shouldn't go out with him…" She closed her eyes, allowing the frustrated tears to come. "What is wrong with me?"

Bella cried, the tears rolling down her face, until she was purged. Then she sighed and quieted, allowing the night sounds to soothe her. For a moment, she heard the voice of her father, gravelly and tired, talking to her on the breeze. "Baby, you will find love one day. Your mom and I, well, we didn't give you the best example, but you will find it."

"Well, it certainly wasn't Sam," she answered the breeze, laying her head back against the chair and closing her eyes. "Maybe I just wasn't meant to find love, either, Dad."

Again the voice brushed across her face. "You will, Bella. You just have to be strong and have faith."

"I'm not strong, Daddy. I'm so tired…"

*~*~*~ F F ~*~*~*

Bella woke up a few hours later, wrapped up in her blanket on the lounge chair. Shaking her head at herself, she made her way inside and crawled into bed. But her sleep was fitful and filled with images of the past; images of her dying father, her cheating boyfriend, ok, technically he didn't cheat, and packing up the only place she'd ever called home.

As the orange and pink glow of dawn lit her bedroom, Bella gave up on sleep and got up for the day. She made her way into the shower to wash away some of the discomfort of spending half the night on a lounger, and then headed down to the kitchen to get dressed.

She grabbed her purse off the floor by the front door where she'd abandoned it the night before and brought it with her to the kitchen. Pulling her cell phone out, she noticed she had a text message.

Looking forward to dinner. Sleep tight. ~Edward

Bella's heart thumped wildly in her chest. Whether it was from nerves or excitement, or a combination of the two, she couldn't quite determine, but he certainly caused a reaction. She felt herself flush at simply reading his innocent words, and finally she allowed herself to smile. She remembered her father's words from her dream last night. She had to be patient and strong. Not wishy-washy and scared of everyone and everything. But what if I can't be strong…

Bella was so focused on the text message in front of her that she jumped out of her chair when her phone actually rang. Her stomach was in knots as she looked to see the number and then realized she didn't recognize it. Twin levels of relief and disappointment shot through her as she realized it wasn't Edward.

"Hello?" She set about making some kind of breakfast for herself.

"Is this Bella?" a friendly, yet unfamiliar voice asked.

"Yes," she said, remembering it could be a work call. "I'm sorry, this is Bella Swan."

"Hi Bella, my name is Tyler Crowley. Ben Cheney called me about the two of us working on a project together for the Seaside Music Festival that's happening next weekend."

"Oh right. Hi Tyler, it's nice to meet you, well you know what I mean. Ben mentioned the festival when I talked to him on Friday."

"Yeah, I spoke with him last week. It's really too much for me to cover alone, so I figure if you were interested, we could cover it together, maybe get two different takes on the artists that play."

"That sounds like a great idea, I'd love to get a feel for the music scene in the area, but I don't really know that many people yet…" Bella began. Tyler's enthusiasm for his job was contagious, and she felt herself getting excited about the festival and this job.

"No, but I do! And since the bands are all local, and I'm local and familiar with most of them, I could do a hometown kind of thing."

"Oh, I think see where you're going with this," Bella interjected, getting more excited about the idea by the minute. "I could cover the 'new ear' perspective; give the readers a fresh viewpoint on the artists they are already familiar with."

"You got it! That's exactly what I was thinking, a fresh set of ears, and we could pull it all together with a grab that we're offering the readers a way to see their favorites in a way they've never seen them before. Your way."

"Oh, I really like that, Tyler." Bella's mind was running a mile a minute, thinking of ways to twist and turn the words she'd write to pull the reader in and experience the music festival the way she would. She almost didn't hear Tyler's next words.

"…can only get together tonight, though."

"I'm sorry, Tyler, I missed half of that, what were you saying?" she asked, her stomach turning over in a combination of relief and dread.

"I'm heading out tomorrow to cover a festival in Georgia, and I won't be back until Friday. So I was hoping we could get together tonight to go meet, make a game plan, go over the festival's artists, etc. I'm actually driving in from Tennessee right now, and I should be back in town around three. I was thinking we could meet for dinner, grab a big table somewhere and just plan it all out."

