Chapter 4
Pam had lied to me, I knew it more then the back of my hand. I knew she was also keeping something from me. She told me she had taken care of the person who had killed her brother. She sounded weird and well not herself. Throughout the day I was seriously thinking of ditching all that I had done to be with Freyda and go find Pam. Make Pam tell me what was going on. I tried to sleep, got maybe a few hours sleep but no where near enough.
Freyda clicked her tongue at me, when she saw me in the night waking up. Shaking her head telling me to clean up and that I could make another child if I really wanted to. That was not what was bothering me. Yet I did not tell her my fears or concerns. She would be jealous or get mad. I knew her well enough.
After I cleaned up she floored me with news, news that Bill was coming to our anniversary this year as King of New Orleans with special guests that were belly dancers. Belly dancers had he lost his mind. I could only reply to her oh, that's nice. Then we got down to the business deals we were doing. Making this kingdom flourish even more.
Now I was by myself and I sat thinking about the day that my maker died. How Sookie was there with me, what he said to her. Which got me thinking of Sookie. Damn that woman, she still hurt me, but I hide it well. It's what I do best hide emotions, and do moves, calculating. Trying to make this happen or that, until the day she came into my bar on the arms of Bill. Bill fucking Compton and he said she was his. To me she was like the Sunshine I still can not see, nor feel. She was something that made my heart feel. I gave her away to be a King, and now that I fear I could loose her I want nothing more then to see what she has become. Would her face crease with wrinkles of laughter? Would it be filled with sorrow now that Sam was dead? Would she be okay, was it her sorrow I felt the other day. I knew nothing, nothing at all. Turning to my desk I turn my computer on.
I do the only thing I could think of, and Google her. I find photos of her, with children. Aging so gracefully that it made me surprised I still want to find her and make mad passionate love to her. To take away the sorrow I felt from her. Her children are beautiful. She is beautiful. She looks happy with Sam, at Peace. My insides hurt, my vision blurs and I turn off the computer and the constant barrage of something I can never have. Sookie. I wipe at my eyes, and realize there are tears coming from them. Then anger and jealousy I have from Sam having her rears it's ugly head my computer flies off the desk and breaks into a million pieces. I stalk out the door and run into Freyda.
For the first time in she asks me what is wrong, and I only tell her a half truth. I tell her about my makers death, leaving out the fact Sookie was there. She listens she seems caring to me, I almost want to believe it, but I doubt it is real. She is like me, she hides her emotions behind a mask. Doing that cost me Sookie, doing that is poison and I just realized how much of a poison it is. She leads me away, and we go feed from our willing donors they are and it's time for bed. It's day again. This time I am asleep faster then I can comprehend.
Also just so people know. I am not using this is as an excuse, but I do have a brain injury so my writing is not 100% anymore. I do try to proof-read what I write. Yet things will and do get past me. Please let me know where something is wrong so I can work at fixing it. I prefer it to be a great story not just a good one, but I do not always have the ability to see my mistakes. I also get my words confused and not spelled right. I do the best that I can, but I wouldn't say no to help. Thank you.