Bella thought of Edward, saw his beautiful face in her mind and an internal war waged inside her. He'll understand. The frightened coward inside her sighed in relief, having a valid excuse to break their date. Her sad and lonely heart put up a faint protest. "There's no way of you getting back earlier? I kinda had plans…"

"I'm sorry, I can't get back any earlier. Tonight's it, unless you want to wait until Friday?" Tyler suggested.

"No, that doesn't give us nearly enough time." Bella sighed in frustration. She'd have to call and cancel her date with Edward and while a large part of her felt relieved, her heart cracked just a little bit.

"Ok, since you're new to the area, why don't I come to you? We can meet somewhere close?" Tyler suggested a place Bella remembered passing on her way back from the grocery on Saturday, so they settled on a time and said goodbye.

Bella procrastinated all morning, her stomach in knots at the thought of calling Edward and cancelling their date. It's probably better in the long run, he'll figure out I'm abnormal sooner or later…

At noon she finally summoned all her courage and called the number she retrieved from his text. With shaking hands and her heart in her throat, she listened to the phone ring. The sound of his voice nearly brought her to her knees; the joy in it was palpable.

"Good afternoon, Bella. Did you sleep well?"

"Fi… fine Edward, thank you." Oh, my God, I'm stuttering. She took a deep breath to gather herself together. "How about you?"

"Just wonderful, Bella." His voice saying her name sent thrills through her. "One of the best night's sleep I've ever had, I'd venture to say."

"That's good." Her voice shook; she could actually hear it. And she was stalling. "How's your day go… going?"

His voice dropped and became even more intimate than before. "Bella, is everything all right? You sound like something's wrong."

The warmth in his voice made her heart ache more. "Edward, I can't … I need to … I can't have dinner with you tonight." She let out an enormous breath as she continued, "I have to meet with a colleague to work on a project tonight, and it's the only time he can meet me. I'm sorry…"

She heard his intake of breath and the second or so before he responded seemed like hours to her. "I'm sorry to hear that, Bella." He sounded so forlorn. "Would you like to have a quick lunch, or maybe have coffee this afternoon before you meet him?"

And her heart continued to break. "I can't, I need to research this festival and get a game plan started." She felt the coward smile in triumph as she said, "It's going to keep me busy all week, and into next weekend."

"Oh. Well…" Bella thought she would cry from the sadness she heard in his voice. But he wasn't giving up. "Maybe once the festival's over, we can try to get together again?"

And in that instant she knew she was making a mistake. Cancelling their date was a mistake, allowing the coward inside of her to win was a mistake; but it was too late.

Knowing it probably would never happen, she allowed her lonely heart a little hope. "Sure, Edward. I'd like that."

She heard voices in the background on his end, and then a muffling on his phone before he returned to say sadly, "Bella, I have to get to another lesson; I'm sorry. Can I call you?"

"Why don't I call you once this festival is over?" she suggested, the coward smirking in the corner.

"All right. Take care, Bella," he said grimly. "I'll talk to you soon."

"Goodbye, Edward," she whispered into the phone, feeling as though her heart had been pulled out of her chest. This can't be the right thing, it hurts too much… It didn't hurt this much when Sam told me…

Bella didn't allow that train of thought to continue, nothing good could possibly come from rehashing the situation with Sam. Instead, she started researching the bands to keep busy. She spent much of the afternoon researching the different artists that were to be featured at the weekend's festival. Some she was quite familiar with, some she had merely heard of and some were completely unknown to her.

It occurred to her that Edward could have been a great help in her research. He and his staff at the store were very knowledgeable about the local music scene; they could have been a great resource. She pushed this thought aside as she read the background on yet another local band, pulling up their website and getting to know their members. In some corner of her mind, Bella knew she may have burned a very important bridge. But at that moment, in order to get through the next few days, she decided that denial was her friend. She politely asked her inner coward to stop gloating, she kindly asked her battered heart to just bear with her, and she set up her game plan for the festival.

*~*~*~ F F ~*~*~*

"We're never going to be able to cover that many bands over the weekend," Bella wailed, throwing her hands up in the air.

"Relax, we don't have to cover all of them," Tyler assured her. "If we focus on half of the favorites, and then add in some of the more obscure bands, it'll wind up being a nice combination of known and unknown for the reader. Don't you think?" He looked at her, one eyebrow raised in question.

"That's a good idea, actually." Bella calmed down and really looked at Tyler. He was a cute guy if you liked tall, dark and handsome. He was very friendly, but not in a creepy, stalker kind of friendly. Just a nice, friendly guy. And Bella felt not a thing. All she could think about as she looked at his dark eyes was Edward's beautiful green ones. And while she appreciated Tyler's dark hair, she couldn't help but think of Edward's thick, reddish brown waves.

The two of them sat in a booth at the back of the pub, papers and flyers from the festival spread out all over the table. The place was relatively empty for a Sunday, and for that they were grateful. The waitress came over with their food, and Tyler shuffled all the papers over to his side while Bella closed her laptop and moved it out of harm's way.

"Can I get you another beer?" the waitress asked Tyler, casually ignoring Bella's empty glass. Bella glanced at her, taking note of her blonde hair and blue eyes, and rolled her eyes at Tyler – the waitress was in for a rude awakening come tip-time.

"No, I'm good… but my friend would love another beer, wouldn't you, Bella?" Tyler inclined his head towards Bella while giving the waitress a friendly smile.

"Oh, of course. I'll be right back with that. Enjoy your meal." She gave Tyler a flirty look before leaving their table.

Bella laughed at the look of chagrin on Tyler's face. "I'm really sorry about that," he apologized. "I have no idea why she's being so rude."

"Pft, you're a cute guy, and she wishes she was sitting here with you, not me," Bella scoffed, using a fry from her plate to make her point. "It's pretty funny, actually…"

"Why's that?" Tyler tipped his head to the side, a questioning look on his face.

Bella paused while the waitress delivered her fresh draft. She tried to thank the woman, but she barely glanced in Bella's direction before walking away.

"It's like I'm not even here; she doesn't care that you're with someone… she has no idea what our relationship is." Bella took a sip of her beer. "It's a good thing I'm not your date or I'd be pretty pissed off."

Tyler laughed. "Duly noted. How's your beer?"

"Cold and foamy, how's your food?"

"Hot and delicious. This place is a hole, but the food's great. Dig in."

Conversation was reduced greatly as dinner was consumed, but as they finished, Tyler brought up the festival again. They talked logistics of which bands they would focus on over the course of each day, and when they would get together to discuss everything.

Bella found herself enjoying the evening despite herself. Tyler was just an easy person to like and get along with, and there was no confusing pull of attraction or weird nervousness to make her feel off-balance. She could simply sit back, be herself and have fun.

They spent hours going over their game plan. Bella knew she had a lot of research to do before Friday arrived; so many of the bands were local and she wasn't very familiar with their music. Plus, she wanted to find just the right way to grab the audience, pull them into what she and Tyler were experiencing. It definitely would keep her busy all week.

Bella found herself pulling in to her driveway close to eleven that night. As she did, she glanced over at the house next door, noting how dark and quiet it was compared to the bright and boisterous place it was the night before. Was that only last night?

Bella immediately thought of Edward; she wondered if he had dinner with Emmett and Rose again, or if he had it at his own apartment. She knew from their conversation the day before that he lived over the music store, alone… she wondered if he was alone at that moment. Had he found someone else to have dinner with him when she'd canceled at the last minute? Were there other women that he dated casually – or not so casually?

Her stomach turning over at this thought, Bella made her way into her house. In what had quickly become a nightly ritual, she changed into her pajamas, grabbed the throw and headed to the balcony off her bedroom.

This time there were no soft voices on the breeze to remind her of her father, just a bright moon and shimmering stars to keep her company while she tried to answer the questions floating around in her head. Spending so much time with Tyler on research for the festival had helped put it out of her mind, but now that she was still, it all came back to her in a rush of confusion. His beautiful eyes, the pull to be near him, the way he made her smile, how natural it felt to be with him… and how that all terrified her.

Receiving no answers from the stars, Bella sighed and went back inside and headed to bed.

*~*~*~ F F ~*~*~*

By Thursday afternoon, Bella was a twitchy ball of nerves. She spent the better part of four days researching the bands for the festival, investigating her new town, and grocery shopping. Everywhere she turned, she saw Edward.

Out for a drive in the Monday morning sunshine, she inadvertently drove right past Edward's store. Change Your Tune – she smiled, loving the name – was located right in the middle of town, at one of the few stop lights. Without thinking, Bella circled around the block and parked across the street.

Feeling like quite the stalker herself, she watched people walk in and out of the store for half an hour before she drove home, ashamed of her actions.

On Tuesday, she daydreamed through a phone call with Ben and Angela, after having spent a restless night dreaming of hopeful green eyes shining with happiness. If she concentrated hard enough, she could feel the light pressure of his hand on the small of her back as he walked her home.

Wednesday brought a visit to the library and the grocery store, and Bella didn't even bother trying to convince herself that it was accidental when she found herself outside Edward's store once again. She couldn't explain it, but something kept bringing her back here – she missed him. There was simply no denying it anymore.

Thursday morning found Bella strolling the pier, getting a feel for where the music festival was going to be held. She'd spoken with Tyler multiple times during the week, and they were comfortable with their plans for the weekend. But since Bella was new to the area, she wanted to get a feel for the venue, where the bands would be playing, where vendors would be setting up, where the food and the other services would be located.

And there, among the names of the other benefactors of the festival, was Edward Cullen, Change Your Tune. Of course, he'd be involved with the festival, you dummy. He owns the only music store in town.

So, Bella was almost giddy with relief when she pulled into her driveway Thursday afternoon and saw Rose in her front yard. She was ashamed to admit she'd been avoiding her and Emmett, not wanting to have to explain the situation with Edward. But she'd hit the wall; she needed a friend to talk to and Rose was it.

Crossing her yard, she jiggled her keys at Rose suggestively, praying she'd take the bait.

Bella took a deep breath and planted a smile on her face as she offered Rose her car keys. "Wanna take her for a spin?"

Raising an eyebrow, Rose stood and snatched the keys out of her hand. "Hell, yeah. What did I do to deserve… You know what? Never mind, I don't care… Let me just grab my purse." Rose bolted into the house, grabbed her bag and was back in the driveway in record time.

"Let's go, Swan." She winked at Bella as she climbed into the driver's seat, fastened her seatbelt, adjusted mirrors, and backed out the driveway.

A couple of miles of warm sunshine and wind in her hair made Bella feel much more relaxed. Still, the silence grew until it was obviously too much for Rose.

"Ok, Swan… Spill."

"So now I'm 'Swan', huh?" Bella laughed, feeling some of her anxiety ease.

Rose laughed with her. "Nah, I just like saying 'Swan' like that… Really, though, what's going on?"

Bella sighed heavily, not sure what to say or where to start. "I, um… sorta cancelled a date with Edward."

"You 'sorta' cancelled a date?" Rose glanced at her quickly before returning her eyes to the road. "What does 'sorta' mean?"

"I had a valid reason; I had to meet a colleague to work on a project."

"Ok, so why the avoidance, Bella?" Bella's heart sank. She knew it was too good to be true that he hadn't told his friends about what she'd done. "He's a good guy, Bella. He's not a dick, he won't fool around on you, he's not bad to look at…"

"He scares the crap out of me," Bella admitted quietly. "He's intense; I'm not used to intense. I have no idea how to deal with intense."

Rose laughed at this. "I'll admit he's intense. But I've also never seen him react to someone the way he reacted to you. He's never walked a girl home before, Bella."

She said it so seriously, and the ridiculousness of the statement had them both laughing so hard they were nearly crying. Bella handed Rose a tissue to dry her eyes so she wouldn't crash the car, and they returned to more sober conversation.

"Seriously, Swan, I'm not going to give you his life story. That's his to tell. But he's a good guy, give him a chance. I can tell you want to, I'm just not sure why you're holding back."

"I'm in unchartered territory here," Bella confessed. "I'm not much of a relationship person, but I feel a weird connection to him… I don't know, it sounds stupid."

"It doesn't, Bella. Follow your instincts."

They spent the rest of the drive discussing the weekend's music festival. Apparently the whole town turned out, so she was sure to see Rose and Emmett, as well as Edward and most of the store staff at one point or another. She felt very foolish, not having taken advantage of people and resources right under her nose. Bella vowed to rectify that mistake, as well as a couple others, first thing in the morning.

*~*~*~ F F ~*~*~*

One week after arriving in town, Bella walked into the same café hoping to see Edward but was disappointed to find the place nearly empty. She looked at her watch, thinking she procrastinated too long and now she was going to have to go the store and see him there, among all his friends, in his element.

She decided to get her coffee to go, and walked to the store from the café. It was a beautiful morning, and she was grateful for that because it helped keep her nerves at bay during the whole walk over.

Bella was also grateful for the coffee; she spent a restless night tossing and turning and woke feeling like she'd gotten little or no sleep. Nerves, I guess. She'd decided to stop fighting the pull to Edward and see where it took her. And now she was scared to death. She steeled herself against her nerves and heard her father's words in her head. Be strong and have faith.

Change Your Tune was open for business, and business was apparently good on a Friday morning. Bella let herself in and was immediately met with a moderately loud, folk-y guitar/banjo/mandolin combination that sounded oddly familiar. Everyone in the store seemed to move with the beat the music, including the customers, and the overall feeling was so upbeat and positive that Bella couldn't hold back her smile.

The first person to greet Bella was a cute blonde guy, who introduced himself as Mike. His eyebrows nearly hit his hairline when Bella specifically asked for Edward. He recovered quickly, however, tilted his head to one side and said kindly, "You wouldn't happen to be Bella, would you?"

Bella had been looking around, but her eyes snapped to his at that question. Before she could answer, he said, "Oh, never mind. I can see you are." He turned his head to call out behind him. "JESS! Get over here!"

Bella felt an embarrassed heat color her face. What has he told his co-workers? She tried to compose her face into a smile as a pretty young woman with light brown, curly hair walked over to join them.

"What's up, Mike?"

"Jess, this is Bella…"

Jess gasped up at Mike but quickly covered it. She turned to Bella, smiling. "It's really nice to meet you."

"It's nice to meet you both, too. Um, is Edward around? I need to talk to him." She was feeling decidedly uncomfortable with these people who obviously knew who she was.

"You stay put, doll. I'll go get him." Mike strolled to the back of the store, leaving Bella to find something to fill the silence with Jess.

"So, um, Edward told me you teach violin? That must be fun."

Jess smiled shyly. "Yeah. Violin, viola, some cello. There's not that much demand for cello here, though. But I teach a lot of violin. It's fun, I like the kids."

"Oh, are your students mostly children?" Bella was surprised; she never considered that the students would be predominantly younger.

"For the most part," Jess clarified. "We do have a few adult students; those are mostly Edward's, either on guitar or piano."

Before she could respond, something told Bella to turn around. He was there, she could feel him there. Slowly, she raised her eyes to his face, taking in the glow in his eyes, the smile gracing his face, the sense of peace emanating from him. And she felt some of that peace reflected back inside her.

"Bella..." He simply said her name, nothing else. Just hearing her name from his lips sent a warmth through her.

She couldn't see her own smile but judging from the ache in her cheeks, Bella was sure it matched Edward's. His eyes held a hint of a question, as if he wasn't quite sure why she was there, but didn't really care as long as she was. And that gave her the courage to ask her question.

"What are you doing for dinner, Edward?"

*~*~*~ F F ~*~*~*

A/N - Hi and thanks for reading!

Thank you to everyone for reading, reviewing, tweeting and retweeting. I am so excited by the response!

As always, my love and thanks to Katie (tanglingshadows) and Jen (JenGreen03) for pre-reading and always being there, and the the girls on twitter for constantly tweeting and retweeting all my updates and teasers.

Don't forget to check out my profile for the amazing banner that Heatherdawn made! If I could, I'd walk around with it in a dialogue bubble above my head all the time, I love it that much!

Opening lyrics are from "The Motions" written by Jason Houser, Sam Mizell and Matthew West; the music playing in the store when Bella walked in was Mumford & Sons.

Please take a second and click that button to leave a little review - the feedback is really very helpful.

Thanks!
Jen